I Promise
by Shinigami Akumu
Summary: With a reputation for being evil, Seifer is shipped off to Balamb Garden..his last chance. He tries not to get expelled while also trying to capture the Ice Prince's heart. Sadly, it isnt as easy as he thought when dark pasts resurface. Is there any hope?
1. Chapter 1

I Promise

Okies, this is my first FF fic, so be nice, k? I have two other stories going right now(for Full Metal Alchemist and Gundam Wing) which you don't have to worry about at all(for those who are reading them) because this story already has 31 chapters written to it. I'm just revising them and posting them. So don't worry! I can't promise that I'll be able to post EVERY day, but I'll try. So, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own FF8, it's that simple. I'm only putting this ONCE. I'm not going to bother to do it every time. 

* * *

I Promise

Chapter 1: Arrival

"Great."

I had _finally _arrived at Balamb Garden, and it wasn't even very impressive.

I had been kicked out of three other gardens, so, I decided to try a new approach. I would be quiet and follow all the rules-at least for a little while. It was the best way to avoid trouble from all the stupid people running these places. But I _had_ been kicked out…yet again…so my first stop was headmaster Cid. I was ready for a lecture. I had decided days ago that if it didn't work out here, I was just going to leave. A job would be better than going back to parents who didn't want you.

"Now. You have been a big problem for the other Gardens. You will be disciplined, and I will not tolerate..."

I didn't hear the rest.

A boy my age walked past and even looked at me as Cid said those things. He was very sexy with pale blue eyes and soft brown hair that was a little long. That just added to his tough, hot look. The thing that captivated me the most was the scar over the bridge of his nose. _Funny…I have one just like it._

"Is that clear, Seifer?" Cid broke into my thoughts.

"Oh, yeah, headmaster. I promise to behave."

He sighed, "That's what they said you'd tell me."

Had that really been what I said to the other headmasters? Oh well!

* * *

I was now supposed to head to class, but I didn't really know where to go. Until Quistis found me. At least, that's what her ID said. She had blonde hair in some weird style and glasses. _She looks strict._

"What are you doing wandering the halls?"

"I'm not _wandering_ , I'm going to class." Like hell I was going to tell her I was lost.

"You're Seifer aren't you? Well, you have my class, and you're going the _wrong_ way. Follow me."

_Did Cid tell **all** the instructors about me?_

* * *

When we reached the classroom, she introduced herself.

"I am Quistis Trepe. I will be your instructor. Being your superior, I expect you to treat me, as well as your fellow students, with respect. Unfortunately, because of your past, I'll have to sit you next to…Raijin. He will be your escort as well as keep you in line. Understood?"

"Escort?" I asked.

"Didn't headmaster Cid cover that with you?"

I shook my head. _What the hell is this all about?_

"Oh." She rubbed her temples like I was giving her a headache by existing. "Well, because of past…_incidences_..."

I really didn't like the way she explained things.

"You have to have an escort around Garden. You should be by him at all times. If you ever need to go anywhere, even to the infirmary, he must accompany you. With the exception of washroom uses."

"What about at lunch?"

"Well, for the first week or so, you should sit with the Disciplinary Comity. But then you can sit where you like." Not that I would actually make friends to sit with.

"How long does he have to be my escort?"

"A year."

Great. A whole year of following around some guy like a dog on a leash.

"Is all of that clear now?" she seemed impatient.

"Yeah."

"Good. Follow me."

As we walked down the aisle to my seat, I realized that only a few people where seated this early. _And I was yelled at for wandering the halls? _Including the attractive guy I had seen this morning. I hoped he was Raijin, but she sat me a desk away from him.

"Raijin should be here any minute."

* * *

For a while I just stared at my desk-thinking about the mess I had gotten myself into. _I should have been more careful in the third Garden. _I decided to sneak a peak at the boy I saw this morning. I noticed he was staring at his desk, head down, like I had been. But when he turned towards me, I looked away again. _I'm acting like a damn school girl in love. He's good looking, that's IT. Probably not even worth my time. I'm sure he has a wonderful girlfriend. SINCE WHEN DO I LIKE GUYS ANYWAY?_

Then I heard Quistis speak.

"Oh, Raijin-"

"Don't worry instructor. I know all about it, ya know."

Had Cid told the whole Garden! I didn't want to see this Raijin. I didn't want to be disciplined by him either, and hopefully, if all went according to plan, I wouldn't have to be.

I decided not to meet his gaze(which I could feel on me)and just keep my head down. Play it safe and you can't get in trouble.

"I guess you're Seifer. I've heard all about you, ya know?"

I shrugged.

"The silent type? That's no good, ya know? I'm currently the head of the Disciplinary Comity-since you have to follow me, we'll be doing a lot of runnin' around, ya know? You can help us out. You might like it, ya know."

For some reason I looked up at him. He was a big guy with tanned skin and dark eyes and hair. I was still bigger, though. His stupid speech habits were already pissing me off. _A WHOLE YEAR OF THIS! _My eyes burned with rage because of his confidence that he could handle me.

I glared at him. "I don't fetch."

He laughed. "No, I'll be doing that, ya know? You just have to follow me, ya know." He smiled, which proved that he was not intimidated by my glare in the least. He probably just thought it was cute.

_Well, I'll set you straight in the Training Center._

* * *

After class, I couldn't help but ask Raijin about the person I'd been staring at all day. Quistis asked if I was paying attention several times. _Talk about embarrassing._

"What's that guy's name?" I gestured to the smaller boy.

He looked. "Him? That's Squall, ya know."

_Squall. What an odd name...Why is he looking at me like that? _

After he noticed I was looking back, he turned away. _Looks like I'm not the only one acting like a school girl. He's probably just staring because I'm new, though. I'm staring because he's drop-dead SEXY. Big difference._

"I'll tell you right now that you should stay away from him, ya know."

"Why?"

"He doesn't like people, ya know? He never talks or smiles…"

Great. So I was attracted to ascowling mute. _Does life get better than this?_

But now I was interested in him even more.

* * *

How was it? Not too bad, I hope! Review, review! Love and cookies!

Aku-chan


	2. Chapter 2

I Promise

This is a little hard to revise. Heehee…when you originally have girl pairings(I didn't like yaoi back then or even really know about it) you have to change EVERYTHING around. I can't make Seifer say girly things(as a girl used to be the main character)! So I basically keep the overall idea for each chapter and change a lot of things…rewrite all the dialogue…well, what I'm trying to say is, I really appreciate the reviews and I'm glad you guys enjoy my work! Now, on with it!

Extra Warning: Seifers are sarcastic bastards by nature, but they can be nice when they want to. And they cuss a lot.

* * *

Chapter2: Trouble Already?

By lunch time I was bored out of my mind. I had to sit with Raijin and Fujin at their little Disciplinary Comity table. _Oh, gee, what fun!_

"FRIENDS?" Fujin asked.

I pointed to Raijin and chewed on my not-very-appetizing cafeteria food. _What the hell IS this shit?_

"He's a trouble maker, ya know?" he said. "He has to sit here, and I have to watch his every move, ya know." He looked at me. "Oh, and watch out for Rinoa, ya know? She picks on new guys, ya know." _And I'm supposed to watch out for someone I don't' know…how exactly?_

"FREEDOM." Fujin stated. _Wow, you aren't a woman of many words, huh?_

Raijin shrugged, "It's the rules, ya know?"

"I don't care about the rules." _I've had enough of your damn weird ass speech habits. _I saw Squall sitting alone in a corner by a window. He didn't look too friendly, but who knows? _Maybe this guy won't be as bad as everyone says._ Problem is, according to Raijin, this guy didn't talk-I talk a lot. I got up and walked over there while Raijin called me back. He didn't go after me, though, and I was relieved. "Can I sit here?"

Squall shrugged. _Not a good start._

"I'm Seifer Almasy."

"I know." And that was it. At least he actually spoke.

We sat silently and finished our lunch. I still couldn't think of anything interesting to say, and I had a feeling he wouldn't give a rat's ass if I did. I was just about to get up, when Squall's comment stopped me.

"Are you going to be sitting here tomorrow?"

"Yeah-erm-that is, if you don't care."

Squall shrugged and someone approached. It was a girl who would be considered "cute" by most, but I held no interest. She wore light blue with black. It looked preppy to me. _Is this the Rinoa?_

She waltzed over with a smile and a voice that dripped honey. "Squally, come sit with me. And who's your little friend? You wouldn't be Seifer, would you?"

Squall glared up at her. "Friends are a waste of time. And so are you." _Ouch. I'm guessing he doesn't like her much._

"So, Seifer's not your friend?"

"No." _What the hell kind of answer is that? Just "no"? Not "no, I just met him"? THAT would have been better. Is it just because you're not good with the ladies like me? Puberty boy!_

I tried to stay calm. "And just how the hell do you know my name?"

"Everyone around here knows your name by now, _Seifer Almasy_." She smiled sweetly. "We, the students, were told to use caution around you. But you don't seem so bad-why don't you come sit with me?"

"No thanks." I got out of there as soon as possible.

* * *

Right before I walked into my dorm that night, Rinoa showed up again.

"What are you-a jackass in a box? You keep popping up randomly. What do you want now?"

She laughed as if I hadn't just insulted her. "I just wanted to talk!"

"I'll pass."

She tried a seductive smile that I didn't give a shit about. "I like you. I think the headmaster was over reacting a little."

"Like me?" _Breathe…just breathe, Seifer. _"Look, I don't give a shit if you like me or not."

Then I slammed the door in her face.

"This isn't over yet, Seifer."

* * *

I couldn't sleep. Squall. Rinoa. They were invading my dreams and my thoughts. _Ugh, why me? _I had kind of hoped she'd just say "stay away from my Squally" and then leave me alone. But like me? _There has to be more to it._ My first day and I was frustrated as hell.

I knew it was against the rules, but I decided to go to the Training Center. I felt like killing something. And hey, no one would be around. Most of these kiddies gave the impression that they cared about rules. I didn't even wear my uniform. Squall didn't either, which was another thing I liked. _Squall. STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!_

Apparently, I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. Said grumpy ass was walking down the hall. I ran to catch up. _So much for not thinking about him. Maybe he'll train with me. I hope he's tougher than he looks._

"Hey."

"…"

We walked in silence for a while. Then Squall spoke to me, which almost gave me a heart attack.

"What'd she say to you?"

I jumped. "Geez, you want to _warn_ me before you actually talk next time? And it depends on who you're talking about."

"Rinoa. I saw her at your dorm earlier."

"Well, she said she liked me. What do you care?"

"I don't." _My ass you don't!_

* * *

We were quiet for the rest of the way to the Training Center. I guessed he was trying to figure it out. Hell, _I_ was trying to figure it out. _If you get it, let me know, princess._

We fought each other for a while, but the only thing hurting me was the silence. _Why won't you fucking say anything! This is driving me crazy!_

"Now who would come here at two in the morning?"

I started to turn around, and Squall promptly sliced my shoulder open on-what I hoped was-an accident. And there was Rinoa with that grin on her face.

"Fuck, _Squall_! Can't you tell when I STOP?"

Squall shrugged. _You asshole._

"Oh, no! That looks so bad! I should take you to the infirmary, Seifer!" She faked concern.

"Like you don't want me to bleed to death."

She smiled. "What a terrible thing to say."

I just…laughed. "Okay, I give up. Come on Rinoa-I see you're out to get me. So do it. Take me to Cid. See if you can get me kicked out of Balamb, too. It makes no difference to me."

"Now why would I want to do that? Actually, Squall was out here first. I was thinking it was his fault…and he cut you!"

"I won't let you blame it on someone else."

"Oh, no?"

"I can lie as easily as you can." I pointed my Hyperion at her. "I'll fight you before someone takes blame for me. I'm not a coward."

"Now, Seifer. You wouldn't hurt me, would you?"

"I-" I growled and lowered my blade. "No…" _Only if I have to._

"That's a good boy. I'll let you off this time Squall. Now go!"

"This time?"

"Squally knows where he stands."

_You bitch! What are you up to? _

Squall said nothing as usual and left. I tried to follow.

"Hold on Seifer."

"What do you want?" I asked. _I just want to get out of here._

"You."

"What!" _Seriously?_

"Why did you slam your door in my face?" _Ha ha…I jump to conclusions too quickly._

"Because you're an idiot."

"Okay. I'll be nice from now on."

"That won't change anything, princess prep. I've already seen the real you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a headache." _From the annoying sound of your voice._

"It'll be for you." She said quietly as I took off for the door.

* * *

"Wait up Squall! Hey, uh…" _Like hell I'm going to apologize to you. _"I almost got you in major trouble."

"Forget it."

"Uh…okay…"

"I was already going there when you saw me." _At least you're talking to me. That's a plus. _

"I should have known she would be watching…"

"Whatever." _Why, thanks. I so enjoy your company, too. Ya icicle. _

* * *

I had a little bit of trouble with Rinoa in this chappy. I want to make her bad, and I am…but I don't want Seifer to really hate her yet. So it's difficult. I hope I did alright. Did you like Seifer's sarcastic thoughts? Review! 


	3. Chapter 3

I Promise

Hello again! To _Yoshihara Daisuke_, I would like to thank you for your kind review. Some of you think the chapters are long, some find them short. I guess it depends on how you look at it. I find them a little short sometimes, myself. They vary in lengths. Some are 8 pages or more! But some are also only 4. It depends on how it originally was. And on how much I have to take out, though I try to make up for that by putting more in. Microsoft Works is my beta reader(I take long enough as it is-and then passing this to a beta reader and getting it back would take even longer…I feel so guilty!), and I usually read things over. **If I make any biiiig mistakes, though, please don't hesitate to tell me. And I welcome any ideas any of you might have! Please do review or email them to me!**

* * *

Chapter 3: Unexpected

For the next three months everything was fine! That is, if you define the word "fine" as "shit". Everytime I would walk into a room, everyone would go silent, stare, then whisper. It took a lot of control not to yell at them to shut the hell up. I actually became a SeeD, but I think it's only because Squall was the leader in my group. I felt like an idiot having to do what that shrimp says, but it got me to pass. I think that was the third time I took that test…

ANYWAY!

I think little miss Rinoa was getting more and more pissed off that I didn't sit with her. She asked on a daily basis. The second day at lunch, Squall have avoided his usual table on purpose. Bastard. But eventually he gave up and just let me sit there. _Ha ha, serves you right. Now we just need to get that stick out of your ass, eh?_

"Why don't you sit with me at lunch today?" Rinoa asked yet again.

"Cause I sit with Squall."

That always made her mad. Though I think she tried hard to hide it, which was fine with me.

Our next conversation was not a good one.

"...I'm breaking a lot of rules for you."

"Breaking rules?" I gave her an amused look. "You have no rules to break, princess."

"I've been trying to be nice to you!"

"Oh. So…" I looked up at her from what I was reading at lunch. Weapons Monthly. You have to love staring at all the upgrades you can get. That was one of the few things I could get Squall to talk about. "Being nice to me is breaking rules?"

"Forget it. You don't care."

"Ha ha, you got that right."

"Yeah, sure." She walked away.

"Stupid girl…"

I felt a little bad about it. It seemed like she really was giving it a shot, but it was probably a façade. I was more concerned with Squall and our "bonding" problems. A crush is a bad thing when you can't even get close to the object of your affections. I still hung out with Raijin and Fujin mostly…at least they talked.

* * *

By now I really had a thing for Squall. No doubt about it. No way was I calling it love, though. _Love? Happen to me? I think not._ I tried to hide it and pretend that we were just friends. But I couldn't lie to Squall. He could see right through me. _Friends? Ha, that's a joke. He wouldn't ever consider me that in his life time. So why should I think it? I just want him, that's all. I mean, he has the personality of a wet mop._

Was Rinoa really in love with me?

Maybe. I wasn't sure.

However, I was sure of one thing. I wanted to give some sort of apology to her. _Okay, so I'm not so sure I want to. "Sorry, Rinoa, I'm an ass. I can't help it." Right._

I knocked on her door.

"What do you want?"

"Erm-can I come in?"

She blinked in surprise, but let me in and closed the door behind me. I began my attempt at being nice.

"Okay, look. It's not that I don't want you to be nice or anything-"

She cut me off by pulling me close and kissing me. I was too surprised to do much. It didn't bother me at all…until I really realized who was kissing me. Because in my mind-it was Squall.

"I love you..." she mumbled.

"Erm, look…I don't love you. I don't love anyone." I pulled her hands off me and stepped back. "I don't know what you're trying to do…but I don't want it. Sorry." I ran for my life. I never wanted that to happen again. My heart pounded in my chest and I didn't even see where I was going…

* * *

If I had been paying attention to where I was running, I might not have bumped into him. I thought it was Squall so I just slumped against him in relief. Hesitant hands held onto me.

"What happened? Are you okay?" _That sure as hell doesn't sound like Squall…_

I jumped back, and saw someone I didn't really know. He was blonde with a tattoo on his face. _I don't remember ever seeing this kid…_

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, eyeing him.

"I'm Zell." he said with a cute smile. "You're Seifer, right? Are you okay? What happened to you?"

"Zell?" _He looks like a chicken to me…what stupid hair._

He nodded. "So what's wrong?" For some reason the old me came back. I just wanted to beat the shit out of someone, and this chicken looked as good as anyone.

"I don't need your help you god damn chicken."

"What the hell? You drape yourself on me and then call me names!" Zell got into what I assumed was his fighting stance and he shook with anger.

_I can't fight with this idiot-I can't screw this up._ I just shrugged and walked away. "Chicken-wuss." _Since when does it matter to me if I get kicked out of this garden?_

_Since you liked Squall a little too much,_ the voice said. "Screw you."

* * *

The next day I felt pretty shitty. Physically and mentally. The cut from Squall had left a nice big scar. I liked to tease him about it.

"_Wow, it looks pretty bad, doesn't it?"_

"_Shut up."_

"_Why should I? It's your fault." I tried my hand at a pout._

_He crossed his arms. "So what?"_

"_Well, at least it'll be something for me to remember you by. Hey, you should let me cut you!"_

"_Go to hell, Seifer."_

I smirked at the memory. It was so much easier to get him mad lately. I liked to tell him it was PMS. Then he would hit me. My cheek still has a small bruise. _I wonder if people watching think we're friends…what the hell are we anyway?_

So, I decided to skip Quistis's class to go to the infirmary.

"You know Seifer," said Dr.K, as a guy with a hat walked in. "You're not supposed to be here by yourself."

"Yeah, I know. Raijin was busy and I sure as hell wasn't going to drag Squall here-he'd kill me first-"

"Watch your language. No excuses next time, all right?"

"Yeah."

"An over-sized grat scratched me." The guy with the hat told her and showed how his upper arm was torn open.

"You should be more careful. Make sure your instructor pays more attention, Irvine."

"I will Doc," He winked at me. "Promise." She walked into the back room for supplies.

"I didn't know you went after men, Irvine."

Rinoa was back again. _Greaaaat, the last person I want to see._

The boy shrugged. "Well, you never know."

"What now?" I asked dryly.

She put her arms around me.

"I'm here for you. I heard you were sick."

I pulled away from her octopus arms.

"Well, if that's not a load of bullshit, I don't know what is. And cut that out. It makes me _uncomfortable_ when strange people touch me."

"I wanted to apologize! I'm just sorry for what I did-if it made you not feel well."

"Yeah, right…" _Yes, your taste was so disgusting I almost threw up on that chicken-wuss._

"You never believe me…"

"_That's a good boy. I'll let you off this time Squall. Now go!" _

"_This time?"_

"_Squally knows where he stands."_

"Damn right about that."

* * *

"Why are you late?" Quistis looked like she was ready to rip me apart with her bare hands.

"No need to spazz on me, Quis. I was just in the infirmary."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, I was in the-"

"I heard what you said! Do not speak to me rudely! And you will call me Instructor from now on."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Be seated."

I walked back to my seat and plopped down casually. I heard Squall snicker. I just smirked. _I'll get you at lunch, you icy bastard._

I couldn't get my mind off the stupid guy. Raijin didn't ask any questions this time, either. _Squall, Squall, Squall…what am I going to do about you? _He needed me. _That's a joke. That asshole is all alone and he likes it that way. He doesn't need anyone and he tells it to my face. _But I knew that Rinoa would never understand it...I wanted Squall.


	4. Chapter 4

I Promise

I was originally going to give all the chapters names…but after you write enough stories, you run out of chapter names. x.x Special thanks to _Angels-Obsession _for pointing out that I spelled that word wrong. I didn't catch it because works has some strange entry for "Comity" and I didn't really think about it. Ah well. I'll be sure to spell it right next time! Thanks! And for all those wondering, there will certainly be lemon. Seifer is much too naughty to just hold hands. ((laughs)) Enjoy and review!

**

* * *

Chapter4**

Now, I thought I had it all figured out. I'd tell Squall what I thought and just hope that the stick in his ass wouldn't interfere. "_Squall, we've been…friends for a while now. And I just want you to know-well, you have a very nice ass. I'd like to show you some of the things I'd like to do with it. You can still hate me in the morning, that's okay." Ha, yeah right! He'd hit me so hard I wouldn't be able to see straight for a month. "Squall, let's be fuck buddies!"-I think not. _

"Squall! I've been looking for your grumpy ass. C'mon, I have to talk to you."

He simply nodded and followed me. I was supposed to lead him to my dorm, buuut, we ended up in his instead. All the better.

"Squall...the truth is...I think you're very hot. And I'd like to sleep with you."

I waited for him to hit me or kick my ass out, but his reaction was quite different. He pulled me into his arms and kissed me roughly. This was nothing like when I kissed Rinoa. This was way better. I wanted more from his perfect lips as I slipped my tongue into his mouth to taste him. _I want to take your clothes off…I want…_

Then there was a knock at the door. I could feel Squall's hot shaky breaths as he slowly pulled away. And I woke up from my dream. _NO! I HAD SQUALL! I DID! _But looking around, I was all alone in my dorm. The uncomfortable feeling in my pants certainly thought it was real, though.

"Yeah?" I sounded pretty annoyed, and I was. _Damn you for interrupting the perfect dream!_

"Get off your ass and open the door." _Squall? Have you been sent by Hyne to answer my dreams?_

I yawned and got off the bed, willing my hard-on to go away. _I'm not sure my mental capacity is enough-dammit, Squall, this is all your fault. Can I take it out on you? Okay, okay, shut up, Seifer. Since when Have you been this perverted? Well, okay, a long time, but not like this!_

"Took you long enough." Squall sounded equally annoyed. _What'd I do? _"What the hell have you been doing? The instructor sent me to find you."

"Oh, SHIT! You're kidding, right? This isn't just your lame first attempt at being funny?"

Squall glared at me. "No. It's not my fault you're an idiot."

"Thanks, I'm _so_ reassured now. How much of class is even left?"

"Only 45 minutes."

"Good enough. I'll shower and I'll be right there."

"I can't go back without you."

_That's music to my ears._ "Why's that? Need me to hold your hand?"

He glared again. "No. She told me I better come back with you."

_Okay, maybe it isn't._ "Do you always do what you're told?"

"No! I don't!" He crossed his arms. "Just hurry up already."

"Yes, sir!" I saluted him and took off for my shower. "Make yourself at home!" Despite how I seem, my room stayed fairly clean. Sure, dirty clothes were draped here and there…books were out…but I don't have enough stuff to have a mess with. I closed the door after Prince Icicle sat himself down at my desk.

* * *

I knew my shower had taken more than 10 minutes when I stepped out into my room in a towel, and was greeted by of glaring ice blue eyes.

"There's only 15 minutes left of class."

"Is that so?" I grinned at him and dropped my towel, proceeding to get dressed.

He turned away and mumbled. "You could have warned me, asshole." He sighed loudly in what seemed like an attempt to show me how mad he was. "I thought you said you were going to hurry?"

"I had planned to." _But it's your fault._ I laced up my boots.

"Then follow through with your plans next time."

"Only if you get that stick out of your ass." _Shit. Did I say that out loud?_

Squall crossed his arms again. "I don't have one! Look, I hate you. Plain and simple. I'm not going to be nice to you if I don't have to be."

_You…hate me?_ It hurt, but I had to pretend it didn't._ And why should it? I knew that all along! Just…him saying it makes it more real._ "So you hate everybody, huh?"

He stood as I opened the door. "That's right."

"Well, you let me sit with you, and you talk to me. So I guess that's your definition of 'friend'. Someone you hate, but are willing to try and put up with?"

He glared the floor to pieces as we walked. "I don't have friends, and-"

"And you don't want them. Right."

He glanced up at me, but I fixed my gaze ahead and fortified the serious look with steel.

* * *

"Oh, good. I was about to send out a search. The two of you have detention with me after class. " Quistis smiled sweetly as if she had just given us a compliment.

I groaned and Squall stabbed daggers into me with his eyes.

"You shouldn't try to skip class, ya know."

"I wasn't _trying_ to skip it! I was sleeping!"

He frowned. "Squall was gone for a long time, ya know."

"We were having wild sex." I let myself daydream about it while he stared at me, completely shocked.

* * *

We brought our lunches to the detention and I felt like a little kid. "Who even gives out detentions anymore?"

"She does, obviously."

"Oh, I told Raijin that we had wild sex in my dorm, I hope you don't mind."

Squall's pretty eyes almost popped out of his head and he grabbed the collar of my shirt. It was kind of pointless, since we were sitting.

I laughed anyways. "He said 'I can't believe Squall would like you like that, ya know?' and I said 'Nope, we're just fuck buddies!'"

"You better be kidding."

"Hmm…no, I don't think I am."

Squall growled. "If the instructor wasn't right there, _I'd kill you_."

"Well, since he knows, we might as well make it true, eh?"

"You're disgusting!"

_Is that a hint of a smile I see on your face? A trace of amusement? There may be hope for you yet!_


	5. Chapter 5

I Promise

Heehee…this takes more and more time as I stray further and further from the crappy parts of the original plot. That means I'm writing three stories at the same time…but that's okay. It's almost 6:30. I've stayed up all night and I have to get up in two and a half hours. lol You guys better love me for this! It was going to be short, too. Like, two pages. But I felt like I was cheating you all. So I made it four. Enjoy!

**

* * *

Chapter 5**

I invested a couple bucks in a louder alarm clock. Don't get me wrong, I love being in detention with Squall, but I think he's less pissed at me under normal lunch circumstances. Speaking of that, before lunch I got to patrol with Raijin and Fujin…it was more fun than I thought it'd be. I was supposed to stay around Raijin, but he always let me slip if Squall was around. I didn't really care if he knew I wanted to screw the guy, I just hoped he didn't take it as anything more. Like _love. Who needs love? No one would ever love ME anyway._

As we waltzed into the lunchroom as we finished our rounds(in the ten minutes before the bell), I couldn't help but spot a certain chicken…_it looks like he's begging._

"Hey, Raijin…"

"What's up, ya know?"

"Check out the chicken!"

"CHICKEN?"

"You mean Zell, ya know."

"Yeah, I know! Can I take care of it? He's disturbing the lunch ladies."

Raijin shrugged. "Whatever makes ya happy, ya know? You're one of us, ya know."

"ONE OF US." _Calm down, I can hear you._

_I…am?_ "Thanks, Raij!" I walked up behind the clueless blonde and towered over him with ease. Noticing a shadow had crept over him, he slowly turned around.

"S-Seifer!"

I put a smug smirk on my face that I was sure could intimidate anyone but Squall. "Well, if it ain't chicken-wuss! Looks like you're giving the lunch lady a little trouble asking for more hot dogs."

The lunch lady sighed with relief. "We're a all-a out of them!" _What a weird accent…_

Zell looked at her hopefully. "But-can't you just make-"

"Maybe you didn't hear her, chicken-wuss." I turned him around to face me. "She says she's all out."

"Y-Yeah. I hear her."

"Then shut up-" I turned him in the other direction. "-and GO." I gave him a 'small' push that sent him flying, but he managed not to fall. _Impressive._

"Thank-a you boy. He would not-a leave us alone!"

"Yeah, yeah." _Well, that wasted enough of my time. At least it was amusing. Chicken-wuss didn't fight back, though!_ I yawned and took my seat across from Squall. From the look that crossed his face, I was guessing he hoped I was going to stay away today. _Ha ha, no such luck._ I almost wanted to do something for his grumpy ass, some kind of favor, to get him to like me a little better. _Whoa there, Seifer Almasy does NOT do favors free of charge!_ I thought about it for a moment. _But it WOULDN'T be free of charge! I'd get Squall! If I can conquer our school's little Ice Prince, then there's nothing I can't do! Or, should I say, no one I can't get._ I had given up on pretending I wasn't gay or bi and no longer fighting myself on it. Squall is drop-dead sexy and that's just how it is. My body just knew it better than my head.

But I never stopped to think about the person inside that amazingly hot body. I never wondered why…

"You're actually quiet for once. Did someone hurt your ego or something?" Squall asked in his normal monotone voice that said 'I don't give a shit' while reading his weapons monthly. _But…he wouldn't ask if he didn't give a shit._

"I was thinking, smart ass."

"For once."

_I thought I was supposed to be the one always getting you mad? Since when did the tables turn? "_I think a lot, you're just too stuck in the inner monologues being held in that empty space-" I tapped him on the head. "-to notice."

He calmly smoothed his hair back into place as if I'd messed it up. "Don't touch me."

"You're like a damn girl! All psychotic about your stupid hair!"

"Me?" He finally looked up at me with an unreadable expression before reaching across the table and using his gloved hand(_God forbid you should risk touching me!_)to rake my hair forward-cracking all the gel off. Which, in turn, made my hair almost stand up straight.

I gasped. "What the fuck did you do!"

"Prove that you're the psychotic one."

"Get that god damned stick out of your ass already, princess! I hardly touched your hair!" I fingered the soft spikes, which I could do nothing about for the rest of the day. _I don't carry the gel with me. It usually stays! _"Dammit…you know, that must be one hell of a stick you got up there. You'll need surgery to get that tree trunk out-your asshole will be stretched for life!"

He glared at me and was about to retort when a certain girl in blue decided to stroll on up. Her visits had been less frequent, so I guessed she had been making a plan.

She dropped down next to me and draped her arm around my back, since she wasn't tall enough to do so around my shoulders. "Is that a new look, Seifer? It's hot on you."

I blinked and scooted to the left. "That's nice."

"Are you busy tomorrow? You know, Saturday?" _Sounds like you're trying to set a date. I think I have a test I'm supposed to study for. Sounds better than spending 'quality' time with you._

"Maybe."

She leaned close. _Too close for fucking comfort._ "I'm having a party Saturday night on the docks in town. There will even be alcohol…" She purred. "Want to come?"

_Alcohol? Depends on the rest of my day. I don't give a rat's ass about your drinks if it goes my way. "_I'll think about it." I knew she had something planned, but I wasn't too worried. I could get wasted and still pass for acting like I'd only had two beers.

"Good. See ya there. Of course, you're invited, too, Squally." She winked and went back to her friends.

Squall growled, but went back to his Weapons Monthly. "I hope you're not stupid enough to go. She obviously has something planned."

I shrugged. _Since when do you care? But, hey, I'm not complaining. Caring is good. Veeeeery good. Would you like to come and care in my bed, Squall?_ "It's not like she'll get me wasted and rape me."

Squall seemed to wince at my words and I automatically felt guilty. _What did she do to you?_ I wasn't sure whether to mentally slap myself for wondering or not. It's not like it was my problem-hell, I wasn't supposed to care about anything but his ass. I never cared before. _Something isn't right here_, a little voice whispered. _In my head or in his life? But what the fuck do I care?_

* * *

After lunch, Squall and I walked back to class calmly, though he had said no more since my comment. M_ust have really hit a nerve._

"Hey, grumpy ass."

He rolled his eyes and looked at me. "What?" He didn't even bother to correct me on his name anymore. He never called me by mine, so like hell I was going to give him the satisfaction of hearing his own.

"Let's skip class and do something else."

He studied me for a moment like he had to determine whether I was serious or not. "We can't just do that, idiot. We have a test coming up. Do you want detention again?"

_Do I?_ "What a temping question. Detention with you is quite fun."

"Is everything some kind of damn joke to you?"

I smirked. "Well, now that you mention it…"

He sighed, something he did too often, in my opinion. "Whatever. I don't give a shit what you do."

I glared gunblades into his back while he walked into the room, but I eventually followed. All the while, I had to reassure myself. _I am not on his leash…I am not on his leash…he's on MY leash…yeah…right._

* * *

At the end of the period I packed up my shit with a sigh.

"Hey, hey now! I think you're hanging around Squall too much, ya know?"

I blinked. "…what?"

Raijin imitated me and did a dramatic sigh.

I gave him a dull look, then continued. "Yeah, well, things aren't going my way. And I'll have you know his crabby ass is the cause of it."

"Well, you have this obsession with him, ya know?"

_What? I do not have any obsess-okay, so maybe I do. He'll be mine, dammit!_ "So what?"

"Why is that is what I wanna know, ya know?"

_Geez, it's like you speak in code. And for the record, I want his ass._ "He's just another lost soul that needs my expert help, Raij."

"It looks like you annoy him more than anything else, ya know."

"Yeah, well…that's all just part of the healing process."

* * *

How was it? Not too bad, I hope. Review!


	6. Chapter 6

I Promise

Hello all! Thanks so much for your reviews! I'm glad you're liking it so far. I didn't want to make Seifer suffer Rinoa's party either, but, as _Shizuka-Yuki _pointed out, where would the fun be if he didn't? I do switch points of view in later chapters...at some point in time...I think...I don't know. lol I included the song Scars by Papa Roach in here, I hope no one minds. It popped up on my play list and I just thought it fit kinda well. Ahem, well, with no further ado, Seifer getting drunk and playing with Squ-I mean, Chapter 6!

**

* * *

Chapter 6**

I figured my day sucked as it was, so instead of eating my dinner with Squall(they live in dorms there so it makes sense that they'd serve breakfast, lunch, and dinner, right?) I decided to take it back to my dorm. I was just about to escape with my food, when I was tapped on the shoulder.

I turned around. "What the hell now-" And came face to face with Squall.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I eyed him suspiciously. "Somewhere else. What do you care?" _Would you…miss me?_

"I don't. You keep forgetting to stay after class on Friday's. The Instructors do mail call." _…I guess not._

I sighed. "And that's supposed to mean _what _to me? Look, princess, I don't get any-" Squall held up a white envelope addressed to me. "…mail." I jerked it out of his hand. "What kind of joke is this?"

"It's from your family, obviously."

The return address told me it did indeed come from home. Robert Almasy. _Fuck you, dad._ I shoved it back at Squall. "Throw it away."

"What?" For once, he actually looked slightly shocked, but he quickly covered it with a look of annoyance.

"You heard me, princess. Throw it away! Eat it! Use it to stuff your bra! I don't care!" I quickly dodged a punch he threw at me.

"Fuck you." But he did indeed walk off with it, and that was fine with me.

* * *

Not long after I had started eating in my small chair, something was stuffed under my door and I heard the messenger walk away. Upon closer inspection, I found it to be the same letter Squall had offered me earlier. It must have been him. "Tricky bastard…" Losing my appetite, I ripped open the stupid letter, just to see.

_Dearest Son - Your mother and I have been getting nothing but good reports from Balamb Garden and we'd like to invite you to come visit for a few weeks this summer. The ticket is enclosed. Your brother Xain is doing wonderful at his Garden and we are very proud of him, as you should be. Perhaps you could bring Hyperion and you could practice with your brother-I wouldn't be surprised if he could win! We look forward to seeing you. -Robert Almasy_

"What a fucking joke." _She's NOT my mom. She's my step mother. Mom never would have shipped me around like you two have. And that's my STEP brother, too. We're not a fucking family, dammit! _I ripped up the ticket and threw the whole thing away. "I don't want anything to do with you." _Suddenly, some alcohol sounds really good._

* * *

Squall wasn't at lunch the next day and I had slept in too long to get any breakfast. _I guess he's still hurt over my bra comment…_ I still sat in our usual place, although it was lonely now. Everyday I was getting more and more irritated by Mr. Antisocial. I could get him to talk-and so what? _That's not nearly enough. Maybe I should get him drunk…I don't think he'd be stupid enough, though._

"Seifer."

I looked up and- "Well, surprise, surprise. If it ain't chicken-wuss."

He frowned. "Don't call me that! I have a message from Squall."

_A…message? I tried to look amused. "And what's that?"_

"He says…" Zell thought for a moment. "He has to go to the dentist for an annual cleaning…"

"You mean an anal cleaning. It's not like he can wipe his own ass with that stick in there." Zell rolled his eyes at me, but ignored it.

"So he doesn't want you to think he's scared of you or something stupid like that…and that he'll flatten your ego when he gets back."

I snickered. "Well, he can save it. I won't be here. So you can go ahead and give him this, messenger boy." I took out a paper and pen, scribbled down a few words and gave it to Zell after folding it.

He huffed. "I'm NOT a messenger boy." But he took it anyway. After he left, I dropped my defense with a sigh, and ate my food.

I almost spit it out, too. "Ugh, what the hell is this stuff?"

* * *

The sun was setting in Balamb as I wandered through the streets towards the docks. _Screw Rinoa, I'm just going for the drinks. That doesn't mean I can't tease her, though._ Under my normal gray coat, I wore tight black leather. _I can't even remember where I bought it…oh well!_

I didn't know Squall had saved up enough to upgrade his gunblade. Didn't know that he had stayed in town to grab himself some good food. I didn't know he had seen me.

"You made it!" Rinoa hugged me, and I peeled her off.

"Yeah. And I'm thirsty." There were a lot more people than I thought there'd be-especially more guys. Not that it mattered. The radio blasted and people danced while drinking like crazy. _Looks good._

"Then you're just in time! I was about to start a little game…"

I gave her a bored look. "A game?"

"A drinking game." _Oh. Well, those are always good._

"Attention everyone! I'm ready to start the game, now that the last guest has arrived!" There were cheers and they all started sitting at a huge round table that had been set up. _Her rich daddy must have paid for it all._ She sat them in a strange order. It was always guy-guy-girl-girl. _What's that for?_ It made it so each person was stuck between a person of the same sex, and a person of the opposite sex. I was put between her(big surprise) on my right, and some other guy on my left.

"Now, the rules to this game are very simple. You the role the dice and whatever number you get has corresponding instructions on this sheet. You each start with a bottle of different kinds." Some servant-looking guy started giving us all our drinks and a glass. I got a big bottle of Jack Daniels. _Sweet._ "The last person sober enough to stay in the game wins. I'll go first." Rinoa smiled sweetly and rolled the dice. "Five." She looked down at her sheet. "Everyone, pass your bottle to the right." _No! My Jack Daniels! _I ended up with some green bottle instead. "We'll go left." She handed me the dice while touching me as much as possible. I faintly remembered the song I could hear in the background.

_I tear my heart open_

_I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is_

_That I care too much_

_And my scars remind me_

_That the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel…_

_I wonder what Squall's doing right now…shit, why do I care? I don't! I don't give a rat's ass. It's not like he's thinking about ME. Who the fuck would want to?_ I rolled the dice and got snake eyes. She looked disappointed for a moment, but smiled again. "You get a glass of your choice." I took my Jack Daniels back and poured myself a glass, downing it quickly. I passed the dice to my left and he rolled.

"Six."

Rinoa almost looked horrified, but turned it into a stupid grin. "Finally someone got one of the kiss ones!" _kiss whats?_ "Kiss the person on your right."

"W-What?" The boy looked at her. "But…"

She smiled. "I set it up this way on purpose. How exciting would it be if it was only opposite sex kisses?"

He looked up at me nervously. Being in the mode of 'I don't give a fuck.', I grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him roughly. He was surprised, but I even got to use a little tongue. _If he wasn't gay before, he probably is now. _The thought made me grin.

_I'm drunk and I'm feeling down_

_And I just wanna be alone_

_I'm pissed cause you came around_

_Why don't you just go home?_

_Cause you channeled all your pain_

_And I can't help you fix yourself_

_You're making me insane_

_All I can say is…_

_If it wasn't for your grumpy ass, I wouldn't be here, Squall. If you would just let me in…ha, who am I kidding?_ We went around several times, but thankfully, I had yet to have to kiss Rinoa. I'd had lots of drinks, though. Once I even got 12 and had to drink half a bottle. The guy on my left got to kiss me about two more times and had eventually slipped me his phone number. It made me laugh.

It was Rinoa's turn again. "I got doubles!" She seemed really excited. "That means I get to choose anything on the list." She wrapped her arms around me. "And I want to kiss you." I knew she wanted a make-out session, but I just give her a small, quick kiss and pulled away. She pouted, but there was nothing she could do about it.

_I tear my heart open_

_I sew myself shut_

_And my weakness is_

_That I care too much_

_And the scars remind us_

_That the past is real_

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel…_

_But I care too much now. Maybe I want something more from you…I want…I want someone to just fucking care! But you would never do that…would you?_ I rolled. "8." _I hope I can drink more…_

"Kiss a person of your choice."

_Shit…_ "What if…that person isn't here?"

She shrugged. "You have to kiss someone."

I looked to the guy on my left and he smiled at me. I pulled him in for another kiss. _Too bad you're not my type._

_I tried to help you once_

_Against my own advice_

_I saw you going down_

_But you never realized_

_That you're drowning in the water_

_So I offered you my hand_

_Compassion's in my nature_

_Tonight is our last stand…_

_I sure as hell can't change how you are, Squall. And, well…you seem happy like that. I don't need you. I don't need anyone._ It didn't take long for half the wusses to drop out. Rinoa could hold her own surprisingly well, but I wasn't going to lose to her. "12." _Shit! Another half bottle! I can handle it._ I continued to act like I'd only had two beers, but my vision was getting blurry.

_I'm drunk and I'm feeling down  
And I just wanna be alone  
You shouldn't ever come around  
Why don't you just go home?  
Cause you're drowning in the water  
And I tried to grab your hand  
I left my heart open  
But you didn't understand  
But you didn't understand  
Go fix yourself…  
_

_I wonder what Squall'll think when he gets my little note. It said: "Hey Squall, sorry, but I won't be back later. Fuck you." I can't see what number that is…_ "What number is that?"

She grinned, looking completely wasted. "It looks like a six to me."

"No it isn't…it's a seven. Ya just want me to kiss yer stupid face."

"You could kiss a different part of me." She purred.

"That's nasty. Yer so shit faced, ya should just give up." _Then I won't have to worry about anything._

"No way! Because if I win…" She went to a whisper. "I think I'll bring you to my house."

"Like ya'll win." I pulled the dice close and had a better look at them. "It's an 8!"

She smiled. "We're the only ones left, so you have to kiss me!"

"What the hell are you doing, Seifer?" I turned around, looking for the face to match the pissy voice. There was a blur of black, white and brown behind me.

"Squall?" It came out slurred.

"You're wasted. You idiot, I told you not to come here." _Where you watching the whole time…?_

"Hey, I get to kiss the guy of my choice!" I jumped up a bit too fast, and fell into Squall, who, for being so small, held me up pretty well. I pressed my lips to his and he pushed me away, leaving me to land on my ass. "Ow…that hurt ya bastard."

"You taste disgusting!"

_I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life…  
I can't help you fix yourself  
But at least I can say I tried  
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life…_

"And you look ridiculous." _**I **look ridiculous?_

"Yer one to talk! Ya have those sexy leather pants on all the time!" I pointed at his crotch and he looked like he was getting a headache.

"You're ruining my party, Squall!" She didn't get up from her chair, though.

"Do you think I care? I have to help this asshole study tomorrow and I'm sick of your bullshit anyway." He had a hard time, but helped me up. "_Don't_ try to kiss me again or I'll knock you out and leave you here."

"Yeah, yeah. I got it."

"You'll be sorry for this Squall!"

"Whatever."

* * *

He dumped me in my dorm and started to leave. _No goodbye?_

"Wait!"

He looked back at me, but, surprisingly, he didn't look too annoyed. "What?"

I wanted to ask…_does this mean you care?_

But it came out as: "You want to stay here tonight?"

"No!" He stomped off.

"Ok, ok, ok." I sighed and flopped onto my bed. _I guess by morning you'll think I only wanted you because I was drunk…I wish it was that simple._

* * *

Our first bit of SquallxSeifer action! There will be more soon, I promise. This chapter was longer, I hope. Review, review!


	7. Chapter 7

I Promise

Sorry it took a while to update. Personal crap keeps getting in the way. Plus it's hard to write when you're in a bad mood-though this was easier than my happy fics. BUT, I'll work on updating more. x.x I had a little trouble with this chapter, let me know what you think!

**

* * *

Chapter 7**

One day, not much later, Rinoa was no where to be seen. I hoped she had gotten a horrible disease and would die any day now. It was nice not to have an extra pair of eyes watching me-not that Squall ever watched. He was always reading or magically preoccupied with his food like it was actually good or something.

_Now that's disturbing._

Raij and Fuj didn't know anything about it, so…where'd she go? _Ah, who cares? Anywhere's better than here._

* * *

After-hours, when all the kiddies were asleep, someone knocked on my door. "Nuuuh…I'm coming…" _Damn you…that's the second time a good dream of Squall was interrupted._

I lazily crawled over to the door in my boxers and opened it. Rinoa stood there in all her dubious glory.

"Go the fuck away! I'm trying to sleep!"

I tried to close the door,while she tried to hold it open. Not that her strength was any match for me, but I don't need to get sued for crushing her. "Wait! Seifer, I just need a second!"

"One."

"Not funny Seifer."

"I wasn't laughing."

"Are you okay?"

"If it's THAT important, then hurry up and tell me already!"

She smiled innocently. "Know where I went today?"

I was getting irritated with her games already. "How the fuck am I supposed to know?"

"I went to all your old Gardens."

_You better be joking._

I tried to stay calm. "And why did you do that?"

"To see how much you've been lying to us."

_Lying? I've lied about something?_ "Us?"

"This Garden and everyone in it."

I could feel the sweat on my forehead. "And what would I be lying about?"

"Well, maybe not lying…but keeping from us. Your past offenses. The students have a right to know."

Now I was panicking. _Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm…_

_Does she know the truth?_

_No way. Impossible!_

"Oh, right Rinoa. They would just, like, _hand _you the information." I rolled my eyes.

"Actually, yes. All I had to do is say that Cid sent me to find out all the details. They told me." _Why is she trying to talk all sophisticated suddenly?_

"_Everything_!"

"Yes. All of it. And I know your secret Seifer."

"No..." _No! I don't believe it! You don't fucking know anything! Not anything!_

_I'm not scared…_

_She knows. What does she plan to do with me?_

"Oh, yes...And...I'm willing not to tell Squall and all of Garden if..." _Why'd she mention Squall separately? She can't know that I like him..._

"If what?"

"If you tell Squall off and date me from now on."

"You psychotic bitch! That's blackmail!"

"I know, and I _will _tell. Besides, you said you love me...remember?"

_No, I don't fucking remember! What the hell am I going to do?_

* * *

"What the hell...? Who is it?"

"Seifer."

"Okay...just give me a minute."

I sighed. _What am I supposed to say? "Squall, I have no interest in being your friend anymore."? Well, shit, we were probably never friends to begin with. _When he let me in, I noticed he had changed into faded baggy jeans and a baggy, _open_, button-up shirt. _Shit, he looks delicious-no! Bad thought, bad thought…_

I sighed again and he stared at me.

"What's your problem?"

"Look, I…" _"You better insult him, Seifer. Hurt him. You're the only friend he's ever been dumb enough to have." _"I'm not going to waste my time sitting with your grumpy ass anymore." _Rinoa…I hate you! Sqall doesn't deserve this..._

His head snapped up and he stared at me, eyes wide. I'd never seen him so shocked before. "What?"

"You heard me."

"I thought…"

"Well, you thought wrong. Now that Rinoa cares about me, I don't care about you."

"..." he turned away. _Dammit…FUCK. I deserve to die. I can't believe I'm doing this. How weak am I?_

_What have I done? And for what? To save my own ass? I can't believe my stupidity._

_Is he going to cry?_

_Almost?_

_He doesn't cry. Squall Leonhart doesn't cry. Ever. But that doesn't mean he isn't sad. But why would he care about me? He doesn't, right?_

"Get out, Almasy."

"W-What?"

"You heard me! I said get the fuck out!" He shoved me out and slammed his door.

Rinoa was right behind that door out in the hall.

"Happy now you psycho bitch?"

_I'm going to kill you Rinoa…nobody plays Seifer Almasy and gets away with it._

"Hey! Where do you think _you're_ going?"

"I'm going to _bed_ princess bitch."

"Come to my room instead."

"Go to hell."

She crossed her arms. "Then at least give me my kiss goodnight."

"You said I had to date you, not kiss you! I almost barfed the first time, you wouldn't want me to puke all over your clothes, would you?"

"Oh, no Seifer. Dating is a package. You have to do the whatever I want anyway."

"You're disgusting."

"And you won't say that to me that anymore...that is, unless you want everyone to know."

"I hate you."

"And you can't say that either."

"Well, then. Why don't you make me a vocabulary list?"

"Very funny. You better now screw up, Seifer. If you do, it'll be your funeral."

I gritted my teeth, "Fine."

_I'm so weak…_

* * *

The next few days were hell. Every time I looked Squall's way he'd look back. And every time…I could see hurt, but then either he'd look away or Rinoa would make me kiss her. _I'm so sick of this bullshit…_

"Rin, you are like, SO lucky to have a loyal boyfriend like that!" _I'll stab her in the back the first chance I get._

"Oh, yeah. He'll do whatever I tell him to." She smiles at me sweetly and I tried not to puke.

It wasn't long before Zell strolled up. Not that I saw it coming.

"Yo, Seifer. Why are you with that bitch?"

"Don't call her that, Chicken-wuss."

"The hell? Don't you even care how much you hurt Sq-"

"No."

"What has that bitch done to you!"

"I said, don't call her that."

"You better not call me that." She and her friends looked over at Zell angrily. He backed up a few steps like there was something to be afraid of.

Rinoa kissed me too, slipping in her tongue for a brief moment.

_Don't puke, don't puke, don't think about it and you won't puke…BITE HER TONGUE OFF DAMMIT!_

"And if you call me anything else, you'll regret it c-" she laughed. "Finish it for me."

"Chicken-wuss."

Zell gave me this strange look…was it hurt? But he left fairly quickly.

"I need to get some notes from Raijin." _Anything to get me away from you._

"Okay, honey, but hurry back." _Fuck you._

* * *

"I can't believe you're with her, ya know?"

"IMPOSSIBLE."

"No fucking choice."

"WHAT!" They both said.

I didn't get to say anything, though. Irvine the womanizer showed up. _Oh, wait…I'm one of those, too, aren't I…?_

"I was just talking to Zell…what the hell's the matter with you?"

"What is he, your boyfriend?" I sighed and banged my head against the table. "Just…kill me now."

"Huh?"

"Well, Irvine. What are you up to?"

Rinoa strikes again. I groaned. _Shoot me, Irvine. Please?_

"Finding out what you did to him. Even Seifer isn't this much of an asshole." _Gee, thanks._

"It's all his own choice. Right, Seify?"

I nodded. _The fuck! "Seify"?_

"Don't you even care about what you did to Squ-"

"So?" _They all mention Squall…am I missing something here?_

"Seifer, you little-"

"Do I have to remove you from the cafeteria?" _I hate being like this…_

"..." He left silently with a look on his face much like Zell..._I just can't believe what she's making me do._

"Well!" Rinoa smiled. "You're doing fantastic!" Then she laughed like it was some private joke we shared. Raijin and Fujin stared, but said nothing. It was better that way, so that I wouldn't have to hurt them, too.

I cringed at the sound of her high-pitched laugh.

She pulled me into her arms and kissed me again, making it more like a mini-make-out session in front of my friends…and the rest of the people in the café.

_I can't fucking take this much longer…_


	8. Chapter 8

I Promise

Big thanks to ALL my reviewers, especially _Lilitha_ for rating this fic a 12 out of 10(is it really that good? Wow. Heehee) and _Matron Raenee _because your reviews just make me laugh or at least put a smile on my face. Especially when you called Seifer a "big blonde tard". XD You all give me loads of inspiration and happiness! I love you all!

**

* * *

Chapter8**

A few more days passed…and I had come up with a plan. It was cheap and would leave me looking like a complete asshole, but anything's better than being around Rinoa. To hell if I would ever admit it to anyone, but…I really missed my friends-even grumpy ass Squall. He didn't sit alone anymore either. Irvine and Zell easily took up my place. He seemed to loathe them just as much as me, too. _Am I…so easily replaced? I guess you really don't care about anyone…or me._ I sighed. _Since when do I give a fuck if he cares? I like his body-that's IT. But…that's not it anymore, is it? Shit…is this that **love **people talk about? _

* * *

The first class period went by too slowly for my taste. _I just want to get this over and done with!_ _But, apparently, time isn't taking requests today. _Quistis' voice seemed to drone on forever on the same topics. She told me to pay attention several times, but I just…quit. I had too much on my mind and not enough space for it all.

"Seifer! For the millionth time, pay attention!"

I rolled my eyes. "I AM!"

"Oh, then would you like to demonstrate for the class what we've been talking about?" She crossed her arms.

_Oh shit…_ I took a quick look down at Raijin's notes and I was saved. "How do you expect me to demonstrate my GFs? Blow a hole in the wall?"

She smiled. "So you are paying attention. Very good." She turned away and continued on. _So…what was that all about?_

* * *

At last lunch time had come. I was a little afraid but no way was I going to show it. _Seifer Almasy doesn't have any weaknesses, Seifer Almasy doesn't have any weaknesses…_

I cautiously stood up on the table. "'EY! LISTEN UP!"

The kids looked at me, then went back to eating their food. _Well, shit, if I didn't have anyone's respect before…thanks a bunch, princess bitch._

"The hell are you doing!" Rinoa whispered up to me. _You look angry…good._

"Something I should have done days ago." I looked around, then yelled again. "DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!"

They looked up again, and this time continued looking. I even seemed to have Squall's attention, which is what I wanted the most. _No turning back now…I'm not..afraid of anything…_

"Look, something was kept from you guys that shouldn't have been…and I want to explain."

They all waited quietly for my explanation…_no, excuse. I have no reason for treating everyone like that. It's so…cowardly. I hate myself._

"I failed my SeeD exams three times at three different gardens, I eat my Ramen without chewing the noodles, and I got someone killed on a SeeD examination mission. Rinoa found out and blackmailed me, but I don't give a shit anymore."

The whole room stared at me and it became even more silent, if that's possible. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL STARING AT? THAT'S ALL! NOW EAT YOUR DAMN FOOD!"

_Okay, now I need to get out of here as soon as possible. Forget this place…I'll go get a job._ I started to drop down from the table top, but instead, I was pulled down by a furious Rinoa and I fell-hitting my head on the table next to ours.

"Ow! Fuck!" _My vision's blurry…_ I gently reached a hand up and touched the back of my head. _Wet…?_ I pulled my hand back and stared at a blur of red. _Blood…? My blood? _

"Now what are you gonna do Seifer?"

_What did she say…? I can't hear her…is it a her? Rinoa?_ "I…"

"You have no where to run, and no one to hide behind."

"Neither do you…."

"That was a dumb thing for you to do. We could have been happy."

"S'was the right thing…ta do…"

"But was it worth it?"

_Worth…it…? Worth…what?_ Before I could question it further, I slipped into darkness.

* * *

I woke up in the infirmary. I guess they were prepared to treat everything, not just small scrapes and cuts. Luckily for me, the lights were dimmed-otherwise I would have been blinded.

"Are you awake…?" _Squall? His voice sounds so calm and gentle…_

"Y-Yeah…" I coughed a little-my voice sounded raspy and unused. _Shit, my head hurts..._"How long have I been out…?"

"Three days."

I blinked. "Wha?"

"You idiot. I heard you outside my door that day, you know." He crossed his arms.

_"Happy now you psycho bitch?"_

_"Hey! Where do you think you're going?"_

_"I'm going to bed princess bitch."_

_"Come to my room instead."_

_"Go to hell."_

_"Then at least give me my kiss goodnight."_

_"You said I had to date you, not kiss you! I almost barfed the first time, you wouldn't want me to puke all over your clothes, would you?"_

"You heard that?" The thought suddenly pissed me off. "And you didn't help me! You fucking-"

"Shut up. I wanted to see how long it'd take your lying ass to tell the truth."

"Yeah, well, now you know the truth. I did it all to save my sorry, pathetic ass. Knowing that doesn't do fuck for you, so I don't know why you're even here."

"If you're going to be like this, I'm not going to waste my time."

"If it's a waste of your time, then you shouldn't be here anyway."

"Yet I am."

I growled. "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're my friend you fucking moron!"

I blinked. "…say that again? I must be hearing things…"

Squall frowned even more, basically a scowl with a combined death glare. "Fuck you."

_Well, I love you, too, princess._

_But at least…you said it-and meant it. I know it must have killed you, too. Even though I want more…how could I ever make myself ask for it?_

"Rinoa isn't getting expelled or anything."

_Way to ruin the moment._

"How wonderful for her." I paused. "Maybe she'll leave me alone now…"

"No she won't."

_You're right. As long as Rinoa's around, there's going to be trouble._

"Hey…what did she ever do to you, anyway?"

Squall frowned again, and turned towards the door. "…let's just say she fucked with me and left me to die." He walked out, never looking back. _I want to call to him…to say something…to ask…_

But it was no use…he was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

I Promise

Thanks for all your reviews and patience! I really appreciate it! You're all very right, calling Seifer his friend is one BIG step in the right direction! That direction being lemon. Heehee. And now we'll take one more. Maybe. You'll see!

**

* * *

Chapter 9**

I was released from the infirmary a day after I had woken up. First thing after it happened, Cid dragged me to his office.

"Alright, Seifer, now why don't you explain to me how this little accident happened, hm?" _Yeah, I get it. You don't have to talk to me like I'm 12._

"Rinoa pulled me down and I hit my head."

"Rinoa, you say? And where did she pull you down from?"

"The table."

"The table?"

"That's right."

"I see…" _I will not jump up and hit him…I will NOT…it didn't go over very well at my first Garden…I don't want…I can't get kicked out of Balamb! _"And what were you doing on the table?"

_What are you? A fucking shrink?_ "I was explaining something to the people in the room."

"To everyone? And what did you tell them?"

I sighed. _Damn, this is getting annoying._ "I told them why Rinoa was blackmailing me."

"Blackmailing you? A fine student like that? I'm sorry, Seifer, but I'll have to believe her word over yours."

"WHAT!"

"She says she asked you to come down and you fell."

I gaped. "How can you believe something so stupid? I'm not a klutz! Even ask anyone there!"

He smiled kindly, but I knew better. "They all said exactly what she said." He paused. "Except for Squall, Zell, and Irvine. They told me what you just have. However, seeing as they are your friends, I can't believe them."

"I can't believe this…"

He stood and looked out his window. "As you know, Seifer, I cannot have incidents like this at Balamb Garden. It gives this place a bad name. From the files Rinoa kindly gave me, it seems you did indeed get a student killed on a practice SeeD mission while you were the captain of your team…" He looked down at the papers in his hand. "A miss Starin, Rei. Had I known, I would not have been able to accept you into this school." _What are you getting at, old man?_ He smiled again when he turned to face me. "However, I am not so terrible as to kick you out when you seem to be doing well here. So, consider this a friendly warning to be more careful. You may return to your duties now."

As soon as his office door closed behind me, I sighed. _At least I'm not really in trouble. I'm sorry, Rei…Can my day get any worse?_

I got too lost in my thoughts as I wandered down the main hall, towards my dorm. I'd need to collect my things before I could go to class. Passing the main desk, however, I was stopped.

"Seifer! Seifer Almasy!"

"Huh?"

The brunette behind the large wooden desk smiled at me. "You have some visitors. I told them your dorm number and for them to wait there. I hope that's alright."

_Visitors? Like….who?_ "Yeah…that's fine." _Who? Who? WHO!_ It drove me crazy the whole way there._ Who would visit me? I don't know anyone…except maybe…nah. No way. They wouldn't waste their time._ I turned the corner._ I haven't seen them in three years, and frankly, I don't think they give a-_ I stopped mid step when I noticed them. Three people at the end of the hallway, outside my room. A overly-built blonde with his hair in a pony tail that was taller than me, a small woman with tanned skin, black hair and soft brown eyes, and a kid almost my height with black hair and pale skin. My "family". My father has the same green eyes as I do, and so does his kid. I look related to his kid and that's what pisses me off.

"Well, Seifer! There you are! C'mon, son, let's have a seat and talk."

_My day just got worse._

* * *

I hesitantly approached them and let them inside. Luckily, I had cleaned up before my 'accident'. Not that there was much room in there anyways.

As soon as the door was closed, my father spoke, but no one sat down. "You know, you were supposed to arrive home several days ago."

_Oh shit, I was? Is that what this is about? But why do they actually care? Okay, okay, play it cool-BE cool._ I put on a smug smirk. "Yeah, I know."

Before I could even think about it, I was doubled over from a blow to my stomach from my "dad".

"When your mother and I are actually not ashamed of you long enough to INVITE you somewhere, you better damn well come!"

I stood up straight. "She's not my god damned mother!" _Mom would never let you do this to me! That's why…she died._

I was on the floor again, and I stood back up as quickly as I could manage.

"Don't talk back to ME!"

Xain took a step forward. "Let me do it, dad! Let me do it!"

I suppressed a sigh. _And I can't fight back or I'll be in even deeper trouble…_

My back smashed into the door behind me and I slid to the floor.

"Xain! You're not supposed to hit him where people can see!" I could feel blood run down my chin.

"Sorry, dad." So, instead, he kicked me while I was down there. Over and over and over and over and…

_Knock knock._

Robert frowned. "What is it? We're busy here!"

A cold voice came though the door, but the sound was so soothing and gentle to my ears… "Seifer needs to be in class-his instructor is asking for him."

"Sq…Squall…?" I whispered his name and received another kick.

"We're discussing important family business in here! We'll send him out when we leave!"

"…alright." I could just barely hear the tap of his boots as he walked away from the door.

_No…Squall…come back! Don't leave me here! Don't…leave…_

"A young lady was nice enough to tell us you wouldn't open your mail from us. Now…the next time we're nice enough to invite your disgusting, pathetic face somewhere, you'll come, won't you?"

_Rinoa…? Was she listening when I yelled at Squall to keep the mail?_

Another kick.

"Y-Yes…"

"What was that?"

Another kick, right in my ribs.

"Y-Yes, sir…"

"Good. You better not tell anyone. Let's go." They stepped over me and exited the room so casually, even closing the door behind them. _I'm sure they'll smile and introduce themselves to everyone they meet…and they'll all think 'wow, Seifer has such nice parents!'…_

I laid there, unmoving, until the door began to open again. I jumped up and backed into the nearest corner.

"Seifer…?" _You called me by my name…_

"S-Squall?" _I sound so pathetic…I am pathetic. I've been beaten before…_

Said boy looked around until his eyes fell on me. They widened and he gaped. "What the hell happened to you?"

"None of your fucking business!" _Shit-reflex…_

"Well, _forgive me_ for trying to give a damn!"

_You're my friend…aren't you? Now you're actually trying to show it and-I'M SUCH A SCREW UP!_

"I didn't mean it-"

His scowl lightened to a frown. "Just shut the hell up and show me."

I blinked. "Show you what?"

Squall sighed as if he was trying to explain something to a small child and running out of patience. "Idiot." He came closer and pulled my jacket from my shoulders. He was surprisingly gentle.

I mock-gasped. "You can't mean-right now? I don't know if I'm ready yet!"

He smacked me on the head. "Shut the hell up you damn pervert!"

I thought there was a slight blush to his cheeks now, but I couldn't tell because the light smack was enough to make me a little dizzy. "oww…" _Nah, Squall doesn't blush._

Squall gave me a questioning look. "That shouldn't have hurt you."

I growled. "You try getting smacked around for a while."

"So they _did _do this to you?"

"Why thank you, Captain Obvious. YES THEY FUCKING DID THIS TO ME!"

Squall rolled his eyes and tried to peel off my shirt, but he couldn't seem to hold my arms up and get it off at the same time.

"You know, my arms can hold themselves up if you say pretty please."

He growled this time. "Fuck you! Do you want my help or not?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." I held my arms up. _I know it means nothing to you…but to me, your touch is everything._

"That's disgusting."

I jumped and for a moment I panicked as if he had heard my thoughts. But he was staring at all the bruises covering my torso. I suddenly felt so ashamed. _Don't look anymore…_

"Lay down."

I blinked. "What?"

He sighed. "I said, lay down."

"Squall, are you really gonna-"

"SHUT UP! It's just harder to heal you when you're all slumped over!"

"Ooooooh, I see." _Damn. _He helped me over to my bed and I laid down. After a second he put his hands on my chest. Although it hurt like hell, it was the closest I'd ever been to heaven. His cool skin quickly warmed and even became slightly hot as he healed me with a curaga.

The heat disappeared and I felt brand new. After a moment he took his hands away and sighed. "Let's go eat, okay?"

_No! I want to pull you down onto the bed and show my thanks!_ "Okay." _Dammit._

* * *

Well, as you can all see, there's a lot more to Sifer's past than just his mom died and his dad got remarried or that he just got someone killed. It's pretty complex, but it'll unfold and you'll all understand, i promise! ((laughs)) Seifer is so perverted. Review! 


	10. Chapter 10

I Promise

Heehee…now most of you are ready to kill Rinoa AND Seifer's family. This is promising! **Notice his dear step mommy hasn't done anything yet?** There's more to her, you'll see! Mwaha! Ha ha, Lyss, I didn't spill the secrets to Seifer's past to you yet. You can suffer the wait with everyone else! Na! ((sticks tongue out)) **Also, perhaps some of you are wondering how they got the identical scars if they'd never met until this point?** Heehee...lots of surprises to come!

**

* * *

Chapter 10 **

After receiving the salty looking…something-or-other from the lunch ladies, Squall and I plopped down to eat. _I wonder if you feel as stressed as I look. Squall Lionhart-number one stone face with a permanent stick up his ass._

"What are you staring at?"

I blinked. "Heh, nothing."

He frowned. "Yeah, right."

Then all was silent as usual. Amazingly, he was the one to break it today.

"Hey…why did they do it?"

I frowned, myself, and stared out the window, into the rain. "You remember that mail you had me read?" I waited and saw him nod out of the corner of my eye. "Yeah, well, it was an invitation to go home for a couple weeks."

Squall looked confused. "Why didn't you just take it?"

"Ha! Getting beaten once and staying here is better than going home and getting it every time they think I look at them wrong."

"Then fight them back!"

"And get in more trouble? No thanks." I tried to get on a different subject. "Forget about it. Anyway, since you know one of my little secrets, why don't you tell me one of yours?"

He seemed a little angry for the change of subject-or just for me writing it off like it was nothing. "Like what?"

I gave him a dubious look. "How the hell should I know what secrets you have? Tell me about Rinoa or something."

He twitched. _Uh oh, I hit a nerve…_ "There isn't much to it."

I shrugged. "It's still something I don't know."

Squall was the one staring out the window now. Since he wasn't watching me, I took it as a chance to stare at him-without being yelled at- while I listened to his story.

"She came to Garden maybe about a year ago, and the first person she decided to prey upon was me. I didn't know any better, so eventually I gave up and let her in. I figured it wouldn't matter…but it did. She always knew what to say and what to do…and as far back as I can remember, those were the only times I'd smile in public…or laugh. She did…" he paused and sighed. "She did a lot of things. Point is, she eventually told me it was all a lie and that she never cared about me to begin with. And when I think about it, it's probably true."

_That's pretty depressing._ "Wow…I think that's the most you've ever said to me."

Squall growled at me. "That's all you've got to say?"

"Well, there is one thing I wanna know…"

He quirked a brow and waited.

"…did you get this grumpy AFTER what she did, or were you born like that?"

_WHACK!_

I almost fell off my chair from the punch, and I rubbed my sore cheek. "Owww…that's not very nice…"

"Neither are you."

On the one hand, I wanted to tell him he needed a sense of humor. On the other hand, I knew he already had one-it was just different and rather closed off. "Hey, just cause I speak my mind…"

"I'm sure you'd hit me if I spoke my mind, too."

I gaped at him. "Heeey, I thought we were friends!"

"Sadly." He glanced up at me and offered the tiniest smirk.

"…_and as far back as I can remember, those were the only times I'd smile in public…or laugh."_

_Well, well. Maybe we're getting somewhere after all._

* * *

As my thoughts drifted during the second half of class for the day, I couldn't help but feel like I was ignoring Raijin and Fujin. So, I invited them to sit with me and Squall at dinner. Couldn't hurt, right? Unfortunately, Quistis decided she wanted to talk to me after class, and to hell if they'd wait for me. _Poor Squall…I can see it now. They'll talk his ear off and he'll kill me on sight with those knives he's got for eyes._

"Seifer."

"Yes, instructor. At your service."

She quirked a brow. "I don't need your attitude, thank you very much. I wanted to know why you missed my class this morning."

I shrugged. "I had some unexpected visitors."

"Visitors? Who?"

"…family." _I hate using that word._

"Oh, I see. They must have come all this way to see how you were doing after your accident, right?"

_More like to cause another 'accident'._ "…right."

"That's very kind of them. Give them my regards when you speak with them next."

"Sure thing." I pulled open the door to leave.

"Oh, and Seifer-"

I stopped and looked back at her. "Yeah?"

"Don't miss my class anymore."

* * *

It was as I thought it would be when I finally got to the table. 

"And then I told the kid that there's no pranks to be played here, ya know?"

"RIDICULOUS."

Squall nodded occasionally, but when I got there he glared up at me. His face was the pinnacle of calm, but his eyes screamed murder. Or, more specifically 'murder Seifer'.

"Seif, I was just telling him about the kid I caught sticking gum to the stairs this morning, ya know?"

I quirked a brow, taking more interest in it than Squall had. "Really? And why did he do it?"

Squall interrupted. "He wanted someone to step on it, _obviously_." _Geez._

I tried to ignore it. "Did you make him peel it off with his teeth?"

"That would be a little cruel, ya know?"

"DISGUSTING."

I grinned and shrugged. "It was just a suggestion."

They stood. "We have to make our rounds before bed, ya know?"

"But you guys just got here!"

They looked at me funny. "It was you who just got here, ya know."

"YES."

My shoulders slumped. "Not my fault."

"Maybe we'll join you again some time, ya know?"

"SOON."

I nodded and they were gone. Squall let out a breath as if he'd been holding it.

"Thought they'd never leave…"

"Oh, come on. They're not so bad."

He glares up at me again. "They talk a lot, they smile too much, he has a bad habit of saying 'ya know' at the end of every sentence and she can't even _form_ a sentence!"

I smirked. "Yeah, well I thought you were a mute when we first met, so…"

"Come to think of it…they're a lot like YOU."

I quirked a brow. "REALLY? I didn't know that, ya know."

"…nevermind."

* * *

This chapter was slightly more on the serious side, maybe...kind of...okay, well, it was for a little bit. I just can't help myself. Seifer is a goof. A perverted one, at that. Though he was less perverted and more goofy in this chapter lol Love and cookies, all! review!

Aku-chan


	11. Chapter 11

I Promise

This chapter is a bit on the short side and I'm sooooorry! My brain is a little mushy today. Much love to all my reviwers! You guys are awesome! Many thanks to Lilitha who now rates my story a 16 out of 10! You guys are so nice to me! I'll try to come out with chapters faster…but you know, school is looming around the corner like death. So…it'll be hard, but I'll try my best!

**

* * *

Chapter 11 **

Squall and I were walking back towards our dorms, insulting each other the whole way as usual. When you got right down to it, it was more like a little game we played. The winner would be the one who could insult the other into silence. By now, neither of us took any of the insults personally.

"You would look good in drag." _And when we get married, you're wearing a dress! Wait, where did that come from?_

"That better than being like you and not looking good at all." _Ouch._

"Why thank you, _precious!_"

"You're welcome, _cupcake._"

"Are you gonna eat me?"

"And catch whatever disease you're carrying that makes you so stupid? No thanks."

"Maybe I should bite you, then."

"Touch me and I'll kill you."

Some students were walking past us in the hall now, so I took my chance.

"It's not like I haven't touched you before." I purred. As predicted, they all stared as they walked past.

Squall got pissed. "No you haven't!"

"Oh, you're right…it was _you_ touching _me_."

"Shut up."

"Aw, is that all you've got? Cause, I mean, you have to admit, I have a nicely muscled chest. And if you think that's good, you should see my ass!"

Squall mock-gagged. "You really do have a disease that causes stupidity. Stay away from me."

In a second I had him pinned against the wall. "Let's see if you catch it when I bite you, then."

He struggled to push me away, and I have to admit, he's strong for a little guy. "Get the fuck away from me!" But my size advantage kept him there. I leaned down to his neck, and he stopped struggling suddenly. Whether he was terrified of catching my disease or just giving up was beyond me. As I opened my mouth, there was an explosion at the end of the hall that rocked the whole building and made me fall over. The bonus? Squall fell on me.

As soon as his shock passed, he got off me and ran towards the blue flames-I followed. Even without our gunblades on us, we had our magic. The door and surrounding wall to Rinoa's dorm had been blown off and she and Zell both laid there, unconscious.

"Princess snot is still breathing, sadly."

"So is Zell."

"What the hell happened here?"

Squall stepped up beside me and looked down at the unconscious girl. "Whatever it was-she did it."

"What? You're kidding, right? She can't do anything that powerful!"

"Look at her hands." He pointed and, sure enough, they were slightly burnt. "She cast it…whatever it was."

Adults swarmed the hallway at once and started asking questions. We explained it as best we could, with what we knew-which was close to nothing. The only one who'd be able to explain it was Rinoa.

* * *

When Dr. K came out she stared at us. "I'm surprised to see you two waiting here." 

"He made me-ow!" Squall had given me a good kick.

"Any idea what's going on?"

She shrugged. "Zell has gone into a light coma, but Rinoa has woken. She claims someone by the name of Marnia was controlling her."

I stared at her, then left the room at a run. Squall called after me and I could hear his quick footsteps somewhere behind me, but it didn't matter too much right then. I flung the door to my dorm open and stepped inside, not much caring that it stayed open. Squall let himself in and stared as I picked up the case to my gunblade and started stuffing random articles of clothing into my duffle bag.

"What the hell are you doing, Seifer?" _There you go with my name again…do you only say it when you're worried?_

I looked at him and blinked. "Wow, I guess you catch my stupid disease just by getting close."

Squall growled. "This isn't the time for that, you idiot! What do you know that I don't?"

"It's obviously a sorceress. Controlling, the blue light and explosion with more power than princess bitch has-it all checks out."

"I know that already. What I want to know is what you think you're doing. We can't move out until we know where she is and we sure as hell can't let you go alone."

"Well, thank you for trusting me."

"Cut out that bullshit already and tell me what's going on!" He sounded rather impatient. I turned around and he glared at me with his arms crossed as usual.

"Marnia…is the name of my step-mother."

* * *

Well, now you guys know the secret to his step mother...but what does that make his step brother? mwaha! 


	12. Chapter 12

I Promise

Hello all! Sorry to make you wait so long! But for your wait, you'll be rewarded. Just read and find out. ((wink)) And this chapter is nice and long. Seven pages in size 10 font! Yay!

_Puppet In The Corner-_ You know, I get really weird images in my head when I look at your username. ((laughs)) But yes! I love the hate you all have going for Rinoa and Seif's family. Spectacular!

_PainfulxRecovery-_ Ha ha, you didn't force it out of me! You forgoooot! Mwha!

_Angels-Obsession-_ Heehee…it's okay. I'm happy to get your review all the same. It shows me you like it, and that's what counts.

_Lilitha-_ Well, don't worry! I really like this fic, too. I won't just stop. Even if I don't like a fic much, I'd continue, cause I know the heartbreak of liking a story and then someone never finishes…and you never get to know how it ends. ((cries)) And as you suggested, I didn't rush myself and look what happened! Yay! Longer chapter and I think it turned out well. Now, after reading this chapter, I wonder if the 20 out of 10 will go up even higher…Heehee.

_Matron Raenee-_ Yesh, that's exactly what it is! DUN DUN DUN! I love saying that.

**And a bazillion thanks to all my other reviewers! You guys are awesome!**

**

* * *

Chapter 12**

"Rinoa could be lying…she probably is. She must have seen your step mother's name on one of the papers she got from another garden."

I sighed. "She couldn't have, because he married her right about the time I was kicked out of that other garden. She'd only be on Balamb's papers-it takes a couple months to get transferred, you know." I had been shooting down every reason Squall could come up with, and it was getting boring. "I don't know why he even married her in the first place. He loves his money more than anything else, and she already had another kid for him to pay for. Now THAT doesn't add up-care to solve that mystery for me?"

Squall rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Unless he knew she was a sorceress. He could be using her to get money, since it's more than likely easy to control weak people. But apparently she wasn't aiming to kill you…yet."

I quirked a brow. "Oh, and you believe me all of a sudden?"

"Shut up." He looked away. "In any case, we have to report this to Cid and organize a group of SeeDs-"

"We don't have the time for that! Why should we wait around for that old man? She could easily hurt more people in the time it takes. Besides…" I frowned. "…this is MY problem."

"It's not just your problem when it involves other people and gets them hurt!"

"Then either come with me or stay here and wait for the old man to make the call." _The alone time is very appealing. No way he'd say yes, though._ I picked up a few last minute items and shoved them into my duffle bag.

"…fine."

I blinked. "Fine WHAT?"

Squall mumbled. "I swear, sometimes you really ARE stupid." he glared at me. "Fine, as in, I'll come with you."

"Good." Then there was an awkward silence, and I felt a dire need to fill it. "And I'm not stupid! You're the one who's been mute for so long that you speak in code. Probably on purpose so you can _make_ me look stupid."

"Then I'll spell everything out for you from now on."

"Asshole…" I grumbled.

* * *

We decided it wouldn't hurt to check on Zell's condition before we headed out. Okay, _Squall_ decided we'd check on him before we left-so sue me.

"Hey, Doc, how's Chicken-wuss?"

She blinked. "Chicken…what?"

Squall sighed. "He means Zell."

"Oh. Well, I'm afraid he's still out-and doesn't look to be waking up anytime soon. However, his heart rate seems to be slowing, little by little. I'm worried, because I've never seen anything like it…"

Squall gave me a look that said 'I know who's fault it is'. "Hey, Doc, I don't suppose you have any…connections."

"Connections?" she looked confused.

"Yeah, like any way to help us get where we're going?"

"Going-where? I don't understand."

Squall rolled his eyes. "He wants to know if you have any way to get us a vessel or some form of transportation."

"Transportation? Whatever for?"

"We have a sorceress to defeat."

* * *

"Well, THAT was a waste of time."

"No it wasn't. At least she gave us another idea."

"Oh, you know we'd be going to Quistis anyway."

"I don't see how you figure that."

I smirked. "Well, it's no big secret among the student body that you have quite a crush on her."

"WHAT!"

I shrugged, but inside, I was laughing. _No one can get a reaction like that out of you but me…for anyone else, you would have shrugged. What does that mean? Anything at all? _It certainly was a rumor that had been going around for a while and I just needed to make sure. _Squall is MINE!_ "That's what I hear. After all, you're her _favorite_ student."

"You're one of those idiots that actually _believe_ everything they hear, aren't you?"

_Well, you never tell me anything, so what am I supposed to think? _

"Okay, I'll take that as a no. So, who DO you like, then?"

"No one."

"Oh, come on! Don't give me that bullshit. You won't even tell _me_, your _friend_, who you like?"

"No."

"AH HA! That means you DO like someone!"

He simply shrugged.

_Let it be me, let it be me, let it be me…_

"So, who is it?"

* * *

I asked the whole way, and never got an answer. It made me suspicious, but it also bothered me much more than it would have if he had said he liked no one. Because the someone he liked was probably not me.

"_Dear_ instructor, do you have any…connections?"

Squall shoved me aside. "Before he confuses you, let me explain. We need transportation."

She gave us a suspicious look. "To go where, exactly?"

I didn't think it was a good idea to tell her the real reason, but Squall isn't much of a liar. He omits things from the truth...or just plain tells you to shove it up your ass.

"We need it because we have to stop a sorceress."

She gaped. "Just the two of you? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.We have to inform Cid of this immediately and gather a team…"

I shoved Squall out of the way this time. "We don't have time for that! Chicken-wuss is in a coma and dying already. If we can stop her, maybe he'll be alright. But we don't have time to gather a team. You can do that and bring them to back us up, okay?But we really need to go. Now."

She looked between the two of us and sighed. "You two better not fight." _Ha ha, like that's possible._

She used a key to open a drawer with more keys. She picked one out and handed it to us. "Use the Ragnarok Mr. Lorie donated to the garden. Take care of it and bring it back in perfect condition."

I snickered. "Want us to wash it while we're at it?"

She smiled at us, almost looking…human, for a moment. Almost. "That would be wonderful. Now get out of here before I report you."

* * *

We slipped into the 'control room' and I picked a random chair to plop into. He took the one next to me and started messing with the different buttons and switches. The engine roared to life and I quirked a brow.

"You think _you're_ driving this thing?"

"Can YOU?"

"Well, not exactly…" I'd never been in anything like it before, so I had no clue.

"Then shut up and let me do this."

"Yeah, yeah." As soon as we had taken off, he was playing with more buttons while trying to drive. Suddenly, he stopped.

"…where do you live?"

I tried to contain it as best I could, but I ended up laughing at him.

"The hell is so funny?"

"N-Nothing, ha ha!" After a moment I got myself under control."What are you even doing?"

Even though I'm way taller, he smacked the back of my head as if trying to knock some sense into me. "Idiot. I'm setting the auto pilot! Do you want to sleep or not?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Suddenly, I got a wonderfully evil idea. _BINGO!_ "I mean, you'd be the one not getting any sleep. I can't drive this thing."

"And I don't know the way-I'd teach you."

"Hmm, sorry. Didn't you once tell me I had the memory span of a goldfish? And that's what, five seconds?" I paused dramatically. "So, that means, if I don't tell you, I'll go to bed and you'll stay here."

"Asshole…what's your point?"

"My point is-"

"There's only one bed anyway you moron!"

I blinked. _Only one? Yeeeeeeeees!_ _Wait, wait. Gotta play it cool. Why'd he even say that?_ "Well, well…what are YOU getting at, huh? I mean, if you want me that badly, I understand-"

"Shut up!" He looked away. "Dumb ass, do you want to kill this sorceress or not?"

"Damn…" He had me there, and there was nothing I could do about it. Besides, there was only one bed anyway. _How'd he know that's what I was trying to do?_ Of course, a little part of me hoped that it was what _he_ wanted. I casually set the coordinates as if I hadn't just tried to trick Squall into bed with me, and went to brush my teeth. When I came out of the tiny bathroom, I realized something.

"Squall…"

"What?"

"…you didn't bring anything with, did you?"

He shrugged. "We didn't have time."

_Someone up there must love me._ I grinned and held out my toothbrush and toothpaste to him, and he just stared.

"What?"

"Do you think I'm gonna put up with smelling your nasty breath all night?"

He glared. "My breath isn't nasty like yours." That was the thing about Squall. He _always_ smelled good. _He could probably not shower for two weeks and still smell good-okay, maybe that's pushing it._

"Yeah, yeah. Just get your grumpy ass over here and be happy you have a _nice_ roommate who's willing to share his stuff."

He kept his death glare, but came anyways. _Score! Seifer: 1 Squall: 0!_

He took his sweet time, but eventually joined me in the small bedroom…if you could even call it that. It had a tiny bed, and that was it. Of course, I didn't mind that-cuddle time! _Oh, hold up, Seifer Almasy does NOT cuddle…_

I stripped down to my boxers in front of him and yawned. "Looks like it'll be a tight fit."

"With your huge body, yeah." He peeled off his clothes as well, and I tried to pretend I didn't care. It was also one of the first times that I'd seen his hands. Since he always wore gloves, his hands weren't rough like mine. They looked soft-I wanted him to touch me with those hands.

"Are you calling me fat?" I looked down and inspected my middle, but found nothing but muscle.

"I'll sleep on the floor."

I blinked. "And how do you plan to do that? I didn't bring bedding with me, genius."

"To hell if I'm sleeping in my boxers in a bed with you, pervert."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, Squall, you hurt my feelings."

He looked at me suspiciously. "If you have any."

"Ouch!" I acted as if he had just hit me. "Well, aren't we touchy, princess? Look, I don't know about you, but I think it's awfully cold in this piece of shit tin can. Now, you're not sleeping on the floor and freezing to death on me, because I _might_ need your help tomorrow. And, frankly, I wouldn't mind stealing your body…heat." _Crap._

He glared again, then looked at the bed. "Fine, but you get in first."

"…why?"

"So you don't crush me!"

"Geez. What's your problem? Seifophobia?"

"Could be. Now get your ass in. It's getting cold."

"Not my fault you're so small…"I mumbled. _But you better not get any bigger…I bet if I could hug you we'd be the perfect fit. _I climbed in carefully, trying to save him as much room as I could. I'm pretty sure he noticed since he sighed before climbing in, himself. It was very hard to stop myself from reaching over and touching him, but in turn, I couldn't sleep to save my life. Whenever I turned over I would try to do it as carefully as possible so that it wouldn't bother Squall, who I thought was fast asleep.

"You know, if you keep moving around like that we'll never get any sleep." _So much for that._

I flopped onto my back again. "Yeah, well, sor-RY princess. I can't sleep anyway. That's why I'm moving in the first place."

He turned on his side and propped himself up on his elbow. "What's the problem?"

_Are you actually…worried?_

I turned onto my side to face him. "Is that _concern_ I hear in your voice?"

"_No_, I simply want you to shut up and go to sleep!" He rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile there. "Don't be stupid-well, not that you can help it."

I smirked a bit at his sarcasm before frowning. "Well, if I'm wrong about this, I'm probably going to be expelled from garden."

He frowned again and I felt really guilty about it. _Maybe I should have passed it off as nothing…to keep that smile there. Gah, I sound like a damn girl! Why have I changed so much because of you? _"They can't do that. It's a logical assumption."

"Yeah, well, that's if I can even get back to garden. If I'm wrong, they'll kill me."

"That's why I'm coming with, you idiot."

I blinked. "…huh?"

"I found you last time, remember? If you're wrong about this, so what? That doesn't mean they can kick you around. So if you're not going to fight back, I will."

"You'd…fight for me?"

"It's not like that!" He looked down at the sheets. "It's just ridiculous, that's all."

I smirked a little and tilted his chin up with my hand. "So are you." And when I brought my lips down onto his own, it was better than any dream I'd ever had. He stiffened for a moment before gradually giving in. I licked his lips gently, begging to be let in. It seemed like he wasn't going to, but slowly, his mouth opened and I slipped my tongue in. He tasted minty fresh thanks to my toothpaste, but I had a feeling he would have tasted the same without it.

I pulled him close to me and before he could do anything about it, I had pushed him over so I could lay on top of him.

"S-Seifer…"

"Shh…" I kissed him again and let one of my hands wander down his body while the other held me up. I could feel him shiver with pleasure when I gently pushed my hips into his before moving down. I kissed my way down his neck and bit his collar bone. Squall moaned softly and I could feel that my boxers were getting just a liiiittle too tight. Especially when I could feel him harden against my stomach as I licked and sucked at a nipple. The hands I loved so much felt their way down my sides and I grinned a little, trying my hardest to push away the thoughts of how he got so experienced. I couldn't help but wonder if he thought the same thing about me.

I slid my way back up his body to kiss him again, as an excuse to rub our hips together. He moaned into my mouth, but when my fingers played with the material of his boxers, he pushed me off of him as gently as he could and turned away.

"…sorry. I…can't."

I frowned, but there was nothing to say. Whatever Rinoa had done to him, it must have been nasty. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, and he eventually relaxed into the embrace. Like this, with Squall's back against me, I could finally fall asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

I Promise

Well, if finishing a chappy is what happens when I can't sleep, I hope I never sleep again! Lol

_The Goddess of All -_ Heehee…yes, Seifer is kind of girly at times. Mostly in his thoughts. It's more just being mushy, but that's associated with being girly, because guys are supposed to be tough and manly. That's why he beats himself up for it, too.

_Lexy -_ Yup, I certainly am going to reveal what Rinoa did to Squall. And pretty soon, too, I promise!

_Kohaku-Yuuga's-remembrance -_ I got you all hooked on that question, huh? See my above response. ((grins))

_Painful Recovery -_ At least Squall didn't push him out of the bed, huh? Heehee…he doesn't have to.

_Lolita -_ Aww, you're too nice. I would have let Rinoa die. But, we need her for just a little longer. Then maybe I'll poll you guys on who wants her to die.

_PATTY 40 -_ Don't you worry about it. I hope your mom gets better…that must be scary for you. Take care! I hope my weird sense of humor can bring a smile to your face.

_Matron Raenee -_ Yay! I put you into automatic 'aww' mode! I hope you like this chappy, too, even though it isn't as much cuteness, and it gets a little more serious.

**Just wanted to let you all know that I took the whole "I'll be here…" thing from the game, and changed it a little to suit my own evil purposes. ((laughs)) And the quote below is a favorite of mine, and I think it really goes with this chapter. (You'll understand after you read the chapter, of course.) **

"The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was to say that, but at the moment, it's the sentence that best describes my tragic flaw-my inability to change. The more I get to know other people, the more I get to realize that...it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying the same for as long as possible. It feels better somehow; and if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, did something unexpected, who knows what other pain is waiting out there? So you maintain the status quo, and it doesn't seem that bad. You're not a drug addict; you're not killing anyone...except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, it's small-the kind of thing unnoticeable to most people unless you look close, which, thank god, they never do. But you notice it. It's a world of difference, and you hope that it is the person you'll get to be forever…that you'll never have to change again." - Ephraim Brown, Everwood

**

* * *

Chapter 13**

We woke up early in the morning when the ship came to a surprising stop. Because of that, we both fell right off the bed, dragging the sheets with us. Someone up there must like me again today, since I happened to be on top of Squall. I grinned and kissed him gently, talking in a lovey-dovey voice. "Morning honey."

A slight blush came to his cheeks and he tried to cover it with anger. "Get off me you asshole!"

"Aww, is that any way to treat your lover?"

"You're not my lover!"

"Hmm…you're right." I leaned down and whispered into his ear. "But when we make love sometime, you will be." I nipped his ear, and he pushed me off.

"Cut that out."

I quirked a brow. "Why? We're…_something_, aren't we?" _A circus act, perhaps?_

"You wish." He stood up and turned away from me, wearing his usual frown. "Last night was a mistake, and I'm not into guys. Leave me alone." Then he casually walked to the bathroom as if he hadn't just ripped my heart out and stomped all over it.

I frowned and mumbled "Fuck you." Even though he couldn't hear it, and I began digging through my bag. _What, wake up on the wrong side of the bed, princess? Is this about Rinoa again? I thought I finally got that stick out of your ass! WE MADE OUT! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Maybe a month ago it wouldn't have meant anything to me, but, well…something's changed._

He walked out of the bathroom as casually as he had walked in and was promptly hit in the face with clothing.

"What the hell are you doing!"

I grit my teeth. "Those are your clothes for today, asshole. I don't need you smelling worse than usual." I grabbed my own clothes and pushed past him into the bathroom before he could come up with a good enough reply.

After I had closed the door, I heard a muffled "Fuck you, Almasy!"

I snickered. "I wish you would."

* * *

By the time I got out, Squall glared up at me from the bed, arms crossed, as if he'd been sitting there for hours.

"Took you long enough."

"Well, unlike some people around here, I'm past puberty and I need to shave." _Why should I worry about someone who doesn't give a shit about me? I'm so fucking stupid for thinking I could ever love someone again. Not after…well, that's not really it, is it? I'm a fucking idiot for thinking **he** could love me. I didn't love you…don't love you, Squall. And if I keep reminding myself, maybe it won't hurt so much. _

"Shut the hell up! I DO shave!"

"Ha, yeah, right." I laced up my boots.

He eyed me suspiciously. "What the hell is your problem, Almasy?"

"I could ask you the same question, _Leonhart_." My trench coat is the one piece of clothing I take really good care of. I grabbed it from where it was hanging and pulled it on.

"I asked you first." He stood and crossed his arms again.

"What, are you five years old? My fucking problem is _you_." I opened Hyperion's case and lifted it out, making sure all was ready.

Squall seemingly mimicked me and grabbed his gunblade. "And what did _I_ do?"

I don't know which thought hurt more: having him hurt me on purpose, or being hurt by him while he doesn't even get what he did.

"So, what is it? Because I ruined your little game?"

I blinked. "Game?"

He looked at me like I was stupid-and maybe I was. "Yeah. Your little game of 'fuck with Squall's mind and see if we can break him.' I ruined it this morning by telling you that last night was a _mistake_ and that I'm not gay. You, on the other hand, flirt with everything that breathes."

I gaped at him, then frowned. _You think I'm still that kind of person? If I'm the only one who's noticed…does that mean I really haven't changed? _"First off, I think you're mistaking me for Irvine. Second…" I grabbed him by his jacket and nearly lifted him off the ground. "You dumb ass! You think I'm just fucking with you? You think I want to cause you more pain than you're already in? Fuck, I never knew you took my insults so personally! I thought it was just a stupid game we had going!" I dropped him with an added shove so he fell on his ass. "Damn, you're a moron. This isn't some kind of sick joke. Not anymore."

"Sei-"

"Shut up. Let's go already." I walked out on him before he could try to ask anything else. _Maybe I'M the moron…I practically just 'confessed' my feelings to him. All it was missing was an 'I'm in love with you!' Stupid. Really stupid._

* * *

The road there was pretty long, but I had done that on purpose. It would make sure they wouldn't be able to easily trace how we got here, and it would give me more alone time with Squall. But last night, I didn't know that right now, I wanted to be as far away from him as possible.

We were silent for some time before he spoke to me. "What did you mean when you said it's not a sick joke _anymore_?"

I shrugged. "Nothing important, it seems. I mean, I flirt with _everything that breathes_!"

He frowned and returned his gaze to the path ahead of us. The silence settled on us once again, and something came to mind that I wanted to say. I didn't want him to be afraid of me anymore, if that's what it was. I whined to myself _but it's going to sound so mushy…what the hell have you made me into, Squall?_

My heart beat quickly in my chest as I tried to muster up the courage it would take to say something like this.

"Look…I'll be here."

He looked up at me due to the unexpected conversation. "What?"

"I mean…I'll be here…for you."

He almost looked confused, and I hoped he could understand what I meant, and save me even more embarrassment. "Why?"

"I'll be here for you so that…if anything happens, you can find me." I lowered my voice and mumbled "I…promise…" By then, all my courage had dried up and blown away.

Pools of gray-blue watched me intently, as if in deep thought, but he said nothing. Maybe no words needed to be spoken. All I know is, the silence was much more comfortable than it had been before.

* * *

After a time, the house came into view and Squall stared up at it.

"Your dad owns a mansion on a cliff?"

Okay, so it isn't exactly a _house_.

I shrugged casually. "I told you, he likes his money."

Squall frowned and looked uncomfortable. "How are we going to go about this?"

"How should I know?"

"You dragged me out here without a plan!"

"Maybe…" I thought about it for a minute. "Okay, I got it."

He watched me and waited.

"We bust in there, hit some people in the face, and see where it goes."

Squall sighed and started walking for the house again. "You're impossible. Let's just get this over with."

* * *

The closer we came, the more I dreaded it. _What if I'm wrong?_

"_Yeah, well, that's if I can even get back to garden. If I'm wrong, they'll kill me."_

"_That's why I'm coming with, you idiot."_

"…_huh?"_

"_I found you last time, remember? If you're wrong about this, so what? That doesn't mean they can kick you around. So if you're not going to fight back, I will."_

"_You'd…fight for me?"_

For a little while, that memory renewed my courage. Even though it probably wasn't true, I felt like having Squall with me meant I could do anything. _I promised I'd always be with you…but do you believe me? I guess you'd never promise me the same thing. I'm just being stupid and girly again. I mean, what the fuck? Isn't being girly supposed to be Squall's role?_

The thought of Squall in a dress made me chuckle and he looked up at me.

"What the hell's so funny?"

"Red's a good color for you."

He glared. "I don't wear red." _Oh, but you will._

"I know. Just black and whiiite…SO exciting." I rolled my eyes and he shrugged.

"I like black."

"You could at least _try_ other colors."

"I wore other colors when I was a kid, until-"

"No you didn't."

He blinked and looked up at me again. "…how would you know?"

_An excellent question. Why did I even say that? I don't know…but I feel like I know. Am I missing something?_

"I _don't_ know."

"That's what I thought."

_But then…our scars. They're nearly identical. How do you explain THAT? _

Squall reached for the bell and I was about to ask him, but the door opened. In the doorway stood the very person we had come there to defeat. Squall dropped his hand back to his side.

"What a surprise. Welcome."

I glared. "How did you know we were here? We never rang the bell." _Sorceress powers, maybe?_

She smiled sweetly. "I saw you from the window. Please, come in. I'm sure we have much to talk about. Your father will be pleased."

Her reasoning was perfectly logical, but I had a feeling "pleased" was not something my "father" would be. He _never_ wanted me to visit before, especially without an invitation. But maybe with Squall there he'd play the role of the kind parent-and that wouldn't get us anywhere either.

We cautiously stepped inside and followed her to our doom.


	14. Chapter 14

I Promise

I'M BACK! ((hugs you all)) I'm sorry! My computer kinda had issues, and I had to reformat it and…yeah. It really sucked. But, this chapter is six pages long, so I hope that kind of makes up for it. Thank you all so much for your patience and reviews! I had a fight with my older brother, and it was really bad, so I'm sorry if there's some extra OOCness or anything.

This chapter is dedicated to _kmsaum_ cause…well, I had a really good reason a few days ago, but I forgot. I really appreciated your reviews, and I hope who's speaking is less difficult to figure out in this chapter. Sorry for confusing you! Oh, yes! I remember why! Because you're reading this story even though you're not a big yaoi fan like I am! And you called me Aku-chan! ((beams)) Thnks so much-this chapter's for you!

_Kamichiee_ - Agreed! I hate Rinoa so much now. Oh, don't worry…Rinoa will die. In fact, I already know how! But I'm not telling. Heehee.

_tortured soul 011288_ - Yay! I love when you guys give me your personal 1-10 scale ratings. Lets me know how I'm doing! A 19! ((gapes)) That makes me feel so good. ((grins)) Must…deflate…ego…((pop!)) Whew, my head is normal size again…that's dangerous. XD

_Chakliux _- I'm sorry it took so long to update! At least I had a better reason this time, eh? I'll try reeeeally hard to update faster now! Crap, I say that every time, don't I?

_Lexy_ - Well, this chapter will really make you wonder, then. You'll get to find out how Squall and Seifer are connected in the next chapter!

_Painful Recovery_ - Ha ha ha! You never made me tell you! You forgot! Ha ha! ((dances)) You'll find out next chapter, don't worry!

_Lolita_ - I'm glad you liked the quote! The "I'll be here" thing just kinda popped into my mind. I mean, it's in the introduction to the game. And I just thought 'Man! I need to find a way to put this in-Rinoaless.' I figured it was pretty good placement. They were walking along silently, and Seifer wanted to make some kind of promise so Squall would stop thinking that he'll pull a Rinoa. Sadly, that doesn't fix all their problems. If it did, they might have made out right then and there. Squall knows promises can be cheap. Well, you'll see what happens!

_Squalmasy_ - Oooo, don't get caught, okay? Heehee…believe me, nobody appreciates the secrecy of reviewing from school like I do. XD We're not allowed to check our mail or do anything that's not school related. So o' course I say screw that! Heehee. Just gotta be REALLY careful.

_Matron Raenee_ - Yeah, I know! Sometimes my OWN stories make me want to cry. Cause, well, you guys don't know it, but sometimes, little parts of my life are in here. Something someone has said to me or something that's happened, dreams I've had, or feelings. Sometimes the best way to know me is through my stories(or my MyOtaku journal, which is the website I have listed in my profile) So my stories probably hold more vaule for me than you guys think. ((sweat drops)) Ah, well, it's all good. I wonder what this chapter will do to you all? It makes me so happy when it makes you guys actually FEEL stuff. Not just "oh that was a cool chapter." but more like "I cried" or "I laughed out loud and my parents looked at me funny." XD

Now, without any further ado, I present chapter 14 of I Promise!

**

* * *

Chapter 14**

"I'm sure we have much to talk about. Your father will be pleased. This way." She began leading us through the house.

There was just one problem with what she said. We _didn't_ have anything to talk about, and my father _wouldn't_ be pleased. That was made pretty clear when he told me never to come around uninvited-that is, unless I happened to have the urge to get the shit beaten out of me.

"We were just having tea, and we'd love if you and your friend would join us."

_Oh, I see. If Squall wasn't with me, I would have been beaten into the ground already. Have to preserve your image, huh?_

She lead us into the backyard and the scene was exactly what you would expect from rich _scum_ like them. The father in a suit, smugly reading the paper to see the stocks he's invested in-or something like that. The son dressed casually, but expensively, coming back from playing golf-or some other equally boring game-, somewhere on the estate. And, let's not forget the mother, in a brightly colored sun dress complete with some kind of hat. Classic.

_Just like all the movies…so much money and I've never seen a cent of it, though I'm sure Garden isn't free._

Robert put down the paper and smiled kindly. "So you decided to join us after all-and with a friend, no less. Won't you introduce the fine young man you've brought with you?"

_This isn't the father I know at all._

The unexpected kindness made me falter. "T-This is Squall…Leonhart." _My boyfriend…or something._

He smiled like the Cheshire cat. "I'm Robert Almasy. This is my wife, Marnia, and my son, Xain." he gestured to them. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Come, sit down."

As if forced at gun point, we sat in the fancy white, cushioned chairs. Marnia set a teacup and saucer before both of us and poured the steaming liquid.

"How many cubes of sugar?"

_All wrong. This has to be a trap. They know why I'm here. And Squall…that look on his face…I know what he's thinking. 'What happened to hitting people and seeing how it goes? We're supposed to fight them, not drink tea! What the hell is wrong with you?'_

"Seifer, honey…"

I blinked and looked up at the thought-offending voice that dripped with kindness.

_What the hell do you want?_ "Yeah?"

"How many cubes of sugar, sweetheart?"

_Stop calling me things mom used to call me!_ "Um…" _You can take that sugar and shove it up your-_ "Two…please."

Squall gave a strange look in my direction that seemed to say _'Since when are you ever polite to anyone?'_ but the look faded to _'You're afraid, aren't you?' Afraid…? I've always been afraid…_

Marnia smiled at Squall-the kind of smile reserved for 'I know something you don't know.' "And you, dear?"

"None, but I'd like to request something else."

She blinked. "Of course. What can we get you?"

"I'd like the sorceress' head on a sterling silver platter." _With crackers on the side? Guess he's tired of playing around._

She never faltered, as if he had just asked for honey. "Oh, my. Are you boys going hunting? You must be, since you brought your gunblades." She laughed-a hollow, fake sound-yet it seemed too familiar. "She must be around here, hm? I'm sure you didn't come all this way just for a little visit."

_Stop kidding around._

"I'm glad Seifer finally has a friend."

_Stop._

"He's doing _so_ well at Garden-did you notice?"

_Stop!_

"Have you been helping him? His-"

I jumped up from my seat. "Stop it already!"

They stared at me. "Seifer, honey, what-"

"Stop bullshitting me! We already know what you are!"

My 'father' stood next. "How dare you speak to your mother like that! Apologize right-"

"She's not my god damned mother! Or have you forgotten Ami so easily?" And that statement alone landed me flat on my back.

He bent down and kept his voice at a low, dangerous whisper. "Don't say that name here-I won't tell you again." He stood back up and smiled to Squall. "My apologies-he overreacts sometimes."

_No…you don't want to remember what you did to her…do you?_

"And…what _did_ happen to your wife?" Squall wasn't even trying to be polite. He was the real thing-unlike me. He treats everyone the same-I can't even manage to continue being an asshole around the people I hate most.

_I guess that's because I fear them, too…_

"Sadly, she died."

"How?"

"Aren't you curious? A car accident."

"…mom didn't drive, asshole." I hissed from the ground. _Maybe if she did, we could have escaped you._

He kicked me in the side and I curled up automatically. "You were only six! What would you know, huh?"

Squall stood, in what I assumed was preparation to stop him from hitting me again.

"Oh, give it up, dear. They must already know…" Marnia smiled. "…that I killed her."

_No…you're lying. I saw him do it! I saw…_

"_Come here, sweetheart. How's your nose? Is the bandage staying?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_He hit you pretty hard…I wish you wouldn't fight."_

"_We didn't fight, mom! We were practicing!"_

"_For w-"_

_Something crashed from the living room. "AMI! WHERE YOU AT?"_

_A frightened look crossed my mother's face. "Honey, go upstairs and sleep now okay? Daddy isn't happy."_

_I frowned. "Is he gonna hit you again? I don't like it when daddy hurts you…"_

"_Oh-no, sweety…no. Daddy doesn't hurt me." Another crash. "Hurry and go upstairs. I'll be up to tuck you in soon, okay?"_

"'_Kay…" But she didn't know that I already knew…that I had seen everything. I crawled up the stairs, but instead of going into my room, I watched from behind the bars of the banister. It started out like his usual drunken beatings, but before long it became even more violent. He grabbed Ami by her neck and squeezed. She struggled only for a few moments before she stopped moving altogether. He let go, and through the pounding silence in my ears, her body hit the kitchen tile with a sickening thud. _

_A gasp left my mouth before I could even think about preventing it, and he looked up at me. He was no longer just the father who had no interest in me-and he knew it all too well. His laugh sounded cold and empty as he approached me. I backed away until I was up against a wall and had no where else to go._

"_Well, well, well…what do we have here?" He reached forward and I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for the pain to come. Instead, I felt the bandage being peeled off my nose. "You're just a scrawny little brat who likes fighting…but maybe you'll be useful some day. Maybe. I need an army willing to fight and die for me…and you can be my first soldier."_

I had always known my father had killed my mother, but what he had said to me after was never as clear as it was now. I don't know what age kids start remembering things, but it seemed like my mother's murder was my very first memory-yet I could feel more beyond it. _What am I missing?_

Like a hologram, her appearance changed before our eyes. A bright dress became black and long, her hair seemingly darker and shorter, tanned skin turned deathly pale, and brown eyes glowed a monsterous yellow. Marnia laughed again as we all stared.

_That laugh…that's why I recognize it. So then…it's true? …she killed my mother by possessing my father?_

No more coherent thoughts were allowed to form as I gripped my gunblade tightly and ran at her. Then I was on the ground as quickly as I had gotten up from it. Someone called my name, but I just kept trying. All my life I'd wanted to kill my father for what he'd done-only to find out he hadn't done it at all. He was an asshole...but not a murderer.

_I won't let this go unpunished._

"You know, it was the only way to keep you close by."

I glared at her, but in truth, I had no idea what she was talking about. Squall had finally managed to knock out both Xain and my father with a sleep spell, and now stood at my side.

"I was going to make you forget everything…but the best way to keep you in my grasp was to give you a reason to keep coming back. You hated your father for what he did, and that kept you here, my knight."

_Forget everything? I don't get it…I don't belong to anyone!_

"I'm not your damned knight!"

She smiled. "Yet you've been under my power all these years-as well as your little companion there."

I looked at Squall and looked back at me, equally confused. I was pretty sure Squall had nothing to do with it.

"It's so ironic that you two met there. I told him not to send you to Balamb-it's too bad we had no other choice. I needed you on the inside in order to destroy them…and now you've failed me. I don't need you anymore."

Fire formed in front of her a second before she unleashed it at me. Squall, who was better with most magic than me, quickly cast shell before it hit. Lucky for me-it hardly hurt at all. I raised by gunblade again.

"Idiot! It's obvious physical attacks don't work right now! We have to use magic!"

I gaped at Squall. "The one I'm best at is the one she just threw at me!"

She cast dispel and the shell was gone as quickly as it had been given.

That gave me an idea, and I tried hard to concentrate and do it right. If I didn't, she'd know my plan and protect herself against it.

"_Hey…you know I hate asking you for help, but…"_

"_You need my help." Squall smirked a little. _

"…_right."_

"_What a big blow to your pride. Doing magic isn't that hard."_

_I frowned. "Well, excuse me, princess, I'm not good at everything like you."_

"_You know, you just admitted I'm good at everything."_

"_Shut the hell up! Are you going to help or not?"_

_Squall sighed. "Look, it's not that complicated. If you know what you want to do, you just have to concentrate on the effects of it and concentrate on putting the right amount of power into it to summon the magic up."_

"_Oh, yeah, that made a lot of sense."_

"_I'm not going to explain it again. I can talk all I want, but if you can't figure out how to do it on your own, there's no hope."_

"_You're just saying that because you hate talking-it'll ruin your delicate throat or something. Sucks to be you, princess!"_

"_Stop calling me that!"_

I sighed and closed my eyes. _Okay, so all I have to do is concentrate, right? Concentrate…concentrate…summon it up…put the right amount of power in…_I reached my hand out towards her and released the energy I had gathered, successfully casting a dispel to rid her of her own shell and protect.

Squall understood and lunged at her. His gunblade went through her before she could use any magic to counter it. In desperation she stuck her claws into Squall's shoulder. He backed away as quickly as possible and she fell over.

I ran up and had a look. "Ha ha! She was good in trickery, but for fighting skills she gets a zero!"

Squall sat down and examined his shoulder. "So now what are you going to do?"

I blinked. "What?"

"You've lived your whole life for this moment, haven't you? This was your whole purpose for living, and now it's over. What do you do with yourself now?"

It was an interesting question, and I'd never thought about it before. _I never thought I'd get my revenge. Now I did…and what becomes of me now? But I have a different reason to live now, don't I? Squall…_

"_Last night was a mistake, and I'm not into guys. Leave me alone." _

_But that was just because he thought it was a trick, right? He thought I was trying to pull a Rinoa. _

"Oh no!"

I spun around, only to find the last person I wanted to see.

Rinoa crouched down and touched Marnia's neck. "You killed her!"

_Speak of the devil and she shall appear, eh?_ "Of course we did! She's the sorceress!"

Rinoa smiled. "Not anymore…" She touched the unmoving body. "I accept." Then she glowed with a bright blue light for a moment before standing again.

Squall's eyes widened.

"Um…what did she-"

"She took the sorceress' powers, you idiot!"

"Let's kill her, then!"

Squall rolled his eyes. "It isn't that simple. We need someone responsible to pass the powers to-"

"Don't move!" Armored men, apparently from Deling City, surrounded us. "You're both under arrest for murder of the sorceress."

I gaped. "What are you talking about? She's right there!" I started to lift my gunblade, but Squall signaled not to. It was probably a good idea, unless I wanted a couple dozen holes in me.

"Sorceress Rinoa asked for your arrest as well."

_That traitor! Perfect student of Balamb Garden my ass!_

Squalled sent a death glare their way. "And where are we going?"

"D District Prison." That was all the answer we got before they knocked us out.

* * *

Again, sorry for any extra OOCness that might appear. The battle was short, I know. But she was meant to be weak. What's the connection between Seifer and Squall? What does Rinoa plan to do with them? Will they escape? You'll find out-DUN DUN DUN-Next chapter. ((sticks tongue out)) And okay, I just found a spider crawling on me, so I think I'll go to bed now. It's kinda 3:30 in the morning. ((dies)) 


	15. Chapter 15

I Promise

Hey all. Sorry for being so late with this chapter. Life has been rather…upside down lately. I was going to get this out on my Birthday, November 7th, but I was busier than I thought I would be. My brother just left tonight for Thailand, so I'm crying my eyes out. Again, sorry for the lateness. I'll try to be quicker. **I finished my other story, so aside from slowly working on my one-shots, this is my main priority.** I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I did.

_Hakkai-sama_ - I'm SO sorry that I took so long! Please forgive me! I know how it is..sometimes I have to go back and look at the pervious chapter to remember what happened on stories I read. I'm sorry! I'll try to be quicker!

_Kamichiee_ - First of all, yay! You called me Aku-chan! Second, yes. I agree. Rinoa simply must die. Don't worry, I have it figured out and you all know it's coming. But when it happens, maybe I'll have some kind of poll. "Rinoa! Death by: yaoi awesomeness, a sexy swordfight, or gruesome suicide!" lol I don't know.

_Darklingofblood _- well, hopefully this one will answer a lot of questions. Yay for flashbacks and dreams!

_JadeAlmasy_ - Heehee….I still don't reveal what Rinoa did to him in this chapter. Next chapter I may, though. We'll see!

_Kohaku-Yuuga's-rembrance_ - I love cliffhangers. They make you guys squirm. D

_GothicAngelEyeS_ - heehee…patience…the best deaths come slowly.

_Shizuka-Yuki_ - Thanks. It wasn't the computer this time, just my life. XD

_Matron Raenee_ - Omg, your reviews always make me laugh. I bow to your awesomeness! ((bows)) Sorry I took so long to update! Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! XD

_Lolita_ - ((hugs)) yay! I'm glad you liked it! The answer is, yes-Seifer's father knew it was the sorceress who killed his wife. She controlled him, and maybe it would have made him mad, but the idea of having so much power on his side made him not care. He beat Ami all the time anyway. He couldn't have cared about her too much.

**

* * *

Chapter15**

Forgotten memories became my dreams when the darkness overtook me.

"_Okay, come and get me!" Yelled the young boy across from me. He was clad in all black, with soft brown hair that was probably longer than it should have been. Rain began to fall as he held a large stick out in front of him, waiting._

_I held up a stick of my own and ran at the boy. He easily blocked the hit and I smirked. A well placed kick moved him back, and I swiped the stick at his face. It cut across the bridge of his nose and blood dripped down his face. _

_The brown haired boy frowned in anger and took advantage of my shock to lunge at me and make a cut across my own nose. _

_My hand shot up to the injury and I pulled it back to reveal a lot of blood. "You stupid cheater!"_

"_That's what you get. You hit me first, idiot. I'm going home." He turned around and walked away._

"_Hey! Wait! You better come and practice tomorrow!"_

_The boy simply waved it off, but that was his way of saying that he'd be there-just like everyday._

_Suddenly feeling dizzy, I laid down in the grass and let the rain slowly wash the blood away. Before I could prevent it, something began licking the blood off my face._

"_H-Hey!" I pushed the offending tongue away and sat up. "Doggie?"_

_Said animal sat down next to me and stared. He was soaking wet, too. _

_I frowned. "I can't think of a name for you…but I bet mommy can. Come on, boy, let's go see her. Maybe you can stay with us!" I checked him over. "You don't have a collar…"_

_I walked along home, and the dog followed right beside me as if he'd been mine all along. _

_When we arrived, mommy freaked out pretty bad. _

"_Oh my god! Seify, honey, what on earth happened to you!"_

"_Me an' Squally were practicin' for when we get our own gunblades at garden!"_

_She stared. "That's a lot of years from now, sweetheart. Besides, his mother died, the poor thing. So now he's an orphan and he'll be stuck in an orphanage until he's old enough to be taken in at the garden in Balamb."_

"_Can't he live with us, mommy?_

"_I don't think daddy would like that, Seifer…"_

"_What about doggie?" I pointed to the soaked pooch beside me. _

"_Why don't we see if Squall can take the doggie, hm? That could be your goodbye present." She tried to smile, but it wasn't really working._

_I frowned. "What should we name him?"_

"_Hmm…" She put a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "How about Hyperion? Do you like that?"_

"_Yeah!" I clapped my hands together. "Let's go see Squally and give him Hyperion!"_

"_After we fix up your nose, sweetie. I can't believe he hurt you like this."_

"_It's okay, mommy! He has one, too!"_

"_Seifer! You hit him, too?"_

_I blushed and mumbled. "I hit him first."_

_She gaped at me._

"_It was an accident!"_

_Her expression softened. "You're going to miss him, aren't you, Seifer?"_

_At the question, my eyes clouded up with unshed tears. "He's my best friend, mommy…"_

_She held up a mirror to me. "You see that cut?"_

_I nodded._

"_And you gave him one just like it, didn't you?"_

_I nodded again._

_She smiled. "Then you don't have anything to worry about. No matter what happens, you'll always be able to find him. This cut will scar…so you'll never forget who you care about most."_

_I stared at it with a newfound fascination. "Oooooh…"_

"_And someday…when you're old enough, I'll make sure you can go to Balamb Garden, too. But from there, it will be your job to find him again. Can you do that?"_

_I stood up straight at attention. "Yes ma'am!"_

_She laughed and gave me a big smile along with a warm hug. "It's a promise, then. Now let's bandage you up, okay?"_

"_Kay!"_

I could feel something nudging me. _It must be Hyperion._

"Ngggh…five more minutes…doggie…"

There was a muffled voice, and then I received a lovely kick in my side-interrupting my good dreams, and stopping the echo of happy childhood laughter in my head.

"Ow! God dammit, I'm bruised up enough from-" I glanced up to find none other than the ice princess Squall and mimicked his scowl. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"You wouldn't wake up any other way."

I sat up and rubbed my still aching side. "You could have been a little more gentle…"

He frowned more, if that's possible. "I tried. Besides, since when does the word gentle exist in your vocabulary?"

"Since when does it exist in _yours_?"

"That was a lousy comeback."

I eyed Squall suspiciously. "Since when do you care, princess? You're acting a little funny…"

He quirked a brow. "Well, if you're done talking in your sleep and nursing your injuries like a little girl, I'd like to get out of here."

Suddenly, my brain fully awoke, and for the first time, I noticed exactly where we were. The grimy metal walls obviously hadn't been cleaned since the place was built, and the same for the floor. I quickly got to my feet and cringed inwardly. _I slept on THAT?_ I looked around once more before sighing, and I tried to ignore the smug look on Squall's face that told me 'I can read you like a book, but you'll never understand me.' _Yeah, well, I love you, too, asshole._

_That's right…we're in the D-District Prison. Soon to be put to death, I'm sure._ It smelled of mold, blood, puke, and piss, but there wasn't exactly a bottle of FaBreeze anywhere.

"That dream…"

Squall looked at me. "What?"

It all suddenly made perfect sense to me.

"_I like black."_

"_You could at least try other colors."_

"_I wore other colors when I was a kid, until-"_

"_No you didn't."_

"…_how would you know?"_

But I _did_ know. _Squall was…? No, that doesn't make any sense. I would have remembered that. The dream…that was the night of my mother's death. Then how come I never…I never knew how I really got this scar before…it was all blank for that day…until now._ I touched the bumpy skin unconsciously.

"_You know, it was the only way to keep you close by. I was going to make you forget everything…but the best way to keep you in my grasp was to give you a reason to keep coming back. You hated your father for what he did, and that kept you here, my knight."_

"_I'm not your damned knight!"_

"_Yet you've been under my power all these years-as well as your little companion there. It's so ironic that you two met there. I told him not to send you to Balamb-it's too bad we had no other choice. I needed you on the inside in order to destroy them…and now you've failed me. I don't need you anymore."_

_Did she…did she really make me forget everything? If this is all true, then Squall…he was…_

I looked over at him, only to find him touching his own scar, seemingly deep in thought.

_I found him again…I didn't fail you. I kept my promise after all, mom._

"…Squall?"

He looked up at me and blinked as if he had never heard me say his name before. After a couple minutes, he answered hesitantly. "…yeah?"

"What did you dream after they knocked us out?" I watched him for a reaction but he simply frowned.

"Just something stupid from when I was a kid that I didn't remember…"

"About our fight?"

His head snapped up and he stared at me with wide eyes. I reached up and ran a finger down the scar on his face. Amazingly, he didn't slap my hand away. "How did you know that?"

"I don't think it was a dream…"

* * *

I explained my theory to him, but he said nothing.

"Squall…? What do you think?"

"Shut up!" He turned his angry glare on me. "Quit your bullshit! You keep saying my name and acting as if we're still friends after all this time. Things have changed, _Seifer._"

I frowned. "Now, wait a minute, I thought we _are_ friends?"

He turned away. "Yeah, well, maybe the friendship was void after you tried to screw me last night."

"Well, excuse me, princess! When you kissed me back so eagerly, I got the impression that you were enjoying it!"

"Well, I wasn't! I told you, I'm not into guys."

I scowled. "You're so gay that if anyone besides Rinoa showed interest in you, I'd be amazed at their stupidity. Rinoa is actually a gay guy in disguise anyway."

"Just like you're a woman in disguise, right?"

I glared. "Don't pretend that you didn't feel me through our boxers last night."

"No, I'd rather pretend the _whole thing_ didn't happen!"

"Fine! Then we're back to just being friends, asshole!"

"That's fine with me, dye job."

I scowled again. "I'll have you know this is my natural hair color. My mother had it."

He crossed his arms. "I don't remember her."

"That's because you were always too scared to come over! And it seems things haven't changed, huh? You're just a wimpy gay guy with a stick up his ass."

"Fuck you!" Squall promptly planted his fist in my face. I hit him back and it started an all out brawl. Until the door to our cell opened.

"What the hell are you two doing!"

Squall stopped in the middle of throwing another punch and I kicked him one last time. He growled at me, but made no move to give any back.

"This is your food and water, you little shits. Stop making so much noise." The soldier frowned.

"Hey!" I pointed at the small tray he had put down. "There's TWO people in here-or can't you count?"

He smirked. "You don't get more than that, dipshit. Rinoa's orders."

I stared at him. "Since when do you do what some little girl says! Are you even getting _paid_?"

"She's the new sorceress. As long as we do her bidding, we'll own the world one day."

I laughed at him and he stared a minute before coming up and kicking me to the ground. Squall flinched, but made no move to help me.

"I don't give a shit what you little punks think. I'll be back to take you to Sorceress Rinoa later. Then the fun begins." And with that, he turned on his heel and casually walked out.


	16. Chapter 16

I Promise

Wow, this one was quick in coming, wasn't it? I guess I'm still trying to apologize for taking so long. And it's a nice loooong chapter, too. 8 pages in size 10 font. It's kind of 4 in the morning…shit. Oh well. I was asked a very interesting question by _Kamichiee_. So, you get a cookie! The question was, what promise does the title refer to? It's funny, because I never thought about it, myself. It was just the titled I had picked when I was writing it as a ((GASP)) Squall/Rinoa fic back in 7th grade…which was, uh…2001? Shoot me now, right? XD It was meant for the promise stated in the beginning of the game. But, with the story being as changed as it is, I believe it refers to all of them. Every promise made and broken. But will Seifer ever break his promise? This chapter you get to find out what Rinoa did to Squall. Finally!

Also, this chapter is dedicated to _Verdanii_ and _Matron Raenee_ for making me laugh so much. Thanks, guys. And biiiig thanks and hugs to all my reviewers, cause you guys are what keep me goin' and give me ideas! It's scary,but I'm making it all up as I go. I don't have any master outline or anything. So…who knows what'll happen? I mean, unless you call the Squall/Rinoa(which was more Squall/Rinoa/Seifer, cause she's stupid and can't make up her mind) fic an outline. So far, the beginning was similar…but I'm straying further and further…trust me, that's a good thing. I was 13 okay? It was really cheezy and stupid. ((hugs reviewers))

Oooone other thing! It's quick, I promise! I hate Rinoa, I do, but...I don't like making her evil without a reason. Everyone has a reason. Behind every word, thought, and action, there's reason. Even with scum like her. I don't want this to be another one of those 'Well, she's evil because she's evil!' I just want to be practical. I wonder if any of you will figure out her reasoning from this chapter alone?

I admit, I stole ONE phrase and used it in here…but the rest of it is mine. "It's about time you got honest." Belongs to Eiri Yuki from Gravitation, which belongs to Maki-san, who I will bow down to for the rest of my life.

_Verdanii _- Oh, hell yes, this is going to be shit loads of fun. Look, I updated right after your review! Isn't that nice?

_JadeAlmasy_ - they just keep going at it like little kids, don't they? Now that they've found out that they were friends, it's even harder and more awkward for them. Fun, eh?

_Kamichiee_ - Squall's evil, but Rinoa made him that way. So blame her. Yesh, she will die a horrible and gruesome death…thanks for the compliment-I'm so glad it all made sense. I had planned that they had hit each other with sticks since the chapter where I revealed Seifer's mother's death. I had no idea about the rest of it, and the dog just kind of happened. Naming his blade Hyperion kind of shows that maybe he never really forgot. Who says the sorceress can actually erase memories? Wow, that gives me an idea. Again. Thanks! XD

_Matron Raenee_ - I feel your frustration! I, as well as everyone else, are waiting for them to just screw each other into the floorboards already! WHEN! I wish I knew. I won't keep you guys waiting too long, I hope! Well, there's a little fluffiness here for ya, so maybe that will hold everyone for a couple chapters…? XD And thanks sooooo much for your funny reviews and kind words…they really brighten my day. ((hugs)) You're awesome.

_Lilitha _- Yes, Squall is such a bastard for letting Seifer get kicked, right! Don't worry, Seifer doesn't let him get away with it. ((gives Seifer another cookie)) You guys are all so nice to me. ((hugs)) But I'd never make you wait a year, I promise! Wow…that was a little cliché, wasn't it?

_Shizuka-Yuki_ - Heehee…life leaves a lot to be desired, doesn't it? But hey, a bad day actually made me update tonight, so…yay! I used to have this obsession, and I would update everyday. But you know, that takes up even more of my time, and it doesn't give everyone time to review. That was back when I first joined FFN.

_PainfulxRecovery _- Oh, and the plot shall KEEP thickening. And yup, you keep forgetting to force it out of me. Ha ha! Too bad. ((sticks tongue out))

**Since FFN doesn't like letting us have MA ratings anymore, I am currently working on getting an AFF profile and I will be posting this, as well as my other fics up there with REAL lemony goodness to be enjoyed. Cause I'll have to cut most of it from here. Sorry! As soon as I get it up, the link will be in my profile. Not that these two will be having wild sex anytime soon.**

**

* * *

Chapter 16**

I growled and rubbed my still aching sides. "Thanks a lot for helping me, asshole."

"There were more guards outside the door, idiot. Any move I would have made would've been pointless."

I glared at him and then turned away. "What-fucking-ever."

I couldn't see it, but somehow I knew he was watching me. After all, I had stolen his great phrase…and added a twist to it. How dare I!

When he spoke again, his voice was quiet. "You should eat your half…"

"You can go ahead and have it, princess. I'd rather not puke it up when I see Rinoa's face."

He frowned. "You don't know when they're going to feed us next."

"And I don't care."

"What the hell is your problem? Just eat the damn food!"

I glared at him. "And what if I don't? Are you going to feed it to me?"

"I'll cram it down your throat."

"Bring it on, then, princess!"

He was just about to jump for me when the cell door opened again. It was a different guy than before. I'd never forget the face of someone who hit me…because I always extract my revenge.

* * *

We were cuffed and dragged away to some nearly empty room. Then our shirts were removed, our hands chained to the ceiling, and our feet chained to the floor. _What's she going to do? Whip us?_

The soldier left and we were stuck waiting.

"So, how are we going to get out of here?"

"Garden should be sending backup…"

I looked at him. "There's no evidence that they brought us here." He shrugged and I looked back down at the floor. "Besides, since when do they do rescue missions for two stupid kids that decide to go up against a sorceress by themselves? They probably think we're dead…"

"You look alive to me." Rinoa casually waltzed in and smiled.

I quirked a brow. "You'd think that, being an almighty sorceress, you could afford some better attire."

She put her hand to my face lovingly and I tried to resist the urge to bite her. "Well, aren't you funny?" She stepped back. "I've devised the perfect plan for the two of you…" she smiled as if she was the smartest thing the world had ever seen. "I'm going to make you forget everything of each other…and Squall will only remember the good things about me. So he'll be in love with me again, and you'll have to watch, knowing that it's all an act on my part. Won't that be fun, Seifer?"

I gave her a bored look. "You know that the little guy between my legs is smarter than you, right?"

_Smack._

I growled after I has recovered from the hit. _The next time you put your hand near me, you won't have one anymore._

She sauntered towards Squall, and I wished my hand was free so I could mock-gag behind her back. Aren't I so grown up? _But how am I supposed to stop her from erasing our memories? That's worse than any other kind of torture…_

"But I'll get to that tomorrow…because I still have one question."

_Thank Hyne, we still have time to get out of here before we're royally fucked._

Of course, with my inner monologues going, I hadn't heard any of what she wanted. _I'm turning into Squall. _

"What's that?"

She frowned. "You weren't listening?" I shook my head and she smiled. "I said, I'm not a SeeD, and I want to know all about them. That way, I can devise the best plan of defense and attack."

"Are your brains decaying at an irregularly fast rate? You keep saying _devise_ like it makes you sound all sophisticated or something."

She almost faultered, but managed to keep her smile in place. "You think I'm so stupid. Well, I'm NOT! I know exactly how to get you to tell me. I know Squall won't talk…so I'm going to use him as best I can. You don't want the person you love to be raped in front of your very eyes, do you?"

_R-Raped…?_

"What makes you think I'm in love with that asshole? I could care less…what you do…" _No good, no good! I can't convince her, not when I can't convince myself. Because…it's true….isn't it…?_

She gave another all-knowing smile. "I'm not nearly as stupid as you think I am."

_Don't tell me…I underestimated her all this time? But Squall knew how smart she is…he's been tricked before. "The worst thing you can do is underestimate your enemy." That's what you told me, wasn't it…? And I first remembered now. How stupid…_

"So…if you talk, you can save him. If not…" She wrapped her arms around him and licked at his neck…bit his shoulder…

_No, no…this is all wrong. That's…he's mine…he's mine, dammit! I'm the only one who's supposed to touch him like that!_

Squall made no move to struggle and it made me want to beat him senseless.

"I…"

She paused and looked up at me. "Yes?"

"I…"

"Shut up!" Squall gave me his ultimate death glare. "I don't give a shit what happens-keep your mouth shut."

Rinoa was clearly enjoying it. "Noble words, Squall…but I don't know if he'll be able to keep them, when you're screaming my name…"

I saw him roll his eyes before staring at the wall, just…letting it happen.

She slowly and carefully worked her way down his torso, and he clenched his fists. _If only I could let you down…you'd rip her apart with your bare hands…_ But when she started to unbutton his pants, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Stop! I'll tell you whatever you want…"

Squall stared at me. "You idiot! What do you think you're doing?"

"Fuck you! I'm saving your ass!" _For myself._ "To hell if anyone's having you except me."

"…what did you just say?"

"Shit!" _Did I say that out loud?_ "None of your damn business!"

Rinoa signaled to the guards, and they came in. "Take Squally back to his room. I'm going to deal with Seifer now. Squall gave me a strange look as he passed, and I couldn't decipher it. For some reason, it troubled me more than knowing that I was about to sell out Balamb garden so the sorceress could destroy it. As soon as he was gone, she grabbed a chair from the corner and sat down in front of me. "Now, unless you want the guards to hold him down while I screw him senseless, you better start talking."

* * *

I was thrown, face first, back into the cell. Squall looked at me blankly…before hitting me.

"Ow! What the fuck was that for you asshole?"

"I can't believe you told her. Hundreds of people are going to die because of your stupidity!"

I growled. "I obviously lied about it all! Damn! Well, if this is the thanks I get, next time I'll leave your sensitive ass to rot."

"You should have."

I blinked, the anger completely gone. "…why?"

"Because it doesn't matter. I don't care."

I shoved him up against the wall. "What exactly doesn't matter, huh? Yourself, getting screwed by princess bitch, or the fact that I love you?"

He blinked and stared at me. "You…what?"

"Look." I frowned. "I'm getting tired of playing this stupid game of 'Let this little mystery keep you up at night, Seifer!' It's about time you got honest."

He gladly returned the frown and added a glare. "Get honest about _what_? It's not like I sit around thinking of lies to tell you."

"What did Rinoa really do to you?"

Squall stiffened at the question, and I let him go.

"None of your business…"

"Don't give me that bullshit when I just confessed my feelings to you like some god damned love sick school girl."

"It was a long time ago…" He crossed his arms and turned away from me to stare at the grimy wall.

"_Alright everyone. Settle down!" Quistis rapped her hand on the desk to get the quiet she was looking for. "This is our new student, Miss Rinoa Heartilly. Please be kind to her and give her any assistance she might need." She looked around the room. "Why don't you sit next to Squall? Squall! Raise your hand!"_

"I was quiet back then…but I wasn't angry."

_The unhappy looking boy in the back of the room reluctantly raised his hand. It figured he had to be the only one in the room with no one next to him. _

_Rinoa practically skipped to the back of the room and sat beside him. "What's your last name, Squall?"_

"…_Leonhart."_

_She smiled. "That's so great! It fits you perfectly!" When he made no comment, she added. "Because, this is a lion, isn't it?" She moved to touch the pendant around his neck, but he flinched at the contact and scooted away. She tilted her head to the side and watched him, most likely wondering why he acted the way he did. "It's special, huh?"_

_Squall nodded, and that was the end of that. _

"But Rinoa never let anything go."

_When lunch came, she easily found the lone figure sitting at the corner table, staring out the window. "Can I sit here?" At his shrug, she took it upon herself to sit across from him. "This food isn't very good, is it?" Another shrug from him, and she looked out the window, to see whatever could be so amazingly enticing that he would stare like that. However, all she saw was birds sitting in a tree. Some flew away and she took another stab at conversation. "It would be nice to be a bird, wouldn't it? You could fly away from here…"_

"_Until you get shot down."_

_She said nothing for the rest of the period._

"I thought she was too polite to just get up and leave right then, and that she would leave me alone from then on. But everyday she asked the same stupid questions. I finally got tired of hearing them…"

"_Will you just shut up?"_

_She stared, looking hurt. "I-I didn't mean…"_

"_My mother died when I was little and all she left was this chain that apparently used to belong to my stupid father-whoever he was. Then I sat in some damn orphanage until I was old enough to be shipped off here, and that's IT. So stop asking."_

_But she wasn't angry. "It…must have been so lonely. My father and mother are rich, so I can't imagine…"_

"_I don't need your pity."_

"_I-I'm not trying to pity you! I'm…just trying to understand you. I want to be friends."_

"The rational part of me wanted me to tell her to take her idealistic views of friendship and shove them up her ass, but…she was the first person who ever tried. So the other part of me decided it was stupid to let a could-be friend slip through my fingers, since I may never have found any others…but I still didn't want to open up too much. Problem was, once she got her damn foot in the door, she wedged her way in, little by little. I Ended up telling her…everything."

"_You know…you don't have to be afraid, Squall."_

_He growled. "I'm not afraid."_

"_Don't be silly. Everyone's afraid of something…and I think you're afraid of being alone. That's why you've been alone, isn't it?"_

"_I…"_

"_But you don't have to worry! We'll be friends forever…I'll never leave your side! I promise." She leaned in and kissed him._

"Promises are cheap. Just because I let my guard down…just like that, she was my 'girlfriend'. But since I had told her everything there was to know, the mysterious Squall Leonhart was gone, just leaving this…boring idiot. I didn't want to do all those idiotic lovey-dovey bullshit things that you read in 99 cent paperback romance novels, like she did."

"_Squall, how come you never want to do anything with me?"_

"_I never said-"_

"_You don't have to. You just never do anything."_

"_Well…"_

"_Do you love me?"_

"_I…"_

"_I said, do you love me?"_

"_Yes…"_

"_Then love me."_

_Squall stared. "What?"_

"_Make love to me, Squall. You never say it, I can never feel it…so show me."_

"She had condoms ready, so there was no backing out."

"Um, you couldn't have said 'No thanks, I don't want any'?"

"Shut up! Do you want to hear this story or not?"

"Ok, ok, ok."

"_Squall…when we're a little older…I want to marry you."_

"…_what?"_

"_I want to be with you forever…and make our promises real."_

"_Okay."_

"_You want to? Promise?_

"_I promise."_

"After a couple weeks of screwing around with me all the time, she must have gotten bored again. She hired some stupid thug to kiss me. And that thug just happened to be Irvine. He'd do anything for a night with a pretty girl."

"Oh, when I get my hands on that piece of shit next…"

"I never asked for your help! Besides, I've let it go already, idiot."

"How'd you even find out it was him?"

"He apologized and told me later."

"…oh."

"_I can't believe you cheated on me, Squall."_

"_I didn't! I don't even know who he was. And I pushed him away!"_

_Rinoa frowned. "I'm sorry, I'm not buying your lies."_

"_I'm not lying!"_

"_This is goodbye, Squall."_

"_W-What? No…"_

"_Sorry, but it just has to be done." She starting gathering her things into her bag to take back to her own dorm._

"_Wait-Rin, please…"_

"_Rin?" She looked at him. "Now isn't the time to be making up pet names to call me, Squall. You never did love me, did you?"_

"_I did! I…do."_

_She smiled. "It's okay…I understand."_

"_Y-You do…? So that means…"_

_The smile stayed firmly in place. "I hate you, Squall."_

_He stared, bewildered. "…what…?"_

"_I don't ever want to see you again, Squall. Not if I can help it. You never loved me and you never kept any of your promises. You were using me! And I want nothing to do with you anymore. Never again." She smiled again. "Goodbye Squall." She walked out and shut the door behind her._

_Squall slumped against the nearest wall and let the tears flow._

"It took a long time to get my shit back together. But by then…I hated everything." He looked down. "I hated everyone. I wanted to die, and didn't care if I did, but couldn't do it to myself…just in case…she came back to me. But seeing her with everyone else, and Irvine's confession to her buying his help…I finally figured out that she'd made up the whole thing. She'd fucked with me and thrown me away. So now…I still hate everything. I still hate everyone, and you're no exception. I was stupid enough to call you my friend, I'm not going to be stupid enough to call you my lover."

I stared at him "Squall…" _What…unimaginable pain. _

"Don't, Seifer. Just don't."

_How could anyone…? Seeing you as I do now, how could anyone…do something so fucking disgusting? And when I first met you…I was no different from her. I wanted to use you and throw you away. It's become so much more than that…can't you see?_

I pulled him into my arms and held him against me tightly.

He stiffened automatically. "What are you-"

"Never again…" I buried my face in his hair and mumbled. "You won't ever have to feel that way again. I promised you it before…"

After a moment, he let his head fall against my chest. "Promises are cheap. Especially from you, asshole."

"I love you, too, princess."

"The fuck? Since when-I never said…"

"Squall."

"What?"

"…shut the hell up already."

He stared at me, apparently baffled, and I took that chance to kiss him.

_You've never felt love before…well, neither have I. But I…I'll show you what true love is._

_Fuck, I'm so damn girly!_


	17. Chapter 17

I Promise

Whee! Well, hello all and Happy (late) Thanksgiving, for those who celebrate it! As you all may or may not know, FFN does not allow review responses in chapters anymore. Therefore, I will respond through email or your profiles if the review is signed in some way, or for those who review but leave me no way to contact them, I'd like to dedicate my chapters to you from now on, to show my appreciation. You guys are all so great.

I made a funny GIF icon to go with this story! I want to put the link, but this thing is being a BITCH, so...go to photobucket and my album is shinigamiakumu it should be on the first page. Okay? Tell me what you think.

Inspiration comes in all forms…including The Punisher video game's Frank Castle saying "Spill your guts or I'll spill them for you" and "You look like you have something to tell me." and then Metal Gear Solid's catsup idea, that was wicked cool.

**

* * *

Chapter 17 **

Squall quickly pushed me away and glared. "What the hell are you doing? We're stuck here, in a prison cell, about to have our memories erased, and all you can think about is screwing me!"

I thought about it, then nodded. "Mmhmm." Luckily, I saw the hit coming and was able to block it. "Ha ha…you're so predictable."

He frowned. "No I'm not."

"Hey, there is something I want to know, though."

"Too bad. You've filled your quota of questions to ask for today."

I ignored him and decided to ask anyway-it's not like we had anything better to do. "What happened when you went home from the fight that one day?"

He frowned again and looked away. "The woman that supposed to take me to the orphanage was dead, and there was someone else there…the sorceress. I guess that's when she erased my memories."

_So my mother wasn't the only person she killed to get to us…_ "Then how did you ever get to the orphanage?"

He quirked a brow. "Don't be stupid. When their agent never returned, they sent someone."

"And you didn't call the cops? Who's the stupid one here, huh?"

He growled. "I was little and scared, okay!"

I mock-gasped. "The GREAT Squall Leonhart? Scared? Be still my beating-"

"Shut the fuck up already!"

My smirk fell and I could only stare at his angry expression. _What did I…?_

"I'm not great at all, so just shut up already with your stupid shit."

_Not great…?_ "Of course you're-"

"Just shut up, Seifer…"

The door to our cell opened and the same asshole that brought food before came in with more of it. "Well, ain't this a surprise? You shits are actually bein' quiet."

I glared and wanted to jump him so badly, but it was like Squall had said-with more of them out there, we don't stand a chance.

"Try not to kill each other too quickly-that's no fun." And again he was gone. That's when the idea hit me.

"Squall, lie down in the corner over there."

He stared at me. "Why?"

"Because it's the darkest one."

He looked at the food as if it was poisoned. "And that means what to me?"

"It means we can get out of here, you idiot."

His head snapped up and he stared at me. "You actually came up with a plan?"

"…are you trying to say I'm too stupid to do that or what?"

He frowned. "I didn't say that."

I tried not to, but I couldn't hold back my laugher. "It's a JOKE, Squall. A joke. You know-funny, ha ha?"

"It wasn't very funny."

I frowned this time. "Oh, just shut your pie hole and get in the damn corner!"

It was also the grimiest corner, and I could see his disgust as he sat down, careful not to touch the wall. I gave an exasperated sigh and crouched down in front of him. I reached out and he flinched before I could even touch him.

"What are you doing?"

I quirked a brow. "Trying to help you look a little more dead." His response being a simple blink, I reached out again and made him lean against the wall, more slumped, but when I touched his legs to part them just a little, he jumped.

"You don't need to touch me! You could just tell me what you want me to do-this isn't the time to try and take advantage of me, asshole."

_Well, I didn't think of it like that, but now that you mention it…_ I grinned and leaned close to whisper in his ear. "Spread your legs for me…"

He went completely stiff and pushed me away before complying. "Get away from me."

"Sorry, we're not done yet, princess." I grabbed the catsup packets from the tray and held them up in front of him.

Squall frowned. "No way. This shirt is white-it'll never come out."

_And I thought **I** was girly? Geez. "_If you don't look like I really hurt you, they won't care."

He sighed and let his head fall back against the wall. "I don't think they're care either way, but…whatever."

"Whatever." I agreed and opened the packets, smearing the red paste all over his shirt. Then I ripped a few small holes, but he didn't protest this time, just groaned in unhappiness. _…you have no idea how arousing that sound was, do you? You probably have no clue how damn sexy you are!_ I shook my head sadly. _How stupid._ I stood and walked over to the door, looking out the small barred window and waiting for a small group of soldiers to pass.

After about a half hour Squall mumbled "This is so stupid."

"Shut up, here someone comes."

The same guy who brought us food and had hit me before was going past-alone.

_Oooh, now isn't this lucky?_ "Hey! You! Food guy!"

He glared in my direction and approached, and I looked over my shoulder to make sure Squall had his eyes closed. _If it wasn't for the catsup, you'd look so-_

"What the hell do you want, kid?"

I smirked. "I think I hit the princess a few too many times." I threw my thumb over my shoulder to indicate the 'dead' figure against the wall.

The man gaped. "Oh no! Sorceress Rinoa will kill you! How could you be so stupid!" He quickly unlocked the doors and ran past me, to check Squall's pulse. I walked up behind him as he knelt down, and used the metal food tray to hit him over the head as hard as possible, knocking him out. He landed on Squall's leg and the brunette frowned in irritation and kicked him off before standing.

"I can't believe that stupid plan worked."

"Or you just don't want to admit it was a good idea."

"Because it wasn't. You're lucky this guy was as idiotic as you are."

I frowned. "…look, if you can't appreciate me getting us out of here, I'll leave you behind to be Rinoa's play thing."

He crossed his arms. "Do whatever you want."

_Dammit…you'll never learn to say sorry, will you? _"…"

According to what I'd read about the place before, we'd have to go down in order to get out, but that was pretty logical with any building. We sprinted for the stairs and began our decent.

* * *

All went smoothly for a couple floors, when I suddenly remembered. "Hyperion…" 

"What?"

"Our gunblades, you idiot!"

Squall frowned. "We have no way of knowing where they are."

"Then we beat someone up and ask. Speaking of that…" I gestured to the guy who was coming down the stairs. We both hid on either side of the banister and waited until the man reached the bottom before grabbing him. I held onto him to let Squall interrogate.

"Spill your guts or I'll spill them for you." _Oh, aren't you cool now?_

"W-What!"

"Where are our gunblades being kept?"

"I-I don't know!"

Squall frowned. "I think you do." Then he planted his fist in the man's stomach, causing him to cry out in pain. "I'm not asking again."

"I told you, I don't know anything!"

He drew back his fist again and the man flinched automatically.

"Okay! I-It's…Sorceress Rinoa has them!"

Squall's frown deepened, and he knocked the guy out with a blow to the face. "She knew we were going to try and escape."

I dropped the guy. "Well, that tray was our dinner, right? If she's sleeping, we can just snatch them and get the hell out."

Squall thought about it. "I should have asked where her room was."

* * *

A couple interrogations later, we learned her room was up on the very top floor. It put us both in a nasty mood, considering we'd gone nearly all the way down, just to find out we had to go all the way up. 

"Where's the damn elevator in this place?"

"They obviously don't have one."

I glared at him. "You expect me to believe that every time princess bitch has to leave this place she nicely walks down all of these stairs with no complaint? Yeah, right. And what's the big whole down the center of this place for?"

Squall shrugged, but it wasn't like I expected him to know. "Let's ask someone."

I was getting sick of it, but nodded anyway. After going up all the way back to where our cell had been, and up another two floors, we found a guy who appeared to be operating machinery, yet there was nothing there. I easily grabbed a hold of him and he stared at Squall wide-eyed.

"You look like you have something to tell me."

"I know nothing!"

"Let's start with what you're doing here, with these controls."

"It is nothing important! Just an elevator, of sorts, that transports prisoners to the level of their holding cells!"

I smirked from behind him. "Then you're going to operate it for us."

Squall quirked a brow. "Are you stupid? He'll run for help the first chance he gets."

"D-Don't kill me! I will do whatever you want!"

"Whatever." Squall knocked him out. "You operate it, and I'll get our weapons."

"You're trusting ME to operate this thing?"

"No, but you're clumsy and would probably wind up waking her." He frowned and thought for a moment. "Forget it, I know you couldn't make this thing work. I'll be ready to bring you back quickly if you screw up-which you better _not_."

"Or _what_, princess?"

"I'll cram up gunblade so far up your ass that it'll come out the other side."

I mock gasped. "Not my ass! Well, not that you'll ever be on top…" I dodged his fist. "Ok, ok, ok. I get it. Let's do this."

He nodded and pushed a few buttons, summoning the elevator to come to the level we were on. "I'll put you on the second highest floor, so the sounds from it don't wake her up."

"How considerate." When it finally came up I got on. "You better be ready to take me down if there's an emergency,"

Squall simply nodded again. "I've got it." And with the push of a few more buttons, it began moving. I waved while he just watched me. Considering how much we'd been together, it felt strange being separated, and I didn't like it.

And although we'd been near each other constantly, nothing had happened. Even after our pasts were revealed to us and our childhoods linked, and even knowing things about each other that we had never known before…even with those three special words, he still pushed me away. _What will it take…to get you to love me?_

The elevator's sudden halt jerked me out of my thoughts, and it was time to focus on the task at hand. Silently climbing the stairs to my right, I peaked up at the next floor, but there were no guards. _What the…?_ I shrugged it off and looked around. There was another set of stairs that probably lead up to the roof, but I wasn't worried about it. _Can't exactly jump down. _Most rooms were offices, and this floor was the cleanest one. The room that stood out, was one with a pink door. _Make me gag._

Searching the floor one more time for any signs of movement, I cautiously opened the door as silently as I could, and slipped inside. Everything was either pink or baby blue and it almost reminded me of a baby's room-not that I'd ever really seen one. The bed was large and expensive looking as if she planned to have someone else there to sleep with her.

_That's right…she planned to erase our memories…Squall would have been the one here. I'll never let that happen._

I could just barely see her sleeping form through the pink curtains, and decided that was enough sight seeing for today. Giving a quick look around before going into any extensive searing, I found the gunblades to be right atop her dresser. I quietly sighed with relief and picked them up quietly. Mine was wonderful about being silent in cooperation with me, but Squall just had to have the damn lion chain on the end, to match the one around his neck, and it jingled just a little. I held the chain in my hand with the end of the handle so it wouldn't make anymore noise. Then it hit me.

_She's asleep. I could kill her now._

"_It isn't that simple. We need someone responsible to pass the powers to-"_

_Can the powers be passed onto guys? Why only women? That's so damn stupid. But if I kill her now, we'd have a better chance, wouldn't we? Then we could just take her body back and make Quistis take the powers or something. This could be our only chance to do this easily…_

I parted the curtain and towered over her, and held my gunblade up.

Just as I was about to remove her head from her body, her eyes popped open and stared at me coldly.

"Took you long enough…Seifer."


	18. Chapter 18

I Promise

Wow, this chapter took a few extra days. Sorry for the wait. For some reason, I had a hard time. A lack of inspiration, I think. I started it off crappy, came back and started in the middle crappy, then fixed it, then finished, then fixed it all again. Usually the process isn't that drawn out, but this chapter was a tough nut to crack(HA, almost typoed CRAP. XD). Also, I started noticing that my wording was getting a little advanced-that's not bad for me, but Seifer doesn't talk like that. So I had to watch myself. Luckily, his lovely sarcasm pours out of my head naturally. This chapter doesn't have TOO much excitement to it-well, depends how you look at it. But the next chapter might. **Here's a poll: Kill Rinoa sooner or later?** Cause there will be bigger fish to fry, but killing Rinoa at the proper time is important. I'd hate to kill her off next chapter if you all think it's too soon. She hasn't been able to do much to them yet, but she also just became a sorceress, so she's not so talented. She'd be easier to take down than Marnia. So, what do YOU guys think?

Thanks to all who reviewed! I'm pretty sure I replied to everyone…if not, I'm soooo sorry!

**

* * *

Chapter 18**

"Took you long enough…Seifer."

"Holy shit!" I jumped back and pointed my blade at her, although I think I was more afraid of her than she was of me. "How the hell did you-"

"_Where are our gunblades being kept?"_

"_Okay! I-It's…Sorceress Rinoa has them!"_

"_She knew we were going to try and escape."_

_SHIT! That's right! She knew! And yet that asshole sent me up here! When I see him again-_

"_Whatever. You operate it, and I'll get our weapons."_

"_You're trusting ME to operate this thing?"_

_That's right…Squall offered to go up first. Way to make a guy feel guilty. Stupid memories._

"If you're done talking to yourself, I'd like those back."

I sent a glare her way. "They weren't yours to begin with."

"You know, there's no way out of here." She smiled. "I'm going to erase his memories and alter yours. You're going to be sorry you ever messed with my Squall."

"He doesn't belong to _anyone_, princess! People aren't possessions or toys!" _I'm starting to sound like…_

She tried her best to look innocent. "No? But wasn't he just a toy when you first came here?"

I growled. "That was a long time ago."

She took a step closer. "It couldn't have been more than a year…and you still want to play with him, don't you?"

_Keep her talking, just get her a little closer…_

"I would never _force _him to do anything…"

She smiled with that all-knowing look. "So you admit you still want to play. But, you see Seifer, the only way to ever get Squall to do anything is if you force him. I was a girl and he wouldn't even hold my hand in public. You're a _man_-that's a forbidden relationship. Do you think he'll ever accept you?" She took another step closer. "And even if he accepted you in private, he'd still be fair game in public."

_That can't…no! I can't let her make me screw this up. I'll figure out that part later. That's not even important if we can't get the hell out of here._

"I'm not too worried about it, princess. He just didn't love you, that's all."

She frowned. "He did, and that's why I have to get him back, so I can be more patient with him. He just needed more time. But you-you disgusting _fag_! He could never love you!"

_I've heard that one enough times…hell, I've told it to MYSELF._

I smirked. "Really? That's not what he told me last night."

She lunged at me, and I held out Squall's gunblade with perfect aim. She saw it at the last second and shifted to the right, so it only cut her arm before she hit the floor.

_Aw, damn. How great would it have been for you to die on his blade? He would have paid money to see that._

"Well, it's been a lovely chat, princess, but I have what I need, and I'm gonna go now." I turned on my heel and tore out of there as fast as I could. I took the stairs two at a time and almost fell down them a couple times. As soon as I skidded to a halt inside the elevator, I pushed the green button that would signal to Squall to bring me back. As it started moving I sighed with relief and turned around, coming face to face with Rinoa.

"Holy shit! How did you follow me!"

She smiled. "I have all kinds of neat tricks…want me to show you?"

I turned around again and hit the red emergency stop button. In a second, Squall's voice came out over the speaker. "What the hell are you doing, idiot?"

Rinoa started to pull at my arm, but I grabbed the little microphone. "Forget it! Get out of here!"

She smiled again. "He can't. I've blocked all the exits."

I didn't know he could hear everything.

"Yeah, well, he isn't as stupid as you. He'll think of something."

"And what about you, Seifer? How's that for love when he leaves you to rot?"

"I don't give a shit about me, as long as he gets out." _Funny…it used to be that I only cared for myself._ "It's better than your twisted 'fuck me if you love me' bullshit!"

She gaped, then frowned. "And Squall used to be so quiet…it doesn't matter. I'll punish him more for it later."

"And how's that? You'd hurt your _dear_ Squally-Wally?"

She giggled and the eerie sound of it almost made my blood run cold. "Noooo, silly! I'll punish him through punishing _you_. You'll watch us be happy together ever day…and _suffer_ knowing you could _never_ make him as happy as I do. You're _pathetic_, trying to take him for yourself! You…you selfish bastard! I hate you!"

_Aren't you…doing the same thing? _

"…are you done yet?"

"Not even close." She frowned. "I won't be done until you would rather kill yourself than watch us. I won't be through until you're _dead_."

_Who a person loves…shouldn't that be their own choice? You don't care, though, do you? _

_But then…all this time…I've been pushing myself at Squall, even if most of it was joking-yet not. Does that make us the same?_

_This is so damn irritating! I'm going to take all my frustration and use it to beat you over the head! Sound good?_

We stood silently for a few minutes, watching each other as to who would make the first move. I faked a jab with my gunblade, and she ducked, effectively giving me enough space to throw Squall's weapon out to him. He caught it perfectly, of course. _Damn show off._ Not that I had wanted him to drop it.

"What the hell are you doing? I told you to get out of here." But silently, I was pleased. _You came back for me? Does that mean-well, okay. I won't push it._

"If I'm stupid enough to call you my friend, I'm stupid enough not to leave you behind."

I couldn't stop the grin that broke out on my face. "So is that Friday or Saturday?"

He stared at me blankly. "…what?"

"Our first date. I'm always free, but I need to know when's best for you."

He sent me his trademark death glare. "I'm NOT dating you, asshole!"

"Oh, come on…if we get out of here alive, at least _think_ about it?" I tried my best to look pathetic.

"…" Squall frowned, and averted his eyes. "…I'll _think_ about it."

"Yes!"

"Don't get your hopes up!" He growled. "Who'd want to date an asshole like you?"

_You, apparently!_

And the only thing that stopped me from doing a little victory dance was princess bitch taking a swipe at me with a bright blue blade she had attached to her wrist. I'd seen them before, and knew they could be shot at an enemy-luckily, I was much too close for that. "Hellooo! I'm still here!"

I thrust my gunblade at her in return, but she jumped back, almost falling out of the elevator, considering it didn't have doors.

_I need to get out of this fucking cramped space! _

But about the same time I thought it, she rushed in close to me and pressed the cold blade to my throat.

"You're not taking Squall from me."

"You know, you have this obsession withthinking everythingis yours, when it isn't. How can I take from you what isn't yours? Your parents never taught you how to share, did they?"

She pressed the blade closer.

_Ow, fuck! Remind me to shut my damn mouth when someone has asharp objectIN MY FACE. Squall, pass me the invisible duct tape that's always on your lips!_

"Let him go Rinoa. He has nothing to do with this." Squall stepped onto the elevator.

"D-Don't come any closer, or I'll kill him! He has everything to do with this!"

Squall's frown deepened. "I never said I cared about him-he's just a gay pervert."

_Oh, gee, thanks a bunch! What does that make you? A gay **closet **pervert?_

"Then I should kill him anyway! And we can be happy!" She was getting hysterical, and with each exclamation, I felt closer and closer to death.

"I never said I loved you, either."

"W-What!"

Her sudden movement pushed the blade too far into my skin and cut it.

"Fuck!" I hissed. "Nice going Einstein!" _Ah, hurts like a bitch! You obviously have no skill with women!_

I took advantage of everyone's surprise to kick Rinoa away from me, pulling Squall closer at the same time. She fell out of the elevator, hitting her head on the floor, and curling up automatically. I hoped it would keep her busy for a moment.

"Give me your shirt."

Squall stared at me as if I had just asked for a strip show. "What?"

I pointed to my neck, where I could feel the warm blood trickling down. "This is your fucking fault, and you're not going to help me? Would you like to carry my heavy ass out of here when I black out?"

He blinked, and seemed to be thinking 'You just called yourself fat.' At least…that's what it _seemed_ like. Knowing him, it was probably something more serious than that on his mind.

"I'm heavier than you because I'm taller-with more muscle!"

He covered his face with a gloved hand. "You're so fucking ridiculous. Worried about looking _fat_ when you could be bleeding to death? Moron."

_Well, it was a shallow cut on 'accident', so I don't think I'll die too quickly. _

He carefully ripped the shirt off, and I tried not to drool. The pain flew away as I watched his lean-muscled chest. He didn't look too happy, but I'm sure the shirt was no loss to him-I mean, it had holes and catsup on it, and he has a million more anyway. He picked a clean strip, reaching up to wrap it on me.

_Wha?_

"Lean down a little."

Another grin spread over my face. "Too tall for you, shorty?"

He frowned. "Shut the hell up! Do you want my help or not?"

_Damn it! How come you can always get me to do what you want like that? Can't you ever play along? It's like you hate anything to do with me…_

I leaned down, trying to make myself even with him, since I towered over the little guy by almost a foot. To test, I moved closer and kissed him quickly.

"Yup, I've got the height right." I said before he could kill me for it.

He glared and mumbled "You're such an asshole…" He continued wrapping up my neck, but pulled a little too hard.

"Agh-little too tight there."

He frowned. "This is ridiculous. It has to be tight to stop the bleeding, but if it's too tight, it'll cut off your air."

"And who's fault is _that_?"

"Mine." His frown deepened, and an emotion briefly flashed across his face-was it guilt? He reached his arms around my neck to pass the cloth to his other hand-it would have been _romantic_ under other circumstances.

_It was…just a joke. I don't…I don't blame you for it._

"No, it's Rinoa's fault."

He froze and glanced back up to my face, trying to figure out if I was as serious as I sounded. His arms resumed their motion, coming back in front of me. "No, it's my fault. Even you said so."

I sighed. "You're such a stubborn bastard, you know that? If I said it's not-"

"L-Let go of Squall!"

Said unhappy boy finished tying it off and turned around. "He wasn't holding onto me."

"You DO like Seifer! O-Otherwise…" She sounded like a frightened little girl, learning how horrible the real world is for the first time. "…otherwise you'd be cold to him…like everyone else."

_Daaamn, you must have hit your head harder than I thought if you finally understand that._

I smirked. "Get used to it, princess. No one can get a reaction out of Squall like I can."

Blue eyes sent me a glare, and I knew that if it wasn't for my injury that Squall would have hit me. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Uh…well, I-ah…" I paused. "You got any tape?"

It was extremely amusing to watch his anger melt into confusion-_if only I had a mirror_. "I tied it off well enough. It should stay until we get to…" He trailed off as I started laughing, even though it hurt my throat. "The hell is so funny?" I just shook my head as I tried to calm myself down. _"Oh, I need it to keep my big mouth shut-I keep saying the wrong things today!"-I think not._ "Remind me to just knock you out next time-you're annoying even when you're wounded."

Sadly, that just made me laugh more, but it also gave me time to sort out an excuse.

"It's just…" I gasped for air. "…Rinoa's outfit is so _stupid_. I mean, it has _angel_ wings on the back. She's anything BUT an angel, so…I mean, unless that's the point..."

Rinoa glared as best as an unintimidating little thing like her can, and stalked towards us.

Squall sighed.

"Uh oh…she's _mad_ now, isn't she?"

Squall gave me a much more intimidating-but to hell if I ever told him so-glare. "No shit, Sherlock."

_Sherlock? Oh, I see how it is._

"So then, _Watson_…about that tape…"


	19. Chapter 19

I Promise

Okay, I know…it's been a LONG time. You can yell at me, it's alright. I understand your frustration. I've been a little frustrated, myself. ((bows)) Please forgive my lateness. I wanted this out before Christmas…honestly, I did! But preperations for such took up more time than I thought. And then there was new years, writer's block and general laziness and I really have no excuse. I'm soooo sorry! So, to make up for it, this chapter is pretty long, I think. Not to mention you guys get some stuff to squeal about at the end…or cry. Maybe squeal and THEN cry. That sounds good. Yeah. Anyway, Merry Belated Christmas(or whichever holiday you happen to celebrate!) and Happy Belated New Year! My new years resolution? UPDATE FASTER! I love you all for reviewing! Thank you! A special thanks to _Angry Angel_ and _PainfulxRecovery_ for helping me get rid of my writer's block, too.

I got an amazingly funny idea from _kohaku-the-dark-angel_! So, this is what I made up for it, just a little joke that could have been in the last chapter somewhere. (But I realize that in the PM to you I forgot to make it in Seifer's point of view! x.x)

"...Seifer."

"Yeah?"

"Take off your boot."

I gaped at him. "Right now?"

Squall nodded, and eventually I complied.

"Okay, and this accomplishes...what, exactly?"

"Now give me your sock."

"My...sock?"

Squall nodded again.

I quirked an eyebrow. "I've heard of fetishes where people like to keep their lover's underwear...but my _sock_?"

Squall twitched. "Just give me the damn sock!"

I did as I was told again. "Okay, but I don't know how this-MMMF!"

Squall stuffed the sock into my mouth. "There." He smirked. " Now. Shut. Up."

I quickly spit the offending material out. "AGH! You...you _shit_! That's _so_..." I trailed off, then pulled Squall close and kissed him. Taking advantage of his complete surprise, I quickly slipped my tongue into the brunette's mouth before pulling back so the boy couldn't bite my tongue off.

Squall looked completely appalled. "UGH-you taste _disgusting_, asshole!"

_I've heard that one from you before. _I smirked. "It's just like I shoved the sock into _your_ mouth...only _better_."

"…I hate you."

Okay, now the REAL chapter begins! Note: You should listen to DHT doing "Listen to Your Heart" during this or at least at the end. Awesome song.

**

* * *

Chapter 19**

Women are supposed to be really intimidating when they're mad, but Rinoa's face just made me want to burst out laughing. I've never met _anyone_ more intimidating than Squall(except maybe that handsome guy I see in the mirror every morning, eh?)…not that I would ever give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

So, for lack of a better plan, I rushed at her like an oversized-yet skinny, cause I am _not_ fat-football player. Small, _gentle_ girls like her get scared easily, right?

She side stepped my tackle with ease, and I skidded to a stop, whipping around to make sure she wouldn't try to attack me yet.

Squall stared at me blankly. "Are you out of your mind? Not that you had much of one to start with…"

I sent a glare his way. "I'm out of _ideas_."

"That's good to know." Rinoa smirked. _Still playing goody-good after everything, huh?_

Then it came to me. "Squall-rush me!"

The brunette stared at me stupidly in response. "…_rush_ you?"

I gaped at him. "Haven't you ever played football-or any game for that matter-in your _life_?"

"Excuse me for not being a lame jock strap like you." He crossed his arms.

"…I take great offense to that."

"Sure you do."

_Fuck! This isn't going to work if I have to spell it out for him! When we get back, I am definitely making his pretty ass sit down and watch a game with me. I can't afford for him not to know this simple shit._

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Rinoa, look! Is that something on Squall's _perfect_ face?"

Said boy frowned at the implication that his face just _miiiiight_ not be as flawless as he thinks.

"What?" She looked him over carefully. "Where?"

"On his chin…" While she was preoccupied with searching Squall's face for imperfections, I tried to show him what my plan was without words. _God damn, I hate charades. _Sadly, he was a little preoccupied with making sure she didn't actually touch him. I covered my face with a gloved hand-mostly out of embarrassment. _I can't believe I like this asshole…_ But when I looked up, I was surprised when he gave me a small nod, indicating that he understood…I think. _Oh man…if he doesn't actually understand, this is going to turn into a fucking circus. At least Rinoa is pretty harmless…right now, anyway._

After taking a few steps away from her, Squall pointed at her clothes randomly. "Is that a stain?"

She blinked and looked down. "Oh my god! A stain? Where?"

_And he calls ME lame? Fuck._

While she was busy searching for the invisible ink and talking to herself about killing the people at the cleaners, Squall took a few more steps back and smashed into her sideways, like a miniature version of a real football player, and down she tumbled-over the edge and down the hole. We stood side by side on the ledge, listening to her scream and waiting to hear the sickening thud when she reached the bottom…but her scream became as quiet as a whisper and we never got a thump of closure.

Squall frowned. "Do you think she's dead?"

I took a peak down the hole, then looked back at him. "I don't see how she could be _alive_-does _that_ answer your question?"

He rolled his eyes and turned away, more than ready to find an escape route after the almost disaster.

I reached out and took hold of his shoulder. "Hey…"

"…yeah?" _One of the first times you've answered me normally! I could CRY._

"If you ever get a little-well, a _lot_-bigger, I'll be happy to have you on my team the next time we play football."

The obviously offended brunette slapped away my hand and gave me a cold glare. "Fuck you, Almasy."

"Aww, I love you, too, princess!" I reached for him, ready to give a bear hug, but he slipped out of my range.

Squall crossed his arms. "What the hell is wrong with you? That's at least the second time you've said that."

"Said _what_?" _Maybe if I make you say it you'll actually acknowledge it?_

"That you…you…" He turned away. "Stop being such an asshole. You better cut this shit out by the time we get back to Garden." _So…you couldn't say it after all. Are you still stuck on thinking this is some kind of sick joke?_

"…and if I'm serious?"

He spared me a bored glance over his shoulder accompanied with an icy glare. "You're _not._" And with that he stalked back towards the elevator.

…_how the fuck would you know?_

* * *

Roughly 30 seconds later, the entire complex began to shake. All the red warning lights began flashing while an annoying robotic voice came over the intercom: "Warning: Intruder alert. The facility will now be moving underground. Please remain at your stations. Repeat: warning: intruder alert."

"This shit hole is going to go underground to trap us?"

Squall shrugged. "We're already at the top, so let's get to the roof."

So up the ladder we went and waited for the place to come to a stop. I looked down over the edge to see what was going on. "Hey, you know, this thing is shaped like one giant-"

"I don't want to know."

"Humph." I crossed my arms. "I wasn't going to say anything bad."

"Right."

After the thing reached the ground, escape was easy. We just…walked off. There was no one there to stop us and probably too many floors for them to search before they'd find we were no longer there. With Rinoa dead, they had no reason to come after us either. At least, that's what we hoped.

* * *

"So…where are we exactly?"

Squall let out a small sigh of frustration and ran a gloved hand through his hair. "I don't know."

"Uh huh…and which way are we supposed to go to get back?"

"Will you shut the hell up and stop asking me? Maybe if you weren't distracting me in class half the time by throwing paper balls and shit like a little kid, I might have some answers for you!" _Yeah, well, anyone but me and you would have ripped their head off instead of taking the abuse. Does that mean anything? Maybe I'm reading too far into things lately…_

"Hey, hey. I'll have you know I copied Raijin's notes every single day. Come to think of it…" I scratched my chin absently. "It was a little hard sorting through all the 'ya know's, so I might have missed something."

"Just because you copied them doesn't mean you actually read it. And even if you did, your skull is too thick to absorb any of the information."

I sighed sadly. "You have no faith in me, do you?"

"None whatsoever." _Yeah, I'll bet. If you didn't, you wouldn't have come with-wait…he came because he DIDN'T have any faith in me. Bad example._

"I give up then." I crossed my arms.

"That's a first."

I sent him a glare. "Just what is it about me that you hate so much?"

"I…" He paused mid-step before resuming in his walk. _Well, at least you have to think about it._ "…a…lot of things. I just hate you. I hate…" His voice became quiet. "…that you won't give up on me like everyone else."

_What?_

"Gee, and here I thought that's what you _liked_ about me. I put up with all your shit, and actually get you to call me your friend, only to find out you hate me for sticking around? That's fucking rich, princess. That's wonderful. Best news I've heard all fucking day!" I stalked ahead of him.

Squall's icy exterior seemed to melt instantly, but by then I was too mad to notice, much less care. "T-That's not what I-"

"Save it for when I give a fuck."

"…" And save it he did.

* * *

"This is fucking _stupid. _How the hell does anyone else get around?"

"We should have stolen a car." Came the quiet reply from behind me.

"Is that so? Well, I'm getting tired of this. And thirsty."

And then the old Squall was back. "If you'd shut the hell up, maybe that wouldn't be so much of a problem."

I turned back and looked at him. "You say that like I talk a lot."

"You do. Nearly every hundred feet you start complaining again-like a damn little girl."

"Yeah, well, you haven't exactly been acting like a big man lately, yourself, asshole. Not that you were ever much of a man to begin with."

He frowned. "That coming from a queer like you? What a bunch of bullshit."

I twitched at the Q word. "…I dare you to say that again."

Squall narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "_Queer_. Gay. Homosexual. _Fag_. They all equal Seifer fucking Almasy."

_I guess you don't want to get out of here alive after all, huh? Dumbass._

I promptly jumped on him and started hitting his stupid perfect face. Taking out every frustration I'd had for the past couple days on him felt good, but…it also felt very _bad._ _I'm…supposed to be in love with you, aren't I? _That thought alone made me want to stop, but thememories of how casually he had dismissed me earlier hurt enough to keep going.

"…_and if I'm serious?"_

"_You're **not**." _

Eventually he was able to kick me off and take my place. He gave me a good one in the jaw, and I could taste the metallic blood in my mouth as it dripped down my chin. Squall abruptly paused when the sand started swirling around us. Suddenly there was a shadow over us and we scrambled to get out of the way before the craft could land and squish us flat. I knocked into Squall at the last second, making us fall back into the hot sand. After a moment of shock he struggled to push me off.

"Get off me you asshole!"

Too bad for Squall, I think any common sense had already left me. "No."

He blinked. "What?"

"I said…no." And I leaned down, capturing his chapped lips in a sweet kiss. As soon as his brain was able to process what happened, he started struggling again. That's when we heard a small cough from behind us.

And there stood _dear_ instructor Quistis. Looking as strict as ever, I might add. "Do you two understand how much trouble you've given Garden? Do you know how hard it was to find you?"

I stood and put up my hands defensively. "Hey, look. There's a good explanation for everything that happened."

She quirked a brow. "This I've got to hear. Get in. We can talk about it on our way back to the Ragnarok."

"Ha ha, are you nuts? You almost crushed us with this thing-who's driving it anyway?"

"Our newest transfer student, Selphie Tilmitt. She said she knew. And…" she tipped her head down to look at me over her glasses. "Unless you want to walk your way back, I suggest you get in and deal with it."

"…point taken."

* * *

Once we made our way back to the Ragnarok, Squall stepped out of the smaller craft and looked back at me. "Coming or not?"

I quirked a brow. "Need me to hold your hand?" _He doesn't actually need me with him…but then…_

"No." He turned and stalked off.

"Well, too bad! I'm coming anyway!" I nodded to the instructor and jogged to catch up with him, missing the strange look she directed at us. "This thing has a shower, right?"

"I think so."

"Good, we need one."

He stopped suddenly. "…how about not."

"Hey, I am _not_ sleeping in a bed with someone who smells like you, okay?"

Squall then seemed to relax as if figuring something out-which made me figure it out, too.

"Ooooh, you thought I meant to shower _together_?" I chuckled and leaned close to him, whispering. "We can if you really want to…"

He predictably pushed me away. "Shut the hell up. You're sick."

Oh, it was going to be a fun night.

* * *

After our showers, I think we both felt a little better mood-wise. Showers are good that way. Plus we were finally safe in a place familiar to us. It was all good-well, almost all good.

"There's no food around here, is there?"

Squall shrugged. "Not that I know of."

"Then you're lucky I thought ahead, huh?" I dug through my bag, producing a few candy bars after a moment. I held one out to him and the look on his face was rather priceless. _What are you thinking…?_ He took it from me slowly and held it in his lap, looking down at it.

"…thanks."

I shrugged. "Yeah, sure." I wolfed mine down within a couple seconds, but Squall hadn't moved. "Hey, are you just gonna stare at it all night, or what?"

"O-Oh…yeah." He opened it and proceeded to eat it. I'd never been so fascinated by watching someone eat before. _As much of a hard ass as he is, everything he does is **graceful **and **delicate.**_

"You gonna you stare at me all night, or what?" Squall mocked.

Instead of a nasty comeback, I grinned at him. "You know, I just might."

He frowned and stared at the wall. "Idiot."

"C'mon, let's hit the sack." _Because you can't turn away when I watch you in your sleep._

"…right."

There was no need to undress-we'd been sitting around in our boxers ever since we got clean. I hadn't anticipated spending a million days out there, so I had no more clothing left except for a set for tomorrow, so there was no use wasting it tonight.

Again, he made me get in first, assuming I would crush him otherwise. I didn't try not to touch him this time. Instead, I just let the pleasant contact happen…and for once, he didn't seem to mind. It was silent for a long time, and all I could hear was the two of us breathing. It was so…_comforting_.

"…Seifer?"

I blinked and turned my head, trying to see him in the darkness. I blinked again when I found that he was on his side, and had apparently been watching _me_ the whole time. "Yeah…?"

"I…um…" Giving up on words, he scooched closer, giving me a quick, chaste kiss.

I blinked for a third time, gaping at him. _Did…did he just…? I must have died in that prison…or the desert! He must have killed me there…this can't be…there's no way this is…_

…_real…_

_But real or not, I don't give a fuck. Right now…I just need…Squall…I always thought it was the corniest saying in the world, but…if this is a dream, let me never wake up._

Before he could scoot himself any further away, I pulled him back close and kissed him again. It wasn't rushed and needy this time…it was soft and gentle. _I need you to feel what I feel…why can't you…love me?_ I rolled us over so I could get at him better. I placed small butterfly kisses along his jaw before giving my attention his neck. To further my surprise, he turned his head to allow me better access. I kissed his Adam's apple and he groaned softly.

Moving further down, I bit his collar bone and sucked on it gently. His flawless ivory skin was more tempting than anything I'd ever seen. Then I worked on his nipples one at a time, licking them slowly with the tip of my tongue before sucking and kissing more. His small sounds of pleasure were nearly enough to push me over the edge, and I couldn't hold back-I crawled back up and ground our hips together, creating the sweetest friction with our pulsing erections that elicited moans from both of us. I nipped at his kiss swollen lips before letting my tongue dive into his mouth again. Squall tasted better than anyone else I'd ever been with-it was mint from the toothpaste, but then something all his own. Something I'd never be able to find in anyone else.

I tried to control my panting enough to speak the only words able to be processed in my mind. "I love you…Squall…"

But instead of hearing the response my heart ached for, he simply moaned again softly, his eyes still closed.

_So you acknowledge it now…? Is that…really all it is? Is this…still so one-sided?_

Sighing lightly, I flopped onto my back, letting the sheet cool me off. Squall watched me for a moment, almost seeming surprised that I had stopped,before turning over to face away from me.

"I…figured I owe you…"

_Oh…so that's how it is…that's…all it is._

"Seif-"

"Yeah, yeah. I get it."

I could hearing the faintest whisper say "I don't think you do…" but who's to say whether I was really hearing it or not?

_Everything else was a stupid illusion made up by my hopeful heart…_

…_and nothing but._

* * *

Is Rinoa really dead? Do you really believe that? Well, you'll find out next chapter! 


	20. Chapter 20

I Promise

We've hit the big 20. I have a feeling this will end up being my longest story on FFN. Thanks for sticking with me!

I want to thank you all for reviewing and being patient with me and waiting for updates! This chapter's a bit sad, so break out the tissues. I wasn't in too good a mood. My brother just got back from Thailand today(he came home early) but…I don't think I'm as happy as I should be. Well, I won't burden you guys with that. Anyway, this chapter and part of the next chapter take a tiny detour from the so-called "main plot". Though the entire plot is all in my head that I make up as I go, so who really cares? It's a nice detour for relationship workings anyway. Enjoy!

**For those who have had trouble finding the icon I made for this fic or such, it's in a more convenient location. Just go to my profile, click the link, and it's right there near the top of my site. You don't even have to scroll!**

**

* * *

Chapter 20**

I didn't see Squall's grumpy ass for the rest of the weekend(since we had returned on a Saturday). I tried to invent a believable excuse to drop in, but nothing I came up with was any good.

_Why should I even **need** an excuse? Shouldn't I be able to just drop in and see my friend whenever I please? Without him trying to smash my face in?_

"_I…a…lot of things. I just hate you. I hate…that you won't give up on me like everyone else."_

"_Gee, and here I thought that's what you **liked **about me. I put up with all your shit, and actually get you to call me your friend, only to find out you hate me for sticking around? That's fucking rich, princess. That's wonderful. Best news I've heard all fucking day!"_

_Did you…**really** mean that? Am I just supposed to give up now? But then…that kiss…_I curled up on the bed._ I don't get it. Asshole always has to be so damn confusing._

Then there was a knock at my door-at 7 AM. Classes didn't start until 8:30. I groaned and sat up. "_What_?"

"Get your ass up and open the door already."

_Oh, well if it isn't Princess Icicle! _How ironic was it that the "object of my affections" was the _last_ person I wanted to see right then? I pulled open the door, and for some reason…seeing him made me _really_ angry.

"Are you having trouble telling time, or what? I'm not late for class!"

His frown deepened. "You're stupid to assume that the only thing I have to come here for is to drag you to class."

I blinked. "…wha?" _You're not saying…you can't be saying…that you came here because…you wanted to?_

"We've been summoned to a meeting with Cid and Quistis." _…well, so much for that._ "So get ready."

"...same fucking difference." I sighed in frustration and stalked towards my dresser, leaving him standing there in the doorway. If he wanted to come in, fine, if he left, _whatever_, as he always says. Apparently deciding on waiting for me, he stepped in and closed the door behind him, having a seat at my desk like he did before. He directed his attention at the wall, probably remembering me dropping my towel last time. _Well, that's one way to get him to think about me naked. But it's still not…god damn, I should just throw you down on the bed and say fuck the meeting._ Taking a deep breath and composing myself, I took my chosen clothing and stepped into the bathroom. If Squall was surprised, I didn't get to see it.

When I came back out in my all black outfit, he was still in the same place, elbows on his knees while he stared at the floor. I'd seen it enough times-it's his thinking position. He was probably trying to figure out how to present our side of it all to Cid, to which I'd say good luck, because that asswipe hates me. I grabbed my trench coat and slipped on my boots. He watched me boredly before standing. "Ready?"

"Yeah, let's get this shit over with."

* * *

"So you're telling me…that you killed _two_ sorceresses?" Squall nodded and Cid continued. "I see…and you have nothing to say about all this Seifer?" His gaze fell on me.

"Nope."

"And why's that?"

I tried to figure out a good way to say it that wouldn't screw things up. _"Squall's a better story teller than me."_ would be one to kill it for sure. "Because he's telling it as it is."

"I see, I see…" He nodded. "Well, I'll have you know we had the D-District Prison investigated, and there was no sign that Miss Heartilly had ever been there at all. All the workers deny seeing you or her." He clasped his hands together and rested them on his desk. "Your step mother, Marnia Almasy, doesn't remember anything, and neither do your father or step brother. The last thing they say they can remember is you attacking them."

I gaped at the old man, but Squall frowned. "…what exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying…" Cid stood, to make sure that he could tower over his sitting students. "That you two very well may have staged this entire thing. We can't be completely sure…therefore, you will be punished accordingly."

"Ah-Headmaster…" Quistis stood as well, and let me tell you, she was taller than tubbo. "I'll take care of their punishments."

"Hmm…" He sat back down, effectively intimidated. "Yes. I know I can count on you to punish them harshly. That's all, then. Dismissed."

We stepped out the door, closing it behind us. "Well, that's fucking _great_. You didn't tell the story with enough detail to impress him."

Squall stopped and crossed his arms. "How is this my fault? _You're_ the idiot who decided that we had to go put a stop to things right away. If you would have _waited_, we'd have people to back up our story. Not to mention you've killed my credibility."

"Well, excuse _me_, Mr. Suck-Up. It's not my fault the headmaster of this place is so stupid. He thinks we walked all the way to the dessert just for fun or something?"

"We could have ridden there and auto-piloted the Ragnarok to go back."

"Only to kill ourselves as we try to walk back through the desert, not even knowing if anyone was coming for us." I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Who's side are you on, anyway?"

"My own."

I was about ready to stalk off when Quistis emerged from Cid's office, carefully closing the doors behind her. It was then that I realized that in the time since we'd left the office, we hadn't gotten very far away. "You two are very lucky."

I frowned as she approached us. "Oh yeah-so lucky, in fact, that we're getting _punished_! It doesn't get much better than that."

She smiled sweetly, but that didn't fool me. "You're lucky that you're getting punished by _me_. I'd say two months worth of lunch detentions should do it, hm?"

Squall sighed. "Is there anything I can do that _wouldn't_ require me to spend time with this moron?"

"Sorry, Squall. Not this time." She laughed lightly and walked on past us, getting into the elevator. "Neither of you better be late for class." The doors closed and down she went.

I growled. "Glad to know you _like_ me so much."

"Except that I _don't_ like you."

"What's the matter, don't know sarcasm when you hear it?" I snickered. _Even though you practically invented sarcasm you lousy bastard._

"No, it just pisses you off more when I pretend I don't."

I blinked. "You know, you just gave away your motive for acting like an asshole."

He shook his head sadly and headed for the elevator. "If you had half a brain, you would have known already."

Without much of a response for that, I "humph"ed and jogged to catch up. That's when the evil gears in my brain kicked in. _Squall. Me. In an elevator. Alone. Oh, the possibilities. _"You know…"

The brunette spared me a bored glance. "What?"

"Ah, shit…" I sighed. "I was going to say something intelligent, but fuck it. This elevator ride doesn't last forever."

"Wha-"

I pushed him up against the wall and kissed him roughly. _Are we friends…or are we not? All of this trouble…what is it for? After all we've been through…don't tell me it was completely for nothing. I love you and…I hate you. Does that make sense? Does…anything make sense anymore?_ After the initial surprise, just as I started to get a response from him, the elevator dinged and Squall knocked me away as roughly as possible. While I was busy peeling myself off the opposite wall, he took off to class.

* * *

Said class part one went by uneventfully. I got no response from grumpy ass whatsoever and it pissed me off to no end. _What did I do?_ _Well, I kissed him, but come **on**…you're telling me he's mad about **that? **__It's only happened a dozen times. Do you **still **__think I'm full of it? How can I…get you to realize?_

Lunch didn't come quickly enough. I really wanted to ask him what the hell was going on-until I remembered that we had lunch detentions with Quistis. _Oh joy_.

"As usual, please remain silent since this is a punishment and I'm working on grading papers."

I sighed dramatically. "Isn't this a little-oh, I don't know-middle school?"

She tipped her glasses down to try and intimidate me. "I have news for you, Seifer, dear: you _are_ like a middle schooler."

"Hey, hey. Then that goes for _him_, too." I casually tossed a thumb in Squall's direction, and watched in amusement when he scowled at me. The idiot had made sure to sit as far away from me as possible…until I had just followed him around the room. At last he had given up and settled on sitting with me in the back of the room.

She shook her head slowly, so her blonde hair wouldn't fall out of place. "Squall is very intelligent and quiet-"

"Like a wall." And the fist was in my face before I could even comprehend doing anything about it. My hand reflexively flew up to touch my tender cheek. "God _damn_! What _is_ your problem today?"

"You." The brunette answered quickly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world and I was a total idiot for even having to ask.

It was my turn to scowl. "Yeah, and so what _else_ is new, princess?"

"Nothing." He took a sip of his drink. "You never go away and you never damn _change_."

There was silence in the room for a moment, and I was surprised Quistis hadn't stopped out battle yet. "You know, that's pretty hypocritical…"

The instructor rolled her eyes. "I'm staying out of this one. Can't you two discuss your private life _quietly_, so I can finish my work?"

Squall's head shot up. "_Private_ life? Excuse me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't have any private life with this fu-"

I quickly covered his mouth and smiled up at the blonde woman. "Don't mind him-he just doesn't want anyone to know about the wild sex we have every night. He's a little embarrassed about being so open about these things-OW! God damn! You _bit_ me! Hyne, I think that's the _second_ time you've ever done that…now if only I could get you to bite me _elsewhere_…" Poor Quistis looked rather horrified by then. _She knew exactly what she was implying when she said it, but I'm guessing she didn't want so much detail…_

Before anything more could be said, Squall stormed out, leaving everything he had with him behind. That's when I got this horrible feeling that spread throughout my entire body and into the depths of my very soul. I got the unbearable feeling…that Squall was crying.

* * *

Squall wasn't seen again for the rest of the afternoon. I practically begged Quistis in front of the class to let me go find him, but she denied my requests, simply saying "Broken hearts are not easily mended." whatever she meant by that. _That has nothing to do with us…unless…Rinoa? But he's way over her, isn't he? He sure acts like it…_

Dinner time came, and I skipped right over it in favor of finding Squall. The first place I decided to check was the boys bathroom near the classroom. However, I found it to be unlocked and empty, with all vents sealed up tight. _Maybe it'd help if I knew what to apologize for before I found him…but what did I do? I was just joking…like I always do. Usually he just gets pissed off and hits me…so what's going on? What's different? He said it himself that nothing's-well, that **I** Haven't changed. So what has?_

The only other place I thought possible was his dorm room. My heart beat faster as I came closer and lifted my fist to knock. _What am I supposed to tell you?_ Letting out a shaky breath I finally tapped my knuckled on thedark wood lightly.

"Fuck off, Almasy."

I stood in front of his door with my mouth agape in shock for a few moments. "…how'd you know it was me? You got x-ray vision or somethin-"

"You're the only one stupid enough to come here-at _any_ hour of the day."

_The only one…? Wait, stupid?_

"Well, and here I thought coming to find you made me a _good friend_."

"Whatever. I'm not having a conversation with you through my door, Almasy, so fuck off."

"Now that's not very nice …"

"It wasn't meant to be."

I turned the knob, and the door just opened right up. "Wow, you've really gotta learn to lock your door, Squall."

"Get the fuck out."

"How about not?" I stepped in and closed it behind me. "Just what is your problem, anyway?" And that's when I _really_ got a good look at him. He was paler than a sheet, dressed only in his white shirt and pants. He was sitting on his bed, with his bare feet dangling towards the floor. His right hand was wrapped up tightly in gauze that was quickly turning bright red.

Before I could comment or ask, he began to answer my spoken question. "It's not me who has the problem-or maybe I just have some kind of problem that only _I'm_ not aware of. You tell me, what's so fucking funny?"

"…funny? Squall, what happened to your-"

He gestured towards another door. "Why don't you look in my bathroom?"

"I don't see what your bathroom has to do with anything…" However, in the few steps it took to get there, I imagined some of the most horrifying things I ever had in my entire life. Blades to cut himself, pills to overdose with, a noose to hang himself, or maybe even water and a hair dryer. And by the time I slowly pushed the door open, I realized I was shaking. It didn't relieve me to find broken, bloody mirror shards all over the sink and floor, though.

I had wanted…to try and make him feel better by saying stupid things, hoping to be forgiven for what I had no idea I'd done. But all those thoughts melted away, leaving only unanswered questions, and this heavy sadness that wouldn't lift from me.

"What…did I do?"

Squall frowned and looked away from my disturbingly darkened eyes. "Don't act like you don't know."

"…and if I honestly don't?"

"Just what is it about me that you hate so much?"

_Hate…?_

"_Just what is it about me that you hate so much?"_

"_I…a…lot of things. I just hate you. I hate…that you won't give up on me like everyone else."_

_That's the same question I asked you…but I don't…why are you asking **me**?_

"_Hate _you? Squall, I-"

"'_Love'_ me-is that right?"

I crossed my arms. "That's exactly right, and-"

"Bullshit! Just how long are you going to keep this shit up? Because it isn't funny anymore." He was clutching a glass of water so tightly, I was sure it would crack under the pressure. "It…_isn't fucking funny_!" All I could do is stand there helplessly as the glass was thrown at me, shattering into a million pieces right beside my head on the wall, and showering me with a million tiny shards.

Any other time I would have cussed up a storm and asked what the fuck was wrong with him…but something about it all just seemed so…wrong. Squall sat with his face in his hands, unmoving. His words refused to stop echoing in my head, as if time had stopped or slowed down.

"_It…**isn't fucking funny**!" _

"…_**isn't fucking funny**!" _

"…_isn't fucking funny!" _

"…_isn't…"_

After what seemed like hours I slowly shrugged out of my jacket and shook it out. I proceeded to do the same with my shirt when I felt a sharp sting on the side of my neck. "Fuck." I hissed quietly and finished removing my shirt and shaking it around. Then I threw them onto the nearest chair and was about to lift my hand to assess the damage, when I realized I didn't have to. A drop of blood was already trailing down my shoulder, and onto my chest. Without permission, I entered his bathroom and began looking through drawers, while ignoring the crunching of glass beneath my feet. I didn't know Squall was looking my way until I was looking back at him. "Don't you have any damn bandages?"

He stared at me for a moment and I was about to repeat my question when he picked up a box and a roll of medical tape from beside him. I stalked over and snatched it from his lightly shaking fingers. I took out the roll of guaze and sighed. "Yay, more neck wraps. First Rinoa, and then you. Everybody's out for my neck! I feel so special." I reached up and began trying to wrap myself with fumbling fingers.

"I-I could help you…"

I glanced at the helpless picture he painted before rolling my eyes. "Why, thank you, princess, but I'd rather get hit by a truck. You're only offering because you feel guilty anyway. Or maybe you're just looking for an opportunity to choke me. Who knows! Lots of fun possibilities there."

"I wouldn't-"

"You nearly broke a glass on my face! What the hell am I supposed to think here? You're mad as all hell, and for _what_! I told you, I honestly don't know! Fuck, if I did something, stop being such a damn sissy and say it to my face! This isn't some crazy ass guessing game! I'm tired of having to wonder what the hell you could possibly be talking about. You hide _everything_ and then expect me to _somehow_ know what you're thinking. So, what did I do?"

"You…" his gaze dropped to the floor and he sighed lightly.

"If you have nothing to say, then I'm out of here." I fastened the gauze with the medical tape. When I received no response, I picked up my clothing and headed for the door.

"Wai-ah, fuck!"

I turned around, only to find that Squall had gotten up and stepped forward-right into the glass with his bare feet. I frowned and sighed, throwing my clothes back down. "Those are hard to take care of on your own sometimes…" With no further warning, I easily picked up his light body and placed him back on the bed. After grabbing some toilet paper from the bathroom, I had him clean it up as best he could while I looked around for something to help me. Luckily I found a pair of tweezers with his nail clippers, and came back, sitting down across from him. "Let me see."

"So you can help me, but I can't help you?" but without waiting for me to answer, he stretched out his foot towards me, and winced when I took a hold of it, resting it on my thigh.

"Well, not to be egotistical here, but you're being kind of an ass, so I think I get the say in some of this."

"_I'm_ being an ass? What about-ow!"

I tossed the glass back down onto the carpet so I could clean it all up together. "What about _me_? Hey, I didn't come here _intending_ to be an ass. You were one before I walked through the door." I plucked a few more small pieces, seeing him wince each time. "So, back to the original topic at hand: what exactly did I do?"

_You were there at my darkest moment…don't you remember? _

"_Seifer…?"_

"_S-Squall?" _

"_What the hell happened to you?"_

"_None of your fucking business!"_

"_Well, forgive me for trying to give a damn!"_

"_I didn't mean it-"_

"_Just shut the hell up and show me."_

"_Show you what?"_

"_Idiot." _

_And now…I'm here for yours. Why can't everything just work out for once? Should I just ask how you feel about me and take it from there? But then…I'm afraid to know the answer…aren't I?_

"I wish you'd just…" his voice grew quiet and I started wrapping up his foot in the gauze. "…find someone else to make fun of. I have enough to deal with on my own, I don't need…this…"

I frowned and looked up at him. "I'm not trying to-"

"I get ridiculed enough for existing, so I don't need you giving them something new to hate me for! Not that it matters…nothing does. I don't even know why I'm still here. I have nothing left to lose…"

I fastened his wrap with medical tape. "Except maybe…me…" I laughed lightly, but it came out sounding empty. "I don't know who I'm kidding-it's obvious you want to get away from me as quickly as possible. Sorry for…bothering you so much. I didn't know." I stood and grabbed a brush and dust pan, cleaning the glass fragments off the bathroom floor. "So…since I'm ruining the little bit of peace you've been able to make for yourself…I…" I tossed what I had in the garbage and continued. "You won't have to worry about it…anymore."

_I can't leave you alone…if I stay here. _

There was a long silence as I finished cleaning up the remaining shards.

"Well, that's all of it." I pulled on my shirt and trench coat. "See ya." I had the door halfway open when his voice stopped me.

"…I'm sorry…"

I turned back and gave him the best smile I could, considering I felt like I was dying inside. "Why should you be sorry for clearing things up?" Without giving him a chance to answer, I stepped out and closed the door firmly behind me, retreating to my own dorm…and packing my things.

* * *

The next morning, I got up bright and early, hauling mybags to the front desk where I calmly let the secretary know that I was 'going on leave' and that if I didn't come back after a while, to assume I had died. She gave me a funny look until I slipped her some Gil. But just on my way out the front doors, someone stopped me.

"Hey!" Squall appeared by my side in a flash. "Where the hell are you going?"

I tried my best not to look at him. "On a long, relaxing vacation."

I could hear the frown in his voice. "Don't give me that bullshit."

"Well, which bullshit would you prefer?"

"How about you stop being an asshole and just answer? And what the fuck are you staring at?" He turned and looked out the doors as if to find what was so interesting that I would be keeping my eyes on it.

_Anything but you._ "My, my…you've picked up some nasty speech habits from me-like a disease, eh?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "What the hell are you playing at? And what's _really_ going on here? This isn't funny, Almasy."

"_It…isn't fucking funny!"_

"No…no, it certainly isn't funny anymore, Squall."

He stepped in front of me, forcing himself into my line of vision. As predicted, I didn't want to look away once I saw him. "What are you saying?"

_Fuck it, Seifer. Just be blunt and then go._ "I'm _leaving_, princess. You know, going far, far away?"

The look on the brunette's face could only be described as completely and utterly bewildered. "Wha-why?"

I tore my gaze from him and planted it towards the wall. "…I have nothing else to lose."

His icy eyes narrowed at me again. "What about what you said yesterday? It doesn't work two ways?"

"…_I have nothing left to lose…"_

"_Except maybe…me…" _

"No…" I shook my head and calmly looked him in the eye. "I can't lose what I never had. But you, Squall…you had all of me." I side stepped him and walked out the doors, dying a little more with each step I took-each heartbeat.

The softest whisper floated to my ears. "Seifer…"

It nearly produced a hitch in my step, but I couldn't stop. _Not now. Don't try to stop me…when this is what you've been wanting all along. Not when…you've kept wishing I would disappear. Now I am…why aren't you happy? You never told me not to leave…and you never told me I was wrong when I said I was ruining your life. Don't tell me you're standing at those doors…wondering when I'm going to give up the joke and come back, telling you how I put rocks in my bag for a workout?_

_Maybe I wouldn't always say it out loud, but…I'm sorry-for everything._

_I love you._


	21. Chapter 21

I Promise

Hello again, all! Surprised to see me so soon? Me, too. Things have been rather…loud and…well, _bad_, here at my house, so it seems I can only write when everyone is in bed! It's about 1:35 AM. I'm rather tired, too. (so that means I'll message you tomorrow _Lilitha_ and sorry I wasn't online yet again _PainfulxRecovery_ x.x) I had intended for this chapter to be out sooner and with 10 pages…but it's out now with 9. I have no complaints-it was slightly tough to write. I hope the beginning doesn't confuse anyone. A lot of it is different memories of his merged together, so you may not know exactly who's talking towards the end unless you remember it well. The reason I don't put any of the narration-like parts on those is because at that point he's just hearing the voices. A little sad again, but perhaps more confusing. I think you can really feel Seifer's weariness in this chapter. Also, is that stupid city spelled Ester? Esthar? I'm too lazy to look it up. Well, enjoy!

This chapter is dedicated to _Lexy_ and _Whitecat_, since they left lovely reviews, but no way for me to respond to them. (though I can and maybe already did respond to ya, _whitecat_-just by different means. XD -shrug-)

**

* * *

Chapter 21**

"_Squall?"_

_I reached up, on my tip toes, and peaked into the window, but all I saw was darkness. "Come out, Squall!" When there was no answer, I moved back towards the door. "I'm coming to get you, then!" Turning the knob and finding the door unlocked, I entered the small, empty house. I climbed over fallen chairs and various broken things, making my way to Squall's room, where I could hear sniffling. Poking my head into the room, I gave him a stern look. "You missed practice today."_

_The brunette sniffled again. "So?"_

"_So? But you **never** miss practice!" I fully stepped in and pointed through the doorway. "How come all your stuff's broken?"_

"_I…broke it."_

"_Oooooh, your mom is going to be **so** mad at you! Where is she, anyway?"_

"_**She's DEAD stupid! Dead!**" His eyes welled up with tears and he drew his knees up to his chest. All I could do is stare at him as the tears spilled down his cheeks. "I…want mommy…"_

'_Mommy hugs me when I'm sad…' I crawled up onto the bed and scooched closer to Squall until I was able to reach my arms around him._

_Squall collapsed into the embrace, but kept crying._

"_Does something hurt…?"_

_He nodded. "It hurts…"_

_I pulled back a little and looked him over. "Where?"_

_Squall seemed to think about it for a moment before he poked his chest. "Here."_

_I pulled up his shirt and looked. "I don't see anything…"_

_Squall insisted. "But it hurts."_

_I gave him a big smile. "Well, mommy says if you kiss it, that makes it better!"_

_The small brunette frowned. "No it won't."_

"_Uh huh! Watch!" I lifted his shirt again and placed a feather light kiss on his chest. "There! How d'you feel?"_

"…_it still hurts."_

_I sighed dramatically. "This could take a lot of kisses, I guess…"_

"_The people are coming to get me tomorrow, Seif…"_

"_Huh?" I looked up at him. "What people?"_

"_They're going to take me away…" His tears threatened to spill again._

"_Well, I'm sure they won't mind if we play first! You said we could practice-with the big sticks we found in your yard yesterday!"_

"_I won't get to see you anymore!" the salty water dripped down his face again, and I jumped off the bed, grabbing a tissue from the box before climbing back up and handing it to him._

"_How come?"_

"_Cause they're taking me away…" He sniffled and tried to wipe away the tears that wouldn't stop coming._

_I watched him. "Far away?" _

_He nodded. _

"_But…you can't go! You're my…best friend, Squall…that's not fair! Don't go!" By then, I was crying, too. "Come live at my house!"_

"_She said I can't…"_

"_Who said?"_

"_The lady with the funny hair…" He handed me his tissue. "She said I can't live with you except if your mom ada…ada…adop…adopts me…or somethin'."_

_I wiped my eyes. "Then I have to go get my mommy to do that right now!" I jumped up and ran out his bedroom door before skidding to a stop and looking back in. "Do you wanna come?" When Squall shook his head, I continued. "You'll come practice tomorrow?" With an affirmative nod, he waved goodbye sadly. I grinned and waved back, then racing home._

"_I'm sorry, Seify, but we just can't take Squall in…"_

"_Why not? He's my bestest friend, mommy!"_

"_Shh…" She reached forward and wiped away some of my tears. "You know daddy wouldn't like it…"_

"_Daddy never likes anything! I wish he'd go away!"_

"_You don't mean that, sweetheart…"_

"_I do! I hate daddy!"_

"_When I go home, the lady's going to take me…"_

"_Then don't go home!"_

"_I have to…"_

"_No! You don't have to! Don't leave me by myself! Squall…"_

"…_I'm sorry, Seif…"_

"_Sorry isn't very good!"_

"_I want to practice!"_

"…_practice?"_

"_Yeah! Okay, come and get me!" _

"Seifer!"

"_That's what you get. You hit me first, idiot. I'm going home." _

"_Hey! Wait! You better come and practice tomorrow!"_

_You…never came back…_

"_Oh my god! Seify, honey, what on earth happened to you?"_

"_Me an' Squally were practicin' for when we get our own gunblades at garden!"_

"_Why don't we see if Squall can take the doggie, hm? That could be your goodbye present." _

"_Let's go see Squally and give him Hyperion!"_

"Seifer!"

"_You're going to miss him, aren't you, Seifer?"_

"_He's my best friend, mommy…"_

"_You see that cut? And you gave him one just like it, didn't you? Then you don't have anything to worry about. No matter what happens, you'll always be able to find him. This cut will scar…so you'll never forget who you care about most."_

"Answer the door!"

"_It's a promise, then."_

_I promise…_

There was more pounding as I shot up in bed. A glance at my clock told me it was 6 AM. _Oh, whoever woke me up is going to be sorry._ I stood and slowly made my way over to the door, not caring in the least that I was only in my boxers. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I found Squall standing outside. After the momentary shock passed, I frowned. "You honestly have no concept of time, do you? I should slam this damn door in your face."

He crossed his arms. "It's important."

"It better be." After considering how amusing it would be to kick him out on his ass, I grabbed his arm and pulled him inside, closing the door, and heading for the tiny kitchen. I tried not to laugh when he dusted himself off as if I'd left dirt on him. "So how'd you find me?" I opened the fridge with a yawn-I hadn't exactly slept well.

He seemed a little uncomfortable, and hadn't moved from where I dragged him in. "This is the only hotel in Balamb."

I sighed. "Okay, better question: _why _the hell are you here?" I watched him as I poured myself some juice. "You can sit, or, ya know, _move around_ a bit."

Hesitantly, he made his way into the kitchen and sat across from me. "…you have to come back."

I almost laughed, but that would have meant spitting out my juice. "Actually, princess, I don't think I _have_ to do _anything_."

He frowned again. "Look, Ester contacted us…they have a sorceress problem. We're the best Garden has."

"Then I pity them. What are we, the Sorceress Busters? I'm not a part of garden anymore, and I'm not going to drop whatever I'm doing all the time just to help when, frankly, I don't give a shit. I'm sure your great and mighty self can handle it all on your own. You don't need me, as you've always said."

There was a short silence while I finished my juice off, putting the glass in the sink. "What if…_I_ want you to help me?"

I turned and quirked a brow, but his face was unreadable as usual. "And now you're trying to _use_ me? I didn't think you were that low…" I turned my back on him again, washing the cup. "Get out."

"Seifer, I-"

"Just get out, Leonhart." _…how can you be so selfish?_

"Cid and Quistis didn't send me!"

I sighed. "And who did, the tooth fairy?"

"I don't want to work with a bunch of idiots."

"Then work by yourself." I rubbed my temples. "Bullshit gives me such a headache." I headed for my bathroom and Squall stood and followed behind me, still trying to plead his case. _What the hell are you trying to get at?_

"Why can't you just come back?"

"How about because I don't want to? Garden doesn't own me anymore." I took out some Tylenol and swallowed them dry.

He sighed this time. "Will you stop being so difficult?"

"Sorry, I don't know how."

He threw his hands up in exasperation. "You're such an asshole!"

I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorframe. "You're one to talk. You wake me up to pounding at 6 in the morning, only to come in here and order me around? Well, fuck you! I don't need your bullshit-so, kindly take it with you and _leave_ already!"

"I _want _you with me!" As soon as he had said it, he turned away and started mumbling excuses. After a moment, I wrapped my arms around him from behind and snuggled my face into his soft hair. _I want to believe…_

_Am I just…playing into your hand?_

A small grin spread over my face without my permission. "Now _that's _more like it."

_What am I doing…?_

"H-Hey…don't be getting any ideas…I didn't _mean_ that…like _that…_"

"Oh?" I stepped back and turned him around. "I must have been mistaken, then. So, never mind. Let yourself out, I'm going back to bed."

"Wait!"

"Hm?"

He frowned and stared at the wall. "I…_did_ mean it like that, then." _…this isn't funny, Squall. _

I quirked a brow. "Why does this sound like you're just saying it so I'll come back for the mission?"

He seemed either really frustrated or slightly panicked. "That's not it!"

"Alright, then…prove it."

"W-What?"

"You heard me." I smirked. "If I'm not convinced that you're being honest, you're leaving here by yourself."

He frowned. "How am I supposed to do that?"

I shrugged. "Figure it out. You have a couple minutes." I closed the door and relieved myself, also brushing my teeth to let him have more time. _First he accuses me of playing with him, and now he's the one doing it. Why am **I **playing this game? Why'd I even let him in? I shouldn't be…doing this._ When I opened the door and stepped out, Squall was pacing back and fourth nervously, probably deep in one of his inner monologues. "Squall."

He stopped abruptly and looked at me, waiting. "What?"

"Look…forget what I said. The deal's off." I stepped past him and towards my front door.

"What? Why?" The brunette followed me.

"Because you…shouldn't be here. I left for a reason, and playing into whatever you're trying to do is like I did this for nothing." I opened the door, waiting for him to exit through it.

For a moment he looked slightly hurt(I could have imagined it), but stepped up beside me, seemingly struggling with his words. "I…never should have let you leave…"

"Yes, I'm sure if you knew this mission was coming up you would have told me to wait a few days."

"Will you cut that out!"

"Well, the sooner you leave, the sooner you won't have to put up with all the things you hate so much." I gestured to the hallway. "Do you need more help getting out, or what?"

He stepped into the doorway and I moved to stand across from him, waiting for the guy to move a little more so I could just close the door and go back to sleep. "I…don't hate…"

"Huh?"

Squall answered my question by turning around and throwing himself at me. I nearly fell over from the impact…and when he kissed me so fiercely, I wasn't sure whether or not to push him away. It almost scared me, because I knew he could very well be kissing me for all the wrong reasons. Without even meaning to, I became entranced with the warm feeling of his lips on mine. When the kiss was broken for lack of air, I regained my senses and pushed him back from me as gently as possible.

"Squall…it can't work like this." _…I sound like a stupid woman again._

He frowned and crossed his arms. "Because…? I thought you wanted this."

_But do **you**? Saying it like that just makes me even more suspicious…and confused._

I sighed lightly. "Look, if your stupid mission means that much to you, then fine, I'll come just make your ass happy. The rest of this…forget it ever happened. Which I'm sure you'll have no problem with." I held onto the door knob, yet again showing him that it was time to let me fucking _sleep_ for a little while. Not that it'd be any easier now.

I wasn't sure what the look on his face was, but he chose not to comment on anything I'd said. "There's…a meeting at nine, and then we're going. We should be back before tomorrow, if everything goes well-so you don't have to pack anything."

I watched him as he slowly crept closer to the door. "You look pretty defeated for someone who just got his way. Aren't I doing what you want yet again? Geez, lighten up."

Squall looked up at me, apparently confused. "Again…?"

"I left because you wanted me to, and now I'm coming because you want me to-any more requests, your majesty?" I snickered.

He frowned. "Well, if it _pains_ you that much, then don't come. It's not like I can't do it without you."

_What the fuck is **this**!_

"…fuck you, your highness! You gave me all this shit just to make me come with and now you don't want me to? What a fucking joke! Did you hit your head in the shower this morning or what? Get the hell out of here already." I made to kick him, but he jumped out of the way and into the hall just in time. I sugar coated my voice and gave him lovey-dovey looks. "See you at nine, cupcake." Then promptly closed the door in his face before he could comment. I flopped down on the bed and heaved a sigh-but not of relief.

_What have I gotten myself into **now**…?_

* * *

"Seifer? Why are you here? We'd been told you left Garden." That was about the extent of the greeting I received upon arrival to the meeting.

"I _did_ leave. Princess Puberty over here _requested_ my 'services'." I pointed to Squall, who was already seated. _Ha ha…wow, that sounds so wrong…**and **delicious._

Quistis crossed her arms. "You're late."

I turned and looked up at the big clock. "By _five_ minutes. _Five_ minutes. Be happy I'm here at all, eh?"

"Excuse me? Who do you think you're talking to-"

I smiled sweetly. "Not an instructor or someone higher up, but a fellow human being. And you'll be ecstatic to know-I treat _everyone_ the same. Ain't that right, Squally boy?" _Ah, life's so much fun when you're a part-time asshole._

Said 'boy' ignored all his rules and manners for once and promptly flicked me off, then giving Quistis an apologetic look-if you could call it that. "He…didn't get much sleep."

"That's right. Cause we were up all night havin-"

"That's enough!" Cid coughed. "Let us begin the meeting, shall we?"

Squall covered his face with his gloved hands. _Oops-did I just make you look gay in front of your headmaster?_

Having nothing to say for myself, I sat down to the left of Squall, who then leaned a little bit to the right. _Oh, can't risk catching my germs now. _

Cid cleared his throat to fully capture our attention before beginning his rambling speech. As much as I wanted to tell him just to skip straight to the point, tell me what I had to kill, and let us go, I didn't want to get kicked off the mission. _This lack of sleep is definitely effecting my sarcasm…like kicking it up a notch. _

"The Ester scientists were apparently trying to test some sort of way to kill the sorceress they had 'frozen' without actually letting her free. This, however, backfired, and now they have a loose sorceress. She hasn't destroyed the base, and they figure she's trying to use it as her own. I-"

"Um, question."

Cid looked down at me. "Yes?"

"Why the hell did they have a sorceress frozen in the first place?"

He shrugged. "I don't know all the details, but long ago, sorceress Adel attacked them and they used the new technology to trap her. It's been that way ever since. That's all I know. Now, you'll be leaving here in, hopefully, fifteen minutes. Then proceeding to Ester which should take roughly 45 minutes with the Ragnarok. Then another fifteen minutes to a half hour for them to check you out before you're off into space, coming aboard the base roughly an hour later. If-"

"Whoa, wait a second here."

Cid sighed. "What now, Seifer?"

"We're…going into space?"

The man nodded. "You were not aware?"

"No, I guess _someone_ forgot to mention that little detail." I shot a glare at Squall who simply shrugged.

Cid ignored it all and continued. "If all goes well, you should be home by dinnertime. That concludes this meeting. Good luck to the two of you. Be at the Ragnarok in fifteen minutes. Feel free to get a late breakfast in the teacher's lounge until that time."

_The…two of us? Wait a second…why were we the only ones at this meeting? Oh, you're kidding me…_

"Yes, _dear_ Squall and I are going to go eat breakfast." The brunette started to protest before I grabbed his arm and roughly began to drag him away. "Right. Now."

As soon as I had gotten him out of the room he violently pulled away. "What the hell is your problem?"

We continued our walk towards the teacher's lounge. "Why was it just us at the meeting? Who else is coming?"

"What, are you stupid? Just us, moron."

_Just…us?_

I sighed and pushed open the door to the lounge. "You know, this is just begging for something to go wrong so we can get punished again."

"We're being ordered to go this time."

"Well, for _you_ to get punished. Nothing can happen to me anymore." I picked up a blueberry muffin. "So why just the two of us?"

Squall sat down and crossed his arms. "Apparently Cid was more impressed with our sorceress slaying abilities than we thought."

"_What_? Look, Marnia was slow and Rinoa, if you ignore the obvious lack of brains, didn't really know how to use the powers.If this Adel is any good, then we're screwed."

"What's the matter? Scared you can't handle it?"

I glanced at him before shaking my head and letting out a big yawn. "Cute, Squall. I'm scared _you_ can't handle it."

First he blinked-mostly likely assuming I was being sincere-then he frowned. "Very funny. I don't need your help."

"Yet you asked for it."

"That's…" he trailed off and stared at the wall. "…whatever." Then a pause. "This morning-"

"No, no, no. What did I say? Forget it ever happened."

"But-"

"Would it _kill_ you to listen to me for once, Leonhart?"

"God damn it, Seifer! That kiss-"

I whipped around. "I don't care!" There was another long silence. "I…do care, but…I just don't-"

There was a beep, then Quistis's voice came over the intercom. "Time to ride, boys. Hurry up to the Ragnarok."

…_know if it was real or not. Is any of this…really mutual?_

I sighed again and took another muffin for the trip. "I better be able to get some sleep on the way there…or we could be in more trouble than you think."


	22. Chapter 22

I Promise

Sorry this is "late". I had it done DAYS ago. If you don't know why, the reason's in my profile. Stupid FFN…Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It's dedicated to _Whitecat_ and _Beachan18_. Thanks for the reviews, you two. ((smiles))

**

* * *

Chapter 22**

As soon as we boarded the Ragnarok and took off, I was fast asleep. It was a deep, deep sleep-Squall could have been doing kinky things to me and I wouldn't have known. I was kind of hoping that once we got there, the guy would just gather me into his arms and carry me onto the shuttle, so I could sleep the whole way there. No such luck, of course.

"…wake up, Seifer."

"Damn it…you ass…I'm not _that_ heavy…" I had yet to even open my eyes, but my imagination told me exactly what his face looked like at that moment.

"…what the hell are you talking about? We're here. They have to prep us before we can go."

"Mmhmm…so take me already." _I wonder if he'll think I mean…_

"And you call _me_ an ass?" He must have pushed me over, because next thing I knew, I was on the cold floor.

"Ah! Shit! God damn!" I jumped up and glared at him. "I was right! You _are_ the ass." _And you have a very nice ass. Please remove your pants now._

I could have been mistaken, but it looked like a smirk that graced his features. _Proud of being the ass in the relationship? I'm fine with that._ "Hurry up and get dressed before they drag you out there in your underwear. I'd _hate_ for some 'beautiful' scientist to have to see you at your worst."

"Me, too." Then I fully understood. "Oh, hey-now hold on a minute. I'll have you know that right now, like this, is _almost_ my best. I mean, come on! Where else can you find muscle like this, eh? Not by looking in the mirror, shrimp!"

"…I'm not into checking out guys-or myself-all the time like you, sorry." He crossed his arms as if growing impatient, but continued before I could call him asexual since he never appears to check _anyone_ out. _Either that or you're just **really** good at it_. "I'd hate to know what your _best_ is, then."

"Pffft, that's easy! My best is when I'm _naked_. It doesn't get any better than a tight ass and a big-"

"Shut up!"

"Oh, I'm all talk and no action, huh? I'll show you, then." I started to pull down my boxers when he covered his eyes and ruined my fun, so I began dressing.

"I said I didn't want to know!"

An old guy in a white coat appeared in the doorway just as I was pulling my shirt back over my head. He looked slightly confused. "I ah…hope I'm not interrupting anything." _Yes, you were! _"We were just wondering when you would be coming inside to begin the examinations…"

Squall froze and very slowly removed his hands from his face, probably hoping to Hyne that the poor guy didn't walk in on me with my boxers down. When he saw I was nearly fully dressed, he sighed in relief. "We were…just about to leave the ship."

"Yeah, sorry, the ship kind of got here earlier than we thought-my lover's just a really fast dresser. One of those up tight morning guys, you know?" I smirked when the old man's mouth dropped open and Squall quickly objected.

"He's joking!"

After a moment, the scientist seemed to believe him and took a step back. "Well…we'll be waiting for you both inside." And then he turned around and walked off as fast as he could.

I whistled. "Wow, you know, you look even _more _guilty when you protest like that."

"Damn it, Almasy, do you have to gross out _everyone_ we meet with your sick fantasies?"

"Yes."

"…you're making yourself look bad. Don't you even care?"

"No." I tied up my other boot and stood. "As far as I'm concerned, how hot you are just makes me look _better_. Chicks dig sexy gay guys-didn't you know?"

There was silence for a moment before Squall frowned. "And…that's why you like me, isn't it? Because you think I'm good looking? I know it's not the 'witty banter' or the _wonderful_ personality. So is that all I am? Something to help you attract airhead girls and an ass to fuck?"

_He says that like we've done it already... _"Hey, I never said-"

"Get the fuck out of my life!" He stormed out and probably off the ship, to the examination room.

_Isn't that…what I did? You were the one to bring me back…and now you want me out again? Well, which is it? It's not like I meant to insult you…I was only kidding…like always. You're such a sensitive ass lately. What gives?_

* * *

Once inside, they poked and prodded just about everything. Squall shot me a good glare every time he saw me, if not an insult. A cute blonde girl-probably younger than me-was taking x-rays. "Remove your shirt, please." Of course, she liked what she saw, and giggled. "Oh, you must work out!"

"Well, I train at Garden. I'm a gunblader, you see." I soak up praise and admiration.

"Oooh, that's so exciting! Are-lay down, please. Will you be free when you get back?"

"Ah, sorry-I'm taken, actually. It's that brunette riiiiiight over there…" I pointed towards Squall and then proceeded to lie down.

"You're…gay?" At my affirmative nod, she frowned and began the x-ray process. "But doesn't that guy hate you?"

"Nah…just a little lovers' quarrel-he'll get over it." Then it was finished and I was able to sit up again.

"Well, you know…" she put her hand on my chest. "…if you need to unwind until your little boyfriend regains his senses…"

_Your hands aren't as soft as Squall's._

"No, that's okay-I'm good." I peeled her hand off. "I'll get back in his pants eventually, I'm sure."

_But now…becoming lovers isn't even so important anymore, is it? I just want…need…you to..love me back._

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Squall had been watching the whole time, and it gave me a certain kind of satisfaction knowing that he had seen me refuse the "airhead girl" in favor of waiting for him. _Because I really do…love…_

She sighed. "Darn…it didn't work on _him_, either. Now I'll be bored all weekend."

That snapped me out of my thoughts. "Say what?"

"I-oh…" She blushed. "Well…I was just-that is-um…don't hurt me?"

I quirked a brow. "You did…what, exactly? And to who?"

"It was just harmless flirting, I swear!" She was getting hysterical and had backed away from me. "But he said no just like you did!"

_Just like I did? _

"…you want to elaborate on that or do I have to flex and scare you more?"

She flinched without even being touched-it made me want to laugh. "I-he-he…he was all mean and just-he said someone else had already ripped his heart out and kept it, so he doesn't have room to care!"

"Squall said…that?"

Such a thing was pretty hard to imagine.

"_I can't-someone else has already ripped my heart from my chest and locked it away…so I have no way to care for anyone else." …no, I think not._

_Squall's been pissed since he woke me up, so… "Forget it. Someone already ripped my fucking heart out and kept it just for **fun**, so I can't give a shit, even **if **I wanted to-which I **don't**. So fuck off and do your damn job." …yeah, that's more like it._

_But…**who** was he referring to? _

* * *

"Alright…now, this will be a bit different from your experiences on other aircrafts. There will be an extreme amount of turbulence when you're pushing through the earth's atmosphere…"

I nudged Squall and whispered. "You know, this also means there's no way back-one thing wrong means we go 'boom'."

The brunette rolled his eyes-it seemed that he had cooled down a bit. "You _chose_ to come with, so don't chicken out now."

"Seifer Almasy? Afraid? I think not."

"I know what you're afraid of…" And then came this creepy little smile on his face.

"Woah-why am I getting this intense feeling of hostility from you that smells like blackmail?"

_He knows…what I'm afraid of? How can **that **be? Even I can't name anything-_

"And that's all, gentlemen. Good luck to you! Please proceed to the right and get into your space suits."

"Shit, I hope you heard what he said-cause I didn't."

Squall sighed. "You were talking to me-how could I have heard?"

"Well, you should have been _listening_ instead of plotting my demise."

The brunette quirked a brow as we dressed in the heavy, unflattering suits. "Plotting your demise? Where'd you learn big words like that?"

"Actually, I read it in a book-"

"Since when do you read?"

I sighed. "Fiiine, I heard it on _TV_, okay? I think I'm smarter than you give me credit for."

He seemed to consider it. "No, you're just a good bullshitter."

"Fair enough." _I wonder what it'd be like to make love to you with the gravity all messed up…has anyone ever had sex in space before? That'd be a pretty special first time for puberty boy here-you know, if I could ever get him to actually like me any._

Then the helmets were on and we were off-and let me tell you, the ride was bumpier than the old guy said it would be.

* * *

It didn't take long for me to get bored. We weren't the ones flying it, so there wasn't much to do except talk-which is hard when your only company is the most anti-social person on the planet.

"So…blondie flirted with you, too, huh?"

He shrugged, obviously trying to drop the subject, but that's where it gets fun playing Mr. Oblivious. I was _supposed_ to ask him what he had meant by what he said to her, but…

"I'm surprised you didn't take her offer, I mean…you've had all of _one_ girlfriend in your life. How do you take out your sexual frustrat-"

"I'm not like _you_! I don't need to fuck the closest thing to me every three hours!" He seemed pissed once again-but this time, he couldn't run away. _I'm going to find out…_

"Oh, come on-give me more credit than _that_! It's _five_ hours. And as attractive as streetlights _look_, don't get drawn in-it kind of hurts."

Squall looked about ready to rip my head off but settled for crossing his arms to the best of his ability and giving me his coldest "Whatever."

"You know, you've always had a stick up your ass, but this is pretty bad. I mean, even _if_ the doctors can remove it, it's going to leave a hole the size of Balamb, and without any tightness, I don't know if I can-"

"Will you shut the hell up? Go chase after someone else's ass, then."

I tried to look hurt. "Sorry, but you have the finest ass I've ever seen-and Seifer Almasy only gets the best."

He shot me a weary glare. "Except you've never actually _seen_ my ass."

"Well, those leather pants of yours don't exactly leave much to the imagination-by the way, _why_ do you wear such hot clothes if you don't care about anyone? Are you secretly having one night stands without _me_? I want to participate!"

"…would you like a space or earth funeral?"

"Hmm…a Squall funeral!"

He stared at me. "Which implies…what, exactly?"

"Well, I want to be buried in _you_, of course." I winked and he looked away quickly.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"But, seriously…" _I need to know…_

Squall looked back at me, surprised at the sudden change. "What?"

"What's wrong with you?"

He seemed a little offended, but was apparently curious enough to push on. "What do you mean?"

"Remember how you said…that I never change?"

"_Yeah, and so what else is new, princess?"_

"_Nothing. You never go away and you never damn change."_

"What does that have to do with _me_?"

"Well, you're right-I didn't change-_you_ did. I've been like this since day one, but…suddenly you take great offense to all of it. What gives, Squall?"

He stared out the tiny window, into the emptiness of space. "…nothing."

_At least you didn't deny it._

"Come on…don't give me that bullshit. Why don't you tell me anything? You don't have to deal with everything by yourse-"

"Yes, I do!" His face fell and he sighed. "Don't worry about it. It's none of your business."

"I think it is if you're going to be PMSing on me all the time…"

"Then leave me alone and it won't be a problem, will it?"

"…" And the rest of the ride was spent in silence. I understood no more than I had when I started.

_Do you…really want me to leave you alone? Do you…mean it?_

_What happened to…the Squall that called me his friend for the first time? The one who realized that what made us a good fit was how well we put up with each other's shit and brush it off so easily? What happened to…the quiet, beautiful laugh I could get out of you on rare occasions? That small, heart warming smile…the soft hands that hit me when I was being too perverted-and touched me when I did things just right…that cute, grumpy attitude…the most amazing kisses…the most beautiful person I've ever met-inside and out. Where did he go? _

_Where is…my Squall?_

* * *

When we had arrived, the two guys who had been driving us seemed a little nervous. "Now…we'll be waiting here for you." The tall one stated matter-of-factly. "Unless this place becomes unstable."

"Wait, so if this place shakes a little you're leaving us here to die?"

"No, no! There's a radio in the communications room, and if that doesn't work, we'll come back in three days. There should be food on this ship."

I crossed my arms. "Well, that's a relief." Squall simply rolled his eyes.

"And uh…don't let your personal problems get in the way, alright?"

Squall automatically presented him with a death glare. "_What_ personal problems?"

The men shrank back. "You two…argue rather loudly…"

The brunette ignored the fact that it meant they had heard our whole conversation. "Just let us off this piece of shit tin can already."

"Y-Yes sir…" He pushed a few buttons and the latch came open. "Please be careful to make sure the oxygen level is okay before removing your helmets…"

Squall nodded, and I followed him aboard the base. The door closed behind us, there were a few beeps, and then the doorbefore usopened to let us all the way in.

"Well, we're not floating. Think it's safe? Cause we can't fight in these stupid suits."

Squall shrugged. "Test it out, then."

"Oh, yeah, right. _Test_ it!"

"Have any better ideas?" He stared at me calmly, and it was a little unnerving. Just a little.

"No. If you think it's such a brilliant idea, why don't _you_ try it?"

"Fine." And without another word, he undid the metal clasps and removed his helmet. His hair had apparently been clinging to him in the 'bubble', but with a shake of his head it fell more freely around his face. It was like one of those cheesy moments where any girl would have said 'And that's when I fell in love with him all over again.' And maybe I did-but I wouldn't say it for a million Gil. That's just too damn girly.

When it sunk in that Squall wasn't gasping for air-in fact, he was removing the rest of his suit-I decided it must be okay. Then I proceeded to get out of the sticky uniform, too. I briefly wondered if Squall would fall in love with me if I shook _my_ head, but quickly dismissed the stupid idea. _I mean, come on-it obviously won't work like that. My hair is too short. _"You're lucky it was safe."

"You're just mad that you were too scared to go first." He withdrew his gunblade from its box.

"I was being _cautious_. There's a big difference, princess." _Do I sense a change in attitude?_

"A difference about as big as your brain." He watched me. "Coming, or not?"

I snickered and grabbed Hyperion. "We need somewhere to stash this stuff. Like that janitor's closet over there." I pointed behind him.

He turned to see it, and I got a pretty good view of his ass. _No hands. No hands. Feel with your eyes, not with your fingers. Ahhhhh, I'm going to go crazy. You wear those pants just to laugh at me, don't you?_

Meanwhile, he had picked up his suit and gunblade case and began depositing them in among the cleaning supplies. After regaining my sanity and getting a firm grip on his ass-I mean-_reality_, I shoved my things in. _How funny would it be if you put on my space suit by accident? You'd be swimming in it._

"Can we go now?"

I closed the door. "Sorry, the cleaner labels were too colorful. What, in a hurry to get your face smashed in?"

Squall crossed his arms. "I'm in a hurry to go home."

I quirked a brow and strode towards him. "You consider Garden your _home_?"

"Yes, I do. I've been in _one _my whole life, so I guess you wouldn't understand."

I frowned, but tried to ignore the insult. "You can't just call a place like Garden your home. A home isn't _just_ a place where you live."

Squall frowned as well. "Then where's _your_ home?"

"I don't have one yet." I explained. "But maybe I'd go back to my old house. You know, where we lived when we were kids. It's a pretty small house, but…it doesn't need to be huge-it's not like I'm going to have kids. I'd just need room for myself…and…you." Squall's head jerked up to look at me. "I um…I want you with me." His blank stare was making me nervous. _What am I saying…? He doesn't even like me. **Live** with me? Not in this life time…_ "It…wouldn't be a home…without you."

Squall turned his back to me. "…whatever. We don't have time for this." With a push of a button, the air locked doors slid open. I wanted to say something, but all thoughts flew from my mind. The very first thing we noticed was the metallic smell in the air and the dimmed-if not broken or flickering-lights.

At the end of the tiny hall…the walls and floor were smeared with blood.


	23. Chapter 23

I Promise

Seeing the blood, and knowing they were bound to die, Squall and Seifer immediately dropped to the floor and had the hottest goodbye sex you could ever dream of.

The End.

Kidding! I'm sorry, that's a horrible joke on my part, considering it's been so long! Ah, boy…life's been rather nuts. All in all, nothing I can say will really make up for being so late. Forgive my lateness! ((drops down and bows)) But if you must blame someone, blame my oldest brother, because he's just been SUCH an asswipe, and it's kept me in a pretty nasty slump for weeks. For a while I wasn't even hardly checking my email, I was so depressed. Plus other family issues like money…it's all very depressing. Anyway…thanks to all who reviewed and BIG thanks to everyone who's waited for this. My fight scene is a little quick and sloppy-sorry about that, I'm not too good at them yet. Those who have PMed or emailed, I swear, I'll be getting to it soon! I'm sorry!

This chapter is dedicated to _crowvii_(or yesh! Not only is Seifer the _perfect_ anti-hero, but also a very _sexy_ anti-hero. He just rocks!), _whitecat_(you leave such long reviews! ((glomps back)) Squall so has PMS. XD and hey, you're right! Total Herbal Essences commerical!), and _Beachan18_(Squall is bipolar? XD And you're right-Seify must love him lots to stick around with all his shit!)! I love you guys, thanks for the reviews!

And you know what, guys? This bad boy is fleeping **13 **pages long! Holy shit! My longest yet! So…take that as part of my apology, okay? Enjoy! And since it's been so long, he's a reminder of what happened **last chapter**:

"Can we go now?"

I closed the door. "Sorry, the cleaner labels were too colorful. What, in a hurry to get your face smashed in?"

Squall crossed his arms. "I'm in a hurry to go home."

I quirked a brow and strode towards him. "You consider Garden your _home_?"

"Yes, I do. I've been in _one _my whole life, so I guess you wouldn't understand."

I frowned, but tried to ignore the insult. "You can't just call a place like Garden your home. A home isn't just a place where you live."

Squall frowned as well. "Then where's _your_ home?"

"I don't have one yet." I explained. "But maybe I'd go back to my old house. You know, where we lived when we were kids. It's a pretty small house, but…it doesn't need to be huge-it's not like _I'm_ going to have kids. I'd just need room for myself…and…you." Squall's head jerked up to look at me. "I um…I want you with me." His blank stare was making me nervous. _What am I saying…? He doesn't even like me. **Live** with me? Not in this life time…_ "It…wouldn't be a home…without you."

Squall turned his back to me. "…whatever. We don't have time for this." With a push of a button, the air locked doors slid open. I wanted to say something, but all thoughts flew from my mind. The very first thing we noticed was the metallic smell in the air and the dimmed-if not broken or flickering-lights.

At the end of the tiny hall…the walls and floor were smeared with blood.

**

* * *

Chapter 23**

I squinted my eyes to get a better look. "Is that a…hand?"

"…that's what it looks like." Squall frowned and lead the way down the short hall. "We should check any bodies and see if anyone can be saved."

A peak around the corner almost made his statement ridiculous. "Somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem."

"Wha-" I pulled him closer so he could see what I could. Blood seemed to coat every wall, almost as if someone had run through there with a bucket of it and a paintbrush. The hand we had seen peaking out from around the corner had apparently been severed off, and didn't belong to _anyone_ anymore.

"I guess the sorceresses aren't _all_ so harmless and stupid…"

Squall looked at me like _I_ was stupid. "Obviously. It's on an individual basis."

"Did you just shoot me your 'duh' look? Excuse me, _Einstein_, but last time I checked, being a sorceress means they're possessed by the power, so it should make them all equally evil…or…something like that."

Squall sighed and continued down the bloody hall, leaving me to follow. I didn't think of it at the time, but…he was trusting me to watch his back. "They're possessed by the power, making them evil, but what they end up doing with that power is up to them."

_Well, sorry for not paying attention in class. You're rather distracting. _I watched him as we rounded the corner. "So, then…one could say the power brings out their hidden, evil…_desires_, and that's why they decide to do different things with the power."

Squall turned back abruptly and smirked just a little. "So you have some brains up there after all?"

_Mmhmm. There may be hope for me yet, huh?_ I grinned and continued after he had turned back around. "Sooo, I guess that means, if you became a sorceress, we'd be in bed all night doin' wild things, eh?-Ow! Shit! What the-"

Squall frowned. "I take it back-you really _are_ stupid, so you can't say you didn't have that one coming. And the whole point of calling them sorcer_ess_es is that they're all _female_!"

"Well, you _look_ girly enough." I was able to block the hit this time, and we continued through the winding corridor, until we came to a larger room. It, like the rest, was covered in blood. I frowned, feeling deathly cold. "I don't get it…where the hell are all the bodies? Does this thing fucking _eat_ them?"

"If it did, there'd have to be some kind of fragments left…" Squall squatted down to have a closer look. "But there's nothing here."

"…unless she devours them whole…"

The brunette rolled his eyes. "You watch too much TV."

"Well, how the hell else do you expect to explain this, huh? She drains their blood and runs around painting the walls just to scare us?"

Suddenly, a giant shadow was cast over us, and everything went black.

* * *

I awoke and immediately shut my eyes again in the dim lighting. _That was just **uncalled** for…really._ I made a show of sitting up with a groan followed by a big yawn. "Ah, that was a nice nap. You hit like a girl, by the way."

Instead of the aggravated male voice I expected, the reply was low and gruff. "Is that so?"

I tried to whip around and stand at the same time, successfully getting myself slightly dizzy while almost falling on my face. Once it…she…whatever, was sure 'she'(as we will call it for now) had my attention, she stepped forward into the light from the darkness of the doorway. _Oh, I can just imagine explaining this one to Cid. "And that, Headmaster, is how I came upon what I am sure is the most hideous face I've ever seen in my life." I mean, **Squall **looks more like a girl, and he's **male**!_ The painted face really was ugly-almost like some kind of evil clown. Said malevolent circus performer was also extremely tall-so much, in fact, that she always had to be slightly bent over to prevent smacking her head on the ceiling. The claws she had were sorry excuses for hands, so it made sense that no one else was alive on this crappy ship. _Even if she **wanted** to take a hostage, she'd end up stabbing him on accident._

It was about then that it all finally dawned on me. "Hey, wait a second, where's Sq-"

"He's dead."

I stared for a good while before blinking once. "…say again?"

Her lips curled to form an evil smirk around pointed teeth. "I must have smashed his skull when I knocked him out-he's dead."

I could hear nothing else.

_Must have smashed his skull…_

_He's dead._

_Dead._

_Dead._

_**Dead.**_

I unwilling took a step back, and my legs felt like they wouldn't hold up my weight much longer. _S-Squall can't…he can't…not when…things were **finally** looking up! Every fucking thing we've been though…only for it to end…like this? No one can kill Squall…he's not…he's not that weak! _I stared at the ground, summoning up all I hope I could, and latching onto it. "F-Fuck you…"

Apparently I had been too quiet for her to hear. "What was that?"

"I said…fuck you, princess! You can play your stupid games, but I know better! It'd take a real _weakling_ to get killed by you in _one_ shot-so there's no way he's dead! Squall…that guy could take your ass out all by himself."

The smirk unwavering, she took a step closer, not intimidated or seemingly insulted in the least. "Really? Then…why are _you_here?"

I had no ready answer for that one. _Why **am** I here?_

"_Look, Ester contacted us…they have a sorceress problem. We're the best Garden has."_

"_Then I pity them. What are we, the Sorceress Busters? I'm not a part of garden anymore, and I'm not going to drop whatever I'm doing all the time just to help when, frankly, I don't give a shit. I'm sure your great and mighty self can handle it all on your own. You don't need me, as you've always said."_

"_What if…**I **want you to help me?"_

_But that…doesn't make sense…_

"_Cid and Quistis didn't send me!"_

"_And who did, the tooth fairy?"_

"_I don't want to work with a bunch of idiots."_

"_Then work by yourself."_

_Why a bunch of lame excuses? Mr. Straight-Forward suddenly tap dancing around the issue? Not likely…_

"_Will you stop being so difficult?"_

"_Sorry, I don't know how."_

"_You're such an asshole!"_

"_You're one to talk. You wake me up to pounding at 6 in the morning, only to come in here and order me around? Well, fuck you! I don't need your bullshit-so, kindly take it with you and **leave** already!"_

"_I **want** you with me!"_

_It was all so…unlike you. All so…unreal. _

"_H-Hey…don't be getting any ideas…I didn't mean that…like **that**…"_

"_Oh? I must have been mistaken, then. So, never mind. Let yourself out, I'm going back to bed."_

"_Wait!"_

"_Hm?"_

"_I…**did** mean it like that, then." _

"_Why does this sound like you're just saying it so I'll come back for the mission?"_

"_That's not it!"_

_And then you…kissed me._

Forgetting who I was in the room with, my hands shot up and I nearly pulled my own hair out. _You're so fucking confusing!_

"So…you don't know why you're here…" The yellow eyes peered at me calmly. "Would you like to _find out_?"

I glared. "What, is that your code for 'Let's fight'? Because, according to you, the only way I could ask him, is in the afterlife."

What I took to be a smug smile 'graced' her lips. "How perceptive of you-but not quite what I had in mind. You think he's still alive, do you? Then allow me to watch your hope wither. I bet you're hungry, hm?" With that, she reached outside the door and picked up a tray, then setting it down on the tile floor and sliding it towards me. On the plate was body parts-heart, eyes, and more. I had to look away to prevent throwing up. Then I heard the sharp cling of metal. "Save me the trouble. Besides…" I could hear a slimy sound as she, I guessed, licked her lips. "…suicide is _delicious_."

When I was sure she was gone-the door locked safely behind her, might I add-I slowly turned my head, avoiding the tray at all costs. There on the floor where I expected a knife or sword…was Squall's gunblade. I walked around the room and came to a stop in front of it. _Squall…don't tell me you're…why? Why Squall? Why keep **me **alive? Just to watch me…kill myself? _

I sat down and held his gunblade in my lap, staring at it for quite some time, tracing the lion carving over and over again with my finger. _Well, if you want it so fucking bad, you can have it. Without Squall…I don't care if it's selfish, I couldn't give a shit if she destroyed the whole world tomorrow._ I raised the gunblade to my throat…

_I never knew, but…_

_Every step I've taken…_

…_had been to bring me closer to you._

_All the promises I've made…_

…_have not been kept._

_Mom…Squall…_

_Maybe somehow…when I'm up there with you…_

…_you can find a way to forgive me._

I pressed the blade to my skin…and then stopped, when I heard a muffled voice. The person had to be yelling, if I could hear it through the thick walls, although I couldn't make out the words. Suicide momentarily forgotten, I stood and pressed my ear to the crack of the door, straining to listen.

"Poor boy! Your lover has just killed himself in the other room, thinking you were dead!"

There was a muffled reply that soundly vaguely like "Fuck you!".

"Still don't believe me? Then allow me to bring his remains to you." I heard the door lock, and panicked.

_Squall! Fuck, what can I do? _

With nervous hands, I very carefully cut the shallowest line possible on my neck, while still drawing a little blood-I didn't want to die, after all, but I had to _look_ dead. Then I laid face down, my head coming disgustingly close to the tray. Seeing it in detail for the first time, I found that the eye on the plate was blue, but not at all Squall's eye color. _…I'm such a dumbass. If I had actually **looked** instead of being a fucking **sissy** I would have noticed and known he was alive._ Just then the door opened and I closed my eyes.

"I knew it." I could hear the triumph in her voice as she picked me up. "Filthy, foolish humans." I tried to hold my breath as she carried me, sneaking small amounts of air only when she made a rougher motion, so they would go unnoticed. In the back of my mind, I noted that she had left the door to my cell open.

"As promised." She dropped me to the ground and I had to resist the urge to say anything. "One dead boyfriend." She set down what I assume to be _my_ gunblade and made to exit the room. "He killed himself with your gunblade…it's only fitting you die by his." And she was gone.

"S-Seifer…" Squall reached out a gloved hand and touched my arm so gently, I barely felt anything.

I can't begin to tell you how tempting it was to pretend to stay dead long enough to see if he'd say anything, but there wasn't any time for screwing around._ But the things I told myself…they're all true._ "If you even _think_ about picking up my gunblade, I'll kill you with it, myself."

He stared at me, shocked, for a moment before looking away. "Why didn't you say anything right away, you asshole?"

I shrugged calmly. "She could have been watching. Now give me your shirt." He only stared. "Do you _not_ see me bleeding here? Crappy white shirts can be replaced, but my coat can't and my vest is thick material."

He ripped it off and kneeled beside me silently. I assumed he was having one of his inner monologues again.

Before he could do anything, I wiped some of the blood off my neck and smeared it on his. The contrast between his ghostly skin and my crimson blood was so amazing I was nearly mesmerized.

"What the-"

"No time for questions. You're going to be dead and protect yourself with Hyperion while I slip out behind her and get Lionhart. Then we take her down in this cramped space where she can't move as freely-because anything _that_ tall _obviously_ isn't human." For a second, I thought I saw a small smile of relief on his face before he nodded and wrapped me up. I hid against the wall by the door, waiting. Briefly, I wondered if this would even _work_, but Squall hadn't said it was stupid. If it was, he was probably just caught up in the amazement that I had come up with anything at all. I watched him wearily eye the partially dirty floor before laying down, and I couldn't help but comment. "You must be bad luck or something-I've been in a cell _twice_ since I started working with you."

He only sent a glare my way before the sound of footsteps caused him to close his eyes, while I silently told myself that this was the best plan in history, and we'd be able to pull it off easily, save the day, and have the hottest sex ever when we got back-since he'd owe me big for my wonderful idea. It wouldn't be _forced_, exactly…I mean, he _wants_ to-he's just shy. Really.

As Adel waltzed back in, I mentally tried to prepare myself. _Easy, easy, easy…it'll be easy. _It nearly relaxed me…until she stopped dead just inside of the doorway. Before the panic even had a chance to set in, her clawed hand flew from no where and caught hold of my abused neck. The air was choked out of me quicker than I could properly assess the situation and I felt my feet leaving the ground. It almost felt like floating…from a _noose_. Okay, so it was like being hanged with someone's bare hands.

Just as quickly as it had happened, it was over, and I hit the ground. There was just one problem: I still couldn't _breathe_! Now officially panicking, I grabbed at the tightness around my neck…and pried off Adel's hand. The oxygen rushed back into me, and I dropped the claw in favor of standing up shakily. Squall stood between me and the hideous clown, holding Hyperion clumsily. It was about then that I realized it was a bad idea to leave Squall with my gunblade anyway; Hyperion is much larger and heavier than Lionhart. It didn't mean he _couldn't_ use it-it meant he just wouldn't be as good.

Adel hissed. "Humans really _are_ foolish. You thought I had no idea of your plans? A double suicide would have been so…delicious." A new claw began to grow out of the bloody stub of flesh. "How disappointing."

We backed away and I reached for my gunblade. "New plan. I suck at magic, so…I'll take this." I grabbed Hyperion from him. "And you just do whatever you do."

"That's your _new_ master plan? Why are they always so _stupid_?"

"Hey, hey, now-do you _always_ have to be so insulting? It was _going_ to work."

"Quistis gave me a spell before we left…"

"Then use it!"

We jumped out of the way as a fireball smashed into the wall behind us. Her hand once again fully functional, Adel charged toward us as fast as possible in the cramped space.

"The destructive capability-"

"Just do it, Squall!"

She stopped to cast reflect, but there was a blinding light and then a huge explosion. It threw us back, and when the smoke cleared, I cautiously opened my eyes. The place was full of computers and equipment. "Well, this isn't the room we were in thirty seconds ago…" It was deathly silent and I looked around. "Squall?" There was rubble everywhere, and no sign of him or Adel. "Squaaall…" I crawled my way over to the nearest pile of rock that looked capable of having a person under it. I tried to lift it…but couldn't. "…well, damn. You better not be under this one. Cause I don't think you can really afford to be any skinnier." I used one of the metal doors to pry the rock up, and sure enough, there was no one there. It was the same everywhere I looked-until I found Adel. "Oh-whoa…oh, that is _sick_…" I dropped the rock back down. "And I thought she was hideous _before_…" I sighed. "C'mon Squall…I already thought you were dead once today, and that's _more_ than enough." _What if…_I looked back down at Adel's crumpled body. _What if…he really isn't okay? I got out with scratches, but…what if he didn't? What if my beautiful Squall is all mutilated now? _Before I could take those thoughts any further, I heard a soft groan, and I jumped at the sudden noise. "Squall?" I heard another, similar sound, and went towards it. Sure enough, I saw something black poking out from under more stone. With a sigh of relief, I gathered my strength and lifted the slab off of him, dropping it down next to me. "You were _literally_ stuck between a rock and a hard place, eh?" But my heart skipped a beat when I saw him, and I couldn't move.

Squall laid there, his body bruised and broken. His pale skin was deathly white in contrast with the cuts that were oozing sticky red blood. The crimson had trickled down the corner of his mouth and he coughed slightly. "Sei…fer?" He stared up at me, but…I wasn't sure if he actually _saw_ me; he seemed to be looking _through_ me-far, far away.

I kneeled down and took his hand. "Yeah, man…it's me." I nearly broke down in relief when he squeezed my hand; it was weak, but it meant he could feel me and at least kind of knew what was going on. "I uh…you know I'm not good with that magic stuff…" Using my free hand, I picked through my pockets until I found a few potions. I opened them and regretfully let go of Squall's hand in favor of propping his head up so he could drink them. I waited a few minutes, hoping they were doing more than it looked like they were doing. "How d'you feel?"

He opened his eyes half way and peered up at me. "Like shit."

I tried to grin, desperately needing some kind of relief-something to lighten the terribly dark situation. "Well, I know _that_."

"My ribs…are broken. S'hard to…breathe…" I finally noticed that his breaths were pretty loud and wheezy.

"A curaga could…make them better, right?" He nodded slightly and I sighed again. "When we get back, I swear to you, I'm going to study magic for _days_ until I pass out." _It…should be me lying there. Your spell saved us, and this is the thanks you get? Ultima really is dangerous…I should have thought about it. You listened to me…this is my fault._ "This should be the control room or something, right?" I strode over to the main panel and peered out the window. In the distance, I could see where we boarded from the vessel. Except there was no vessel. "Oh, you've got to be shittin' me. They really did leave without us! When we're safely back on earth, I'm going to bash that pilot's head in…" I picked up the radio and stared at it for a moment. _…what the hell am I supposed to do with this thing anyway?_ I clicked the little button on the side of the device. "Uh…hey, the sorceress is dead, and we'd like to be picked up now." I let go of the button and there was silence, so I tried again. "…Adel's dead, and we'd like to _leave_ now." Nothing. "Hey, assholes! I said, if you can fucking hear me-"

"They can't."

I blinked and there Squall was, in all of his dubious glory, leaning heavily on the counter beside me. I had been so caught up in my one-way conversation that I hadn't even noticed him move. "Hey, you shouldn't be-"

"I'm fine!" He winced. "I'm…fine. The potions really helped." The brunette absently tried to wipe the blood from his chin.

I stared for a minute. "The hell you are."

He ignored me and took the radio. "Notice the silence? You're not getting a signal." He looked down at the dials. "…and you won't be anytime soon. The controls are all broken. They're not getting any-" he winced again. "…getting any power."

"…so, it needs new batteries?"

Squall sighed and immediately regretted doing so, since his ribs didn't like it. "Don't be stupid."

I frowned. "We can't wait three days. I have to get you out of here."

"I'll be fine…"

"No you _won't_! This whole fucking thing-" I cut myself off and turned away from his shocked and pained expression. "This is…my fault. Why the hell did you bring me here? I haven't helped you at all. We were caught because I distracted you…I forced you to use that spell when I didn't even know which one it was. You're always calling me an idiot…"

"Seifer-"

"You think I don't know it's true? I…I can't understand…why the hell you would want to bring me with on this mission…"

A gloved hand touched my shoulder. "Because…I don't trust anyone else." I turned to see him, but he was now staring out into space-you know, _literally_. "Yeah, you're a real idiot sometimes, but…I know I can depend on you. I don't know of anyone else skilled enough that they can match me…only you. I wouldn't…" He trailed off as if in thought. "I would never…want anyone else with me."

More than likely, he didn't mean it in an intimate way at all, but I couldn't stop myself from thinking it. _Only…me?_ "We're still…friends, right?"

He glanced at me. "Do you even have to ask?"

"…yes."

He hung his head. "See, this is why I'm always calling you stupid…"

I quirked a brow. "If you weren't injured, I would hit you. You've been biting my head off this past while, so how am I supposed to know?"

"It took…a lot of careful consideration to decide to even call you my friend in the first place. If you think that I'd just throw that away so quickly…then you don't know me at all."

I couldn't think of anything to say to that right away. _Were you even mad at me all this time then? Just pissed in general? PMS?_ "Well, it's hard to get to know someone who always has their shields up at max. I'll tell you what. You want me to know you better, I want to know you better, so…let's go on a date."

He nearly choked on his own spit. "A _date_? Never mind, I don't want you to know me better."

"Oh, come on…you act like it would kill you." I walked him over to some file cabinets that were still standing and tried to help him sit down.

"Maybe not, but-" he hissed. "I would _rather_ die."

I slid down next to him. "Don't be such an ass-just _listen_ to me for a minute, okay? It's not like some _romantic_ whatever where we make out on the beach and I give you a goodnight kiss before you go back into Garden." _Though I would love it to be. But I need to warm you up to the idea._ "To anybody else, it'd just look like two friends hanging out."

"To anyone but _you_, you mean."

"Shut up. Anyway…since my plan didn't work, I guess you're not _obligated_ or anything, but would it…kill you to give me a chance?"

I waited for him to repeat his _"Maybe not, but…I would **rather** die."_ But it never came. We sat in silence for some time before I dared to look over at him, and I decided that maybe I better change the subject to something he knew how to deal with discussing. "Uh…Squall?"

"What?"

"What was it like…bein' in the orphanage all that time?"

He stared at the wall opposite us. "I was only there for a few years before I was shipped off to Garden, but…let's just say I feel sorry for any kid who ends up there."

"So it was…bad?"

"It could have been worse." He shrugged calmly.

"Well, if that's how it is…we should adopt a bunch of them when we move into my old house and save them from your fate."

"…"

_Oh, good job Seifer. So much for a topic he knows how to deal with! …not to mention that sounded **so** girly…I'm a man, dammit! A very **manly** man! Squall is the woman in this relationship._

There was a long silence before Squall spoke up. "I'm not sure which insults me more: the fact that you said '_we_' or the comment about saving them from '_my fate_.' There's nothing _wrong _with me, asshole…and we're getting you a cat scan when we get back."

_Oh, sure. Being **that** anti-social is **completely** normal._ But I kept my mouth shut. _At least he took it better than I expected._

"_That's_ why I'm not going on a date with you. Because it may just _look_ like two friends out having fun, but the whole time you'll be thinking creepy shit like that."

Then, something just…happened. It made me think of everyone else who had ever found out that I was okay with guys.

"_Yuck, look, Mary, that's the one!"_

"_You mean the one who likes other guys?"_

"_Yeah! Isn't that sick? I bet he likes pink!"_

"_Yeah, that's creepy! Someone should call the police on him or something!"_

"_They should lock him up until he likes girls again!"_

And then…they laughed. They _always_ laughed. _Now I've **finally** found someone I really care about…and this is what I get? You, Squall, of all people…should know how it feels to be the one everyone's always laughing at. The one people dislike, isolate and ridicule. Can you really forget lessons learned in such painful ways?_

I stared down at my lap, trying hard to keep my voice level, and failing. "And what the fuck's wrong with that?"

"…what?"

I stood and kept my back to him. "_You've_ kissed me and you have the fucking nerve to call me gay and act like it's some kind of forbidden fucking _freak show_?" I whipped around and glared at him. "Newsflash, sweetheart! You're no more straight than I am. I guess I really did have you all wrong, though. So if that's how it is, you can take your friendship and shove it so far up your ass that the stick that was already there will have to come out your ear!" I stormed to the doorway and paused. "I figured…that _you,_ of all people, would understand. I really am pretty fucking stupid." That said, I left and stomped around the ship.

* * *

It didn't take long for me to start feeling guilty about leaving him there. I was getting hungry, so he must have been, too. While part of me felt he deserved it, the other part asked _What kind of a man leaves his best friend all mangled up? He could need your help!_

I finally settled on looking for food on my way back…except that I didn't know which way "back" was. It didn't help that they apparently had no directories on the walls. "You expect me to believe these idiots knew their way around perfectly? Yeah, right." _The door should be open…I left it open._ Most of the doors were marked, and I grabbed whatever supplies I figured we'd need. That is, until I saw _it_. It being the perfect way to escape. I dropped the stuff I'd found and ran around the ship in circles, before settling for: "Squaaaaall! I'm lost…" After the 50th time or so…

"And pathetic." Came an answer at last.

I went in that direction and in a smaller corner I found the open doorway. "No wonder I couldn't find this damn room…" Squall was exactly where I left him, not looking at anything in particular. "I uh…I found a way to get us out of here. So I figured we should go."

He wouldn't look at me. "…Rinoa was here."

"W-_What_? Did she do something to you?"

Squall shook his head. "No…she came for Adel's powers."

"Hold it! Hold it. How the hell can she even be alive in the first place? We killed her, remember?"

"She obviously didn't die."

I thought about it. "We never did hear her smack the bottom…so she came for Adel's powers? Why didn't she kill you while she had the chance?" I paused. "Oh-that's right. You're the one she's still in 'love' with."

Squall frowned. "She said she'd be seeing us 'in the future', and to 'look forward to it'."

"Yeah, look forward to kicking her ass maybe." I shook my head. "Anyway, like I was saying before…there's one escape pod left. It's meant for one person, but we could squeeze in…"

"Maybe if you weren't so big-"

"Hey, _hey!_ I am _not_ fat, okay? Okay."

Squall sighed. "I said _big_, not-"

"Big is just a nice way of saying _fat_. Don't screw with me-I know how people work." Squall promptly rolled his eyes as I helped him up, and we began limping our way to the escape pod room.

_Squall should know how to work it…right?_

* * *

When we entered the room, I suddenly remembered. "Ah, shit…I forgot our gunblades. Can you get in this thing by yourself?" Squall merely nodded and I took off for the door. "I'll be right back."

After retrieving our cases, I had to do a little searching. I found Squall's easily enough-it was still in my cell. My own, however, was all scratched up under rocks. "Ugh…my poor baby!" I hugged the gunblade. "Don't worry, Hyperion." I started for the door. "When we get back, I'll make you brand new! It'll be like this never happened. You take care of me, I take care of you, remember?"

_Smash!_

I whirled around, only to see Adel standing, "Y-You're supposed to be dead, you over-painted clown on stilts!" Not waiting for a reply, I took off for the pod room. Squall was inside it when I got there, waiting. "Problem!" I put the gunblades in their cases and tossed them down to him. "Adel's _alive_." I scrambled to grab some food and water-who knew where we could be landing?

"_Alive?_ But, that's not-"

"I don't really care what it's _not_ right now!" I dropped the gathered items in and lowered myself in carefully. I caught a glimpse of Adel before I closed the hatch as quickly as possible.

"What the hell are you doing? If she's alive, go kill her! She has to be weakened by now, and she doesn't have any powers."

I stared at him. "Easy for you to say, Mr. I'm-Injured-So-I-Can't-Do-Anything! I'm _not_ going out there."

"And you call _Zell_ a wuss?"

"_Chicken_-wuss." I looked around. "So how do we get this thing moving? You know, before she rips it open." Then I saw it. "Hey! Look at this." I pointed to a red button. "The label says 'Mother ship self destruct'."

"There's no where to set a time limit…"

We could hear Adel's claws scrape against the metal of the pod.

"Then get us the fuck out of here, cause I'm pressing it!"

Squall hit a few buttons and we heard metal doors close, the scratching coming to a stop. The pod seemed to be moved a little before suddenly shooting out of the ship at high speed. If there had been room to fall over, we would have. I pressed the mother ship self destruct button and five minutes popped up on the little panel.

We both breathed a sigh of relief.

Pressed tightly against each other in the small space, Squall eventually got tired of trying to hold his head away from me and laid it against my chest. I could feel his heartbeat elevate slightly and smirked to myself.

"I'm…sorry."

The smirk fell. "…for what?"

"Whatever pissed you off before. I wasn't aiming to-"

"Eh, forget about it." I took the opportunity to rest my chin on his head and snake my hands to his hips.

"Then…are we still friends?"

_That sounds familiar…_ "Do you have to ask?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" I paused. "I get mad over shit pretty easily sometimes. If you thought I actually meant what I said…then you don't know me at all."

"Hey…" He sighed, but I could feel him smile. "Using my own words is cheating."

"Really?" I quirked a brow. "I didn't know there were any rules to this game."

"Rule number one: don't touch me."

I snickered. "Little hard to accomplish in here, princess."

He narrowed his eyes and glanced up at me. "I don't think massaging my hips is part of the necessary contact."

I met his cold stare with a smirk. "It's necessary for _me_." _You know it feels good._

He gave up easily and rested against me once again.

"Sooo…about that date."

And that's when our little pod, supposedly bound for earth, began shaking violently.

…_oh fuck._


	24. Chapter 24

I Promise

Hello all. It's been a while again, huh? Sorry. My life's been pretty tough lately. One of my dear pets died and well…things are just all around bad. But so what else is new with me, right? This is only five pages as opposed to 8, 10, or even 13. I hope you all enjoy it anyway, just don't kill me for my cliffhangers. I can't help it.

This chapter is again dedicated to my buddies whitecat and crowvii! You guys rock, thanks for the reviews, even though I can't reply to them! Then again, I have your email, whitecat…well, email me if it suits ya, crowvii. And speaking of VII, I just saw FFVII:AC, and that rocked, too.

Okay, shutting up. Enjoy!

**

* * *

Chapter 24**

And that's when our little pod, supposedly bound for earth, began shaking violently.

…_oh fuck._

I tightened my grip on Squall and buried my face in his silky chocolate locks. I have to say, it felt like something out of one of those movies, when the main characters are about to die together. "Squall, if we don't make it out of this, just remember I-"

He hastily pulled himself from my 'iron hold of death', glaring up with me. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Well, if we're going to die, I'd at least like to have some hot-"

"Shut up! We're not going to die, dumbass. If you recall, we set the timer for _five minutes_." He stiffly pointed to the panel, which now read 0:00.

"…oh." I sighed. "You know what sucks about being in a tiny space with you?" I made sure not to give him time to answer that one. "You're touching me, but it's not _voluntary._"

"If knocking you out for the remainder of this trip counts as touching you, _that_ would be voluntary."

I rolled my eyes at the brunette. "Oh, yes, I _really_ get off on that kind of thing."

Squall quirked a brow, and his expression was so…so…_cute_, that I just wanted to kiss him. "Why not? You get off on everything else."

Without a second thought, I pinned him against the opposite wall and attacked his neck with bites and kisses. "I get off best on _this_."

He hissed. "Ass-that hurts. Get off me."

I slipped my knee between his slightly parted legs, my thigh easily rubbing him through his tight leather.

"A-Ah-Seifer! Fuck! Stop it, you asshole!"

I suddenly hesitated. _What am I doing…? I said that I wouldn't force him into anything…but I just…want…_ "Why…can't you love me…?"

But Squall couldn't understand the whispered words against his neck. "What?"

Quickly, I let go of him and turned away, which wasn't easy in that cheap tin can. "…sorry."

There was a long silence before a gloved hand touched my shoulder. "Look-" But then the ship was shaking again, and he fell against by back, clingingto my trench coat. "It-we must be entering earth's atmosphere."

_Trying to comfort me? That's a little out of character for you, isn't it? _"We could be entering an asteroid field for all you know."

"…"

I silently sighed while mentally yelling at myself for being so god damn stupid. _He was actually being all nice, and you fucked it up…again. That's great. You'll never know what he was going to say after 'look' now. Great job, Seifer._ "Why doesn't this god damned piece of shit have seatbelts? Are we supposed to just flop around when we crash?"

"…I don't know."

"Well, I guess we'll find out, huh? They should have at least put a fucking window!"

The shaking came to a stop after a moment, and something was definitely different.

"…do you feel that?"

I felt a nod against my back. "It feels like we're dropping-we must be back on earth, that's the only way to have gravity."

"Unless we're landing on an alien planet-I knew I should have grabbed our damn space suits!"

"Neither will matter much when we hit the bottom…"

I froze. "…what?"

"Are you stupid? At this speed…" He paused for a moment before finishing. "…we'll die, Seifer."

"…and there's not enough time to screw each other senseless, is there?"

He let go of me, most likely in disgust. "Is that _all_ you think about? Look, they wouldn't have designed it like this. There must be some kind of-"

And at that moment our little tin can suddenly jerked and we hit the ceiling.

I grabbed my head. "Ow! Fuck!" I pulled my hands back-no blood. _Phew…that was close. Where the fuck are the seatbelts?_ I turned around. "Hey, Squall, you-"

He was slumped down, holding his forehead, but I could still see the crimson dripping down his face. He whispered my name. "Seifer…"

"Fuck!" I kneeled down as best as I could in the tiny space. His shirt was already ripped to shreds from tying my neck, so I quickly took off my trench coat. _Sorry, blood cross…if it wasn't a matter of life and death…_ I started ripping it. No, I didn't have a name for it, it just seemed like the thing to say. I found the actual injury and tied the makeshift bandage around the brunette's head. "You better be okay…this shit can't all be for nothing." _That jerking better have been a parachute. We're falling still, but not so quickly…I think._

Squall could only mumble "Shut up already…" before blacking out and slumping against me.

"Shit, shit…" I felt for a pulse, and luckily found one. "Okay…don't you die on me…or I…I…" _What…would I ever do?_ "Or I'll…I'll never forgive you!"

When I thought about it, it didn't seem like a very big threat, considering who it was directed at. Since when would Squall ever care if I never forgave him for something? Squall was the kind of person…who did just fine on his own, even if he didn't honestly like it that way. He never cared what people thought of him, could care less if someone was mad, or crying…he didn't need people's forgiveness or approval. Or at least….that's how he made it look.

_But maybe…deep down…you need things just like everyone else._ I gently tucked some of the silky locks behind his ear. _Maybe you really do need friends and approval and love…are you scared?_ It almost seemed ridiculous. Squall? Scared? Yeah, right. He was always calm, even in battle. _But can someone who's fearless in battle be afraid of things that appear to be so much more simple, but are really complicated beyond belief? Is it possible that Squall is really just…afraid of all this?_

* * *

Eventually, we landed, and I didn't know what to do from there. Would we die? But apparently, our little pod sent out a signal to the main earth base, so they could locate us. _At least this piece of shit did something right!_ Squall went right to the infirmary where they healed him up a hell of a lot better than I ever could, but he had yet to wake up. So I just stayed by his side…waiting. Sure, my handsome face was probably the last thing he wanted to see when he woke up, but…_we're friends, right? _It had been about three days since we had gotten back.

Just as he was waking, I draped the remains of my coat over the chair next to mine. "Good morning, sunshine!"

He groaned and covered his eyes with his arm. "Wha…" His voice cracked and I propped him up, giving him a glass of water that he happily sucked down. His eyes were still closed, as if it was too bright for him in there. "What…happened?"

"Well, apparently that piece of shit was actually good for something."

"Piece of shit…?" He finally cracked his eyes open, just a little, giving me a confused, sleepy look.

"The tin can we were in."

"…oh." He looked down at his lap. "So what happened?"

"It had a parachute. Then I used my superhuman powers to fly to the base with you and save the day."

He covered his face with his hands and sighed. "Seifer…"

"Okay, okay…the thing sent out some kind of signal, so they could locate us. Then the _doctors_ saved the day. Happy?"

"To be alive, yes."

"…but not to see _me_."

Squall sent a glare my way and rolled his eyes. "I don't see how that matters at all."

"Well, it does!" I stood and turned away from him. "It matters…a whole fucking lot. God damn me for being weak enough to admit it…god damn me for…needing you so fucking much! I was fine being an arrogant bastard…until I met you. Just…_fuck_."

"Seifer-"

I got out of there as quickly as I could.

* * *

I took a walk outside the base.

_How did this get so…messed up? We were doing just fine the other day and now…I don't know. I guess this is what I get…for falling for someone-a **man**-who'll never give a shit about me. Friends can never be good enough…but knowing that, can we even stay friends? It would be…so much less painful if I just…left this place. If I went somewhere he could never find me-not that he would ever search. He needed me for this mission, and that was all. We're back now…so what were you expecting, Seifer? Another willing kiss?_

"_Cid and Quistis didn't send me!"_

_Yeah, right…I bet they did. There's no way in hell you'd want to see me. You asked me to go, you let me go…there was no reason to want me back._

"_I **want** you with me!"_

_No…you really don't, do you? It would cause you trouble, kill your reputation…it's…_

_It's better this way._

"Seifer!"

But I heard the warning too late and smacked right into the person. It was Squall, surprise surprise, but at least I was able to catch him before he hit the ground. "Oh…it's you." I set him back on his feet.

"I was looking for you."

I quirked a brow. "Whatever for?"

"Look, I…"

I waved him off. "Forget it. I hit my head, too, remember? And I never had it cured. So don't worry about it. We're friends, right?"

"…yes, but-"

"Then it's cool. No hard feelings." I smacked him on the back with enough force to almost knock him over. "C'mon, let's get something to eat!" I started off, and therefore missed the entirely puzzled look he gave to my back.

_The quicker I move on, the quicker I can…forget._

* * *

We were back in Balamb by dark, and after a nice little dinner, that thankfully _he_ paid for, I drove him to the Garden.

"You have to come with me."

I quirked a brow. "What? Need me to hold your hand?"

"Shut the hell up! We have to report to Cid. You were there, so you should report, too."

I sighed. "You make it like he doesn't trust you enough to take your word for it." I got out of the car and followed him.

"I was out half the time."

I let my shoulders slump. "Fine…" We went the rest of the way in silence, catching the headmaster just as he was about to lock up and leave.

"Sir, we would like to report."

"Oh, you're back!" Cid smiled and reopened his office doors, ushering us inside before sitting his round self into his big cheese chair. "By all means, report."

I crossed my arms and let Squall go on and on about it. It turns out that I didn't even have to say anything at all. The brunette explained everything, even the parts that I had told him about, concerning what had happened while he was unconscious.

Once we had left the office, and made our way back towards my car, Squall glanced up at me. "Thanks."

I stared at him. "For _what_? I didn't even have to tell the guy anything! You could have done just fine without me." _As usual._ When there was no answer, I turned to go to my car. "See ya around-"

I stopped as Squall grabbed a hold of my sleeve. "…wait."

I turned to look at him, but he was staring at the ground, his silky hair shadowing his eyes from my sight. "What is it?"

"I…"

After some hesitation, I put on a smile. "What, can't live without your friend nearby? It's cool-I'll come visit sometimes. It's not like I'm disappearing or something, right?" I got into my car, holding onto the last fragments of my mask, while I was dying inside. I started up the car, but Squall was by my door.

"Our…that date…"

I tipped up his chin to make him look at me, and I smiled again, pretending not to see the strange sadness in surprisingly unguarded eyes. "Just forget about it. You don't owe me anything, anyway." _I have to be…your friend now. Why did you even bring it up?_

He pulled away and looked down again. "…right."

"See ya around."

"…see you." He sounded a little choked up, but I figured it was something else. _Because if it isn't something else, then all those other things would have been delay tactics…and if those things were him trying to get me to stay-I don't even want to think about it. I can't go in circles with you forever. I…I'll never love anyone else, but I…like to know where I'm standing. Do I even…stand **anywhere** with you?_


	25. Chapter 25

I Promise

((sigh))…I feel like shit. Life really blows, doesn't it? Well, here we are again, and pretty quickly this time. 25 chapters, 127 pages, and 51,795 words…thanks to all of you for staying with me through his thing, It's gotten to be way longer in 25 chapters than I ever thought it'd be in 35!

Chapter is dedicated to crowvii! Yes, I _loved_ FF7:AC! Okay, "Dilly Dally, Shilly Shally" just means exactly what it says. To dilly dally is to procrastinate, and to shilly shally is to move on. So Tifa used Aerith's line to get through to Cloud, telling him to stop dilly dallying and to move on with his life. Like she said, "So…which is it? A memory, or us?" I confess, I've never played the game, wish I had, so some things confused me till I looked them up. But that made sense to me, at least. Ha ha…oh well. Too bad they can't really make an FF8 one, huh? The ending was too wrapped up. And we wouldn't want to see Rinoa anyway! I'd _pay_ them to make a FF8 yaoi movie-ooooh, to make my story into a movie! Lol that'd be cool. Okay, I'll shut up now.

25th chapter! And I promise(...ha ha), next chapter we'll have some yummy SeiferxSquall fun! Enjoy, everyone!

**

* * *

Chapter 25**

It had been six months since I'd seen Squall, and it was when I flopped onto my bed after leaving him that I realized I'd also left my trench coat behind. I supposed it didn't matter, since I'd ripped it beyond repair anyway, and it wasn't something you could just buy another of. Out of the three most important things in my life, I'd left two behind-Hyperion being the third which I actually did take with me. But that's pretty depressing.

Working for a living wasn't as simple as I had thought it would be. Since my arrival at Balamb Garden, I had decided that if the Garden didn't work out, no big deal, I'd just get a job-I'd never worked a job before, so I can see now that I was pretty ignorant. I lived in an apartment-small and cheap-and there were bills to pay, groceries to buy…it was hardly easy. Balamb being Balamb, I worked down at the docks, loading heavy crates, unloading heavy crates, moving heavy crates…it was a bore! Not that it mattered. At least it kept my muscles happy.

I had meant to go visit Squall a lot sooner, that is, until I got to having too much to do-not that I saw him trying to come visit me, either. I worked six days a week, sun up to sun down, and my one day off, Sunday, I just wanted to relax. Weeks turned into months-six, to be exact, and I…I missed him more than I could ever put into words. Not a day went by that I didn't think of him. But…the more I thought about it…the more time that passed…I felt like…

…_if I see you again…_

_I might not have the strength to let go._

* * *

"Sunday at-fucking-last!" I stretched out on my cheap couch and flipped on the tiny TV. The screen was so small, you almost had to get right up next to it to see anything; so I used it mostly just for listening, as I would probably fall asleep with the boring selection of channels. The whole apartment was a piece of shit, but the price was a lot smaller, so who was I to complain? I was just starting to drift off into a nap when there was loud knocking on my door.

_Oh, no…not that bitchy landlady again._ I groaned, refusing to open my eyes, or the door, for that matter. "I'll pay rent next week, promise!" And then I waited for the standard reply of _"If yer promises were pennies, I'd be a rich one by now, ya good fer nothin' ox!"_ Did I mention that the job doesn't pay much? Well, it _doesn't_.

"I'm not here to collect it."

I sat up. That certainly wasn't the old woman's voice. In fact, it was male, smooth as silk, and-

I jumped up, threw open the door, and…there he was, looking exactly the same, and standing in the hall. Squall stared up at me, and we didn't move for some time. It's not like I'd changed a whole lot; I'd forgotten to shave for a few days, and I might have been a little more tan. My hair was a tad longer and I was too lazy to gel it back everyday now. Why look good for a bunch of sweaty guys at the docks who have more hair on their chests than I'll ever have on my entire body, _including_ my head?

"Can I come in, or…?"

I stepped aside and stupidly gestured for him to come in. It was like my voice didn't want to work. Squall looked around a little before sitting down on my couch. I closed the door and took a seat next to him. It was then that I noticed it. "What's the box for?"

He looked down at it, refusing to meet my gaze. "You…left your coat that day."

I tipped my head to the side, puzzled, though he wasn't even looking. "I know. It was all ripped up, so…"

"I thought you said you were going to come around…that it wouldn't be like you had disappeared." It wasn't a question, it was a _statement_.

"I…" _Since when do you care? I figured…it wouldn't matter to you._ "…I didn't see you coming here, either."

He shrugged. "I didn't have your number or anything. I had to ask around a bit just to find where you were, since the hotel told me you weren't staying there anymore."

"Well, if you want the stupid number, I'll-"

"No."

…_no? What does that mean? Is this…our last visit, then?_

He practically shoved the box into my arms. "I don't need the coat back-"

"Open it."

I blinked. "Why?"

He sighed. "Will you just do it already?"

"Fine, fine…keep your panties on." He simply growled in response, and I opened the box. What I saw was black and red. "What the…" I pulled it out, and it looked the same as my old one, except black instead of grey. _You can't buy this anywhere…_ "How did you-"

"I had it made." was the only explanation he offered.

_Why? Why would you do that…for me?_

He stood up suddenly. "Come back to Garden."

_You made me leave, and now you want me back? At least not wanting my phone number makes sense now._

_Is the coat just a…bribe? _It almost made me angry. "What, is there another mission I'm needed for again, and you guys are sick of asking favors? So I should just come back so I can be commanded instead of asked?"

He frowned down at me. "There is no mission."

"There isn't one _at all_, or there won't be one until I'm safely signed back in?"

"Going on missions is part of being a SeeD."

I sighed and looked down at the coat in my hands. "Can't I just…get the truth out of you for once?"

"Are you saying I'm not being honest?"

"I'm saying you don't make any fucking sense!" I stood up and towered over him, the coat still in hand. "You want me to leave, then you want me to stay. You care about me, then you don't. We're friends and then we're not. You want a hell of a lot from me! So what am I supposed to do? What is it you _really_ want from me?"

Squall turned away from me. "How should I know…what this is…?"

I blinked. _What…?_

"If you don't give a fuck, then don't come. I…shouldn't have asked so much of you, anyway."

I reached out a hand for him, but he ran to the door and left as quickly as possible. "Squall…" I looked down at the coat again.

_What were you talking about?_

_The last thing I want…is to get my hopes up again. _

_But I…_

* * *

It didn't take long to make my decision, and before I knew it, I was once again chatting with the girl at Balamb Garden's front desk.

I quirked a brow. "You new or something?" Of course, _I_ was the one who hadn't been there for months. I was also the one holding the bags. I could be new for all she knew.

"Nope, just filling in!" She beamed at me. "Name's Selphie! How can I help ya?"

"Seifer Almasy. I left Garden, but now I'm back. I need the papers to-"

"Oh! It's _you_!" She practically bounced around. "Squall told me you'd be coming!"

_Wow, someone had too much sugar-wait a second…_

"…_Squall_ told you that?"

"That's right! Now where did I put the forms he gave me…" She started digging around the desk.

_Hmph. Cocky bastard. He was so confident that I'd be coming back?_

I crossed my arms and frowned-that's when it came to me. _She seems like the type to talk a lot…_ "Are we talking about the same Squall? Ice princess? The strength of a man with the looks and curves of a woman?"

She blinked up at me. "Um…yup! That's the one! I didn't think there were any other Squalls…ah! Here they are!" She handed me the forms. "Just fill these out and see on the bottom here? Sign it on all of them."

"Thanks. I was going to be living somewhere else, but he said it was too lonely without me and made me come all the way back! I mean, what the hell, right? Can't decide whether he wants me or not."

She stared with wide eyes. "You're…friends?"

"Lovers." I happily corrected. "I guess he ultimately decided that the killer sex makes up for all the princess jokes."

"You…he…" She gaped like a fish out of water.

"Here you go!" I flashed her my best smile, which complimented my new trench coat,as I handed back the papers. "Nice talking to you, Selphie!" And with that, I walked off to my same old dorm, leaving her to stare after me.

_I wonder how many days it'll take for that one to get around…_

* * *

Squall was already sitting outside my room when I arrived there.

"Well, well, well…look who was so sure I'd be coming back. And what if I hadn't?"

He shrugged. "Whatever."

"Exactly that.

"The SeeD have all been moved to bigger dorms. I'll show you your room."

I quirked a brow. "Can you carry my bag, while you're at it, sir?"

"…shut the hell up." And with that, the brunette started down the hall.

I had to admit, the new rooms were nice, not to mention I was next door to Squall, so I certainly wasn't going to complain.

I flopped onto the soft bed. "Ah…now this is what I'm talking about."

Squall stayed in the doorway, his arms crossed, as if he refused to step in without permission. "Hungry? Lunch is going on right now."

I hadn't eaten yet that day, and the gurgle in my stomach made up my mind for me. "Starving."

We made our way to the cafeteria, side by side, in silence. I was trying to come up with good material for conversation, and he was probably trying to think of ways to counter it so that I would just shut up. The food was the same, but as Squall put it: "What, you expect to say 'I'm a SeeD' and get something special?" Personally, I think he was starting to sound more and more like me everyday.

Once seated, I picked at the food, suddenly not quite so hungry. "Hey…"

Squall looked up from his weapons monthly as his consent to continue.

"What have you been doing all this time?"

He shrugged and looked back down at the magazine. "Easy missions, time in the training center…nothing exciting."

_Did you…think of me?_

At least, that's what I wanted to ask. But I already knew I couldn't bring myself to ask it. "Any Rinoa sightings? She did say we'd see her again."

Squall shook his head. "Nothing."

"Hmm…"

And that when Selphie showed up. She bounced up and down, only stopping to snap pictures. "Oh, you two are so _cute_! Please hold hands! _Please_? How about kissing? We can go somewhere…private! Teehee!"

Squall glared at her and I coughed lightly. After a moment, she let her shoulders slump. "What? Was it all a lie? Seifer, you meanie!" She hit my arm playfully, and suddenly, the ice cold glare of death was directed at me.

…_uh oh._

"Selphie…" I tried working my charms on her to get me out of this situation. "Would you like to go somewhere? Now?"

"Oooh, right now? Hmm…"

But Squall answered for her in a way that made my blood run cold: "He's not going _anywhere._"

Selphie gasped and gave me a look as if asking 'It _wasn't_ a lie, then?' "I remembered, I was going somewhere with Irvine anyway. It's okay!"

"Irvine…?" I looked to the ceiling, but I could remember no such person.

"He's there, sitting next to Zell!" She pointed a couple of tables away.

I squinted. "The guy next to chicken-wuss? The _cowboy_?"

She nodded with another 'teehee!'. "Well, I better go now. I'll leave you two alone!" She took one more picture, winked, and left.

Then I stared down at my food, praying to Hyne that Squall would magically forget or something…but I could feel his piercing stare.

He growled. "Almasy…"

I gulped. That was the first time in a long time that he'd called me by my last name. "Yes, Squall…_dear_?"

"Meet me in the training center in five minutes." And then he walked out. There was no mistaking that those five minutes were for grabbing our gunblades.

_Ooooh, shit…_


	26. Chapter 26

I Promise

Long time no see! Yeah, I know. I promised you all "soon"s and "almost done"s! And it really was-I wasn't stringing you all along. However, some big stuff came up, and this past weekend I was gone on family/personal business. I'm physically and emotionally drained-not that I expect you guys to feel sorry for me, haha. So I finished this up. I know, I know, I STILL haven't set up AFF all the way-I'm sorry. So, for now, just tell me your email address if you want the lemon, okay? Be sure to put spaces between everything since FFN doesn't like links or emails. Example: kuchiki(underscore)Rukia (at) aol . com so put dashes/underscores, etc in parentheses, otherwise, just use spaces. I assure you, your email addresses will be used for nothing but sending the lemon, and then I never look at them again. I had to do the same with another fic. I'm sorry, really…I just feel like I'm short on time. Before the crisis, my room was moved to the basement and I still haven't freaking gotten everything back into place! Okay, that's all. Enjoy! I hope you guys forgive me and still want to read the story, even though I'm so mean as to make you all wait so much.

Dedicated to Whitecat! ((hugs and cookies))

**

* * *

Chapter 26**

I knew there was something amiss the very moment I stepped inside the mini-jungle that is the training center, Hyperion at my side. Squall most certainly should have been there before me-yet here I was, all by myself, the brunette no where to be seen. And then I saw it-just barely-out of the corner of my eye, at which point I hardly had enough time to lift Hyperion and prevent myself from getting sliced in two.

"Shit! Were you _trying_ to see if you could cut my head off? I didn't think sneak attacks were your thing." _He must be pretty damn mad…_

"I knew you could handle it." We broke apart and stepped back, watching each other.

"If I'd been a little more distracted or turned, I never would have noticed-so how do you know that?"

He frowned. "You're the only one that could ever match me." And he lunged in again, trying to keep me on the defense, but he still wasn't back in tip top shape from his stay at the infirmary. It was a tough decision, really. Kick Squall's ass and make him even more mad at me, or let him win and end up looking like an idiot. _Maybe I could…is a draw possible in these kinds of situations? Should I just wear him out, and then pretend to be worn out, too?_

We clashed again. "Well, that's quite an honor, coming from you." As we pushed against each other with all our strength, our noses almost touched…and I couldn't just skip an opportunity like that. Mustering up my best agility-which is difficult, considering I'm big and bulky…NO FAT JOKES-I leaned in and gave Squall the quickest kiss in the universe. It wasn't anything more than the slightest touch of lips, and yet I could practically feel the rage his aura emitted. For the briefest moment, I wondered what he was pissed about most: what I did, or that I just wasn't taking the fight seriously enough for his standards. Not that I _wasn't_ taking it seriously-every fight is serious-it's just too easy to get him worked up. The best part of ruffling Squall's feathers? Only _I_ can do it.

_But saying I feel special would make me sound like a girl. Manly love is different from girly love, dammit!_

With the extra boost from his anger, Squall easily pushed me into defense, and I calmly tried to calculate how long he'd be able to keep it up-except that I'm not good at that kind of thing. It was just another distraction that I didn't need…which I realized when a sharp pain entered my left shoulder.

A quick glance down confirmed that Squall had gotten me good. I growled. "Asshole! You just bought me this coat!" I slapped on a grin before adding "I hope you can sew, princess."

A low grunt, and Squall was coming at me again, the familiar fire burning in his eyes that I only saw when we fought, ever since we were kids. But maybe it's just me.

After a while, I started thinking that I must have misjudged his condition. _C'mon…just get tired already._ But it was stupid of me to ever hope for it. Squall wouldn't quit until he was flat on his back, and there would never be a draw unless we knocked each other out-which only happens in fist fights.

Ducking under one of his swings, I attempted to trip him, but by the time my blade was near him, he had rolled to the side and gotten to his feet.

We watched each other again, each waiting for the other to make a move. And then, among his gasps for air, he panted "Seifer…"

That alone was enough to send some blood rushing south, and though distracted only for a second, that was all he needed to have me flat on my back with his gunblade pressed to my throat.

…_maybe I need to lose some weight-I mean, get more muscle!_

"That was really cruel."

A small smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth and he pulled his blade away, turning his back on me and heading for the showers.

I snickered. "What, no victory dance?"

He shrugged. "I don't dance."

"That was a joke." It was hard to stop laughing at his literal mind.

"Whatever." We entered the locker areas and after only a moment's hesitation, Squall began stripping down and depositing his things in a random place. I had a serious case of drool going on, but I was still able to notice how he folded each item of clothing before putting them into the locker. _Ah, that's just like you._ I also managed to undress myself…somehow.

I followed him into the giant open shower, grateful for the first time that they were built like that. Ignoring my presence easily, he picked a random shower 'station' and turned the water on.

_Fine, I see how it is._

Trying to pull off the same technique, with feelings of anything but indifference radiating from me, I took the one across from him, so our backs were to each other. As soon as the water sprayed down on me, I was jerked back to reality by the sting from the cut on my shoulder. I hissed, but quickly set about rubbing the unscented soap over myself. "_Thanks_ for saying _sorry_."

_Since when do I…care if you apologize?_

There was no reply for a moment, until his soft voice drifted to my ears over the loud shower spray. "…you deserved it."

"_Deserved_ it?" I blurted out and whipped around, staring at his back as he washed himself silently. "You're the one who's been such a bastard to me all this time, and I _deserve_ it? All I've ever done is what you've wanted, so you can stop jerking me around now! It's obvious you don't care about me like that, okay? Thanks_ much_, I get it already! I'm trying to be your friend now, and you keep fucking up my reformation! Why do you think I left in the first place, huh? I'm sick of this fucking game of tag!"

At some point, he had stopped moving altogether, and now stood there silently, the water beating down on his pale skin. And I had to admit…

_You're…beautiful._

"Seifer…" But before I could answer, he turned around and buried his face in my chest, his arms wrapping tightly around my naked waist. And I…couldn't move. _This...is a dream, right? _It was the first time that he was openly showing any affection towards me-not because he needed something, not because he felt obligated, not because we were in a cramped space, but…because he _wanted_ to. Coming to my senses, I gently returned the embrace. "I'm…sorry."

I blinked. "I was being sarcastic…I didn't expect anything."

Squall jerked back and frowned up at me. "Not for the cut, moron."

"Oh, so you're _not_ sorry for that."

He sighed. "Shut up."

"Ok, ok, ok."

"I…"

"Love me?"

"Seifer!"

I winced at the echo of his cutely annoyed voice that seemed to make the temperature drop. Wait, how is that 'cute'? "_Okay_, sorry."

He pulled away altogether and turned back to his shower. "Nevermind."

"Oh, _hell_ no! You started this, now finish it." _I…want to know what you're feeling for once._

"It's nothing."

I sighed. "We both know that's bullshit, so save your act for some other circus."

"I…" he was the one to sigh this time. "I never know…when you're being honest." I was about to interrupt, but decided it was better to keep my mouth shut for now-just to make sure I got to hear it all, since it's not everyday that Squall Leonhart offers to speak his mind. "One minute you're happy with me, and the next…you're angry. I don't understand you at all. All I can figure is that…_I'm_ the one doing something wrong. But even still…you keep coming back over and over again. You keep asking what I want, but…what is it _you're_ really after? Half the time we're just friends, and half the time you want to fuck me senseless-I…I thought I loved Rinoa, but…what I feel here is something…completely different. Does that mean that…I never loved her, all along? Or that…I don't really feel anything for you?"

"Well, I'd say-"

"_Don't_ answer that."

I huffed. "Fine."

"Is love…all the same? Or are there different kinds? And why me? I can't understand yourdamn obsession with me!"

I turned to wash my short hair quickly, since he wasn't watching me anyway. "Last time I checked, the beauty of true love is supposed to be seeing something in someone that no one else sees."

"That's so _sappy_-"

"Hey! Did I criticize _your_ love talk?"

"…fine. And what is it you see, then?"

"I see…" As the last of the soap came out, I turned to him, only to find that he was already facing me expectantly. "I see a stubborn asshole who's so scared of his own damn feelings that he hides them behind the stick in his ass-"

"Thanks."

He began to turn away, but I grabbed hold of his shoulder and pulled him to face me. "Did I say I was done? You don't think much of yourself, but you're the most beautiful person I've ever met-"

"So it's physically based?" He pulled away and started washing his hair. "Stop thinking with your dick, asshole."

"God dammit! You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?"

"No."

"Fuck." I sighed. "Look, maybe everyone else just sees this anti-social asshole, maybe even I did at first, but I can still see parts of that stupid little kid who was crying into my shirt telling me how he wanted his mom back. I can still see the kid that was annoyed at me for messing up his delicate nose. Maybe I didn't know much about you until I got my memories back, but I…like to think I've earned everything I've learned about you."

He rinsed his hair, refusing to look at me. "And before you got your memories back? How could it have been anything then?"

"I…don't know. But just because it isn't explainable in words, doesn't mean it isn't there." I waited for 'You watch too much TV.' or 'You're one of those lonely idiots reading ten cent paperback romance novels, aren't you?' but it never came.

After some silence, as the last of the soap from his hair went down the drain, he dropped his arms to his sides. "Then…show me."

_I **can't** be hearing that right._ "…what?"

"You said…you said that it can't be explained in words. So I want you to…show me…"

In that moment, suddenly, all of the things I had been dreaming about for so long began to _scare_ me. I'd had sex before, sure, but I'd never 'made love' to anyone. It was never about them or what they wanted…it was only about pleasure for me. The act in itself wasn't what scared me, or the fact that we were in public showers. What really frightened me…was having to try to _show_ just how much I love him. When you get right down to it, I'd always thought it'd be a piece of cake, but…how can you make someone _feel_ that you love them? What could I do differently than before to show Squall it wasn't meaningless? Even if I poured my heart and soul into it, there was no guarantee that he would feel anything from me at all. He could deem me a liar, and walk away right then. And that…frightened me more than any battle I'd ever been in before.

There was silence for some time before Squall looked down at the tile, a defeated tone to his voice, no matter how hard he tried to sound indifferent. "Now you don't want to…? Whatever."

He reached for the knob to turn the water off, but I wrapped my arms around him from behind, effectively stopping the motion. _I'm…scared. _I rested my chin on top of his head and sighed lightly. _That's what I want to tell you, but I…_

"…now do you see what I mean? You confuse the hell out of me! Are we doing this…or not?"

_I don't know if I can…convince you…_ Instead of answering him, I leaned down and began attacking his neck with kisses and bites-fully intending to mark him _mine_. I was a little surprised when he tilted his head to the side, allowing me better access-that is, until I remembered it was mutual. _…but I sure as hell won't pass up an opportunity to try._

* * *

It took forever and a day to dress, but I didn't mind. "Class…" he started. "We have to go to class…"

"Fuck class. I want to sleep." _With you._

"We'll be in trouble again…"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. C'mon." I dragged him out of the training center and towards the dorms, thankful that everyone _else_ was in class, as well as that no one had come to the showers while we were there. _If they had, Squall probably never would have forgiven me…haha!_ Pulling him into my room and closing the door, I stripped back down to my boxers and crawled in. He followed shortly after, and I wrapped my arms around his small frame, pulling him closer. After some time, I felt the need to ask "…do I pass?"

"Mm." He rested his head against my chest.

"Is that a yes?"

Soft lips pressed against my chest in confirmation. It was about then that I realized…I hadn't made him touch me at all. I didn't worry that much about pleasuring myself like I had every time before. I pressed a kiss onto the top of his head and whispered into chocolate locks "I love you." Whether it was because Squall fell asleep or just didn't want to say it, the lack of response didn't bother me so much this time. I knew that he felt _something_ for me, and I was willing to wait any amount of time to hear those three words from him. I knew I'd get irritated eventually if it took him far too long, but right then…I felt like I could wait for all the time in the world.

The only thing I _couldn't_ do was sleep.

_What will our lives be like now…?_


	27. Chapter 27

I Promise

Hello all! Surprised to see me again so soon? I felt bad because a lot of you thought it was over! Well, quite a few of you already know, so I'll just say it outright: there are THREE if not FOUR more bosses left to this story, along with plenty of angst and relationship problems...and lemons. So, nope, not over. Just to prove it, here's your new chapter!

This is dedicated to whitecat and especially beachan, who I stupidly forgot to add last time. So sorry! ((cries))

**Hint**: something said in this chapter nearly gives away the big disaster that happens next. Can anyone guess?

**

* * *

Chapter 27**

I awoke to bright light and an empty bed. _Maybe stealth is his thing after all. _Taking in my surroundings, I finally heard the shower running. Grinning with mischief, I snuck towards the door and attempted to open it quietly-get the jump on him. I turned the knob, but nothing happened. The door was _locked_.

"Nice try." Came the voice from inside.

I crossed my arms. "You know, isn't that a little rude? You spent the night in _my_ dorm, you're using _my_ shower…I mean, the least you could do is let me help you save water."

"My ass hurts enough, thanks."

"I never said we'd-"

"You didn't have to."

"Fine. _Whatever_." I huffed. "I'm done talking to this door." I went off and grabbed some clean clothes, quickly pulling them on and storming down the halls to the cafeteria for some breakfast. _What's the big deal? It's not like I haven't seen him naked…and if he said not to do anything, I wouldn't. So what gives?_ I was nearly there when I spotted the piece of paper stuck to my trench coat. I hoped no one else had seen it before I had. I hastily grabbed it and almost balled it up before I realized it had words on it.

In a delicate cursive that could only belong to Squall, it read:

_I fixed your coat. Sorry for messing it up._

_S.L._

Disbelieving, I grabbed at the shoulder and had a look. Just like he said, the cut was sewn-and done well, too. _So he **can**__sew?_ All my anger over the shower business melted away and I felt pretty guilty for taking off. We had a lot of things to talk about, and I had a feeling Squall wouldn't want to talk about them within 100 feet of anyone else. Turning around abruptly, I smacked right into a running Zell, who hit the ground immediately. I _almost_ felt bad. "Geez, Chicken-wuss, I'd have thought you would have learned not to run in the halls by now. What's the rush?"

He stared up at me before jumping to his feet. "So you _are_ back! That's great! Now Squall will be back to normal! Oh, and they're serving hot dogs in there today, so I don't want to miss them!" he automatically started shadow boxing.

"For breakfast?"

He shook his head. "Nope, I'm hanging around till lunch! My morning class is canceled. I'll get some for sure this time!"

"Uh huh…you always miss the hotdogs." Then it came to me. "Wait, what did you say about Squall?"

"Nothin' special, I guess. Just that he was all pissy and stuff the whole time you were gone. He talked even _less_ than before and he skipped class a couple times. Every time someone mentioned you, he would get even _more_ pissy and say how he was going to go down to town and kill you when he got some free time." He gave a nervous laugh at my unhappy expression. "Well, ah…welcome back! See ya!" He ran into the café.

I may have _looked_ unhappy, but secretly, I was pleased. _So he really did want me back because he cared._ I laughed a little to myself and took off for my dorm.

* * *

"Whaaat?" I looked around, in the bathroom, and even under the bed. No Squall. "Damn…" I checked his dorm next, but there was no answer. "Son of a…" But, sure enough, when I entered the classroom, he was there, at Quistis' desk.

"Seifer!" She smiled with a false pleasantness that made me cringe. "Come, join this discussion."

"…do I have to?"

"Yes. Why were you both out yesterday for the second half of class?"

_Think fast!_ "Squall caught the flu or something at lunch. I went to take care of my _dear_ friend, and then I caught it, too. Isn't that horrible?"

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose as if thinking 'Why do I waste my time with this moron…?' And Quistis, of course, could tell it was a lie, anyway. "About as horrible as you two having lunch detention with me today."

I groaned. "Again?"

"Again." She smiled. "And as many times as it takes to whip you two into good students."

"But I _am_ a good student, Instructor…" I tried the charming smile, but _nothing_ works on this lady.

"Good, perhaps, in skill. But you're lazy, late and absent."

"What about _Squall_?" I brought the nearly invisible lion into it and he had a bit of that 'deer caught in the headlights' thing going on.

"Squall _was_ a fantastic student…a teacher couldn't ask for more."

"Was?" Said boy frowned and crossed his arms.

"This one-" She pointed at me. "-has obviously corrupted you."

I burst out laughing and they stared at me. _More than you know!_

"Seifer's not a bad person." Squall let his arms drop to his sides. "Lazy, manipulative, stupid, clumsy, late, absent, and an asshole…but he could be worse."

Quistis gaped at him, as never before had Squall stood up for anyone. "_How_ could he be worse, exactly?"

"He could be the _enemy_." Squall crossed his arms and started off for his desk as a few students came in. "I don't know about you, but _I _wouldn't want to have to fight him."

I blinked and followed him to the desks. Quistis simply called out "Don't forget that you have detention with me today!"

"Yeah, yeah." I waved it off and took my usual seat, which was, sadly, too far away from Squall. So, like usual, I wrote on paper and threw it at him whenever dear Instructor wasn't looking.

_Thanks, I guess. But a little out of character for you, don't you think?_

As predicted, he shrugged and crumpled it up. So I tried again.

_We do have some stuff to talk about…want to ditch lunch detention?_

He shook his head no and crumpled it up. I sighed, wondering why_ I_ was doing all the writing.

_Why not?_

He finally wrote back:

_Because then we'll have them for a month._

That made sense.

_Good point. Then let's go to my dorm after part 2 of class?_

He nodded and stashed that paper with all the rest. I briefly wondered if he kept them or threw them out later.

It was no good. I couldn't pay attention in class. All I could think about was the person I had made love to the day before. Raijin even whacked me over the head when I was staring at Squall all too openly.

"I know you've got it bad for him, but you shouldn't make it so obvious, ya know."

I gaped. "You-"

He pointed down at my notebook. "That doesn't look like class notes to me, ya know." I followed his gaze, and sure enough, I had written something girly about loving Squall.

I scribbled it out. "Haha…you really believe that, huh? It's just a joke, like always."

"Sometimes, you're too easy to read, ya know."

"Erm…" I panicked a little. It was no good for someone to find out before we'd even talked about what we're doing. "Keep it quiet, okay?"

"Sure, sure. Just don't let anybody else know, ya know. They might not listen to you, ya know."

"Uh huh…" but my mind was already gone, and back on Squall.

* * *

Class was about to come to a close when Quistis received a message that Squall and I were to report to the headmaster's office immediately.

Making our way to the front of the class, I elbowed Squall. "Hey, that means no lunch detention!"

But just when we were going out the door, Quistis called. "That's _two_ detentions now!"

"Dammit!"

Squall just smirked. "Spoke too soon."

I let my shoulders slump. "That woman's out to get me…you're just getting dragged along for the ride."

As usual, he shrugged and that was that. We rode the elevator in silence and made our way to the big double doors. Squall knocked, and Cid permitted us to enter.

"Have a seat, kids."

_Um, excuse me? Kids?_

We sat and waited patiently.

"Now, I know you're probably very well tired of all this…but there's another sorceress."

I yawned-this was getting old. Squall was more curious than I was. "How did you find out about this?"

"An…anonymous tip, you could say."

"How do we know we can trust the source?"

"The source is very reliable, I assure you. Now…"

_Which is your way of saying you know who it is and just aren't telling us._

"This time will be more difficult than the others, but I'm sure you two can handle it. You've been in _space_, time travel should be no problem-"

"Wait, wait, wait. Excuse me? _Time travel_? Are you nuts? That's not even possible!" I frowned at the old geezer and crossed my arms as if I were trying to copy Squall.

"Oh, it's possible. We've found someone who can do some very amazing things. Her name is Ellone, and she will be the one to transport you through time. From there, you must find Ultimica-that's the sorceress-and defeat her. She threatens our current way of life-because time travel is possible for her, as well. That's how powerful she's become. She must be stopped."

Squall had ceased all movement around the mention of the girl, and it made me wonder.

"Do you both accept this mission?"

I snickered. "Do we have a choice?"

The old man smiled at us 'kindly'. "Not really. That's all, you're dismissed. You'll be leaving tomorrow, so mentally prepare yourselves."

And just like that we were kicked out of his office, unable to ask questions. Something about an 'important meeting' that he had to attend. "That old geezer's really off his rocker. I mean, _time travel_?"

"Mm."

I glanced at Squall who was staring blankly ahead. "Okay, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing…"

"Stop bullshitting me! After hanging around you so much, I think I understand you pretty well. It pisses me off when you lie so obviously like that!"

"That girl he talked about…I know her."

"That Ellone, or whatever? You know her? It could be someone else."

"No…not many people have that name. It's…unique."

I could feel some kind of jealousy begin raging within me, but I tried very hard to contain it. "Right. And this person is…who?"

"When I was at the orphanage…" Squall sat down in one of the hallway wait-to-see-Cid chairs since no one was there, and I followed suit. "There was a girl named Ellone. She was like a big sister to me. But…"

"But?"

"She was adopted a long while before I got to go to Garden. It made me…jealous, and angry. I felt like she'd abandoned me, and so…things weren't well between us when she left. I've let it go, but…I wonder if she's still mad?"

"Who cares?" I frowned, to show him my displeased feelings on this subject. "If she hangs onto the past, that's her problem. You're different now-who knows if you'd even want to be friends with her?"

"I don't know…but I want to see her."

It made me…so mad. "Fine, then." I went to Cid's door and poked my head in. There was a strange flash of light, but I decided to ignore it. "Hey, is that Ellone chick here yet?"

"I-ah-that is…" He composed himself. "Yes, she's staying in dorm 234 for the night. Please knock from now on."

"Right. Thanks." I closed the door and grabbed Squall's arm, dragging him to the elevator.

* * *

Squall seemed in a daze as I knocked on the door. There was no answer at first, but just as I was about to knock again(in an irritated way, mind you), she opened the door and I nearly hit her in the face.

"Oh!" She jumped.

"…sorry." Was all I offered. She was cute, but nothing I'd be interested in. At least, not anymore. She stared at Squall, Squall stared at her. And I got even more pissed off.

"Squally!" She lunged forward and gave him this big octopus hug. "It's been forever! I never dreamed we'd be meeting again! I'm so sorry for when we last saw each other…"

"It's alright. You look…well."

_He's…voluntarily trying to make conversation with her._

"And so do you! Wow! A SeeD for Balamb Garden! How did you know I was here?"

They talked on and eventually I just turned and walked off. It's not like I could hear any of it anyway-not with my thoughts running wild.

After a moment she noticed. "Oh-isn't that your friend? He's leaving?"

Squall glanced at my back, looked down, and then back at her. "Don't worry about it."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Come inside! We have so much to catch up on!"

It'd been a long time since I'd felt so rejected. Even if he didn't like her in that way, he ignored me for her. I'd never seen him that openly friendly with anyone but me…and it _hurt_. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt, but I could think of nothing else. Before I knew it, I was back at my dorm, and locked myself inside. Shutting the blinds on the window, I curled up on my bed, boots and all, trying to make sense of all this. But it didn't work-nothing made any sense. So there I stayed, falling further into the darkness.


	28. Chapter 28

I Promise

Hello again! This was another fast one. And six pages, too. Nothing like a little motivation. Of course, this was an angst chapter and I'm super pissed lately, so it worked out nicely. Enjoy.

This chapter's dedicated to Florinoir(haha, you're so right about Squall being blunt. Read the chapter-was the fight like you imagined it? I'll bet not!), Beachan(I didn't forget you this time! Seifer…yes…sensitive…absolutely. ((cough)) heehee. Squall does deserve a little payback though, huh? I wonder if what happens in this chapter is enough? Probably more than enough.), and whitecat! Thanks for the reviews, guys!

Note: I didn't proofread this one well because of some...issues at home and i have to go now, so...excuse any errors.

**

* * *

Chapter 28**

They say that it's easiest for a sorceress to gain control of someone with a weak mind. And in a state of depression, your mind _is_ weak. How would I know? Let's just say I figured it out when Ultimica took control of _me_, there, in my room. I never thought…I would be so _weak_ as to be…susceptible to her evil. It was a different kind of control than the studies we'd read about in class before. I could think freely, but she was there, in my mind. Thinking was about all I could do, as I had no control over my actions or words. I tried to fight it, but by the time you realize it's happening, it's too late.

_Let me go you fucking freak!_

'_Now why would I do that? Be a good little boy and relax-everything will be fine.'_

_I'm not a little boy!_

'_What, you don't like being a little boy?'_

_No! Shut up, you hag!_

I struggled more, but my body just wouldn't do anything I wanted. She made me walk up to the mirror and sneer into it. The one change in appearance that I noticed were that my eyes were a yellowish-green, instead of jade. All I could do was hope to hyne that whoever saw me noticed.

'_Give it up, little boy. There's no way you can stop this.'_

_What do you want me for?_

'_Simple…I know about your plans to try and kill me. I'll artistically foil your poorly made strategy…with ease. Wouldn't it be **beautiful**…killing everyone you hold dear with your own hands? And then, leaving you on your own, a weak mind like yours…would commit suicide. Delicious.'_

_I've heard that somewhere before…_

'_Adel, perhaps?'_

_God dammit! Now I can't have any thoughts to myself!_

'_Poor little boy. You're all so stupid. This is bigger than you, Almasy. It's bigger than all of you. I **controlled** Adel. She was my puppet, just like you.'_

_But…_

'_Enough talk. It's time to begin. Let's bring on the pain.'_

I exited my room, and most of the hall lights were off. How long had I been in there, like that? It was after hours already.

'_Your little **lion** isn't back yet-that means he stayed the night with-'_

_Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! You don't know that he's not in there!_

'_I can sense that he's not. What more proof do you need?'_

_He's not in there you fucking hag!_

My body walked up to the door and knocked, then again and called for him. But just like Ultimica had said, there was no answer.

_God dammit…it's…he's not…_

'_In love with someone else?'_

_Shut up already!_

'_You're thinking it. Now…I think we'll visit your other little friends before we…interrupt Squall and his childhood love.'_

_I was his childhood love you piece of shit!_

'_If the best you can do is insults, this body will be mine forever.'_

But no matter how I struggled, nothing happened…not even so much as a hitch in my steps. And before I knew it, I found myself in front of Zell's dorm. I knocked.

_You're stupid. He's the least likely to care._

'_I think you underestimate how many friends you have.'_

"Go 'way, I'm sleepin'!"

"Get off your ass, Chicken-wuss! It's important."

A moment later Zell's door opened and he stared up at me in his red and blue pajamas. "…Seifer? What the hell are you doing here?"

_No! NO! Close the door right now you fucking idiot!_

I pushed him inside and shut the door behind me. "I told you, it's important."

"Okay, so what is it?"

"I need you to…"

Zell looked concerned and stepped closer. "To what?"

_No, no no!_

"Die!" A bright blue glow was instantly around my hand, and before Zell could even register what I had said, my palm came into contact with his chest and he flew across the room, bringing down all his pictures and breaking his lamp before he landed in a bloody, crumpled heap on the floor. Then I came to a realization that terrified me: I had no control over my body, yet I could feel _everything_.

' _That's a special type of magic that I made, myself. It stops the heart.'_

_No…_

I bent down and dipped my fingers into the sticky crimson covering the carpet. I brought my hand up for myself to see.

'_Beautiful.'_

_I'll kill you._

'_And how is that?'_

…

'_Just as I thought. Little boys are always all talk.'_

_I'll fucking kill you!_

'_It seems the rest of your friends will have to await their fate. They'd be no match for me anyway.'_

…_what?_

'_Your little lion is about to be coming this way. And while I could save him for later, it's better to do it now, and not waste anymore of your pitiful mortal strength.'_

_Don't touch Squall!_

I stepped out of Zell's dorm, closing the door behind me casually, and began walking. Sure enough, Squall rounded the corner just ahead, stopping when he saw me. "What are you doing out here?"

I stopped and frowned, crossing my arms. "I could ask you the same question. Why were you with her for so long?"

Squall shrugged. "We had a lot to talk about."

_See through it, see through it, see through it…_

"Or a lot of fucking to catch up on."

The brunette promptly scowled. "What the hell's your problem, Almasy?"

_C'mon, Squall, see through it!_

"See-"

"See what?"

And I had felt it. For only a second, the control had slipped…but I didn't know why.

"See…it's always everyone else before me. Everything else before me…and I've had enough."

"What the fuck are you talking about?

_No! I had it! It's not me! Squall!_

'_He can't hear your pitiful thoughts. You're such a selfish little boy. Indeed, the only reason you want to save him, is for yourself. You didn't try very hard to save your friend. Everything you've ever done has only been for yourself.'_

_That's…not true…_

And yet I felt myself believing every word.

_Someone…save me…_

' _There's no one there to save you now. Admit it-you're not **worth** saving.'_

_I'm…not….worth…_

I took Hyperion out from its hiding place in my coat, and threw it at Squall's feet, the clang of metal echoing throughout the hall. "Pick it up."

Squall did, but made to hand it back. "Are you _trying_ to wake everyone up, you moron?"

"Defend yourself."

"Wha-" He barely brought Hyperion up in time to prevent the fireball from going right into his face. "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

_Squall…_

_I can't even…save the person I love most…_

"I'm saying goodbye."

_I really am…worthless._

There was a mix of shock and hurt in his expression. "Why? I didn't do anything!"

More fire, keeping him on the defense. "You had it right the first time. I don't give a fuck about _you_. I always get what I want. You didn't go easy, but finally, I made you mine. That's all I wanted. You're my biggest conquest. I always knew…if I could get _you_, I could get anyone. Because no one's as fucking stuck-up and hard-headed as you are."

_No! It's not true! It's…it's not…_

"But…you…you always said…" Squall quickly went pale.

"What, that I 'love' you? Ha! Love? What a fucking joke! There is no love, only pleasure. That's what I want. And you stupidly believed every bit of it! Maybe you're more of a pushover than I thought!"

_Don't listen! Please! I'll do anything-kill myself, even-just stop! Don't…don't do this…to Squall…_

' _That's too bad. I'm having so much fun.'_

With Squall's guard officially down, the next spurt of fire easily knocked him over. "What's the matter, cupcake? Can't take a joke? Didn't you have fun, too?"

Squall stood slowly. "Don't…"

I quirked an eyebrow and waited.

"**_Don't fuck with me!_**" And he charged at me, holding Hyperion a lot easier than I ever thought possible for him. Ultimica was careless, I realized later, because giving him a weapon was a bad idea. It may have helped hold up the hoax, and she may have been good at magic, but ducking away from the blade made magic harder to build up. And then…well, let's face it, the mortal body can only do so much. As much as she may have wanted to make me quick like Zell, I'm just not the right size. Again and again, Hyperion-Squall-made gashes all over my body. I could feel the pain…everything burned like I was on fire, but Ultimica wouldn't let my body stop moving.

Dripping blood everywhere, Ultimica made me smirk. "What, that's the best you've got? Such a disappointment. You know what else is disappointing? _Rinoa_ was a better fuck than you! All that time, wasted…"

Squall came at me again. Ultimica was prepared in that small time, and used a spell to easily blow him backwards, where he smashed into a wall. People were cautiously watching from their doorways now, but dare not come out. It was only a matter of time before staff showed up.

_Squall! I suck at magic, idiot!_

"Notice!"

Squall stared, confused once again. My hand began to glow with the same magic that had killed Zell, and inside I was panicking. The brunette was coming again, and just as Ultimica went to make a move again, I got control for a split second…and made Ultimica miss, sending Hyperion straight through my chest. Squall stood there, frozen in time, the shock on his face telling me that he somehow expected me to dodge him.

At last he pulled the blde out and I crumpled to the ground. I coughed up blood and Ultimica brought a small smirk to my face once more. "Foolish boy…I've made you kill the only person you really loved. Perhaps it was you I should taken all along…but this little boy was all too easy. Nevertheless, alone…you will never defeat me."

"U-Ultimica?"

And suddenly, she was gone from my mind. I couldn't move, my vision was going red, but she was _gone_. "S…Squ..all…"

Bringing his face close to mine to hear my whispers, I could just make out…his tears. "…Seifer…?"

"I..m…s-sor..ry…"

"It…it wasn't you. It's not…"

"…love…you…"

"Seifer…"

"…"

"Seifer! Hey!…t-this isn't funny…Seif? Seifer! God damn you, open your fucking eyes! Seifer! Open…open your eyes…Seifer…please…don't…" he buried his face into my bloody chest. "…don't leave…"

Slowly, his sobs became silence in my ears…and there was only darkness.


	29. Chapter 29

Okay, I know. "You updated so fast last time, so what happened?" Well…life happened. The shittyness of it is really getting on my nerves. Sorry for the wait, everybody. Please accept my crappy life-sucks-and-a-job-is-hard-to-find apology. Love and cookies to all you guys, because I'm getting so many reviews from you guys! They make me smile, if not laugh, and give me good ideas. So, thanks.

This chapter is dedicated to crowvii(((return huggles!)) thank you! Makes me happy to know you care!) and whitecat(still out of cookies? ((gives you some)) I'm so sorry that teh last chapter freaked everyone out! Oh well...haha)!

At first I wasn't sure I liked this chapter at all…till I got this idea and well…I guess it's okay now. Yeah. I really struggled with this one. I feel so bad for leaving you guys hanging after Seifer's death-and I'm sorry I didn't have enough tissues to go around! Enjoy!

AND THE DAMN RULERS AREN'T WORKING! So you'll all just have to deal with dashes that I pray show up. Fun times.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chapter 29**

"…it's been…not waking…"

"Shut…"

"Don't kill…not worth…"

"…said shut…"

"…don't…not coming…"

"…out…"

My consciousness kept slipping in and out. I could only just barely hear some words being spoken. It was a familiar voice and…someone else. But then there was silence again, and I desperately tried to get a hold on reality. Everything hurt badly, and I hardly remembered why. And then it was there again, just like when I had 'left'…his sobs.

"You…fucking liar…you said that you'd be here…when I needed you. You promised…"

_But…who's? Why are you crying? _Now that I could form complete thoughts and hear properly, I tried to see, but my eyelids felt so heavy…almost like I was exhausted. Why was I exhausted? At last, I forced my eyes open, only to shut them again in the bright light. _Am I dead?_ The bright lights, an angel's sobs, it all added up on my boggled brain: I was _dead_.

_But, wait. You don't feel pain after you die, so what the hell is this? …no pun intended._

A few blinks and I could see that the brightness was just lights in the ceiling. I turned my head painfully, trying to get a look at the 'angel' who was crying. "W-Who…" My throat burned with each word I tried.

The brunette's head shot up and he stared at me with wide eyes. "Seifer…?" He looked pale and thin, but still…beautiful.

_Sei-what?_ "Um…sure?" Next thing I knew, I had a face full of chocolate locks.

"God dammit…she was ready to give up on you, idiot…"

"Kinda…hurts…leggo-ow…"

He reluctantly released me and frowned, trying to assume a more normal, tough look. "How…do you feel?"

_Lost…_ "In pain…you're _not_ the doctor, are you?"

The brunette quirked a brow. "Very funny."

"…right. So who is?"

His brows furrowed in concern. "What's wrong with you, Seifer?"

It made me kind of…angry. Like this person expected me to know all these things when I'd just gotten there. "I don't _know_! What's with this 'Seifer' thing, anyway? Is that what people from this country call everyone? Where the hell am I, even?"

He stared at me for a long time. "If this is some kind of moronic joke, it isn't-"

"It's not a joke! If _you're_ not the doctor, then why are you in here?"

And then there was silence.

"…say my name."

"Your name…?"

"_Tell me my **name**_!"

He seemed so…upset. The worst part was that I couldn't figure out why. I wanted to comfort this guy, but I didn't know _how_. "I…I can't…I…I don't know…your name…"

He looked down, his hair shadowing his eyes before whispering "I see…" With that, he stood and opened the door.

"W-Wait! I _want_ to know your name! Come back…"

"I'll…get the _real_ doctor." And he walked out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hmm…" The dark haired doctor frowned. "It seems this is Ultimica's doing."

"Ulta-who?" I'd finally been given some water when she came.

"Ulta_mica_…she's a very powerful sorceress who took control of you before you nearly died."

"Oh, so _that's_ what this giant scar thing is, right?" I peeled at the bandage across my chest, trying to look under it again.

She smacked my hands. "Don't do that! But yes, that's what it is. And while under her control, you nearly killed Zell…"

"Zell? Is that the name of someone's pet dog or something?"

She shot me a glare. "Zell is a _person_!" The doctor sighed. "Luckily, she missed the heart, so he lived-barely. In any case, it appears she has erased your memory as a final _gift_…"

"Why?"

"Probably because she knew you wouldn't die, and this way, no one's going to try to make you go after her if you don't know anything. What _do_ you remember?"

"I…"

…_stormy eyes…_

_A touch of skin…_

…_panting voices…_

_Pain…_

…_his tears…_

"…not…enough."

"…mm. This is bad." She turned and threw away a couple things.

"Hey, Doc…"

"Yes?" She turned to face me.

"Who was that guy…? The one that was in here when I woke up?" _I must know him already, then…maybe he can help._

"He has requested that you not be told his name…he wants you to remember it for yourself."

I sighed, getting frustrated. "Well, what was he…? To me, I mean."

"Your best friend, dear. Any other questions and you best ask him, yourself." She did the doctor thing and washed her hands with a boatload of soap. "All I can say is…I hope you get back to being yourself, soon…even _I_ miss the arrogance."

"_Arrogance_? What the hell kind of person was I?"

"You'll just have to find out for yourself." She smiled. "I know you can do it, Seifer-there's never been a mission you couldn't accomplish, or a goal out of your reach-as long as I've known you, that is. So, I have faith that our Seifer will come back."

_But…if **your** Seifer comes back…what will happen to **me**?_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a few more days before I was allowed to leave the infirmary. Everything had healed up pretty well while I'd been out for months. Dr. K admitted that she was on the verge of giving up on me, just because of how bad _that guy's_ health had gotten in that time. Why did he care so much? I needed to find out.

I felt like all eyes were on me as I entered the cafeteria, and I didn't like it one bit. And then, somehow, I knew: Find the only pair of eyes that isn't on you, and you'll find him. _But how would I know that? _After the gooey something-or-other was plopped onto my plate, I turned to have a look around. Sure enough, sitting at a corner table by some windows was _that guy_, seemingly much more interested in his magazine than me. I hesitantly made my way over to the table, and sat down across from him. It all seemed…familiar, somehow. "Um…hey."

"Hey." He answered casually, not even looking up.

I glanced at his reading material, and then at his untouched plate. "Shouldn't you eat…? That doctor said-"

"I'm not hungry."

"Uh…okay." I tried a new subject. "What's with the weapon pictures in there? Are you some kind of collector?"

For the first time that day, he looked up at me. It was a nasty glare, but it held some sort of…hurt, deep within.

_Stormy eyes…_

"It's Weapons Monthly." He explained at length, looking back down at it again. "We always look it over to see the newest upgrades we can get on our gunblades."

"Gun-whats?"

He frowned and grumbled. "Nevermind."

"No-wait! C'mon, I want to know…" _There's just no making conversation with this guy, is there? Are they **sure** he was my best friend, and not my worst enemy?_

He suddenly pointed out the windows at some cliffs overlooking the ocean. "Be up there in five minutes."

"_Ooooh, shit…"_

_Where did that thought come from? Who says I'm in trouble? Maybe he just wants a nice place to sit and tell me everything I don't know…yeah, right._ "Do I need to bring anything, _princess_?" I covered my mouth instantly, and he sent another glare up at me-but this one held…hope? "S-Sorry! I…I really don't know where that came from…sorry…"

"Whatever." And he walked out on me again.

_Oookay, I really don't get this. So I'm **supposed** to be arrogant? I was me when I called him princess, but **not** when I apologized…? I think my head's going to split open…_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I went up to the cliffs right away, having nothing better to do, and waited. _It's pretty hard to think things out when you don't know anything…_

"Ready?"

I got to my feet and turned towards the voice, finding _him_ there. It was quite a sight to take in-he was just so…breathtaking. What worried me where the two, long sword-like things he had, one in each hand. "Ready for _what_?"

He threw the larger to my feet. "Pick it up."

I did so and frowned. "Look, I don't even know what this thing is-"

"Defend yourself."

"_What_? Are you insane? You'll kill me!"

"_I'm saying goodbye."_

He began giving light swings that I was just barely able to block. I noted that I wasn't holding the thing right, and corrected myself. He nodded and came at me again, a little bit harder this time. A move came to my head suddenly, and I executed it with a half turn.

Slowly, they were all coming back-every move I had learned to do with my gunblade. And just as I was getting the hang of using them again, he stopped and approached me. "You're still not Seifer." And he set his hand on my shoulder and _pushed_, sending me on a downward plunge to the ocean.

All I could do as I fell was call out his name…

"Squall!"

Then, I hit the rocks and everything went black.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I jumped up in the bed, covered in cold sweat, before sinking back down in pain with a groan.

"Nngh…Seifer…?" Two sleep-filled stormy eyes peered up at me in the dim light.

"…S-Squall? This…is this real? I…I'm not just _dreaming_ that I remember everything?"

He blinked a few times. "What the hell are you babbling about?"

I sat up again and reached out, running my fingers through soft chocolate locks, letting the relief creep in. _It was just a dream._

"You're going to reopen your wound, moron. Lay back down."

I sank back into the pillows. "Thank fucking Hyne…"

Squall stared, as if awaiting an explanation.

I decided to give him the short version. "I dreamed…that I couldn't remember anything-not even your name. But at the end…you pushed me off a cliff, and I remembered it. I think I died on the rocks at the bottom, though-isn't that shitty?" I gave him a relieved grin.

But he didn't look too relieved at all. "I…thought I really _had_ killed you."

"Squa-"

"All because…even though I've known you for all this time…I didn't realize how wrong your behavior was." He stared at the ground, voice laced with guilt-something I didn't hear very often. "I'm…sorry…Seifer."

I reached out with a small smile and ruffled his already messy hair. "Hey, I'm still alive, right? Stop beating yourself up for it, Squall…it's not like I blame you. Ultimica, on the other hand…I'm going to fucking _kill_ her. With one of those big, insane smiles on my faces. Like all those psycho killers you see on TV! And you're going to help me. Won't that be great? But I expect a big psycho-killer-smile out of you, too! Got it?"

Squall laughed just a little bit around his tears, but it sounded too…sad. "Got it."

"You're _agreeing_ with me? What's _wrong_ with you?" I tilted his chin up to get a better look at his face…and it was _heartbreaking._

The tears wouldn't stop flowing down his flushed cheeks, incredible pain and sadness in his amazing eyes. "It's…all my fault. I could have killed you, Seifer…"

The smile fell off my face and I brought my other hand up to swipe the tears away with my thumb. "…you're so beautiful…" I pulled him closer and brought our lips together. He was trembling, but I wrapped my arms around him, reassuring him as much as I could that everything was alright.

We broke for air and he rested his head against me. I could feel his shaky breaths on my neck as he whispered "I…I think I might…love…you…"

I stared in shock a moment before I pulled him up for a deeper kiss.

_Oh, yes, life doesn't get better than this._


	30. Chapter 30

I Promise

You know, I realized not long after I posted it that I gave the last chapter a happy ending instead of a cliffhanger. What the shit? Haha-don't worry, I'll make up for it. Mwaha! It's been 30 chapters, 158 pages, 64,776 words, and 339 reviews. Thanks for sticking with me this long, everybody, and I hope you continue to stick around until the end. Who knows how many chapters are left? 10? 3? I guess we'll find out. This chapter is a liiiittle confusing, so for those who don't quite get what happens, I'll have an explanation at the end. Sorry again for the delay, but well…that's life, eh? Man, I'm tired.

To those who I owe PMs or emails, I'll get to it tomorrow, I swear! Erm…maybe I shouldn't swear on it…

This chapter is dedicated to _crowvii_(that's good! Not the almost dying part, the forgiving me since Squall admits his love for Seifer part. Heehee. Then at the bottom of the review it said "I" and then nothing…so…typo? Accident? FFN being an ass?) , _Florinoir_(XD that was funny. How's Zell? Oh, good question. I'll address it next chapter, if I can remember. Thanks!), _Amazed_(thanks! Yeah, I try to make them longer, but if I made them any longer than this, I don't doubt it would take too long and you'd all die on me in suspense!), and _whitecat_(it's my fault for not telling you I updated. Sorry!)

And an extra special dedication to Angels-Obsession, cause she's going through a rough time. Down with relationships! ((randomly burns underwear, socks, pictures…)) It's cheer up time with Squall and Seifer! ((gives you plushies, candy and yaoi pictures of SeiferxSquall)) Now let us drown in our own drool-a truly fitting end for yaoi fan girls.

**

* * *

****Chapter 30**

"Now, wait, say it again. I don't think I really heard it the first time."

"Fuck you." But Squall was _smiling_.

"I would like that very much."

Realizing what his words had implied, Squall fixed his gaze on the wall, as if there was something really interesting there. "…whatever."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I never said-"

"When can I get out of this shit hole?"

Squall frowned, his embarrassment gone. "You've only been here for three days. Dr. K said she wanted to make sure you were stable before performing any kind of real treatment…"

And then a devious thought wormed its way into my head. "…what time is it?"

The brunette gave me a strange look before getting up to poke his head out the door and ascertain the time from a nearby clock in the hall. "After midnight." And he took his seat again.

"Oh, really…?" I couldn't keep the grin off my face and he saw through it immediately.

"What are you planning?"

"Heal me up, Dr. Leonhart!"

"No."

I sighed. "C'mon…the only useful thing you've learned from me is swearing? Fuck waiting for the doctor! I want out of this Lysol factory and into a real bed with _you_."

He scowled. "What makes you think I want any part of that?"

"Because you love me." I replied matter-of-factly.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as if getting a headache at the realization that his uttering of the forbidden "L" word had trapped him into doing my bidding for the rest of our relationship-which would be forever, of course. "…Seifer, they're going to come and check on you in the morning…"

"Too bad I won't be here."

"I suppose it's never occurred to you that _I_ could get in trouble for this?"

"Nope. If you're that worried about it, just tell them I healed myself and came to see you. Simple as that."

"Right-except it's not. Everyone knows by now that you suck at magic, and they know I wouldn't have left here."

"That's very touching…" I noted seriously, and Squall refused to make eye contact with me. "But can't you just heal me already? Do you _like_ seeing me bedridden in pain?" I made a show of sitting up and wincing-it really did hurt like a bitch, but he didn't need to know.

"_Yes_." The brunette nearly rolled his eyes.

I mock-gasped. "Sadist!"

"Masochist."

"…damn, you've got me there." Poor Squall couldn't help but look a little horrified, so it was only natural I had to push it further. I leaned closer. "Bondage, chains, whips…oh, I can't wait to try all kinds of kinky things on you. You'll be screaming my name so loud that the whole Garden will-"

"I'm _never_ having sex with you again." He crossed his arms, not the least bit intimidated, and glared coldly.

_No! Not the sex!_ "Are you trying to make it snow in here? I was _kidding_." _There go all my kinky plans! _

"I seriously doubt that."

"…heal your poor lover?" _I'll just have to warm you up to the ideas slowly. _

He stood and pushed me into a laying position. "Stop calling me that. I'm not your lover."

_Huh…?_ "We made love, so-"

"And we're never doing it again-or didn't you hear me the first time?"

I frowned as the spell started up. "Yeah, but…you were joking…weren't you?"

"…"

"…Squall?"

"…"

_Something's…wrong._

"…um, Squall…"

"…"

"Hey!"

"…"

"Squall!"

"…" The curaga finished, and I felt brand new. He leaned in closely with an icy glare, but, before I could say more, his expression melted into a smirk as he placed the quickest of kisses on my lips. "Obviously. Mr. Life's-a-Game suddenly takes something I say seriously? What the hell's wrong with you?"

I laughed nervously, letting my relief show, and wondering _what the fuck **is** wrong with me? _It was as if the dream had affected me in more ways than one. Suddenly, I found myself wondering why something didn't feel quite right. Why _I_ didn't feel quite right. _Squall? Love **me**? Squall Leonhart? Make **jokes**? Maybe I really was pushed off a cliff…maybe **this** is the dream._ "Hey…is this a…dream? Cause if it is…well, I'd rather just sit here and wait it out. Ya know, get back to reality."

Seeing that I suddenly wasn't ready to leave, Squall closed the door again. Instead of telling me what I wanted to know, he replied with a question of his own. "Why?"

I shrugged. "There's no point in living in a dream. The longer it goes on, the worse I'll feel when I wake up and realize it's all made up."

Squall frowned. "Does this feel like a dream to you?"

"Well…no more or less real than the other dream. The really weird thing, though…see, these dreams are a little too long to be actual dreams. But, somehow, I keep waking up from them. Can you…wake up from one dream into another dream?"

He seemed to think about it. "I don't know."

And then it came to me. _Wait a minute…_ "Of course, there's one other thing that's messed up…"

"What's that?"

"Our personalities. Thanks, it was fun while it lasted, but I'd like to wake up now, Ultimica."

My beautiful Squall smiled, melting into the ugly creature I figured the sorceress to be. "Oh, aren't we getting sharp?"

"Or you're just getting senile-comes with your age, you know." I smirked, but it was a bitter victory. I had seen through her façade, but now…_does that mean that it was all fake…? The tears, Squall confessing his love?…_and just thinking it was _heartbreaking_. _And how long has she kept me out like this? Squall's probably picking apart what happened, analyzing it to death, and deciding I'm not worth it._

"Poor Squall…I'm sure he's come to his senses by now."

I growled. "Stop trying to fuck with my mind."

"But I know exactly why you'd rather stay in this dream realm I've created for you."

"I don't-"

"You _say_ otherwise, but I know…this is as close to reality as your love will ever get. Pitiful human. So dependant on foolish things like 'love'. Squall would never love _you_-such an arrogant, lying-"

"Shut up!"

Yellow eyes gleamed with amusement. "What's wrong? Don't like to hear what you are?"

"I'm not like that anymore!" I stared down at my hands, trying hard to convince myself that it was true. "I'm…I'm not…"

"_Seifer! Fuck…"_

_Squall…? Was that..you?_

And then I heard another voice-one that made my blood run cold. "Seifer…it's okay. You know I don't blame you. I was the one who didn't listen."

…_Rei? No…no. She died. She died because…I killed her._ "Stop it, Ultimica…"

"Isn't this what you want? Anyone can be here. Your mom, Squall…even me. If you wake up, we probably won't be able to come back again."

"Stop! Fuck…I know you're evil but just leave the dead the fuck alone…" _Because I don't want to remember. Mom, Rei…I've failed you both. I know. _

Then she was Squall again. "You finally get a chance to be forgiven and you pass it up? What's wrong with you?"

I tried to smirk. "It wouldn't be _them_ forgiving me."

"_Seifer! Wake up…"_

"Well, it's been fun, Ultimica, but someone's calling me. I'm more than ready to go back…don't worry, I'll come to kill you soon."

"I look forward to your visit, little boy."

I shivered at the hideous nickname. "Just because _you're_ an old hag…" But my thought didn't get to finish itself as I was jolted awake with icy cold water. "Holy shit!" I jumped into a sitting position and wiped off my face. _This_ was the real world. I could feel it with every fiber of my being, and I swore I'd never be tricked again.

I heard a familiar, relieved sigh. "What the hell happened to you?"

"You just doused me with some really fucking cold water, that's what!" It hadn't been a whole lot-just a glass full, but still!

Squall frowned, but couldn't quite mask his concern. "Moron, that's not what I'm talking about. I was healing you and you suddenly passed out. What the fuck happened?"

I blinked, and suddenly, it made sense why Squall had said nothing for so long. I had passed out, with Ultimica's help, and she had turned what really _was_ reality into a dream that tried to mimic it. _That's why Squall's personality was suddenly wrong…and that means…everything that happened before that was real? Even…? But then…_ "…where were we going to go after you healed me?"

"The dorms…" Squall looked a little less angry, but still seemed shaken up. "You didn't answer my question."

I tried to dry my hair off with the sheet. "Ultimica was fucking with me while I slept-and I _don't_ mean that literally."

Squall merely frowned at my crude humor, until it hit him, and his pretty eyes nearly popped out of his head. Which would have been a shame. "_Ultimica_?"

"I must be her favorite toy-what can I say? And where are my clothes? I'm not walking out of here in this _gown_ thing."

After some digging around, Squall magically produced my clothes out of no where-or maybe I just hadn't been paying attention. "So you're saying…that Ultimica took over your _dreams_?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I ripped off the hospital-ish gown, perhaps too eagerly from the look he gave me, and began dressing in my _real_ attire. The stuff that made me look sexy even when I wasn't naked. Gowns are _not_ sexy-at least, not the medical variety. I had a very clear picture in my head of Squall in a teeny red dress, but knew that, sadly, I wouldn't be seeing it for real any time soon. "I mean, she was you, then Rei, then offered to be my mom, then you again…I got to see her real face, and man, that has got to be _the_ ugliest living thing ever. Adel is a _beauty _compared."

"…Rei?"

_Oh shit, that's right…he never knew._ "You're not the only one with a story of a relationship gone wrong."

"Tell me."

"Then we're even?"

The brunette shrugged and opened the door.

Following him out, we began our quiet trek to the dorms. "In my first Garden, I didn't even make it to the SeeD exams…second one, better, I made it there-hell, I was even the captain of my squad. There was this girl at that Garden…Rei Starin. Blonde, big aqua eyes, good chest size, shapely ass and as nice as they come."

Squall snickered at my physical comments.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help you get the picture. I've seen Rinoa…but you won't ever get to see Rei."

He _almost_ seemed offended. "Why?"

"…because she's dead."

"…sorry…"

I waved it off. "Don't worry about it. Anyway…I was the clueless new guy and she had this crush on me, see? She thought it was 'adorable' when I was an asshole-and I swear to Hyne, I've never met another person who thought so. I really liked her, but…I had a nasty reputation, nasty family…I didn't want to drag her into it."

"You _actually_ cared about someone other than yourself? Why do I find this so hard to believe?"

"Shut up. I was perfectly nice when I was a kid! Even my mom's death didn't fuck me up…but Rei's did. The day of the SeeD field exam, I was made a captain and she was on my team. I told her…that if I passed the exam and became a SeeD, that I'd date her. Then at least I'd be on my way to _being_ someone, right? If I could do that, I figured…that I could get around everything else, one way or another. But something…went very wrong during the exam. There was a lot of loud gunfire, and we couldn't hear each other all that well…she asked something, I couldn't hear it and so I used body language-I shrugged. She took it to mean I didn't care whether she did it or not…I didn't know she was asking me about some kind of battle plan. She ran off and couldn't hear me call her back…and then she was shot. I dodged bullets to pull her safely back to where my team was hiding…we abandoned our mission to get her to the infirmary, but it was no use…she died an hour later. Everyone else was panicking, like they didn't know they could actually get hurt on this exam…and me…I didn't know my magic. If I had…god dammit…"

Squall had been listening silently the whole time, and now gently touched my arm with an ungloved hand. "It's not your fault…"

"You'd be about the only one who thinks so." I unlocked my dorm and we stepped inside. Instead of turning on the light and blinding myself, I let our eyes adjust to the darkness. "I blew the mission and let a teammate get killed…the ultimate fuck up. That was the end of that Garden…and after that, I just didn't care…until now." I hung up our coats and stripped off my shirt, only to throw it into the corner.

"…" Squall didn't budge.

I sighed. "C'mon…don't be a wuss. All this shit happens that's like one giant fucking nightmare, and you can't even stick around for the night? Some boyfriend you are."

I so wished I could see his expression from this far away in the dark. "W-What…?"

"Boy-friend. Lov-er. Call it what you like, princess."

"Don't call me that."

I tugged off my jeans. "Depends on which name you're referring to."

There was silence for a time. "Look, Seifer…I don't know…"

Coming closer, I backed him up against the nearest wall before crushing our lips together in a needy kiss. His mouth opened eagerly and our tongues danced briefly before I pulled away. "I don't think love is some big game anymore, and neither do you. In fact, ever since Rinoa, I think you take it _very_ seriously."

"I…"

I helped him pull his shirt off. "That's why…I need to hear it again."

He looked away. "Hear…what?"

I frowned, unbuttoning his pants. "You know exactly what. When I passed out on you, I didn't even know that I'd passed out. Ultimica made it like nothing had happened-she was you and continued to interact with me. Probably the only reason I woke up at all is because I saw through it." I 'helped' him out of his pants. He was staying the night no matter what, But I…needed… "But even still, I feel like…what if none of it was real? What if the whole thing was just another giant mind fuck?"

"Seifer…"

"Say it again…Squall. I…I really…need to hear it." I bowed my head, feeling terrible for being so needy-for asking so much when, maybe, he wasn't ready to give it. _I told myself I wouldn't force you into anything…but with everything that been happening lately, I…I've never felt so weak._ "…please…"

And then came the words so softly whispered that I almost missed them. "I…love you…Seifer…"

A smile involuntarily spread across my face and I nuzzled his neck affectionately, giving butterfly kisses and light bites.

"S-Seifer…"

"Mm…I want you…"

"You need to rest…you're not completely healed yet. You shouldn't strain yourself…"

I sighed. "Damn." I dragged him over to the bed. "Then how long do I have to wait before I get a piece of you-"

"How about after we defeat Ultimica." It _sounded _like a question, but I knew it wasn't open for discussion.

"But…but…damn, that's a long ass time!" I flopped onto my back in disbelief.

"I know. But…" He laid down next to me and pulled the blanket up, seemingly having no intention of touching me at all. "…Ultimica isn't something that can wait. If we don't get rid of her, who knows what'll happen? You're…" He turned on his side to face away from me. "…you're the strongest person I know. And if she could take over _you_, then she can take over anyone."

"Anyone but you." I wrapped my arms around him since it was clear _he_ wouldn't dare be the one to initiate cuddling. "She's a master of illusions…we won't be able to believe anything we see in there."

"I know…"

"…wait a minute. So you're saying sex will have to wait till I'm better, but it's okay to throw myself at a _sorceress_?"

"…"

"At this rate, we'll die out there, lost in the future! I think we should do _it_ right _now_-"

"You're too stupid for words."

"…"

"…"

"…I don't get it."

* * *

Explanation: When Seifer couldn't remember anything and got pushed off a cliff by Squall, that was a dream. When he woke up after that and they talked about leaving the infirmary, that was real. In the middle of being healed by Squall, Seifer passed out into his dream with Ultimica, and woke into the real world when Squall got him with the water. When I think about it, it doesn't seem to confusing to _me_ but I just thought I'd be sure.

Still don't get it? Let me know in the review. Totally understood it the whole time? Review anyway. XP


	31. Chapter 31

I Promise

Yes, this has taken me forever and a century. Yes, I am sorry. No, I don't have a lame excuse thise time. Haha. In fact, I have a really good excuse! At least...I think it is. Note: it's an excuse, not a reason. I accept that. Anyway, my birthday came and went...I'm 18 now, and I got a job ON my birthday. So I've been busy as hell ever since november 7th. For the record, I'm doing it so my family can pay the bills, not just to buy myself shit. So, if you have money to spare, my pockets are always open! haha...kidding. ...I guess. ((sweatdrops)) No, I haven't gotten to the reviews yet. Yes, I feel like an ass for it. Yes, I am FINALLY submitting what I have of other stories today including some Naruto, some kingdom hearts, um...gravitation and fushigi yuugi. I think. Yeah. Maybe. XD I'll try and do reviews tomorrow...in the meantime, I thought this was well overdue and that you guys have waited more than long enough.

**SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!!** As a special Thanksgiving gift to you guys, and as an extra apology for taking so long, there is a **LEMON** at the end of the chapter. As per usual, because I STILL haven't fixed my AFF account, you have to **give me your email address in your review.** FFN does not like us trading emails in any way, shape, or form, so you MUST do it like this: **shinigami - akumu (at) hotmail (dot) com.** Okay? try to make it show up the first time, pa-weeze? For ME? By the way, as also per usual, **by giving me your email address, you agree that you are old enough to read sexual materials and that you are okay with yaoi(male/male relationships).** I figure it's obvious, since you guys are reading this and have been since the beginning, but I just figured I should add that in. **Don't just review without adding your email address and assume that I'll automatically go to your profile and look it up so I can send it to you, cause I won't. **I'm not trying to be mean, but I don't have a whole shitload of time. Tomorrow's black friday, and that means long hours of hell with the after thanksgiving sales. Fun times!

I'll start sending out the lemon within a day or two. Depends how tired I am. But hey, I'm off on sunday! yay!

_This is dedicated to all my loyal readers and reviewers, since I haven't gotten to the reviews yet, but hope to do so tomorrow. You guys all ROCK! Happy Thanksgiving!!!_

* * *

**Chapter 31**

_BANG!_

"Ho-shit!" I jumped up, hastily looking around for the source of the sound.

Then there came a voice from outside the door. "I _heard_ that, Seifer. Now open this door."

_Quistis!_ Squall must have really worn himself out from watching me those couple days, because he hadn't awoken at all. I nudged him. "Dearest lover, you'll have to get up now."

No answer.

"_Princess_, we have a problem…" I tried in a sing-song voice.

No answer.

Finally, I shook him none too gently, trying to stick to whispering so she wouldn't hear me. "Squall! Will you get the fuck up?"

"Nnh…?" Sleepy storm eyes cracked open to stare up at me.

Then the one outside the door again. "Seifer Almasy! Are you going to answer this door, or would you prefer to have lunch detentions with me for a while?"

"I didn't know you wanted to see me naked, Instructor! I'll just peel these pants right back off-"

"No! By all means, get dressed first."

"Oh, goody." I looked down at Squall's frowning face and went back to whispering. "Morning, _sunshine_." I went to place a kiss on lonely, soft lips, but he moved away and sat up as if he had a headache already just from seeing my face. "Hide in the bathroom and take a shower. I've got it all under control."

"You _always_ say you have it covered, and you _always_ screw it up."

I couldn't help but grin. "Well, I _really_ got it this time. So go relax."

He stood and made his way into the bathroom, tossing back an "I'm locking the door."

"Killjoy." As soon as he was safely in there, I pulled on my discarded pants and opened the main door.

Quistis blinked and looked me over. "It took you _that_ long just to-"

"It's called a 'morning routine'. Don't _you_ have to pee when you wake up?"

"…" She chose not to answer that. "Why did you leave the infirmary?"

"Because being in a gown _that_ ugly is humiliating."

"I'll note to the headmaster that we need prettier ones." She snickered. "It's no mystery that Squall healed you up, but you'll have to go in for a check-up during lunch…" She eyed the bandages on my torso. "In any case, where's your accomplice? He isn't answering at his dorm."

"In my shower." I leaned against the doorframe casually.

The other blonde looked shocked, to say the least. "I'm not sure I _want_ to know…but why?"

I had to laugh at her. "And some say _I'm_ perverted?"

"I never said-"

"He came over here wanting to use my shower because his is broken, so you better get that fixed. I'm not a morning person, and his morning-ness is cramping my style."

She rolled her eyes, then a thought came to her, and she narrowed them. "How did you manage to go to the bathroom, then?"

"What is this, 20 questions? The door wasn't locked. We're both guys-he doesn't have anything I haven't seen before, and I don't think the princess is into comparing sizes-we all know _I'm _the bazooka in this Garden's arsenal, so-"

"Alright! I get it. After the second half of class today, there's a meeting about Ultimica that you have to attend-more like an official briefing. A couple days rest while making up the assignments you both missed, and then you'll be on your way. As usual, you won't have to make up anything you miss while you're gone…"

"Hey…" I shifted uncomfortably as it came to mind. "How's…Zell?"

She frowned and crossed her arms, probably unsure of my seriousness in the matter, since I'd never referred to him as anything but a chicken. "In critical condition."

_What?_ "How? Ultimica said it was a spell that stops the heart-"

"_Slowly_."

"…what?"

"It stops the heart _slowly_. Something very similar happened to him before, if you recall. But it came about in a different way. Luckily, we found him just in time-"

I whistled. "_Woo_, it is just _not_ his week, is it?" I looked up and scratched my chin absentmindedly. "…or was it two weeks? I mean, we've been kicking sorceress ass left and right, so to hell if _I_ know what day of the week it is or what's for lunch-"

"I suppose it's just as well that Squall is your best friend, then. At least _he's_ always organized."

"_Ha!_ Everywhere but in his head. I mean, c'mon, someone who has _that_ many inner monologues can't be-"

"In _any_ case! The headmaster said he had someone who could counter it-Zell's condition, that is."

_Is that so?_ "Who?"

Quistis shrugged. "I never got to meet her."

"It was a _her_?"

She nodded. "Okay, that's all. Don't be late for class. I've been counting up both of your unserved lunch detentions, and the number is quite high. But I figured I'd give you a break, for now, since you have an important mission coming up."

"How about, just for doing the important mission in the first place, we forget about that little detail?"

She pushed her glasses up. "You get paid handsomely by the Garden for these kinds of missions, and that has nothing to do with me."

"Okay…how about I _pay_ you, and we forget about it?"

"Accepting a bribe could cost me my job."

I smirked. "No one has to know."

She smiled in that way that seemed oh-so-kind, but was really _not_. "Why _bother_, Seifer? You two are just going to keep earning them, the way you're going. _Don't _be late for class." And with that she waltzed off in her high heel boots, making clicking noises until she was fully out of sight.

When she was safely out of ear shot, I growled. "Bitch…"

I heard the shower turn off without really hearing it. Normally, I would have smashed into my door like a football player to get a chance at Squall naked, but something Quistis had said didn't add up. The wheels in my head were turning now, but who could have known that by the time I figured it all out, it would be too late?

* * *

"Then I said, 'Seifer wouldn't just do somethin' like that, ya know.', ya know?"

Lunch time. Fujin and Raijin were hanging out-annoying the hell out of Squall-and trying to get all the details they could about what happened. I _did_ notice that they were the only ones who seemed the least bit interested in what the experience was like for me-but I still didn't want to tell them that I'd talked with her the whole time. Not yet. I had this feeling that there was some secret message in it all that I had to figure out on my own. Maybe something only I could catch? While trying to get back in the swing of things, I hadn't given it much thought at all.

By now everyone knew there was some kind of threat…and I kept getting strange looks because of it-as if everyone was watching for when I'd flip out next. I'll admit, it made me kind of nervous. I felt like one of those celebrities-but in a bad way. Like I couldn't even attempt to grope Squall under the table without someone catching it out of the corner of their eye. How depressing.

"So, wait, you're telling me that all these idiots thought I did that of my own free will?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"Well, shit." I took a bite of the burger Rai and Fu had generously brought back for me from their trip into town. Squall just kind of glared at his like it came from a cow with a disease, which probably meant he was thinking really hard about something-which usually isn't good. "Fo whaf haf oo fin ooin' 'out if?"

"We were told not to tell anybody the truth, ya know."

"PANIC."

"That's idiotic." Squall finally spoke up, though I doubted that it was the topic really on his mind. "If something happened, then there really _would_ be panic. It would be better to call a student body meeting and make them aware of the possibility of attack. That way, if something _actually_ happens, everyone would know what to do, therefore avoiding accidents caused by mass-panicking."

I quirked a brow. "Well, why don't you just take over as headmaster, Mr. Leonhart?"

"Go to hell." He just glared, though I half expected him to hit me.

"But I think he's right, ya know?"

"AGREED."

"Yeah, yeah. We'll bring it up at the meeting. In the meantime…" I grinned devilishly. "I think I'm gonna have to feed princess his lunch, since he won't eat it by himself."

"I'm not hungry."

I reached for his burger and he grabbed my hand.

"_Don't_, Seifer."

Something about his tone made me wonder _Why not?_ _Is there something wrong that I don't know about?_ But it was best to play it cool in front of Rai and Fu, instead of openly, _publicly_, showing concern and affection, as Squall would rather kill himself first. "Okay, okay. You can release the death grip you've got on my hand, there."

Satisfied that I wasn't going to try anything, he let go.

Raijin stood, followed by Fujin. "We gotta go make our rounds now, ya know."

"ACCOMPANY."

"Yeah, you should come with us, ya know?"

I shook my head. "Sorry…I've got a checkup at the infirmary, since I snuck away last night."

"Maybe after dinner, then, ya know?"

"Sure…after dinner."

Squall spoke up for the second time that day. "You can't. We have the official briefing about Ultimica after dinner."

I sighed dramatically, just about ready to let my head drop to the table for a good smack. "All of a sudden my schedule is so _full_! Kiss my social life goodbye, everyone! No, wait, wait. Let it bend over first."

"ISSUES."

"You should have tried out for Selphie's play, ya know?"

I blinked. "…she's holding a _play_?"

"AFFIRMATIVE."

"What play is it?" I didn't mean to sound genuinely interested. Really, I didn't!

They looked at each other, then shrugged, while Squall rolled his pretty eyes. "It's too late anyways, ya know."

"Damn. With my luck, it was one of those sappy fairytales!"

Squall quirked a brow. "And so missing that is bad, because…?"

I did notice that Squall got a little more involved when we had conversations now. He would ask questions, even when he _knew_, without a doubt, that the answer would be something he didn't want to hear. It made me feel rather giddy-but NOT like a schoolgirl. On the other hand, his coldness only moments ago left me feeling strangely hurt. Seifer Almasy? Hurt over something so stupid and simple? I don't believe it! Yeah, well, believe it. Under all this rock hard muscle and tanned sexiness is a human being, not a God. Now if _that's_ not a shock, I don't know what is. _What could be wrong?_

"Because I wanted to play the handsome prince! And you, _you _can be the beautiful damsel in distress!"

Then came the hit. I knew it was coming, and yet my block was flimsy. The two across from us flinched before his fist even contacted my face.

"Oww…" I whined. "Is it so wrong to want to see you in a dress?"

"Yes."

I sighed. "But why?"

Squall sent a glare my way that said: Isn't it _obvious?_ "Because I'm not a damn girl!"

Raijin and Fujin inched away. "We gotta go now, ya know…" And then they took off, those lucky bastards!

He steeled himself and stood. "You have to go to the infirmary." I followed him out of the cafeteria without a word, just waiting for the real problem to jump out and bite me in the ass. After some time, he spoke his mind. "That's why you haven't just dropped me yet, isn't it? Because I look like a girl to you?"

"…huh? Squall, it was just a-"

"Joke." He finished for me. "It's always just a joke. Probably to cover up that you're really thinking it."

I flinched slightly, as it was sometimes true.

"I know you've been with a lot of other people. Most of them probably a lot easier than me." I wondered which he meant by 'easy', but kept my mouth shut. "I'm a big conquest. A guy who looks all soft and feminine, but isn't. A new fruit that you haven't gotten to taste enough of yet."

I crossed my arms in a huff. "Haven't we been though all of this already? I _told _you, it's not like that anymore."

"I still don't trust you."

Who knew that such simple words…could cause so much pain? "That's why…that's why you let me take you, then. You were hoping I'd fuck you and be done, is that it? You _still_ think this is some kind of big fucking joke to me! How many times do I have to tell you it's not? How else can I _prove_ to you that it's not?"

He stared at the floor as we walked along slowly. "I _was_…hoping you'd fuck me and be done. Hoping that…you were lying to yourself and you'd get bored."

I stared, painfully shocked, because…what I had thought he wanted all along, turned out to be what he dreaded the most. "Wha…?"

"I didn't _want_ to feel anything from you! But…I did, and now I don't know what to do."

"…how about you say sorry and we pretend this conversation never happened?"

"…I can't." He looked up, but not at me. "It's all…pointless. Maybe you were meant for better things, but you know about my life. I was never meant…to…"

I frowned. "What are you _talking_ about? Quit worrying about it and just let it go! You deserve happiness a hell of a lot more than I do. It sounds sappier than a fairytale, but…_I_ want to be the one to make you happy. How can I do that if you won't let me try?"

"You don't understand…it'll never work. You know as well as I do, Seifer…you can't keep secrets for long. I don't even want to know what will happen when Garden finds out. In the end…"

I grabbed him by his shoulders. "We can make this work!" Tears were welled up in his eyes, when I expected none, and my disbelief of it all made me let him go, looking elsewhere. "We can…"

"…it'll just fuck us over in the end. It's only a question of when." He turned and began walking.

"The…the infirmary…" I tried, weakly.

"…go by yourself." And within minutes, he was out of sight.

After many long minutes of staring after him, though he was long gone, and a sigh, I entered the Lysol smelling room. The doctor spotted me instantly. "Seifer Almasy! You better never try a stunt like this again, or so help me, I'll post armed guards outside your room! And if it hadn't been Squall who healed you, I would be giving you a lot more trouble. He took direct lessons from me, you know." She beckoned me to a back room and made me lay down on the cold table.

I shivered briefly. "Could I…take some?"

"Some what, dear? Lessons?" I nodded to confirm it. "Well, sure. Squall was a natural, so it may take you some time…"

"Four days…"

"Hm?"

I sighed. "I have four days before our next mission."

"Alright. I'll see what I can do, but I won't promise anything." She listened to my heart, checked my blood pressure(which appeared to be questionable), and deemed the bandages unnecessary. "But you still have to be very careful. I want to see you again before you leave to make sure you're ready for the physical strain…"

"Yeah…" I wasn't really listening, as only one person was on my mind.

"…but it sounds like your bigger problems aren't physical." She had a seat. "What's been going on?"

"Nothing…"

She smiled. "You can't fool me, Seifer. Not only is that the oldest lame excuse, but I also have a degree in psychology."

I saw no way out of it. I didn't want to end up in therapy sessions, too. "How do you get someone…to believe in you? When you tell them everything's going to be okay…how do you get them to trust you on it?"

"Mm…that, like all things, takes time. You have to show them, with your actions and not just words, that you care about them very much. The more they see it, the more they'll come to trust you."

I nearly sighed again. "How long does _that _take?"

"It depends. Someone like, oh, _Squall_, for instance…"

I was very tempted to ask why she chose Squall for an example, but decided against it.

"…that could take a long time. But, I've come to learn…that trusting isn't as hard as people think it is. You can be a very cautious person, like Squall, and still find yourself trusting others without wanting or meaning to. I'm sure he berates himself for it all the time. But you know…you have Squall's trust, Seifer. In fact, I think that trust runs very deep. He trusts you with his life, I'm sure of it. And that's the strongest trust there is. Perhaps saying he doesn't trust anyone is just his way of feeling like he hasn't completely let his guard down. For someone so careful, coming to the realization of things like that can be quite difficult. Of course, I'm not saying I _know._ No one knows him better than you do, Seifer. And if anyone can help him, it's you."

I blinked and sat up. "_Help_ him?"

"Oh, come now, it's no big secret that Quistis and I have been worried about him for ages."

I stared towards the floor, swinging my feet slowly. "I don't know…he doesn't want any help. He's fine and dandy as he is, and doesn't plan on changing anytime soon…"

"We've seen the differences. They're small, so maybe you don't notice since you're always around him, but he's changing without even knowing it. You're what's best for him now, be it as a friend or…whatever you two have going on that we don't want to know about."

I grinned, feeling better. "C'mon, you're a doctor _and_ a shrink, and you don't want to know all about wild, hot, gay sex?"

"…_no._"

* * *

I had sobered up again by the time I made it to class. But that doesn't mean I could stop myself from grinning like an idiot when Quistis was about to yell at me and I showed her my pass. Oh, the look on her face…she was probably disappointed that she wouldn't be able to add more lunch detentions to the list. I could have sworn that she enjoyed them. Maybe she was lonely grading papers at lunch like a freak instead of mingling with the other staff. But to think of it that way meant me feeling guilty, and I didn't like that. I'd be sharing lunch with her for the rest of forever anyway.

"…_Seifer_…"

I sighed. "What _now_?"

"It took you nearly 20 minutes just to get here?"

"…I'm a slow walker."

She narrowed her eyes. "Fine…I trust they weren't forged. Have a seat."

"Oh, Instructor, you hurt my feelings!"

"_What_ feelings?" The class added in their little gasps at this point. One wise guy even said aloud 'Oh, _burn_!', at which point Quistis smiled triumphantly. "In any case, we were just discussing the physical versus the emotional strains on a person in a state of absolute fear-in a war, should we ever be unfortunate enough to be thrown into one, or missions. I'm sure you and Squall could share some good stories."

I had taken two steps towards my seat and _froze_. It clicked. Suddenly, it all made complete sense to me-at least, in my head.

"…Seifer? What's the matter?"

"I…I need to go…" I stared at Squall, and he stared right back. There was no silent communication like in all those romance novels, because I'm sure he had no idea what _I_ was thinking.

"What?"

"Sorry, Instructor!" I ran down the aisle and grabbed Squall's arm, dragging him to his feet and nearly running out the door. "Sorry, we'll be right back!"

Luckily, she was too shocked to come after us.

I half lead, half dragged the brunette all the way to my dorm and shoved him inside before shutting the door. I think he was too shocked to protest, too…at first.

"I figured it all out." I announced to him.

I received a nice glare in return, as if he had just realized what I'd done. Not only had I earned him more lunch detentions, but I'd implicated our relationship to the whole classroom. "There's nothing _to_ figure out, Seifer."

"Oh, yes, there _is._" I crossed my arms and leaned my back against the door, indicating that there was no escape. "The answer…is fear."

"_Fear_?" He asked incredulously before getting into his Impatient Squall pose and waiting for me to hurry the hell up so he could get back to class.

"Right. Fear is the answer to _everything_." I uncrossed my arms, instead using my hands to emphasize my points. "You're _afraid_ of people finding out about us. You're _afraid _of what they'll do, what they'll think, and what it'll mean for you. That's why you're pushing me away like this! And then, you're _afraid_ of caring too much for anyone, cause you've always been alone, and you like it that way. Caring about someone means you have the potential to lose something important to you. And you're _afraid_ of that…aren't you?"

He must have had a will of steel at that moment to continue staring right into my eyes without so much as a blink, because I _knew_ this was one of my smarter moments, where I actually made sense. "You're being ridiculous."

"Nooo, what's ridiculous is that _Squall Leonhart_, the _bravest_, absolute _best_ gunblader and fighter that I have ever known, aside from _myself_, of course, is _terrified_ of something so stupid. You can go head on with a sorceress without even shaking, but you're scared of what people think? What the fuck's wrong with you, anyway?"

He was definitely angry then, and I figured perhaps I hadn't chosen those last words so carefully. "Fuck you! You're just like every other dumbass around here, so it's not like I expect _you_ to understand!"

"Yeah, but I must be a Grade A Dumbass to have figured _you_ out. Better buy a bigger rubix cube for your personality, cause this puzzle came together a little too quickly."

"_Rubix cube? _…you prove blonde jokes true." His shoulders had slumped slightly and he seemed to have run out of steam already. Not so much that he'd agree with me, but he almost seemed…tired. Tired of arguing? Tired of me?

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"I don't have time for this." He made his way forward and tried to push me aside.

"Uh-uh. Not so fast, princess." I grabbed him by his shoulders. "What are you missing? A class you don't even want to be in? Sure, Quistis wanted us to give loads of insight and all kinds of bullshit, but what would we have had to tell her? What were the only times _you_ were afraid?"

He opened his mouth to answer, probably with something like 'I was never afraid.', but closed it just as quickly. It was a question I knew would catch him off guard, because it, like the answer of fear, had clicked the second the Instructor mentioned it. The only times we were afraid…is when we thought the other was hurt or dead. I had heard the tremble in his voice when Adel had thrown my 'dead' body to him. He had raced up the stairs at lightning speed to 'save' me from Rinoa. Squall knew it, and had fallen into silence.

"If I remember it right, not long ago, you said something to me that I won't _allow_ you to take back. I know you meant it. I'm not letting go just because you're afraid. Love and all that stuff…it's as important to life as _breath_. Without it…what's the point?"

"…did you practice this speech in front of a mirror? You're being sappier than a _woman_."

"I _know_ that! God damn! Do you understand my _point_?"

He looked down. "Seifer…"

"You said…" I reached out and tilted his chin up with my hand. "…that you felt something from me, that time. Now, I need to know that you feel something _for_ me, too. Words are just words…so if you really _didn't_ mean them, you can leave now." I let go of him. "But if you did…then show me."

We both stood there for a long time, silently. I remember wondering, at one point, if anything was ever going to happen at all. It was almost like time standing still, but only for the two of us. I wondered if someone was going to come looking for us. I wondered if we'd make it back to class, or even to the meeting…but all thought quickly ceased when he suddenly grabbed me in a rough embrace and pulled my head down to kiss me just as 'gently'...

* * *

Until next time, everybody! 


	32. Chapter 32

OMFG is it TRUE?! Is Aku-chan actually BACK? You bet your ass I am. Ugh, life is rough. But I suppose you guys are tired of hearing about that, so I'll spare you all the details of my deteriating health and hope. Yay, chapter 32! We've gone a long way, no? This is only about five pages instead of closer to eight like I had wanted-sorry. It almost feels more like filler, but that's probably because the REAL action starts next chapter. I think Seifer's kinda like me...or am i kind of like Seifer? I existed before Seifer did, but I definately kinda picked up his attitude somewhere...

It's 5:40 AM and I need sleep...but I wanna update my other stories...man. This bites. I'll have to try and update them tomorrow. I've gotten good, positive reviews on Hold Me Gently, Always Catch Me(for those who like Gravitation-and OMG Gravi EX came out! SO HAPPY!) and Simple and Clean(for Kingdom Hearts fans)...so I'd like to update them as well. Sadly, it's time to stop fooling myself. I can't make any promises about when I update next. Life after 18...is different. My seasonal job is over, but I have some things to take care of before I can start college this fall and I really need to get on it. A community college for the first two school years for the basic crap(it's cheaper and makes it so that I don't have to live in a university's dorms.) Don't worry, the university is close to home. I'd be taking a 15 minute train ride. And hey, a formal Japanese class taught by an actual Japanese person? That's my dream come true. So, yes...life after 18? Different. Angry Angel, my favorite author in the universe, probably knows exactly how I feel, only more so since she's married and such. But she updates about as often as I do...so I'd say she's doing better than me, but you get my point. XP (Which, if you haven't read Whispered Screams and Let Me Make It Alright, and everything else of hers, then you're definately missing something.)

I love you all to death, but I'll have to skip on review replies this time, unless there was any questions I needed to answer, which i'll look at those now. And so this chapter is dedicated to: Sashikinoneko, vincents-loverffall(which, you two have reviews from back at chapter 30...I never got to them, or...? confused), whitecat(I love you. XD But you know I can't live without cliffhangers), UltimateSorceress(Seifer does seem rather smart lately...either he's maturing, or I'm losing my touch. What do you think? XD), Samurai Bishie Queen(XD), Silverhair Theory(thank god for you-I always get worried at love-confession scenes, cause I hate how a lot of them sound...'the truth is, darling, I've loved you all along!' 'Really? I've loved you, too!' I just can't stand it...so it's good to know that they don't suck), I'm That Cool(that is, indeed, how real relationships are. XD), Faina(Seifer's an idiot, but they both have their moments if you ask me lol), and sis(omg I can't even remember your freakin' pen name...)

Alright, I'm shutting up now. ON WITH IT!

**

* * *

Chapter 32 **

_BANG BANG BANG!_

"Are you in there, Seifer Almasy? You better open up!"

_Oh my Hyne, it's déjà vu! _I groaned before yawning. I don't know about everybody else, but it annoys the hell out of me to be woken up in any unpleasant fashion. _That's the **last** voice I'd want on an alarm clock._ It took me another few moments just to sit up. Squall started to do the same, but I casually pushed him back down before standing, avoiding his questioning gaze. "You're…" I switched to whispering, ignoring the constant banging on my door. "You're the one who's so worried about how this'll look, right? I have some good lies going, so don't fuck it up by showing yourself now, alright?" I grabbed out a new pair of boxers and snapped an "I'm _coming!_ God damn!" before slipping them on. I pulled the door open violently, more than happy to let my annoyance show. "Can I help you, _miss_?"

Quistis quirked a brow before looking angry. "Don't give _me_ that after you waltzed out of my classroom! That'll be ten more lunch detentions-each! And if you don't start carrying them out, I'm going to have to take other measures that I can assure you to be unpleasant."

I stared at her incredulously . "You came all the way here, and woke me up, just to tell me _that_? Holy Hyne…"

"That's _not_ what I came here for, delinquent! The official briefing for Ultamica begins in five minutes! And Squall isn't answering at his dorm…"

"We-"

"I suppose he's using your shower again, randomly, right?"

"…" I narrowed my eyes and gave her a glare that would have intimidated pretty much anyone but her. "I'll have you know that, first of all, the shower thing _wasn't_ made up. I had to go in there and fix it, _myself_ because _you_ ignored it. How very unprofessional." I could almost see Squall rolling his eyes somewhere behind me. "And second, he's _not_ here. We had a 'friendly' argument and he ran off-probably crying in the bathroom or something. And so I went to sleep."

She leaned forward and curled her finger, beckoning me closer. I leaned down and she looked me in the eyes, talking very calmly. "I'll have _you_ know that, first of all, you better stop flattering yourself into thinking that I believe your bullshit, because I _don't_. And second…" She grabbed my ear and pulled down hard, almost like a mother would to their small child.

"Ow!"

"_You and Squall better both be at the damn meeting or I'm **really** going to punish you!_" And with that she let go and stalked off.

I rubbed my poor, aching ear. "Abuse! Harassment! I'll have you fired!" But she just waved it off before turning the corner out of sight. I glared out at nothing. "Geez, what the fuck…" And as I turned around, I received a hard kick to my shin that nearly sent me to my knees. "OW! What the _fuck_ is everybody's problem? Hyne…" _Let's all just beat up on Seifer today!_

"_**Crying** in the bathroom or something_? Is your brain _defective,_ or what?"

I continued rubbing my new sore spot that would probably bruise. "There's nothing wrong with my lies."

Squall glared. "Except that they can't be taken seriously-just like _you_. Everything's a fucking joke! And they all know something's wrong for sure now. This is getting way out of hand. Why…" He pushed me aside and opened the door. "…why can't I just make myself end it between us, when we both know…it would be better that way?" And then he left, closing the door behind him quietly. It was then that I noticed he had been fully dressed-which is why the kick had hurt so much.

I gathered my clothes as I also tried to gather my thoughts. _Maybe **you** think it's best. At least that means he still…cares, right? He wants it over to protect himself, but his heart won't let him…that's what he meant, right? And people like Squall are used to following their heads, so when their hearts interfere, what do they do?_ I had no answer for that one, but by then I was dressed and left my dorm, heading for the meeting, while trying to get my thoughts in the right place. Once Ultamica was stopped, we could take all the time we needed to figure everything out. We'd be heroes, whoop-de-fucking-do, and-_wait. **Heroes.** This will make us heroes. Would that makes things easier…or harder?_ Trying to figure it all out annoyed me.

It annoyed me further to find, upon entering the meeting room, that Squall was seated on an end, that Ellone girl to his side…leaving absolutely no room for me. After making that assessment with my first glance, I casually sat across from Squall without a word, pretending to be waiting for the meeting to begin. Their quiet talking had ceased when I entered the room, making me even more suspicious.

It took a few more minutes for the headmaster to show up, along with _dear _Quistis, so the meeting could finally begin. Three very _long_ minutes in which I had to pretend to be very preoccupied with my sleeve-let me tell you, it's not easy. I'm almost positive he looked at me a few times, but no more than that. I could just feel it when he stared at me…I always could.

"Alright." The headmaster had a seat and Quistis sat across from him. "As you all know, we've pretty much run out of time. The goal is to start this mission…"

I expected him to say about three days. After all, Dr. Kadowaki had told him I needed a few days to get back in the swing of things-not to mention I was going to work very hard on recovery magic with her. Judging by how well we'd fucked ourselves up on the other missions-or Squall, to be precise…I seemed to be lucky or something-I'd _need_ it. There was no way I'd go without it. Three days would be good.

"…Sunday morning."

_What the **fuck?**_ "Woah, woah, woah. Hold up a minute. _Sunday_? That's the day after tomorrow, and it's already _evening_!" _Is your artificial hair piece making your brain itch?_

"I'm well aware of what day it is, Seifer. And while Dr. Kadowaki recommended we wait a few extra days, I think you'd agree that we don't have that much time. Instructor Trepe tells me you seem to be feeling quite well, and so, I think things should go smoothly."

I glared at the bitch and she just smiled triumphantly. _Too bad you don't know what the fuck you've done._ And while I wanted to say 'Hey, wait just a fucking minute, buddy! I need to learn this magic, or one of us could _die_.' I just…couldn't make it come out. He'd probably just say 'You made it without magic before, I'm sure you could do it again.' or something equally ignorant. For all that he knew, he really was clueless about how close we were to death those times-especially Squall. And I wasn't about to let that happen again. Not because of me.

"Now, this is all very detailed, but the basic gist of it is that Ellone will-"

"Hold on."

Cid looked at me wearily. "What now, Seifer?"

"Where did this _Ellone_ even come from?"

Cid fiddled with his papers unconsciously. "I've had SeeDs trailing her for some time, through rumors of her power."

"Okaaay…we've only known about Ultamica for a little while, so…?"

"Her power is unique. I wanted to ask her to be a SeeD."

"Right. So how do you know we can trust her?" I didn't like this. Something seemed really off.

Squall seemed offended and hissed quietly, "Seifer." But I easily ignored it.

Cid opened his mouth to defend her, but she beat him to it. "I've known Squall for a long time. If you can trust him, Seifer, then you can trust me." She stared straight into my eyes the whole time, but I wasn't sure how I felt about it. For a second she looked…familiar, but I brushed the feeling off.

I shrugged. "Whatever you say. I'll trust you if you can get us there and back in one piece."

She smiled, no matter how annoyed I had sounded. "Fair enough. I'll do my very best to make sure this mission succeeds."

_Why, so you can get Squall in bed?_ I couldn't help but feel jealous. Squall said their relationship wasn't like that, so it wasn't like that. At least…I wanted to believe it.

"Now…" Cid continued, at length. "Ellone will transport you through time, to the future, where Ultamica is believed to rule over this world. We're not sure exactly where you will end up, but from there, if I understand correctly, there will be small time portals. You will use these to get from place to place, until you find her castle."

"Which is where?"

Cid sighed, getting tired of me. "We don't know. You'll have to find it on your own."

"It's in a place you've been before…that's all I know." Ellone adds, oh-so helpfully.

"In a place _I've_ been? Or a place that _Squall's_ been? Or in a place we've _both_ been? _Or_, better yet, let me guess: you don't know."

"Somewhere we've _all_ been." She replies.

_All…?_

Cid can sense my annoyance and hard feelings towards her and quickly continues on. "Anyway, from inside the castle…it'll just be what you two do best. I've arranged for a ceremony and party upon your return, boys. I'm sure all will be well."

_Yeah, if we don't fucking **die**._ "Is that all, then?"

The headmaster looked at me strangely, and I could tell Quistis didn't approve-but when did she ever? "Yes, Seifer…that is all."

"Good. I've got somewhere to be." And with that I stood and walked out, heading for the infirmary.

To my surprise, Squall caught up with me after a moment. "What the hell was that?"

I stared straight ahead, with my usual stay-the-fuck-away scowl. "What was _what_?"

"Doubting Ellone, walking out like an asshole-"

"Excuse _me_ for not trusting her as easily as you. You end your last meeting with her in a fight and then, after all these years, everything's magically hunky-dory? Sorry, I don't quite buy it." I paused for a second before adding. "And, for your information, I really _do_ have somewhere to be."

Squall frowned up at me. "Where's that?"

"I fail to see how that's any of your business." Why I decided to pick a fight about it instead of just telling him the truth, I'd never know. I think I felt like…he'd laugh at me. I may have been strong, but I was also stubborn and over confident…and, therefore…I was also always last. I'd know my facts, but screw up tests for not listening. I'd excel in battle, but fail the field training for always doing what _I_ thought was best, instead of what I was ordered. But isn't that what _real_ leadership is about? Doing not only what you're ordered to, but making good quick decisions based on what you believe to be the best, safest move for your group? Why, then, did I always fail?

"…what?" Squall seemed a little surprised by my answer, as if I had no right to blow him off.

I was irritated. "Look, princess, you _kick_ me and run off this morning-as much as it _flatters_ me that you haven't decided to throw me to the curb yet until you've thought it over a little more-then you ignore me for the whole meeting until I question your _dear old friend_, who happens to be sitting in _my_ seat, who then feeds me lines improvised off a fortune cookie…and you expect this to all just be great? Good ol' Seifer, who always brushes everything off?-well not today. We've got enough to do and worry about as it is, so I _don't_ need everyone getting on my ass about every little thing, thank you very much."

Of course, by then, I wasn't the only one who was irritated. "What, so you think everyone's picking on you or something? What the hell is this? Some kind of 'Poor Seifer' pity-party? I figured you, of all people, could handle a little criticism."

I stopped dead and turned to him with a sneer. "And what the fuck do _you_ know about criticism? For my whole fucking life I've been picked on and called names I can't ever imagine anyone calling you-The Mighty Squall Leonhart-who excels at every. Fucking. Thing. The only thing wrong with you is your social skills, and nobody bothers to pick on the quiet guy who never fights back. So stop giving _me_ shit about all this stuff you don't even fucking know about. I _don't_ need this right now." My eyes found their way to a clock. "And now, thanks to _you_, I'm late." I pulled some last mock-politeness to prevent him from saying more. "Forgive my rudeness, Mr. Leonhart, but I must take my leave!" With that said, I turned and took off at a run, going much faster than necessary. _Why…? Ah, fuck, you're so stupid, Seifer. Good job. A-fucking-+._

I didn't think that he would follow me, but I never saw him.

* * *

As soon as I'd made it to the infirmary, I plopped into a waiting room chair, mentally berating myself for everything I'd said. 

"Hmm…late as usual, eh, Seifer? Are you sure you want my help?"

I couldn't look at her. "…sorry."

She quirked a brow, seeming to be surprised at my sincerity. "Well, that's alright…you seem troubled." She stood and beckoned me to a room further back. "Come, tell the Doc your problems."

I snickered at the implication that I felt like talking to a shrink, but for the time that I'd known her, she'd always been kind to everyone-even me. I gave her the quick synopsis, and fidgeted with the book on my lap. "So, in other words, I'm an asshole."

She laughed a little, instead of scolding me for my language. "I have to admit, you two certainly seem to like making it hard for yourselves."

I frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well…instead of just talking things out, you always pick fights with each other. While you're best friends…and more, you're still playing rivals. Stubborn to the core, you both want to beat each other and come out being the one who was right all along."

_Damn. She's got a point._

"But you know…relationships aren't about being right. Only when you both learn to set aside your rivalry will you be able to get along well. While I'd say it'll be hardest for _you_, since you _always_ want to be the best-"

"Whaaaat?"

"-it'll also be hard for Squall, because he doesn't like to admit when he's wrong. Saying sorry, forgiving each other…it's all part of something greater that you both have yet to learn. I can't say that things will be right as rain when you do, but have patience. Now, on to our lesson for today…"

At that moment, I almost wanted to hug her. Almost. It sounded kind of like something I could imagine my mother telling me. Not as simple as telling me not to give up, but actually trying to explain it while also sending vibes of a message of hope to you. It was exactly what I needed to hear…but still didn't solve the problem for me. "Hey…can I ask a favor?"

She looked up at me from the book. "_More_ favors? What did you have in mind?"

"Cid ignored your advice-we leave on Sunday."

"Oh, dear…"

I'm not worried about my physical condition…I feel pretty good. But…this magic stuff…if we only practice for a little now and a little tomorrow, I won't…I won't be able to…"

"…protect him?"

I looked elsewhere, but nodded slightly. "So if we could…I don't want to get in the way of your work…but every extra second could help me tomorrow…"

"How about some coffee?"

I blinked an looked over at her. "…am I missing something here?"

"Well, for Pete's sake, something's got to hold your eyelids open!"

I felt a little stupid, because I _still_ didn't understand. "Are you saying…"

"I'm _saying_…" She smiled mischievously. "…that _I'm_ not getting any sleep tonight-are you?"

I grinned a bit, relieved. "Hell no."

"Good. I'm going to work you like a dog, Seifer Almasy-no quitting or whining allowed. By tomorrow, you should be able to take care of half my patients for me. It'll be the shortest time I've ever taught anyone in…especially someone of…your special level."

"I'll take that as a compliment. You sure this is possible?"

She shook her head. "Nope…but I'm not sending my two favorite students off to battle without first making sure I've done everything I can."

"Um…about the book…"

Dr. Kadowaki blinked. "Yes?"

"I've read it before."

"Excellent!"

"…it didn't help."

"Oh…"

I took her up on that coffee-it was going to be a long night.


	33. Chapter 33

HOLY CRAP! It's ME! Can you believe it? Well, _I_ hardly believe it, so I guess that's only fair. It's been over year since I updated...and I really am ashamed and very sorry. On the one hand, you can most definitely blame me. I've been lazy and motivationless. On the other hand, it would be cool if you didn't blame me because...well, my life has been like a battle, and I'm first starting to get better. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but...I've been going through a lot of hard things over here and...making the decision to break away is the hardest part. But you have to give me credit for trying, right? I haven't forgotten you guys. I think about this place all the time. I first joined this site...what, four three ago? May of 2005, I think. (Which is funny, cause I have a hideously bad memory now-a-days) I've made some of my best friends through writing on this site, and I'll never forget that. I can't promise more updates soon, and I can't say for sure whether I'll be updating more stories soon as well. I'll try to update my profile once a month or so...I've been kiiiiinda doing that. My job is rough, there's so much work here at home...I'm lucky when I get to spend time on myself on my days off. But, like I said, I've been working on some things with myself and...well, I'll see what I can do. I'm feeling a lot more creative and motivated lately. I ask you all to please be supportive in these hard times and wish me luck getting through.

Well, between writing this nice, long chapter and making dinner over here and stuff, it's almost 11:30...and I work at 6 AM! cries Why? Well, because Circuit City is crazy, that's why. So I end up getting up at five in the morning...just to go do invintory and organize things. Haha...how ridiculous. But hey, I like warehouse better than when I worked the sales floor. No annoying customers! Be kind to your local (good)sales people and they'll be kind to you! Haha...I always liked the one REALLY cool person I would get occasionally. They would always brighten my day. Be somebody's cool person!...or something. Okay, it's almost midnight now. I reeeally gotta go. I love you all! I know there's a million reviews I never replied to, and I know I should be smacked. Hell, by now you guys probably don't remember what you wrote! I'll try to be better with it this time. I check my email enough, I think. If any of you still need the lemons, please remind me! I'm very forgetful and although I still have your unreplied reviews in a folder, I can't say for sure that I'll remember to look it over tomorrow! Nite nite!

**--**

**Chapter 33**

**--**

Nothing can make you feel quite as stupid as trying really hard to do something you suck at. We studied the whole night through and by 6 AM, I was dead tired. Kadowaki kept the coffee coming, but it was beginning to quit being effective. Luckily, I had a better chance of falling asleep in Quistis' class than with the doc-I've never been smacked on the head that many times in my whole life.

8 AM came, and the training center was officially open-basically meaning that the kids were free to go get hurt now. There were a couple field training things going on, Kadowaki informed me, and so I was sure to get plenty of practice.

I tried to inflate my ego, but it wasn't quite working-and that's when the first one of the day waddled in. It was just some kid I'd never seen before, with a decent sized cut below his knee.

"Dr. Kadowaki, I hurt my leg-could you-"

"Seifer, dear, I'm busy. Could you take care of it?" Of course, she was "busy" sitting at her desk, reading. Apparently she was my secretary today.

"You got it, chief." I couldn't help the sinister grin that came to my face when the boy gave me a look of pure horror.

"But I-he-"

"This way, son. Dr. Almasy will take good care of you." I tried hard not to burst out laughing-the kid looked like he was going to cry. He hesitantly followed me into the small private room, obviously nervous to the extreme. "Have a seat, pull up your pants leg."

"Uh, you know, I've changed my mind. I feel fine! See? I can-"

I nearly growled. "_Sit. Down._" And he did. "Don't piss in your pants, now." I healed him without incident, and when I finished, he let out the breath he'd been holding.

"Um…thanks."

"Uh huh." Even though I hadn't actually touched him, I washed my hands, feeling all doctor-like suddenly.

He laughed nervously on his way out the door. "Never figured you as the caring-for-others type…"

I wasn't sure whether to be offended or not. After all, I enjoyed my tough-guy image, but being seen as a more caring soul had its advantages, too.

The whole day passed by without problems, even though most people seemed pretty terrified. Did I look _that_ bad in my white lab coat? I enjoyed when Kadowaki starting telling people "The doctor will see you in room one shortly." and they would all give her these really funny looks-as if she'd flipped. A certain Irvine came in with a broken trigger finger, nearly in tears. Apparently a T-Rexaur had trampled him. I pitied the poor guy, who would probably shoot _himself_ if he ever lost the finger permanently. He did nicely inform me that my gorgeous lover had spent the day in the training center as well-at which time _I_ informed _him _that that was only because I was busy, and unable to screw him senseless all day long like we normally did on the weekends. I figured out that he must be bi, because he laughed instead of getting grossed out. Although he had been Rinoa's little toy for a while, he was kind of part of the 'gang' now-that is, the people who were technically my friends, even if I would never say they were.

Dr. Kadowaki poked her head into one of the little rooms, where I was finishing up with a patient. "There's one more for you, Seifer, and then I want you to go eat dinner and get as much sleep as possible, alright? Doctor's orders."

"But I _am_ the doctor now."

She laughed a little. "Maybe someday." With that, she closed the door and continued on with her business-whatever that was.

I washed my hands as the shaking kid left, just as amazed as all the rest. I stepped out and immediately turned back around to close the door. "Alright, kid, step into room 2."

"The only thing you need to heal is your swollen head."

I snickered, turning around to face Squall. "Why, just your very _presence_ deflates it! Did you come to accompany the doctor to dinner?"

"Maybe…if you take that coat off."

I grinned. "Aww, why? I thought it brought out my eyes…"

"I don't want to be stared at." Squall crossed his arms, ignoring my joke.

I carefully slipped out of the white jacket, hanging it up. "I got news for you, sweetness: we're going to be stared at no matter what. For one, we're both drop-dead sexy. For two, I don't know if you've noticed, but people seem to freak out at the very sight of me-not to mention I'm sure the Dr. Almasy rumors have spread already."

Poor Squall, he seemed to be getting a headache already. "Let me rephrase it for you: I don't want to be stared at _more than absolutely necessary._"

"Oh. Well, that can be arranged…for a price."

He blinked and looked up at me momentarily before glaring. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but I'm not-"

I leaned down and kissed him, causing him to blink once more. "Paid in full." I hooked arms with him and he pulled away when he came back to his senses, obviously still not used to this whole boyfriend thing.

At first he just seemed a little ticked, like usual, but then he realized that Kadowaki was right there, had heard everything, and could easily have seen. And even knowing that she already knew about our relationship from overhearing us some the night before-not that I knew that at the time-he whacked me.

"Ow! What'd I do?"

"Dumbass." And with that, he walked out, leaving me to follow, jogging to catch up.

* * *

Dinner was like a romantic date: just the two of us, delicious food and _love_-or, I would have liked it to be. The main dish was some kind of salty, smelly fish…needless to say, I'd rather eat Squall. And unlike I had hoped, we weren't alone. Everyone, and I mean literally _everyone_, from our little 'gang' was there, taking up our table. The two of us stopped half way there and stared. "What the…" I made my way over there coolly, leaving Squall behind. I dropped my tray onto the table with a clang and grinned down at them menacingly. "Excuse me, waiter, I believe I asked for a table for _two_. What the fuck is this?"

Selphie jumped up excitedly. "Finally! We've been waiting for you!"

I stared, just a little confused. "…me?"

"Well, you and Squall."

Said man appeared at my right. "Why?"

"Well, a going-away party, of course! I mean, you'll be back, but we just thought, well, um…" She was obviously having a hard time deciding just how to say it.

Irvine helped her out after a moment. "We're here to see ya off, is what she means."

I quirked a brow. "Is that so? And who says we _want_ this party?" _We…might not come back at all. Do you guys realize that? This is no joke! …or…is that exactly why you're all here?_

Zell slid down two bags, marked with the logo of a nice fast food joint in town, and I instantly changed my mind.

"But company never hurt, right, Squall? I _love_ parties!"

Squall covered his face with a gloved hand, obviously embarrassed at being anywhere near me in public.

I had a seat next to Raijin and Squall sat across next to Irvine…but he wasn't nearly as thrilled as I was. And why not? Can't beat friends who give you good food.

And then _she_ just had to appear and ruin it all. "Hello Squall, everyone!" Oh, how I wanted to repeat a line I had heard in a movie once: _Here she coooomes to wreck the daaaaay!_

"An' who might you be, ma'am?" Though Irvine made space for her immediately next to Squall, as he's the only one she called by name.

"Oh, how rude of me! I'm Ellone, and I'll be helping Squall and Seifer through this mission." She had a seat, giving Squall this kind of half hug that made my skin crawl. He shrugged it off, but it was completely lacking in the alarming 'Get off me!' vibes that he would have used if it had been me. _Hell, he'd probably have hit me!_ It didn't really seem fair.

Selphie, of course, soaked it up instantly. "Oh! Then you're a part of this party, too!"

She looked over at the shorter girl. "Party?"

"Yeah! It's a…well, it's a good luck party! Oh…but we didn't get you anything to eat…"

Squall offered up his food. "You can have half…"

And the first thing that came to my appalled mind was: _I bet you wouldn't do that for __**me**__!_ Of course, then bigger things came to mind as I realized they really didn't have anything to cut it with.

"Oh, Squally, you're always so thoughtful." She happily started munching on his burger without thinking twice. The whole nickname thing rather annoyed me…and if it bugged Squall, well, he didn't show it. It was really starting to tick me off.

"So…" I tried my hand at gathering information and making it seem like normal conversation. "Where did you get this special time travel power, anyway? Are you secretly a _sorceress _or something?"

Squall glared at me instantly, as if to say 'Why the hell can't you leave this alone?' _Why can't I…?_

She looked up innocently and swallowed her food before answering, like the polite girl that she was. "Oh, no. I've had this power all my life."

"Woooow!" Selphie was easily amazed. "Tell me what happens to me! Who do I marry?"

Were sorceresses able to be _born_, or just created? I don't think anyone knew. "So you can see the future?" _That could be useful. 'Do Squall and I end up together five years from now?' Haha…I'd probably be too chicken to find out._

"Mm." She agreed, munching on a fry. "I can also see the past. Of course, I don't think I could ever physically send anyone there."

"_Somewhere we've __**all**__ been." _

Then it dawned on me. "You've been to see Squall's past."

Ellone stared down at the table, easily confirming it for me. Squall had looked ready to rip me a new asshole, but now he just stared at her expectantly. "I…wanted to know." She suddenly sounded choked up and everyone was absolutely silent. "I wanted to know what it was that was hurting you so much! I…just wanted to help…"

_Then she already knew…exactly who I was. She pretended not to know, but…all along. _I stood abruptly, and all eyes were suddenly on me. "So that's why, then? That's why you were his best friend there. Quiet little kid arrives who won't talk to you like every other kid does, so what do you do? You take a nice little vacation into his past, that was _none of your fucking business_, and then KA-BOOM! You magically know him better than anybody else! That must have been pretty fucking convenient, huh?"

She seemed rather hurt by what I said, as if she had never thought of it that way-and she probably hadn't. Squall hissed at me again, as if to warn me that I was taking things too far, like always. "Seifer!"

I pointed an accusing finger at him. "Shut up." He seemed slightly taken aback, but I continued. "Even when we were kids, and especially now…I've had to try so hard to get your trust. I've earned every fucking thing I know about you, and what? This cheapskate shows up after however many years and suddenly she's your new best friend! Am I seriously the _only one_ who finds this suspicious as fuck?"

_Come to think of it, Cid seemed pretty nervous about explaining how he found her._

"Seifer." Squall followed my lead and stood, staring at me with icy eyes, and crossed his arms. "At least she was only trying to help. When you came to Balamb Garden, if you had that power, can you honestly say that you wouldn't have used it?"

I narrowed my eyes and mockingly crossed my arms. "Well, that's not exactly relevant here, is it? It doesn't matter if I _would_, she _did_."

"I'm _sorry_!" Ellone jumped up, joining the standing group. "Seifer…please, I don't mean to come in-between you two. Don't be mad at Squall…he's just trying to defend me. But I understand…what you're saying. His past was his to tell me, not mine to take. I was too young, and I really did…only want to help. Please understand that. Though Cid has made some generous offers, this mission is my only purpose here-I won't be staying at Garden. Laguna Loire, the president of Ester, is like a father to me, and so…if you two should ever need anything on another quest, please come to see us. I am sure, he would do anything to help." She smiled sadly. "Please excuse me, I must rest before tomorrow." Without another word, she turned and started for the cafeteria's exit. The rest of the group politely called goodbyes after her, but Squall just stared at me coldly for a moment before sitting again stiffly.

_Isn't Loire the guy that donated the Ragnarok to this Garden? How interesting that he chose __**here**__ of all Gardens. It was obviously her doing._

"You are the biggest fucking _asshole_ I've-"

"Bite me, princess! At least I'm _consistent_ about it. She's the only person I've ever seen you be _nice_ to-suck up, much?"

He drew his fist back and Irvine coughed, suddenly reminding us that there were other people in the room. Squall hesitantly lowered his arm and growled. "Whatever."

I grinned at him smugly before taking a large bite out of my burger, but inside, I was thinking other things. _This whole mission sounds rigged to me. Cid's hiding something, that much is obvious. I feel like I'm forgetting something important…_ Reaching down to grab a fry, I realized I had no ketchup. "Hey, Squall, do you have any ketch-" Before I could even finish, said requested packet smacked me in the face, then falling to the table with a plop. One look at him and I could catch a glimpse of the amusement in his eyes. I quirked a brow before flicking a fry in his direction. The greasy food hit his white shirt before ultimately landing in his lap. I pretended not to notice and opened the little white packet.

Squall looked about ready to kill me when Zell interrupted. "Hey, guys! Can't we all just get along?"

I gave him a dubious look and poured my ketchup in his hair, then mussing it up. "Mind your own business, chicken-wuss."

"You! Gah! Are you _crazy_?!" He took a swing at me and only missed because I leaned over too far and hit the deck. _Ow…that's what I get for taking an end seat..._

Next thing I knew, cola was poured over me, ice and all. "What the fu…" I sent Squall a good glare from my place on the floor as he replaced the lid on his now-empty drink. With a sudden burst of energy, I grabbed a handful of ice and jumped to my feet, grabbing the brunet and dropping it down the back of his shirt. It had been hard to get around the jacket, but not impossible. Everything he wore was just slightly too big for him.

He hissed and stood, shaking out his shirt so that the ice fell to the floor. By now, we were the spectacle of the cafeteria, and all eyes were on us.

Irvine protected Selphie from Zell's fries and stuffed one up the blond's nose. The annoyed boy promptly removed and _ate_ it, to prove some point or another that I'm sure I would never figure out.

"Ewww…" Selphie cringed. "I'm never eating fries again!"

Raijin tried to joined the fun by crumpling up the paper from his burger and throwing it at Fujin, but it…didn't go so well.

"LAME." She kicked him in the shin and he cried out before hugging it to himself and leaving her alone, mostly likely deciding that it was more fun just to _watch_.

As soon as the ice was gone, Squall jumped me and we hit the ground hard. Lucky for him, _I_ was the one who hit, so _I_ was the one with the wind knocked out of me. He pulled his fist back and I tried to prepare myself for the hit…but it never came. He rolled off of me and sat up. "What the hell am I doing…?"

I blinked. "Extracting revenge?"

A fist shot out like lightning and landed in my stomach. "Shit!" I curled up instantly.

"You're making me insane!"

I recovered instantly and sat up, taking offense to the statement. "Hey, I think you were insane long before _I_ ever got here."

He sighed, as if he were getting tired of my stupidity. "That's not what I mean. Ever since you came here…you did all this ridiculous stuff that got me noticed incessantly! And now…suddenly, _I'm_ doing such stupid shit…all the things…I've been trying to avoid this all along and you _knew_ that! I never wanted all this attention…I never wanted to be the one that everyone depends on!"

I frowned. "Hyne, that _again_? I thought you were past that by now!" I paused a moment. "Does that mean you won't be officially moving in with me yet? Ow!" I rubbed the back of my head where I had been hit.

"Shut up with your twisted fantasies! We may as well just wear shirts that say 'FAG' in big, neon pink letters!"

"Actually…" I soberly confessed, "I _do_ have a shirt that says 'Fight world overpopulation: turn gay today!'."

Squall looked horrified. "If you _ever_ wear it…"

"Oh, keep your panties on. I won't wear it. I bought it as a _joke_."

The brunet twitched. "…panties?"

I laughed nervously, and sure enough:

_WHACK!_

I fell backwards and covered my face with my hands. "Ahh! God _damn!_ Ow…I love you but I _hate_ you…argh..bastard…"

Seemingly satisfied with that, Squall stood and dusted himself off. I noted his particular annoyance with his now wet shirt. _Well, that's what you get for tackling me. Ha!_

Suddenly, a gloved hand was extended towards me. I blinked at it and looked up at its owner, who didn't seem to think anything of it. I hesitantly reached out, as if he might retract it at any moment and laugh at me, and clasped his hand. He helped pull me up with more strength than you would think could be present in such a feminine form. He grunted with the effort and suppressed a sigh when I was able to let go. "I hope you're never hanging off a cliff, because I _won't_ be able to save you."

"_Hey_. Read my lips: I. Am. NOT. Fat! Got it? This is solid muscle, baby!" I leaned closer and purred, "And you should know that better than anyone."

"Shut up!" He shoved me away and sat back down, but I could have sworn there was a slight reddish tint to his cheeks.

"Okay!" Irvine held up a paper bag. "Time for the goods!" He pulled out a thick bottle, no doubt of an alcoholic substance.

Selphie, who had apparently planned it with him, produced seven glasses. "Let's have a toast for good luck!"

Everyone settled down and had a seat again, including me.

"Okay..." Selphie grinned as she handed out glass after glass once they'd been filled by the cowboy. "Who's going to make it?"

All were silent, as nobody seemed to want to make any kind of speech. We sat there, staring at each other, waiting for somebody to grow some balls.

Zell sprung to his feet suddenly, startling everyone. "To…HOTDOGS!"

"…" We all gave him odd looks and he quickly changed his mind and returned to his seat.

"…kidding?" He laughed nervously.

"Right…" Irvine scratched the back of his head. "Well, this is thanks for a good party. You guys definitely ain't what we all thought ya were, when we first met ya."

Selphie bounced in her seat, shaking that whole side, and effectively ticking Squall off a little. "To Seifer, for making Squall open up to us!"

Said brunet gaped a little, as if wanting to protest, but not exactly sure what to say.

I smirked. "Well, I know how to show a lady a good time."

Squall's eyes narrowed and he looked just about ready to break the glass over my head.

"This is all for saving the world, ya know? Not just anybody could do it, ya know."

"AGREED."

I looked at my glass thoughtfully before raising it. "To Balamb, the only place I've ever really…felt at home."

Everyone looked at Squall expectantly, and I almost thought he'd tell us all to kiss off. 'To hell if _I'd_ make some kind of stupid speech.', I could almost hear him say.

Instead, he lifted his glass slowly, as if in thought. "To…the stupidity that's helped us countless times." _Hey, my plans were brilliant!_ "And…to the only asshole I'm stupid enough to follow through the desert, into space and even…though time."

I tried to look on the verge of tears. "Squall…I'm touched!"

Everyone cheered and started tapping glasses, and predictably, the annoyed brunet smacked his glass against mine so hard that I nearly expected them to crack. A little of the dark liquid spilled and I looked at it mournfully.

Instead of trying to enjoy it, Squall downed it in one shot and I briefly wondered where he learned to drink like that. Zell coughed, obviously inexperienced in the ways of the adult. I took my sweet time, savoring the bitter taste. Who knew if we'd ever get any again?

_We may…never come back. Is it smart for both of us to go? I know the most…ha, who am I kidding? There's no way he'd let me go alone. Even though I can heal now, I…I'm afraid…_

_You better not get hurt this time. I don't know what I'd do…if…_

I realized everyone was starting to leave for the night and I wondered when I had made so many friends. We all stood and Selphie eagerly hugged us before we all parted ways.

Squall and I walked together in silence for some time.

I glanced over at him briefly. "What if I said that…I don't want you to go with me?"

He didn't look my way, but narrowed his eyes. "I'd say too damn bad."

_Hyne, you sound more like me everyday! _"Maybe it isn't a good idea for both of us to go. If she has this whole thing planned and _knows_ we're coming, it'd be better if one of us stayed behind, to see things through."

"Since when do you think this far ahead?" Squall stopped abruptly and crossed his arms. "What happened to busting in there, hitting some people, and seeing where it goes?"

I came to a halt, turning to face him. "Look…these past few times, I almost got you killed."

"There's a reason it's called a _battle_, Seifer. That possibility always exists. The chance for death is all around us, whether we're fighting anything or not. There's always a risk involved…that's nothing new. It's what we do to prevent it that matters, and I think we've done all we can."

"But I…"

He began walking again. "We're going whether we want to or not. That's already been decided for us. But we can resolve…to be less careless. The better we can tolerate each other, the better our chances of focusing on what's _important._"

_But you…are what's important. What good is saving the world if you're not here with me?_

I gave an empty smirk and followed. "So you're going to try to get along with me, huh?"

Squall removed a glove and rubbed his temple. "I'm going to _try_. So you better try not to be so fucking annoying!"

"I'll _try_." I mimicked.

We arrived outside our dorms and I couldn't help but feel nervous. I grabbed the handle on my door, but his voice stopped me.

"Not going to _beg_ me to sleep with you? That's shocking."

"…" I hesitated, but pushed my door open, unsure of what I could say to that.

"…" I could hear the frown in his voice. "You're going to see Ellone and go without me." It wasn't a question.

"Heh…" The small smile that came with the sound vanished easily. "I wouldn't-"

"Yes you would. Ellone would refuse and you would threaten her, telling her how it's 'for me'…" I could almost see him narrowing his eyes at my back accusingly, crossing his arms. "…you don't think you'll be coming back." Another non-question.

"I…"

"Since when were you ever so self-sacrificing? Stop trying to play the hero."

_But her power is…terrifying. _"Listen, we don't know what she's capable of-"

"Since when is Seifer Almasy ever afraid? And what are you, a guinea pig? There's no point in being the test subject if you can't come back with the data you collect. So wouldn't it make more sense to bring someone with you?"

I sighed and dropped my hand from the door knob. "…I don't know." _It __**seemed**__ like a good idea..._

He didn't seem happy with my response. "Either way, you're not going by yourself, idiot." He grabbed my arm suddenly and dragged me inside.

"What-"

He shut the door before turning to face me. "You're _not._ And I'm going to make sure of it."

"Does this mean you're sleeping with me?" I tried, pulling my coat from my shoulders and hanging it over the chair before kicking my boots off.

"…I..guess…"

I blinked. "Wow, really?"

Squall glared at me. "Fuck you."

I sat down on the bed and teasingly ran my hands down my torso before slipping my shirt over my head. "Sounds hot."

"Okay, forget it." He made a disgusted face and sat down on my chair, as if he'd be content just sitting there all night.

"Mm." I hummed in a way that suggested 'That's your too bad'. I laid back and slowly slipped my hands down along my warm skin, going over my already tightening jeans a little before unbuttoning them.

"Seifer…" On the surface, it sounded like one of his regular warnings, but it was a little weak.

I smirked and whispered his name back to him breathily. "Squall…" I unzipped the pants and slowly pulled them down from my laying position before dropping them on the floor. I reached for my boxers next, but a warm hand grabbed onto mine firmly.

"…cut it out."

"Hm?" I looked up at him. "What, can't control yourself?"

"Shut up!" He let go of my hand and stared off at the wall. "You could die tomorrow…but to hell if you think I'm going to let you die by yourself."

"Aww…" I grabbed his arm and with one good jerk, he fell on top of me with a grunt of protest. "You're so sweet today!"

"The hell? Let me go!" He struggled to get out of my tight grip.

"Only if you remove your clothes and come back willingly." I shot back.

"…" Not seeing any other choice, he sighed. "Fine, whatever. Just let me go already!"

When I did, he got up quickly, like jumping away from a diseased animal. He removed his jacket, hanging it up on a hook in the wall like I probably _should_ have done. He untied his boots before removing them and then purposely removed his pants in as un-sexy a way as possible-which really _wasn't_ possible. What he failed to realize is that removing his pants is sexy, no matter _how_ he does it. After debating it a moment, he pulled the white shirt over his head, folding both pieces of clothing and placing them on the chair.

"Hyne, you're such a neat freak. Hurry up!" I whined. And then a sock hit my face. I coughed a little and peeled it off. "Can I get you to do the same with your boxers?" _PLOP!_ Another sock. "…I'll take that as a no." As an after thought, I sat up and pulled my own socks from my feet and dropped all four on the floor.

He pushed me aside and laid down, careful to face away from me. _Ha, like that trick works on me!_ I turned on my side to face towards him and wrapped my arms around his slim waist gently, pulling his thin body close against me with ease. I snuggled into his silky hair for a moment, just taking it all in.

"Do you think…Ultimica is the last one?" Came his soft, whispered voice.

I pulled my face back and rested my chin on his shoulder, whispering back. "I don't know. I kinda doubt it, really. I mean, come on. You know Rinoa's still out there. We'll have to kill her eventually. After _that_…who knows?" I smirked a little and bit his ear gently.

"…Seifer…"

"Yeah?" I placed light kisses down his neck, leaning over him more to try and reach his collar bone. And suddenly, I was elbowed in the ribs. "Fuck!" I hissed. "What the hell's wrong with you?!"

"I'm _tired._ Do you realize we have to get up in five hours?"

"We could _die_ tomorrow…shouldn't we go out with a _bang_?" I tried massaging his side a little.

Squall slapped my hand away. "Fuck you."

"Wish you would." I mumbled, exasperated.

"What?"

"I said…" I paused a moment, changing my mind at the last second. "I love you, too, princess."

He growled and scooched as far away from me as possible. "_Whatever_."

_I wonder if he heard me?_ I tried hard not to laugh at the thought and pulled him close once again.

"Seifer!"

"_Relax_, I'm not gonna do anything. Geez."

After a few minutes he seemed to believe me, and I waited for him to fall asleep. I knew there was no way I'd be able to. Something I knew, somewhere in my mind, was bugging me. Something I had seen or heard, that I had apparently forgotten. I knew it was important, but I just couldn't grasp it. All I could do was listen to the ticking clock and Squall's shallow breathing, wondering. I couldn't shake the feeling.

_This is all wrong._


	34. Chapter 34

Hey all! Short time, no see, eh? Well...short if you realize how long it's taken me before. XD I had a lot of trouble keeping focus for this chapter. It's been hot and humid, which always makes it hard to think. So until I hook up the internet on the computer in my room in the basement again, I'll have to deal. It's almost ten pages, so I hope you guys enjoy it.

**_NOTE_**: This chapter has a little, kind of smutty scene. Obviously, because of FFN's rules, I've removed it from the chapter. _If you guys want it, leave aq review with your email._ I know FFN automatically takes swear words out of reviews, so I wouldn't put it past them to have that filter on PMs, too. I wouldn't really know. And you guys know Seifer: he's a dirty, dirty, sexy beast of a man. So! You wnat the smut? That's what you've gotta do. Legal Blah Blah Blahs: As usual, I guarantee nothing will happen to your email addresses and so on...hell, I'm friends with many of you and probably already have some of your email addresses. Oh, and by requesting it, you hereby declare that you are over the age of 18 and legally able to read it and therefore I'm not responsible for any trauma, drama, or drooling effects it may have on your life. :D

Next chapter, many secrets will be revealed! And I'd bet most of you never saw it coming! Mwaha! Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 34**

I could only chuckle with amusement as I imagined the look on Squall's face when he awoke alone, before the sound of the shower could set in. For a brief moment, just a split second, I was sure…he would think I had left without him. It shouldn't have been a funny thought at all, really. But it meant he cared, that…even though he'd only said it a couple times…he loved me.

Sure enough, after a short while longer, there was a knock at the bathroom door. Making a sudden hasty decision, I chose to remain silent.

"…" After a moment, there was another knock. Soon after, a soft voice hesitantly called out my name. "Seifer…?"

I was grinning like mad, trying hard not to move lest the water sounds change and tip him off too soon, even though I was sure he'd kill me either way. I waited a while more.

The door opened ever so slightly, just so that his voice could more easily be heard. "Seifer…" He said it in his usual warning tone, as if he actually believed that I was there to hear it. At length, when no reply had come, he stepped inside the steamy bathroom, the tap of his boots indicating that he had, unfortunately, already dressed. "This isn't funny, damn it…"

_I disagree. _I stood by the curtain's edge, just waiting for the perfect opportunity. I briefly wondered if this would lead to having hot, wild sex for the next three hours, so we could delay being transported to our doom. I _hoped_ it would, anyway. I glanced down, slightly embarrassed at the effect such a simple thought could have on my body. _I wonder how much control we all have, really…?_

Squall came to a stop right in front of me on the other side of the thin maroon material. It was almost too perfect. He reached forward for the curtain, but stopped short. Just as I was about to rip it open, his voice stilled me. "You…better just be fucking around. If you're gone, I…I'll…" It sounded too much like he was uncertain-desperately hoping that it was all just one big joke. And for a moment, guilt overwhelmed me. And of course, the brunet chose that specific moment to fling the curtain open, and he could only stare in horror for a good minute, as I assume he didn't really expect to find anyone.

There I stood in all my naked, partially hard glory. As the shock passed and he scowled, I put my hands up defensively. "T-This isn't what it looks like!" _Oh, fuck, this is __**exactly**__ what it looks like!_ His fist, aimed at my face, was well anticipated, and I just barely leaned to the left in time, effectively dodging it. Because he attacked in rage and expected to land a hit, he fell forward after missing me. I grabbed a hold of him before he could completely trip into the tub.

He attempted to pull away immediately. "I can't believe you were getting off on that, you bas-"

From there, it was easy enough to do what I had intended from the start: I silenced him by crushing our lips together in a heated kiss. My tongue begged entrance into his mouth, but he simply refused to give in. That changed easily when a sneaky hand felt its way up his thigh. He gasped slightly before I deepened the kiss. _Tell me that things…will be like this forever._ We broke apart for air, and I couldn't help that my hips pressed against him needily all on their own. _No one's…going to die. Whatever I'm missing…I'll remember it and we'll get through this. We have to…_

"S-Seifer…" He had intended to growl at me like always, but I could already see his control slipping. It was rather new to me, because he'd always been the strong one that would never give in, while I would jump him every chance I got. It was…arousing. I leaned down and sucked on his neck, fully intending on leaving a mark.

"We…don't have ti-ahh…time…for this…" He tried, but it was already too late as far as I was concerned.

"That's interesting…" I mumbled, running my tongue along his collar bone slowly.

He sighed lightly, though it held a hint of frustration. A moment later, his warm skin disappeared from my lips and I opened my eyes, blinking in surprise as I saw that Squall was staring at me strangely. "…what?" Was all I could manage to ask.

Wordlessly, he dropped down to his knees and grabbed a hold of my bare hips, pulling me closer to the edge of the tub so he could reach me, even though he was already soaked. _Maybe you should just get in with me._ I stared blankly as he tipped forward slightly...

* * *

Squall pulled away slowly and swallowed. I waited for him to look up at me with lust-clouded eyes and beg me to fuck him into the mattress right _now_…but it never came. I opened my mouth, but could think of nothing to say. He sat there for a moment…before springing to his feet and grabbing the dial, turning the water to ice cold.

"_Fuck_!" I recoiled instantly, getting out of the spray. "What the _fuck_ did you do that for, asshole?!" He was ready to make a smart remark when I reached up, turning the shower head towards him so he got the full cold spray.

He hissed and ran out of the bathroom in favor of attacking me. I turned off the water and frowned. _Well, he's probably not hard anymore. Serves him right! Asshole!_ I wrapped my towel around myself and walked out, prepared to tell him _just_ what an ass he was being, when someone knocked on the door.

We both froze, not knowing what to do now. He had never put his jacket and gloves on in the first place, but the rest of him was soaked. And I was in only a towel. Deciding that fully clothed and wet was the lesser of the two evils, I shoved him in the direction of the door. He looked about to protest, so I growled. "Go open the fucking door!"

"Why should I?"

"Because you almost froze my balls off, you jackass!"

He blinked, as if it'd never even occurred to him that that's what he had done. Or maybe he was actually thinking 'That's what you get for making me think you had left, bastard!'-not that he would ever admit that, so I was safe in the good comebacks department. Either way, his stunt had kind of put me in a sour mood. _At least he didn't just get me close and then turn the water cold. I would have fucking __**killed**__him._ I shoved him again and he scowled, finally opening the door just as that someone had started to knock again.

It was Quistis, of course, who looked as shocked as ever at the wet, angry boy before her. "Um…"

"_What_?" Squall snapped before glaring off to the right to see the time. "…I believe we still have an hour."

She blinked once. "Yes…I just wanted to make sure Sei-er, you guys…were awake."

And then it dawned on Squall that he had just answered the door at _my_ dorm, soaking wet. He hung his head, glaring at the ground. "Oh, I fucking give up already!" He mumbled darkly.

Poor Quistis seemed quite confused. Which made sense, more or less, all things considered. "…what was that?"

I chose that moment to make my entrance, still soaking wet in my towel, which made things pretty obvious. And completely defeated the purpose of having Squall answer the door…or maybe not. "What's taking so lo-" I faked before putting on a sly grin. "Oh. My _dear_ Instructor! We're not late, are we?"

Squall nearly died right then, trying very hard not to turn around and beat me senseless. He refused to look anywhere but the floor.

"Um…no…" It was funny to see her so surprised, considering she really seemed to know already. She attempted to regain her composure, deciding, no doubt, that she had gaped long enough. The blonde narrowed her eyes suspiciously, recognizing my overly-sweet greeting as some kind of a scam. "I was making sure you were both awake and prepared."

"Ready and at full attention." I wondered if she would catch the innuendo.

She didn't seem to, and nodded. "One hour, the conference room. Don't be…late." With that she turned on her heel and stalked off, probably rather embarrassed that she always caught us like that. She was, doubtlessly, cursing her strange job of being the 'fetcher boy'-always having to come and get us.

As soon as the door was closed I was knocked onto my back roughly. Squall stared down at me with vicious eyes. "What the fuck were you doing?!"

"…getting even?"

He didn't hesitate to jump on me, punching my face mercilessly. "Why the hell do you always have to do this?!"

My hand shot up to my mouth and I hissed. _Why…?_ I stared up at him stupidly. "I…" But there was no explanation. I had no idea why, but I loved getting him angry. Maybe, really, it was that he was always trying so hard to seem emotionless and strong. It was nothing less than fascinating to watch him lose his temper or let his control slip away. Not that I could tell him that. I let my hand fall back to my side, blinking once. I really didn't know what to say.

Seeing that I had no lame excuses, he sighed. "Fuck, I hate you." And then his lips were on mine in a fierce kiss that was almost enough to get me hard all over again. It only lasted a few moments, though I had wanted more, but there had been a certain heat from it-a tingling, even. It took me a second to realize that my face didn't hurt anymore. But by then he had already gotten off me and grabbed his coat, leaving to his own room to change his clothes.

I sat up and stared at my empty doorway, wondering…if he really hated me or not. I knew he didn't, since we'd been assholes to each other since before I could remember, but…it made me contemplate all over again just how much he really resented me. _It's pretty easy to hate someone that…pisses you off on a regular basis. Or someone that always makes fun of you._ I thought of the countless insults we had traded. _They never bother __**me**__…but maybe that's just how I am. Over the years, after getting made fun of and talked about constantly, I've learned to ignore it completely-well, more or less. And it's always in good fun when we do it…I wonder if he really __**is **__super sensitive to all of it…I never did get to ask him. Before, he said…_

"_Ever since you came here…you did all this ridiculous stuff that got me noticed incessantly! And now…suddenly, I'm doing such stupid shit…all the things…I've been trying to avoid this all along and you knew that! I never wanted all this attention…" _

_I tried to brush it off, I tried to make it like…all of that wasn't a big deal. As if…we'd been through it all a hundred times and you were just bitching about something you'd already long-since accepted. But…_

"_I never wanted to be the one that everyone depends on!"_

_Maybe…you really haven't accepted this. I mean, you __**know**__ we have to do it, but…doing it because you're obligated and doing it because you want to are entirely different._

"_We're going whether we want to or not. That's already been decided for us."_

_Heh…you probably think I'm never listening…_

"_But we can resolve…to be less careless. The better we can tolerate each other, the better our chances of focusing on what's __**important**__."_

…_but I hear every word you say. _I gripped the carpet, frowning. _Kadowaki was right: we're still trying to beat each other. If one of us doesn't step beyond that at some point, we'll always be stuck in this weird relationship where you always really take offense to what I say…and you hate to love me. I don't think…I could stand for it to be like that forever-always wondering whether or not…you hate the things I say to you._

"_I have to admit, you two certainly seem to like making it hard for yourselves. Instead of just talking things out, you always pick fights with each other. While you're best friends…and more, you're still playing rivals. Stubborn to the core, you both want to beat each other out and come out being the one who was right all along. But you know…relationships aren't about being right. Only when you both learn to set aside your rivalry will you be able to get along well. Saying sorry, forgiving each other…it's all part of something greater that you both have yet to learn."_

_That's…exactly…_

Suddenly, Squall appeared back in the previously empty entrance to my room. He stared at me for a second, probably trying to decide exactly why it was that I hadn't moved an inch. "You realize that they expect us there in twenty minutes." Was all he chose to say on the matter.

I got up quickly. "I'm sorry-" And my towel chose that moment, after far too much movement had been made, to fall off, totally killing what I was about to try and say. I glared down at it. "What the fuck!"

The brunet sighed, covering his face with a gloved hand in as exasperated a manner as possible. "Just hurry up and get there." He dropped his arm back to his side, but refused to look my way. "_I'm_ not going to be late." That said, he turned and walked off.

I slumped my shoulders in defeat, knowing there was no point in calling him back. I snatched the stupid little cloth up off the floor and squeezed it mercilessly. "I was trying to do something, damn it, and you ruined it!" In a fit of rage, I flung it towards the bathroom. Finally picking up on what Squall had come there for in the first place, I shut my door and proceeded to get dressed, pretending that I hadn't just been standing around naked, talking to myself, for anyone to pass by and see.

* * *

When I finally arrived at the conference room, everyone was already seated and waiting-including Ellone. Quistis was, with her built-in teacher radar, the first one to pick up on my presence. "Three minutes late, Seifer! What did I tell you?"

"Hey. I'm putting _my_ life on the line and you're going to fuss about _three minutes_?" _Would __**you**__ be willing to take my place?_ I shrugged casually. "I don't _have_ to save the world. Maybe I should go back to sleep."

She seemed a little taken aback at my attitude and frowned. "That's not something to joke about. Sit down."

"Yeah, yeah. Excuses." I noted that Ellone was next to Squall as usual, and he had, as always, chosen to sit on an end. _I can't…let this bother me. _Suppressing a sigh, I took the seat across from the grumpy brunet, who looked less than thrilled at my entrance. _We have to…be less careless, right? So if I try to resist the incredible urges I get to piss you off, our chances will be better. It…makes sense._ _I can't deny that._

After a few minutes of awkward silence where I chose to preoccupy myself with my sleeve, Cid cleared his throat and began. "Well…I'm afraid this won't be much of a meeting. Consider it, instead, a…motivational speech. As you so boldly pointed out, Seifer, you two don't _have_ to save the world…indeed, it would probably be much easier if we all went back to sleep and forgot all about this…future sorceress, Ultimica. But she has already made moves against us, against our Garden…and against each other."

_How could I forget?_ It was still fresh in my mind-the day she had chosen to control me. In fact, it hadn't been long ago at all. Squall had done an excellent job healing me, and I felt just fine, but… _Argh, I know I'm forgetting something really important, damn it!_

Cid, obviously unable to hear my thoughts, continued on. "We must defeat her at all costs. And while I've had my doubts about you two and your…often dubious behavior…"

I just knew Squall was glaring at me. I could practically feel his piercing stare like a thousand tiny needles stabbing all over my body.

"…I have faith that you two can get the job done. It's the same game, just a new stage and level of difficulty." I didn't think that was a very good analogy. "Upon your return, Garden will be hosting a celebratory ball in your honor, to thank you for securing our future. Selphie Tilmitt will be making all the arrangements while you're gone, as she is head of the new Garden Festival Committee, which was suggested by her as well. I agreed easily-I'm sure you can understand that, with things being so grim around here lately. We could all use some uplifting, and I believe that spunky young woman can do just that. She already has a dozen events planned out for the next couple months. Aside from that, I may have some surprisingly wonderful news for you all in a few weeks-but that is neither here nor there." He dismissed it as quickly as he had said it, so no one could ask, but I could tell…something was fishy about it. "To come to the point, as well as having the honor of being the saviors of Garden and the world, I will personally make sure that you two have no worries for the rest of your lives. We have nothing left to teach you, so you may have whatever positions in Garden that you desire-except for mine, of course." He smiled sheepishly, and it made me wonder if he thought we would really _want_ his throne. _Throne…now __**that's**__ a good analogy. _I mentally patted myself on the back for a job well done. "Well, you still have to make it through first, but, like I said, I have faith in you. I'll be looking forward to your stories of future victory." He extended his hand towards me first and I stood automatically and took it, giving him a firm handshake.

But I abruptly let go. _Future…looking forward…someone said…_ But I couldn't remember who had said it or how exactly they had phrased it. Those three words were all I could remember. I mentally berated myself for having the memory span of a goldfish when it came to all the important things. _Gah, idiot! Why can't I remember?!_

Cid stared for a while. "…is everything alright, Seifer?"

That jolted me back to reality long enough to answer. "Yes, sir. Sorry…" Before plunging back into my thoughts again, not even realizing how polite I had just been.

They all gaped at me for a moment longer before Cid went on to shake hands with Squall, who did so without paying much attention. His mind was obviously on me, but, for once, I couldn't have been more oblivious to it if I had tried. I followed them all to the door before Quistis stopped the two of us short, throwing her arms around us in a teacher kind of hug. We both blinked, rather shocked at the sudden embrace.

"You two better…come back and serve all your detentions! Or there will be hell to pay, I promise you." She let go at length and smiled. "That's an order! My…last order. After this, it seems you two will be above me."

I put on a smug smirk instantaneously. "I wonder how much it'll pain you…calling me 'sir' on a daily basis."

She narrowed her eyes. "If it comes down to that, I just may have to resign, Mr. Almasy."

I made a show of letting the smirk drop dramatically. "Instructor, you hurt my feelings."

Quistis quirked a brow. "…I'm sure."

After a moment, Cid coughed and we followed him out the door, down the hall. Ellone was at Squall's side from the start, so I fell back. I had to wonder… _Am I just being possessive, or is she sticking to him at every possible moment? What is this, some kind of fucked up test to see if I'll stay with him or something? What, can't she just visit the past couple years and know exactly how we feel about each other? And that's __**if**__ that's even what she's doing or __**if **__she's actually doing things and I'm somehow __**not**__ just reading way too far into all of it. This is ridiculous! I'm going to go __**crazy**__…_

I hadn't even noticed when Squall had left her side, but the next thing I knew, he had fallen into step beside me and started speaking quietly. "What's wrong with you?"

And I instantly took offense to it. He could have said 'What's the matter?', 'What's up?', 'Are you okay?' or any number of things that sounded better than 'What's wrong with you?', even though he said it less in a what-the-fuck-is-your-problem tone and more like he was a little on the concerned side-just a bit, mind you. Not much. I opened my mouth to tell him to mind his own fucking business, but closed it just as quickly, remembering my silent promise to myself to cut it out, at least for this trip. "I was…" I averted my eyes, suddenly finding the cream walls very interesting. "…thinking."

"I hate when you do that." He responded quickly and I whipped my head around to look at him again, very ready to insult this time. "When you think too much." He continued on as if I wasn't giving him murderous looks. "You're usually doing one of two things: making idiotic plans that you honestly believe will work out-but won't, or fantasizing about disgusting things that I don't even want to know about."

I pasted on my sweetest smile, using a voice that dripped honey to match. "Oh, you just know me so well, don't you?" I promptly scowled and went back to staring at the wall, which was no doubt getting lonely without my angry gaze upon it.

I could imagine him blinking at that point, before narrowing his eyes. "If you're still pissed about this morn-"

"No." I cut him off. _Breathe, breathe, don't hit him…oh, Hyne, I sound like my own personal therapy session!_

"Then what the hell is it? Stop making me guess and just say it already!"

I gave him my best bored glace. "Don't you know? There's only two kinds of things I think about-that should narrow it down pretty well."

Squall could have apologized, could have retracted his previous statement-I realized I was doing it automatically that day: thinking about all the things he could have said, when, really, none of them mattered compared with what he actually did choose to say. "Humor me."

"We don't have time." I answered honestly. _More things than I could tell you in the next two minutes. This is supposed to be bigger than our personal problems, and you know it! …wait a minute…bigger than…us…_

'_Poor little boy. You're all so stupid. This is bigger than you, Almasy. It's bigger than all of you. I __**controlled**__ Adel. She was my puppet, just like you.'_

He stepped in front of me suddenly, forcing me to stop and look at him, effectively making me lose my train of thought. "If it's something important to this mission, you better damn well say it-"

"Here we are!" Cid announced from ten feet away, causing the brunet to turn his back to me, at which point I casually stepped around him and made my way to the door. Squall followed close behind me, definitely irritated at best.

It was a small, empty room, just as the girl had apparently requested. Ellone took our hands and pulled the two of us inside eagerly. Cid saluted us while Quistis merely waved before the brunette had shut the door, sealing our fate.

She moved behind us and kneeled on the floor, beckoning us with a wave of her hand. Squall sat on her right, and I on her left. After a moment, I felt kneeling was too uncomfortable, so I pulled my legs forward, plopping onto my ass happily and folding my right leg under myself, leaving my other foot flat on the ground so I could lazily lean on my knee. I briefly realized that I was more tired than I had originally thought-which made sense, considering I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep.

Squall shot me a weary glare for the position, and I shrugged in return. _I have a really bad feeling about this…it's all just too suspicious. And so…damn frustrating! It's like I have all the pieces to this fucking puzzle and I just can't figure out how they go! Hyne…_

"Okay, you both must listen to me very closely, because there will be only one chance to get this right." Ellone folded her hands and rested them on her lap. "I need you to leave everything else behind, and focus only on this mission. I don't have much control on where you'll end up, so it will be up to you to find the portals that will take you to your destination. Never forget your goal, or those same vortexes may take you far from it."

I quirked a brow. "If you've never done this before, how do you know what to do?"

"I _have _done it before. Once."

Squall didn't seem nearly as alarmed as I was. "Who was it?" When she didn't answer, I scowled darkly. "Tell me who it was!"

"I…"

Now Squall jumped in, when his precious childhood _best friend_ was being questioned, and it really ticked me off. "Shut up, Seifer. Maybe she doesn't remember."

I was about to ask how someone forgets the person they send to the future, but she finally chose to answer before I could get to it. "It was a girl! I…" After her sudden outburst, she quieted down, then staring at the floor. "I don't know what her name was…I never asked. She said that she'd been looking for me for years, and that…Balamb depended on it. I-I should have asked more questions, but I…I just wanted to make sure Squall would be safe-"

I knew exactly who she had unknowingly sent. "She had dark hair and eyes. A stupid preppy powder blue outfit." It wasn't a question.

"Yes…"

I hung my head and everyone was silent for a little while. At length, Squall spoke up. "You don't think…"

"She sent Rinoa to the future." I confirmed.

Ellone seemed confused. "Rinoa…? Is that bad…?"

"Gee, I don't know. Let me think. Damn right it's fucking bad!"

Squall hissed. "Seifer, she didn't know."

I crossed my arms, mocking him to some extent. I really couldn't stand it. _Stop…defending her so much! _"Well, ain't that a lovely excuse? She didn't know. Oh, and by the way, I had Raijin post up pictures of us sleeping together on every bulletin board in Garden. I guess I wasn't supposed to…sorry, I didn't know."

Squall, who seemed to be getting better and better at losing his cool lately, leapt at me and we hit the wall. He pulled his fist back with a nasty sneer, but never ended up hitting me since Ellone attached herself to him.

"No! You mustn't fight!" When she saw that he was making to get off of me, she relaxed and let go of him. "If you go in angry, one of you is bound to get lost…"

"Lost?" Squall echoed, plopping back onto his spot on the floor, without so much as a word of apology-but that was nothing new. The moody brunet had his own ways of showing when he was sorry, and they were usually quite pleasant.

I sat up, but stayed against the wall. "So we can get stuck in the future or something?"

"Yes…" She kneeled again. "Not necessarily in the future, but in time itself. You see, if you lose focus on your goal while in that specific place, you won't be able to remain there. Your bodies aren't being transported-that would be impossible. It's more like…your spirit travels through time, taking some kind of physical form in the other dimension. You two…are connected. This would never work if you weren't. If one of you gets lost, you'll both get lost."

"Together?" I inquired hopefully.

"I'm afraid not." She frowned slightly before continuing. "You will each be lost in your thoughts and feelings taking the form of physical places, even if you are really only feet apart. If that happens, the only way out is to think of the same place, a significant place in your memories together, at the same time. When the task is completed, before letting yourself get lost, you must focus all thoughts on this room, and then I'll be able to bring you back. That's all. Then we can put all of this behind us."

_But that takes…control. A __**massive**__ amount of control, at that. Who the heck can choose their every thought…? This is going to be impossible!_

"You two…" She hesitated slightly. "…are far more than friends, aren't you?"

"That's _right_." I snapped before Squall could answer, and he predictably narrowed his eyes into his favorite death glare. "Somethin' wrong with that?"

"Mm…" She seemed to be thinking, but smiled. "No. But you know…you guys aren't very good at showing it."

"Mind your own-"

"This will be impossible if you two fight. If you think too heavily on things that are unrelated to the mission, you may be stuck there forever." She paused and sighed lightly. "Please consider that…this is for the good of hundreds of thousands of people, not just yourselves. I can tell you're less than thrilled to do this…"

I snorted. _Can you say 'understatement of the century'?_

She ignored it easily enough. "…but we're all counting on you."

I couldn't understand why she said it. Of all people, she should have known how much Squall hated having all this responsibility dropped on his shoulders. I watched closely as he averted his eyes as if to silently say 'whatever'.

"Are you ready, then? Come closer, Seifer."

"_Hell_ no, we're not ready." But I scooched closer anyways. "I don't know about the princess, there-" I shrugged a shoulder towards Squall who predictably twitched. _Okay, okay, not supposed to do that._ "-but this isn't _my_ idea of a fucking vacation."

She took one of Squall's gloved hands, which made _me_ twitch, and then she took one of mine. "The only other thing I can tell you…is that, soon enough, you will both find yourselves exploring each other's painful pasts while you were apart."

"How-"

But she cut me off. "I'm afraid that's all I can tell you. Now, please focus only on the task at hand. Ultimica is waiting…and you know what you must do."

I thought of her ugly face and the evil things she had said to me. _I'll never forgive you for trying to use me to hurt Squall. I'll fucking **kill** you._ A strange sensation came over my body, and I panicked for a second before relaxing completely…then I lost consciousness.


	35. Chapter 35

Surprise, surprise! Yes, it is I. I'm not dead(if you checked my profile occasionally you'd know that for sure) and I'm not quitting. I really am sorry it took so long. I promised you guys I'd never quit on it and I won't. Things have been...rough lately. Well, maybe that will never change, huh? Seeing as it's after 2 AM, I don't have much to say and the only thing really on my mind is sleep. More me-ish things are posted on my profile if you guys are interested. I really am sorry to have left this for so long. I know waiting sucks...there's just so much to worry about now. I'm lucky I got this done. 11 pages, if I'm not mistaken. Oh, and we've hit the 200 page mark! (actually 205) Wow...200 pages of SxS goodness. Why, I remember back when I was just a twerp who couldn't even say yaoi properly, much less define it for you, and this was a SquallxRinoaxSeifer love triangle story! This was the first story I ever published on here, I think...and the longest. It's my baby, I guess. Haha...I really do love it. I'll never grow tired of their bickering.

Again, my sincerest apologies for taking forever and a day to get this out. Hopefully the next will come much more quickly. Oh, in the next one many um...interesting things will be revealed, including just what it was exactly that Seifer forgot that was so important. You guys will probably have to reread the whole damn thing to remember the story, and I'm sorry for that, too. Personally, I reread it just to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything important, since all the plot is in my head and not written anywhere. Yaoi isn't very appreciated at my house(except by me), I'm sure many of you can relate. (Plus, rereading it gets you back in the swing of things if you're rusty) Well, read on, my friends! I hope you all haven't forgotten about me by now...

This chapter is dedicated to M(like from James Bond?!) and Huggles(aw, that's cute...) since you guys left me no way to reply to your kind reviews. Thanks much! I hope to hear from you again!

**

* * *

**

~!~!~!~

**Chapter 35**

**~!~!~!~**

White. That was the first color I saw as I slowly came to. And then it hit me like a swift kick to the balls. I flew to my feet as if the ground were electrified. _Holy shit, it's freezing!_ Looking left and right I concluded that I must be up north. _Far_ north. It seemed a rather mountainous region, like Trabia. _Maybe I __**am**__ in Tribia…if that's the case, their Garden should be here somewhere…_Then I _really_ realized what the hell was going on. _The mission! Shit, she couldn't have picked somewhere warmer to drop us off? Wait a minute…_ I looked around me once again, seeing nothing but snow. "Hey! Squa-" The wind chose that moment to whip some of the falling flakes into my face. "Agh! God _damn_!"

"Bitching already?" Came an annoyed voice that was as cold as the snow itself.

I wiped my face clean with a gloved hand, scowling. "You know, I really don't appreciate your tone. Here I was looking for you, but I guess I should have known better! Bet you feel right at home, huh, _ice princess_?"

"Shut up." He crossed his arms and stared for a moment before looking around.

I tried to change the subject, briefly remembering my silent promise to try to get along with Squall. After all, if we didn't focus mainly on the mission, we would be lost in time forever, apparently. "So…now we have to find the portals, and Ultimica's castle is supposedly somewhere we've all been before, right?"

He shrugged as if he didn't care. "I guess so."

It really wasn't helpful. "Okay, well…let's go…um…left."

"_Left_?" He asked incredulously.

"Do _you_ have a compass stashed in your pants? Can _you_ see the sun through all this snow? If _you_ can tell me which exact direction left is, you deserve a fucking gold medal!" I kind of regretted it as his eyes narrowed, proving that I was just pissing him off further. I knew eventually he would yell at me, but I figured he still had some patience left-that was good enough to try and smooth things over. "I don't know about you, but I'm no boy scout. I say we pick a direction and start walking. It's better than standing here freezing our balls off. If you've got a better idea, I'd love to hear it."

Obviously not having one, he turned and stalked off in the direction I had indicated as 'Left'.

It pleased me somewhat and I jogged to catch up. "So…what do you think these portals look like? Are they invisible? How will we know when we see them?" I crossed my arms to try and keep what little body heat I had left. _Maybe we should hug and walk sideways like crabs. There's no one to see it up here, what do you say?_

"How the fuck should _I _know?!" He spat, beyond annoyed with my simple, honest questions.

I quirked a brow. "Sor-_ry_. Hyne, what's your pro-…" I trailed off, silently cursing myself for making such a stupid little promise. It was so much easier to just piss him off, get smacked around, and move on. I hated walking on egg shells like he was some PMSing woman with a migraine that no medicine could suppress. I let out a loud sigh. "You know what? Never-fucking-mind. You can keep sulking and if _I_ see some kind of portal, I'll let you know." _I thought you said…that we had to resolve to be more careful. That we had to try and tolerate each other so that we could avoid mistakes. Why…does it feel like I'm the only one trying?_

"I'm _not_ sulking!"

I twitched, getting annoyed. When I was _really _determined, I could summon up all the patience in world, but he was really pushing it. "Call it whatever the hell you want! You obviously have no interest in helping me! Last time I checked, we were here for a purpose. I don't know about you, but I hate this weather, and I'd like to go home."

"…" For some reason, he looked elsewhere and chose not to say anything more on it. "…just look for anything out of place."

_Yes, sir!_ I mentally patted myself on the back for having the sense to keep that remark to myself, and we walked on. And on. And on.

* * *

Quite some time had passed and my hands, though gloved, were starting to sting with the cold. My legs were numb. I pulled my thin coat tightly around myself. "H-Have you seen anything yet…?"

"No…" Squall had zipped his coat up, the lucky bastard. All he was missing was a hood and he would be set. "You?"

"Nope…" I was getting really sick of the scenery. "Hey, um…don't hit me, but why are you here, anyway?" I didn't think I could take a crack to the face right now. Sure, a good fight would probably warm us up, but on the other hand…it felt like any hit would probably shatter me into a million icy pieces.

He glared off at nothing, obviously offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well…" I tried to determine if I should just drop it. _Is it worth asking about at this particular moment?_ I quickly decided that he'd had more than enough time to settle down from before. "You said that you don't want people depending on you. So I was just wondering…why you keep going along with all of this."

"We didn't really have a choice…"

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. Maybe you're used to following ever order given, but I got news for you: there's _always_ a choice."

Squall shrugged casually. "Someone had to do it."

"That's right. _Someone_ had to do it. And who's to say that it couldn't have been someone _else_? Honestly, if you hadn't been so keen on going, I would have wished the headmaster luck finding some other idiot who's cool with going into space and into the future. Do you know how ridiculous this is? Well, maybe we can charge people, just to tell them to buy their jackets now, because the future is really fucking cold."

"Do you have a point, or are you just rambling in a lame attempt to keep your face warm?"

"Shut up! I _do_ have a point!"

"Then get to it already!"

"I'm _trying_ to! God damn! Shut your pie hole and pay attention!" I tried to cross my arms while still holding my coat closed. "When I was talking about going by myself, you said that I wasn't that self-sacrificing…and I'm not. Because what I wanted…was to save _you_. And, in some round about way, that's probably really selfish. I couldn't give two shits about saving the planet or securing the future of Garden or keeping people safe. I want to make sure that you have a future and I want to live to see my next few birthdays…but die before my 40th, because I refuse to get old and ugly…"

He covered his face with a hand, probably in total denial of actually being here right now, listening to this.

"Erm, the point is…it doesn't matter who's depending on us or what they expect from us. We're doing this…for ourselves and each other. We'll do our best because we _want_ to. When I'm putting my life on the line to kill Ultimica…I won't be thinking about anything but us. I'm sure as hell not doing this for Cid or a bunch of snotty kids. Fuck them." I waved it off as if the man's existence was the most irrelevant thing in the universe. _Which reminds me: there's something really fishy about him. And all of this. There's something I'm forgetting, damn it…I'll figure it out eventually._ "If I died here…would you finish the mission and go back?" _If we die here in the future…do we die in the present?_

He didn't seem to think about it for very long. "…of course. It's my…responsibility. Maybe you're fine with blowing everything off in favor of doing what you want, but people are depending on us. This probably never would have come about if you hadn't rushed off to try and kill your step mother. That's what started this whole thing. It was your own stupidity that brought you here, so don't start complaining about it now."

It…hurt. It may be weak, but I knew that if he died, I'd just lay down and let it happen. Sure, most people would say that that's crazy-that there's always something to live for…but I couldn't imagine living out the rest of my days without him. Simply getting revenge would never be enough. _But it sounds like you could definitely live without __**me**__. I guess I shouldn't be surprised…you've always had that attitude. You've never…needed me. Responsibility…would never be enough to drive me to risk my life. Maybe that's selfish, but…it feels pointless if I don't believe in the cause. My mother…took abuse everyday and eventually gave her very life…because she believed in protecting me above all else. Because…being able to provide everything I needed was more important to her than her own safety. It wasn't just responsibility as a parent…my father, although technically responsible for me, would never take a bullet for me. But my mother would have. They both had responsibility for me, but the driving forces behind it were entirely different. _"So you're saying…" _That…you don't really-_

_Smack!_

"Ow! What the fu…" I blinked and took a step back, having run into a solid…door? "…the hell?" I peeked around the other side, finding that it really was just a door standing out in the middle of no where. And a white one, at that, which blended right in with everything else.

Squall frowned. "Maybe this is a portal…"

"Really? So, if we go through the door…we'll probably end up somewhere else?"

"I guess so…"

"Thank Hyne!" Without wasting another second, I flung the door open and threw myself through it. Next thing I knew, there was a blinding light…and a burning heat. "Oh, what the fuck!" I put my arm up to shield my eyes and took a good look around. It was pure desert, stretching for miles with no end in sight. "You've gotta be kidding me…" I spun back around, prepared to go right back through the door, only to find that it was no longer there. "What?!" _Thanks for telling us that the portals are one way!_ I also realized that Squall was no longer with me. _Were we supposed to go through at the same time or something? Fuck…_ "Squall!" It seemed to echo for an eternity, but there was no answer. At length, I decided I better start looking for the next portal since it had taken so long last time. _I thought she said our spirits were transported or something…why did they have to take physical form? That's so damn stupid…I could die in this heat!_ _Let's see…what did she say to do if we got separated and lost…?_

After a short while, I heard fast approaching footsteps somewhere behind me. I whipped around in a slight panic, suddenly realizing that we were weaponless. At the thought of Hyperion, some magical little sparkles appeared and the gunblade formed itself in my hands. _Cool!_

Thankfully, the footsteps belonged to none other than Squall, who looked like he'd been jogging for quite some time. Sweat was gathered on his forehead and he looked exhausted already as he came to a stop, panting.

_Man, he looks so hot! Just like when we're…_An evil grin spread across my face as I recalled his promise for a night of fun when we returned. And just like that, I felt like a million gil. "You should have tried yelling. I would have heard you eventually."

He glared up at me. "Whatever."

"Hey, look!" I held up Hyperion.

He did seem slightly surprised, and I felt a little tingle of pride knowing that I had discovered it first. "Where did you find it?"

"I _didn't_ find it. It found me, I guess. I just thought about it and it appeared in my hands with magic and rainbows."

Squall quirked a brow. "…right."

My smirk dropped. "What, you don't believe me? Try it!"

"I don't need it right now, do I? And frankly, I don't want to carry it around this fucking desert. So I'll wait, thanks."

_Shit, he has a point. Just the thought of carrying this heavy thing around for hours is enough to-_ And with the same sparkle, it was gone. I blinked once, then looked to Squall, but of course, he had turned away already, looking around to see if he could spot the next door. I was pretty disappointed that he had missed it again.

"You're lucky I was thinking about following you when I went through the door, or we might've ended up in different places. Next time, don't be in such a fucking hurry, you idiot." He took off his jacket and draped it over his head, effectively cooling him off and shading his delicate pale skin at the same time.

It seemed like a good idea, and I followed suit, stuffing my gloves in my pocket. "What the hell are you talking about? I thought we'll only get lost if we don't think about the mission."

"Were you thinking about the _mission_ when you dove through the door?" He turned to face me, looking quite annoyed again. But, somehow, the jacket on his head made him look ridiculous, and I assumed I looked much the same.

After trying to suppress it for a moment, I burst out laughing. It didn't last long, though.

_Crack!_

"Ow! Fuck!" I grabbed my shin, dancing around on one foot in pain for a minute.

"This isn't funny, you dolt! Do you realize what you've done?"

"I realize that you just fucking _kicked_ me! Bastard!"

He stopped holding his jacket up so he could cross his arms in disapproval. "I should have known that you wouldn't have listened to a word she said. You never take anything seriously!"

"I-"

"It seems obvious to me that she meant everything literally. You were thinking about a warmer climate when you entered the portal, so you landed us in the fucking desert! Next time, we have to think about _Ultimica_ so that we'll, _hopefully_, end up at her castle." That said, he stalked off in a random direction that took him…well, anywhere away from me.

I unhappily followed. "Oh, so this is _my_ fault?"

He sighed, as if it were obvious and I had decided to ask just to be annoying.

"I'm telling you, this whole situation is suspicious as fu-" I paused suddenly as I felt a dip in the ground. It was solid, yet not solid. And _creaky_. I turned to let the grumpy brunet know, but he had continued walking, ignoring me. "Hey!"

He turned and glared back at me. "What?"

"There's something under the ground here…" I stepped to the side of it and started digging. The hot sand burned like a bitch and I put my gloves back on.

While I imagine Squall was thinking that this was _not_ the time for treasure hunting, his curiosity got the best of him and he knelt down across from me to help.

After a few inches of sand, my fingers struck something hard. It was brown wood, much the color of the sand on top of it. _It would be kind of stupid if we found treasure…that's __**way**__ too cliché. _Still, I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "Think if we stuffed our pockets full of gil that it'd still be there when we got back?"

Squall stopped mid-dig and clenched his fist, crushing the sand in the palm of his glove as if it were my bones. "No."

"Really? That bites. Stiiiill, it wouldn't hurt to-"

_Whack!_

"Ow!" I was now flat on my back, holding my face. _I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…_

"You're always finding new ways to prove how stupid you are, but this really takes the fucking cake! You'd better tell me that we didn't seriously stop here to dig for…treasure…?" He bent down, clearly examining something.

I sat up cautiously. "…what is it?"

"It's not money, if that's what you're hoping for."

"Damn. So…?"

"It's…a door knob." He jiggled the handle before standing and changing position so that he wasn't standing on the door that was hopefully attached to it. After a moment, he stared at me. "…do you mind? Move your ass!"

_I'm __**not**__ fat! _I crossed my arms. "What, now you're giving me orders? _I_ found this one, you _hit _me, and now you're giving me shit about it? Let's see if your little girly arms can-" I quickly rolled to the side to avoid his boot smacking my already abused face. And just like that, I was off the door. _Cheapskate._

With a bit of effort, Squall was able to open the door enough to let the sand slide off. He opened it fully and we stared into the darkness.

"So…we have to jump down there? What if we end up in the sky somewhere?" It wasn't a pleasant thought_._

He shrugged. "Then I guess our legs will be broken."

"Don't say that so casually-

"Do you want to stay here and see if we die from this heat instead?"

I didn't even have to think about it. "Hell no."

"Think of _Ultimica _and the _mission_ this time. If you get lost, that's your problem. I'll finish the mission myself and go home without you."

I crossed my arms and gave him my best glare. "Is that some kind of a threat? If I'm not mistaken, she said we're connected. We have to go out the same way we came in-together. If I get lost, you can't leave until you find me. How 'bout _them_ apples, princess?"

I barely blocked the hit that followed. "For the love of Hyne, are you done hitting me for today?! Can we do this and go home, please? God damn."

He just stared. "Are _you_ done pissing me off for today? How can we do this if you keep being such a fucking moron?!"

I frowned, realizing that he was right. If he kept getting pissed at me, there was a good chance that something bad would happen. Ellone has warned us not to fight. I briefly wondered what would happen if we did get into a full-fledged fight. Would we become lost? Would we ever be able to return? Any number of possibilities existed…none of them good."I'm…sorry." I mumbled.

It was easily heard in the silence of the desert and he sighed. "Whatever. Let's just do this."

Then something occurred to me and I looked around. "Hey…have you noticed that there's like…nothing, no matter where we go? No people, no wildlife…not even monsters."

He looked toward the sky, as if he might catch a glimpse of a bird somewhere. "…well, we're in the future, right? And in this future…Ultimica rules over the world. I can't imagine her sitting outside her castle bird watching, so I assume she's…rid the world of everything. If there are any people, they're probably her slaves. So I guess the theory is that, if we kill her now, she won't exist in any other time…"

"Yeah, but…" I scratched the back of my head, confused. "Isn't that logic a little flawed? I mean…we traveled to the future to kill her, but we traveled all the way to the point where she already owns this world, right? But then, as real time progresses when we return to the present…she won't die until we arrive-from the present-to this point in time where our past selves will show up and kill her…right? Wouldn't it have made more sense to travel to the point where she was created or when she first started trouble? Like this…won't she still win?"

Squall seemed a little surprised before looking down at the door and giving a small smile. "I guess so…assuming that she didn't travel to this time just as we did. I think that's what Ellone believes…that Ultimica used her sorceress powers to travel to the future."

It was kind of…frightening-not that I'd ever admit it. "So then…any sorceress can do that? Travel through time? Maybe…Marnia wasn't from our time, either. What if there were a lot of sorceresses way back and they're all slowly traveling to the future before they're burned at the stake or something?"

"Doesn't matter." He shrugged. "However many there are…if they come, we'll be waiting. Because…it's our responsibility…"

_There he goes again. No wonder he hates people depending on him. He's trying to hold the entire world up all by himself…_

"And…" He continued. "…because we _want_ to."

That caught my attention. _So…you…_

"Let's do this. Pondering what will come next is pointless…we need to keep moving forward." He frowned slightly, staring into the darkness beyond the door. "And never look back."

_But…the past…_ I knew he was right. The past was important for us to remember at the time, but only at that time. Through the past or not, we were tied together-connected-and nothing would change that now. _The past is past I guess…and the future is what's in danger now. I've held onto thoughts of my mom and Rei…but maybe what they'd really want right now…is for me to move on. They'll always be there, in the back of my mind…pushing me to do what I think is best, but…they wouldn't want to burden me. They wouldn't want…their deaths to be in vain. _I nodded. "…who's going first?"

"You scared?" He quirked a brow as if he really thought so.

"Pfft, as if." It wasn't quite true. The thought of ending up in the sky somewhere and breaking my legs, if not _dying_, wasn't very appealing. What if there was another door somewhere else, and we weren't supposed to discover this one? What if this was the wrong door? Could there be a wrong door? _I'm driving myself crazy. Shut up, Seifer!_ "I'll go first." I automatically volunteered.

He shrugged. "Go ahead."

I stepped forward and his hand shot out to stop me, grabbing my vest, since my jacket was being carried under my arm. "…don't forget to think about Ultimica and the mission. Don't…get lost."

A small smile wormed its way onto my face. "Aw, you can be so sweet when you try." I nabbed his lips in a quick kiss, then jumped through the portal before he could be mad about it. _Ultimica…you tried to use me to kill Squall, and then he almost killed me because of it. I'd say that I'll never forgive you, but that's not nearly enough. You'll pay for all of our pain…with your __**life**__. _

There was nothing but darkness…and then I could feel the pitter patter of rain on my back. I slowly stood and dusted myself off, hoping I wasn't totally full of mud. I picked up my coat and slipped it back on. I was colder, but not like in the mountains. Just slightly chilly. It was nearly pitch black, and the only way to really see was when the lightning illuminated everything. I seemed to be in a forest, and I was a little disappointed. _No castle, no Squall…what the fuck. I thought as long as you think about what you're supposed to do, you won't get lost…am I lost?_ The next burst of lightning revealed a clearing and I decided to head for it.

The large field had a moat, a bridge and, as I looked up, a castle. It looked like no castle I'd ever seen before. The slabs of stone were nearly black, while towers that should have been straight were curved and twisted. The roof was pointy and, like the draw bridge, blood red. I thought I could make out shapes impaled on the spiky roof, but I decided against trying to get a better look.

The bridge was down, indicating that she was, in fact, expecting visitors. I looked around once more for any sign of Squall. Against my better judgment, I proceeded inside. There was nothing but an empty room with a dirt floor that was muddy from the rain. I snickered. "This is the best you can do with all the money and servants in the world? Pitiful." In the center of the wall ahead was a rusty metal door with a broken handle. I cautiously pushed it open. Darkness.

_I don't know about this…_ I hesitantly stepped inside and suddenly the door and walls fell away, bright lights illuminating…hundreds of me? I quickly realized that they were just mirrors. "What the fuck is this, a carnival? Lame, lame…" The door I had come through was definitely gone and I started going around, looking for an exit, but couldn't really find one. My reflection looked tired and sweaty, and I was sick of looking at it. I tried kicking out a mirror, but it was made of some kind of unbreakable plexiglas. I left a muddy footprint, and that was good enough for me. I briefly wondered how thick these mirrors had to be as I leaned against one lazily…and fell right through it.

It had shattered into a million pieces as I hit the ground, feeling a sharp pain in my left arm. Upon closer inspection, I found a nasty three inch long piece of glass stuck in my skin. I took hold of it and cringed before closing my eyes and ripping it out "Fuckingsonofabitch!" I sighed. "Another cut…Squall had this made for me, you asshole!" The mirror I had come from was gone and I realized that when I had opened my eyes…I was in an open field. The sun was shining, and birds were singing. _What the hell is this…? This can't be real. Stop fucking with me so I can kill you already!_

There seemed to be a whole lot of nothing in every direction. The only interruption in this endless plain was a single tree. But something was funny about it. I squinted into the bright light and could see…a _person_ sitting under it? And not just any person. "Squall!" I sprinted for the tree as fast as I could, slowing about five feet short. _Wait a minute…what's he doing here, anyway?_ "…Squall?"

He looked up at me, seemingly relieved. "So you're here, too?"

I quirked a brow. "I entered the castle first…I think. How did you get here before me?"

"What are you talking about? I've been wandering this place for hours."

"Hours?" I stepped a little closer, cautiously. _It's not like Squall to give up._

He gestured out to nothing. "There's no end."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Is that so?"

"Do _you_ see anything around here? If you want to try running as far as you can, go right ahead." He stood, which made me a little nervous.

It didn't feel right. Not at all. "Maybe I _will._" I looked up into the tree to see if I could actually spot any birds to be doing the singing that sounded so close. Instead, I caught sight of something bright red. "Hey…do you see that?"

"What?" Squall looked up.

"The red…thing." I eyed the tree warily. It didn't look very climbable. "Okay, here's what we're going to do. You're going to stand on my shoulders and grab those branches, then climb up there and get it."

"Okay…"

I kept a straight face, but I was grinning maliciously inside. _I've got you. Squall never would have agreed to that so easily. But, if I pretend to trust you for now, I can at least use you._ I knelt down and waited while he tried to climb up onto my shoulders, using the trunk of the tree for balance. He felt heavier than he normally did, and his boots dug into my shoulder. Pain shot through my left arm and I growled.

"…is something wrong?"

"…no. Hurry up."

"Okay…" I slowly stood and after a few minutes screwing around he was able to reach a thick branch. He grabbed onto it and pulled himself up with, what seemed like, more difficulty than he should have had.

_But then again, you're not Squall. _"Do you see it? That red thing?"

"Yeah…I see it." With the aid of a few more stable branches he was able to reach it. It seemed to be a cloth of some sort and he untied it from its twig before climbing to the lowest branch and dropping down awkwardly.

_Squall's graceful in everything he does. What a cheap imitation._ "So what is it? Let me see." I snatched it from his fingers and opened it up. He crossed his arms and frowned, but said nothing. There was a key wrapped in it. "A key…so there must be a door..." I dropped the red cloth to the ground, thinking nothing of it. In an instant, it became a bright red door that seemed to grow out of the ground. "…around here." Not daring to turn my back to him, I stood off to the side and unlocked the door. It was the first ever to have a lock on it. "After you, princess."

He frowned again. "Why me?"

"You scared?" I tried.

"No." He took the bait, answering confidently, just as I had hoped, and opened the door, walking through it without another thought.

I followed behind him through a dimly lit hallway that appeared to be part of the actual castle again. Thinking of Hyperion, it appeared in my hands and I held the point to his back. "Don't move."

He shot forward and whipped around, wide-eyed. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Thanks for your help, but that's enough of this, don't you think?" _I'm…not so easily fooled. Not anymore!_

"What are you talking about…?" He looked kind of scared…and it was pathetic.

_Squall isn't scared of anything, least of all me._ He'd summon his gunblade and take me on, probably thinking _I_ was the fraud. _Last time I revealed you, you gave it up and showed yourself._ "The game's up Ultimica! I've come to kill you, just like I promised."

"I'm _not_ Ultimica!" I advanced slightly and he ran for it.

I chased him around the corner and through another rusty metal door, much like the first one I had seen in the castle. This door appeared to be normal and lead into another room. The smell of rotting flesh was almost enough to make you pass out, and I got goose bumps as I looked around. Body parts were everywhere, obviously decaying. In the middle of the room appeared to be a swimming pool…of sticky, red blood. I tried my hardest not to gag. On the other end of the room were two hallways. I hadn't seen where he had gone, but the footsteps seemed to be coming from the one on the right. Making a quick decision, I tried to follow him and the ground disappeared from beneath my feet. Falling towards an uncertain fate-most likely death-I managed to twist myself around and nab the edge, sacrificing Hyperion in the process. It hadn't been a pleasant movement and my offended back burned in retaliation. I clenched my teeth and tried to pull myself up slowly.

Once on the solid floor again, I gave myself a moment to recover. _I hope I can just summon Hyperion again._ _Did he go the other way, then? Why run? Why not just what reveal what you are, like last time? _It was kind of disturbing. I knew I wasn't making a mistake, since Squall would never run like a coward, especially from me. But if Ultimica was all-powerful in this world, why not face me? It didn't make any sense. Getting to my feet again, I tried the left and proceeded with a little more caution. It opened up into what looked like some kind of large throne room. The chair was there, but no one was sitting in it-further proof that this Squall was Ultimica in disguise, if you ask me.

I heard footsteps off to the side and I turned quickly, only to come face to face with…myself. "Well, that's helpful. I know who you are for sure now." My gun blade was in my hand without a second thought and I took all of two steps before a voice stopped me.

"Seifer!"

We both turned and answered "Squall?"

He stopped dead in his tracks and blinked before frowning, looking between the two of us. He was carrying his gunblade, and I wondered what kinds of strange things he had faced to make it here.

I pointed at the imposter. "Don't just say his name like you know him, asshole!"

He pointed right back at me. "Same for you, dipshit!"

I noted that he looked a bit cleaner than I did, and seemed to have far more energy. I wondered which one Squall thought was the fake. "I'll have you know, I know Squall better than anyone."

"Bullshit!"

"Oh yeah? When's his birthday?" I pulled it out of my ass.

He frowned. "…I don't know." He admitted.

"Damn. Neither do I. Well, that didn't work." We had kind of silently agreed not to celebrate each other's birthdays. Squall didn't like the attention and he didn't care to give it, either. "Look, bitch…I know you're the imposter here, and I bet Squall knows it, too. So why not just give it up?"

He looked toward the brunet and asked. "Who's the imposter, Squall?"

Squall looked between the two of us, brooding it over. He was probably thinking to himself how stupid it all was.

I tried to think of something-anything-that could help my case. "Oh! Look at this!" I showed him the cut on my left arm before scowling at Ultimica. "Bet you couldn't imitate _that_, could you?" He revealed his left arm to look much the same and I gaped at it for a moment.

"You." Squall pointed at the fake. "Come here."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. "What? No! You idiot! That's the imposter!"

Squall said nothing and it really made me wonder. When the other me was about three feet from him, he put out a gloved hand. "Stop." When the fake complied, Squall approached him from the side, getting too close for my comfort, seemingly examining his shoulder. In a split second, Squall's gunblade had pierced Ultimica's middle. Her illusion melted away to reveal her ugly form. It was clown-like, much as Adel was. Yet she was taller and more sinister looking. The blade removed just as quickly, she backed up and cast a curaga on herself, repairing the damage with ease.

I took my place by Squall's side, ready for our final fight. But I couldn't help but wonder. "…how did you know?"

He glanced at me before training his eyes on Ultimica. "I fixed your coat, remember? I know my own work."

I was relieved that he was so intelligent-it made my job much easier. _Thank Hyne for you, Squall. Seriously._ At that moment, Ultimica let out an ear-piercing scream. I kind of hoped she would just fall over and die after that, but no such luck. Instead, hordes of partially decayed humans began flooding the room from all exits. Squall and I stood back to back as they surrounded us. "…well, this is where all the people went."

"This is no time for jokes, you idiot!" He scolded, a slight note of panic in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah. They don't look so tough." But I knew: it wasn't about them being tough…it was their number. Several hundred to two was hardly fair. "Ready?"

"Always."

I smirked at his confidence, wondering where he had managed to get it from. Without another moment's hesitation, we attacked.


	36. Chapter 36

Hey, everyone. It's been a really long time. I'll be brief, so as not to bore you. A lot's been going on for my family, which isn't an excuse, as I've already mentioned in my profile that I'm on a kind of hiatus. That is to say, I'm still writing, but am not promising anything concerning the time it'll take. For me-related things, such as what's going on to make this semi-hiatus happen, read 03-15-12 on my profile.

This chapter was really hard for me to put together. I don't really know why. I started it a long while ago, then stopped for a long time. Then I started on it again a couple weeks ago by reading the whole story over again(which is more than 200 pages) and was able to produce this chapter. It's not the most exciting chapter, but you do get to learn a lot about Squall. The next chapter will be the exciting one, which will be their face off with Ultimecia. Hey, how come you guys kept letting me spell it wrong all this time? I never bothered to look it up and just spelled it however I wanted…till recently, when I was like 'Gee, I should look that up.' And although I could have sworn someone told me that the futuristic city was spelled Ester, it is, in fact, Esthar. Anyway, I can't easily correct it on here, but I corrected it in my original, at least.

This chapter is dedicated to all of you who have been waiting so patiently and also to Squall, crys, and whitecat, who left no way for me to reply to them. Speaking of, review replies will be sent soon(from reviews you guys sent the last time I updated, which was…2009? That's kind of sad…). Maybe tomorrow after work. We'll see.

* * *

**~!~!~!~**

**Chapter 36**

**~!~!~!~**

I started off with a firaga, setting at least a dozen of them ablaze. "Oh, what the fuck." I could only stare in amazement as they still slowly came for me, even with chunks of burning flesh falling from their bones. It smelled pretty rancid, and that ruled fire magic out for me. With a flick of my wrist, Hyperion removed several heads and their rotting bodies hit the grimy floor. I figured I'd turn a little and give Squall a head's up-no pun intended. "Hey, apparently, if you sever the…um…"

He was busy not listening to me as he flew through the horde, taking down dozens that did not get back up. It turned out that their being mostly decayed worked out well for ripping them apart.

Seeing that he certainly didn't need _my_ help, I turned back to what I was doing, only to come face to face with one of the female zombies. It opened its mouth, probably preparing to sink its teeth into the pristine meat primly located on my neck and spewing some really foul breath. "Ugh!" I kicked it as hard as I could and it flew backwards, knocking several others down in its wake. "I don't appreciate that kind of close proximity on the first date."

"Will you stop screwing around?" Came an annoyed voice from not-so-far away.

"Oh, relax." I felt a yawn coming on as I decapitated the next one. Why was I getting so sleepy? "It's not like they're exactly swift or anything."

He slit a zombie in half and I looked away as what was left of its intestines fell out. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing you'd like burned into your memory for the next few weeks. "I could say the same for you. You've been slowing down ever since this fight started."

"Yeah…" I agreed, nodding with a yawn. There weren't many left; maybe two dozen. Still, my gunblade felt heavier with each swing. _I can…make it…_ "Yeah…I dunno…what my problem is…"

"Hey!" He whacked the back of my head and I almost fell forward. "Are you seriously falling asleep? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Woah! What the fuck…" I righted myself as best I could, trying to keep my balance, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Two more zombies down, just a few more to go, but my vision was getting blurry. "Room's…spinnin'…"

"What?" Squall sounded concerned, though I couldn't see his face very well. He took care of the last of the zombies faster than I thought possible before coming back to my side.

I dropped down to my knees, using Hyperion for support. "Maybe that bitch…cast somethin'…on me…"

"Bitch…?" Then it dawned on him and he spun around. "Shit! Where did she go?" He paused as if in thought. "…she could have tried to finish us while we were distracted, but she escaped…?"

I tried to comprehend it. _Escape…? How does that make sense…?_ _Where do you go in a future world so bare and devoid of life? In a world like this, you can run all you want…but you can't hide._ "So…she's gone?"

"…looks like it." Squall came back and cast something on me, but nothing happened. "It doesn't seem like she got you with any magic. I don't get it…hey, can you still hear me?"

I sunk to the ground and my eyes slipped closed. They had felt so heavy, it was almost a relief. How much easier was it to just slip into darkness than to struggle to stay aware? "Not really…"

The last thing I heard was a soft voice. "Shit. I'm…kind of dizzy…all of a sudden…"

* * *

I awoke in a field of tall grass and sat up in a panic, only to get a rush to my head. I collapsed again and took it all in. The sun was shining, birds were chirping happily, and the warm summer breeze told me that I could relax; that all was right in the world.

_Wait one god damn minute! That's __**not**__ right! We didn't defeat Ultimecia! We didn't make it home! Where's Squall? And where the fuck am __**I,**__ anyway?_ I sat up, panicked again. Just as I was about to call out for him, a different voice interrupted me.

"Squaaaall! Squally! Where did you go? Matron sent me to find you…please come out!" A girl in a white summer dress came into view as she climbed up to the hilltop where I now sat. As she approached me, I could swear she was familiar. _Oh, duh._ "Ellone?" _No one else calls Squall 'Squally'. Well, except Rinoa. Which, by the way, is just about the gayest nickname __**ever**__._ She completely ignored me, looking left, then right and sighing. "C'mon, Squall…I know you're not very happy here, but…can't you just come out? You don't even have to play with us or anything! Just please stop trying to run away and making Matron worry…"

_Wait a second…what the hell is going on here, anyway?_ When she got right up to me, I realized that she was definitely not as tall as I remembered. Or old. _What the hell…?_ My suspicions were confirmed as she _passed through me_ like I didn't even exist. I looked whole to me. Everything else looked whole. I was still me: same age, same killer body and probably the same handsome face. So what was going on? The only thing I could think of was that I had to follow her and find Squall. Would he be the same? The grass moved as I touched it to get up. I plucked a blade and let it go, watching as it drifted off into the sky. Could she see the grass move? Was I like a ghost in this place? _Is this the…past?_ Suddenly, I happened to remember what the adult Ellone had told us before we had gone to the future in the first place.

"…_soon enough, you will both find yourselves exploring each other's painful pasts while you were apart."_

She wouldn't tell us why or how, but somehow, she said she knew. Could the past be rewritten? What would happen if I became Squall's very own ghost friend while he was at that orphanage? Or could I somehow go even further back and stop Marnia from killing our parents in the first place? What would happen then? _I look back on all the shit that's happened to me, and I feel kind of cheated. All these things have happened to us-painful things…and why? Because some psycho bitch sorceress decided to pick on us? Why us? We were just kids…what did we ever do? And that one little event…changed everything. It separated us, made us forget each other and we were both abandoned in one way or another. But even I know that…time is nothing to play with. As much as I wish none of this had ever happened, as much as I wish I could have saved us from all of this pain…I __**like**__ the way that Squall is now. I like the way that __**I**__ am now, too. The past is supposed to be past, something that you can't change, only reflect on. _It made me pretty sure that this reality wasn't something I could really fix or even impact in any way; I was just here to view it. To witness what Squall had gone through when I wasn't able to be there for him. The only question was: why?

"There you are!" Ellone stopped under a lone tree, snapping me out of my reverie.

"…" There was no answer and I came closer, anxious to see the object of my affections, even if he was at an age where I would be considered a pedophile.

"C'mon…let's go back, okay?" She coaxed.

"I'm _not_ goin' back." A cold voice answered, sounding a little hoarse and unused.

"Why not?"

"I…" Squall sat up, as cute a kid as I remembered him, and turned away from her, rubbing the almost fully healed scar on the bridge of his nose. "…I have ta find someone."

She moved to be in front of him and kneeled down, acting like a big adult trying to solve the problem, but she really wasn't that many years older; maybe five or so. "Who's that?"

"…I don't 'member." He mumbled. Clearly, Marnia's magic had been stronger on me than it had on Squall. At least he knew he was looking for someone. I, on the other hand, didn't know _what_ I was searching for…and I ended up looking for it in all the wrong places. I'd tried just about everything before we met again, but none of it could fill the void left by Marnia's spell; nothing but Squall, himself.

"If you don't remember, then how will you know when you find 'im?"

"I'll just _know_. Now go away!" Had he known I was familiar when he first saw me? Or was that idea forgotten long before we met again?

"…you _do_ know that your house's somewhere across the _ocean_, right? That's what Matron told me. Far, far away."

His eyes narrowed dangerously and I half expected the little brat to tell her to fuck off. "_Shut up_! You don't know nothin' bout my home! I can find it by myself so just shut up!"

Beginning to realize the extent of his stubbornness, she changed tactics. "Fine then. Town's about five miles that way," She pointed off to the right, down a narrow dirt road. "Good luck. I hope you brought water. I'll tell Matron that you won't be back for dinner."

"_Good_." Squall snapped. "I don't want any stupid dinner!" He didn't have water. Or food. In fact, he had nothing with him at all. Was there any chance that he could make it to town? Did he have any clue how far five miles really was? Without hesitating a moment more, he started down the road she had indicated.

"Bye, Squall…" She just stood there, watching him as he got further and further away.

_Shit, is he really not going to give up and come back? Seriously?_ But if there was one thing I knew about Squall, he was serious in pretty much everything he ever did. Sighing lightly, I jogged to catch up with him, leaving Ellone behind.

Squall kicked a small rock over and over again as he walked. "Hmph! Stupid girl! Like I'd want ta go back…mom's cookin' was _way_ better than _that_ lady's…"

_Oh, I get it. This is how he got started with his little monologues…and eventually, you realized you had to make them __**inner**__ ones, so that no one could hear you. Thus, a near-mute was born._

He kept walking at a slow pace until the sun was setting. Finally, he turned around and looked back for the first time. You could still see the tall, once-functioning lighthouse, meaning that he hadn't gotten far. How long had it been? I couldn't tell if time was flowing normally or not.

"…I don't want ta be…by myself…" He sniffled and looked again to the rolling plains, where town should eventually appear. "I don't know how ta…cross the ocean…" Then his stomach growled loudly and he gave up completely. With a loud, exasperated sigh, he headed back towards the orphanage. It was both his salvation and his prison, much like the gardens had been for me. _Is Squall visiting __**my**__ past right now…?_ I kind of hoped not. My life before Balamb wasn't something I was exactly proud of. I partied hard and was a super slacker, flirting with every pretty face, failing every test…back then, none of it mattered. Garden was just somewhere to go to get away from my parents. I didn't care about passing anything or becoming a SeeD_…at least, not before I met…Rei…_

When he had made it back to the tree it was completely dark, but Ellone was waiting there for him with a lantern. "Did you forget something?" Her words snapped me out of my reverie and I crossed my arms in the cooling air. _If this is just the past that I'm viewing, why can I feel everything? The grass, the air…_

"Just leave me alone…" He trudged on past her, defeated, and she followed silently. She had waited there the entire time, knowing he would eventually give up and return. How many times had he tried it before?

When they entered the orphanage, the only adult, who I assumed to be this 'Matron' they spoke of, shot up from her seat and ran over, dropping to her knees and hugging them both. "Thank goodness! I'm so glad you're both safe! Thank you, Ellone…for bringing Squall back to us…I'm so glad…" She had long, dark hair and pale skin, though she wasn't exceptionally beautiful…still, she certainly could have found a decent husband. She had to be maybe thirty, at the most. _What the hell is she doing living out in the middle of no where, by herself, taking care of a bunch of homeless kids?_

Squall squirmed out of her grasp. "Lemme go! Leave me alone!" And with that he ran to, what I assumed was, his room.

"Squall Leonhart! You come back here this instant!" When he didn't, I wasn't the least bit surprised. _Nice try, lady._ She opened the door to another room, probably some kind of play room, and called the children for dinner.

In the meantime, I went to check on Squall. I opened the door and entered his room, but when I went to close it, I found that it was already closed, as if I had never touched it to begin with. _Weird. So I'm __**not**__ actually touching anything?_ Squall was curled up on his bed in the corner, on the far side of the room. There were six beds total, so I could only figure she had a lot of kids there. He was shaking like a leaf in the darkness, mumbling. I moved in closer so that I could hear him.

"Mommy…come back…please come back! I'll be good…I'll do everythin'…just come back…"

It was heartbreaking to see him suffering so much, and I only wished I could do something to ease his pain. _But what? It doesn't seem like I can touch anything…_ As an experiment, I decided to prey upon an ugly yellow vase containing red wildflowers. I only hesitated a moment before knocking it to the floor. _Crash!_ It shattered into a million pieces, scattering water and flowers everywhere. I quickly looked up to see Squall's reaction…except that he had none. I glanced back down and had to do a double take. _What the hell!_ The vase wasn't smashed at all, but sitting right on the nightstand like nothing had happened to it. _…well, that's that, I guess. I can't do anything in this world._ With a sigh, I sat down next to him, feeling rather powerless. Being unable to save him, protect him…I didn't like it at all. _Why did you have to get stuck here? I don't understand…_ Although I knew nothing would happen, I reached out to him, wiping away one of his many tears.

"M-Mommy? Is…is that you, mommy?"

_What?_

"…you're there…right? Please…I don't wanna be here anymore! Can't we just go home…?"

For some reason, the tear did not replace itself and he had felt my touch. _Why?_ After that, I tried a bunch of things: poking, patting, talking…but nothing worked.

"…I guess…we can't go home, huh? Then…then I'm gonna get outta here! I'm gonna be a…a plant thing…at that garden place! And then I'm gonna go home! Then…we can go home…"

Had my trip to the past already technically happened? It seemed pretty clear that I couldn't alter it, yet I had been able to touch him. I already knew that this is where Squall stayed until he was 10. If he had been a couple years older and a little more determined, he could have run away. _Something made him stay here…it sounds like he doesn't plan to run anymore. Is that thanks to…me?_

Then there was a soft knock on the door and without waiting for an answer, Matron entered. "…are you okay, honey?"

"Don't call me that!" He sniffled, wiping away the rest of his tears so she wouldn't see. "I'm…fine."

_Ah, so even back then you were always hiding…saying you're fine when you're clearly not. It's okay to depend on others, even though I know you hate to. What are you afraid of? Being…let down? But I can understand that. I used to think that…there was no one else I __**could **__depend on, except myself. And then…I met you._

She didn't question the obvious and, instead, smiled kindly. "You're hungry, right? Why don't you come and eat? I made your favorite…I'd be sad if you missed it."

"…" He seemed to be thinking about it. Clearly, he was hungry. So what was stopping him?

"You know…" She came by the bed and I stood to avoid being sat on as she took my place. "It's okay to be angry. And it's okay to be sad, too. Your mother…was a great person, wasn't she?" At the mere mention of his mother, he burst into tears and she held him, stroking his soft hair gently. "I met her once, you know. Long ago, before you were born…that's why, when I heard what happened, I wanted you to come here. I wanted to take care of you, so your mother can be happy and rest peacefully. You don't want her to worry, do you?"

"N-No…"

"Let's try again, okay? You don't have to play with anyone or even talk to anyone if you don't want to. But please…don't run away anymore. You want to go to Garden, right? Let me take care of you until you're old enough. And then, I _promise_…I'll send you there. You can get a real gunblade and then become a SeeD…just trust me, okay?"

"…'kay."

I followed them to the dinner table where nearly half a dozen hungry children were chowing down. _Wait a second…these kids look awfully familiar… _And then time began swirling around me, the seconds passing like days. Squall grew a little taller and still he ignored everyone around him. He would sit out on the beach by himself, having long since grown bored of his life. Then time slowed again, seemingly at random. He appeared to be about seven years old now. Ellone also sat on the beach, a decent distance away from him. If he was seven, she was at least twelve. Then she brought her knees up to her chest and curled her arms around her legs tightly. She stared straight ahead for some time before her eyes slipped closed, as if she had fallen asleep. But somehow, I knew better. I knew…that she must be visiting Squall's past. It made me angry all over again as I plopped down next to Squall in the sand. _It's none of your fucking business!_

After what seemed like hours, the sun was beginning to set. Ellone suddenly broke out of her trance and fell over, completely exhausted. Still, she crawled her way across the beach to him. "Squall! Squall…I'm…I'm so sorry…"

He stared at her, rather stunned. After all, he left everyone alone and they had learned to leave him alone, too. They never bothered to ask him to play anymore. "…what for?"

"I know that I've…I've said a lot of things to you. And I've always been giving you a hard time. I wanted you to do good here and stay with us! But I didn't know…I didn't think about how you feel, and I'm really sorry."

He furrowed his brows in confusion and looked away. "…whatever."

"Please don't do that!" She latched onto his arm and wouldn't let go. "Please don't push me away! I know that you're sad…I know you miss your mom and your friend, but…please…"

"…let me go." His voice was cold as ice. "You don't know nothin' about me."

At a loss, she let go of the arm she had taken hostage. "…can I ask you something?"

He sighed. "What?"

"What was your mom's name…?"

Squall seemed to think about it for a long while; he probably hadn't even heard it many times before, with no father around to say it. "I think it was…Raine."

"…" She covered her face with her hands. "I knew it…I don't know how I knew her face, but I just knew…"

He tilted his head to the side, confused. "What do you mean?"

"When I was little, my mom disappeared. My daddy…he got really sick after that…and died. Then I came here. But he told me…to find my mom…to find Raine…"

I froze in place. _Are you shitting me?_ _They're…siblings?_ I took back every nasty thought I had ever had about the two of them being a couple. _Squall had only called her his friend…did he forget or something? Or did he just…not want me to know?_

"…I don't get it."

"It means that…I'm your half sister, Squall."

"Half?" He looked her over as if trying to decide which half of herself she was talking about.

"We have the same mom…just different daddies, I guess…"

If her father had died and their mutual mother had died, then what had happened to Squall's father? I had never seen him, but I was guessing that Ellone had. How else could she have known that their fathers were different? For all I knew, her mother could have left them when she was pregnant with Squall. But Ellone seemed too sure of it. No…she had definitely seen Squall's father and I made a mental note to ask her about it later. Why had the guy left? _What a jackass!_

"…I still don't get it." He scratched the back of his head. "So now I have to talk to you cause of that?"

She seemed defeated. "You don't…have to. But we're supposed to stick together and help each other. We're…family."

"Family…"

Time sped up again and I watched the seasons change as Squall and Ellone grew closer. He'd even play with the others occasionally, when she insisted. And then, one rainy spring day…

"…why are you packing? Are you running away?" Squall was now probably eight years old and getting to be quite a cute kid. His face had softened somewhat since he had spent less time brooding by himself.

"I've…been adopted, you know? Now I'll…have a mommy and daddy again."

"What?" He frowned. "But…you _had_ a dad…what are you talking about? You're…leaving with them?"

"I have to. I don't think you'll understand but…it's better this way. For you."

"No!" He latched onto her from the side, unwilling to let go. "You can't go…"

She sighed lightly, hugging him. "I know that…it probably doesn't look like it right now, but…this is a good thing. Squall, you have to believe me."

"How? How is this a good thing?" Tears began flowing down his face and he covered them with his hands. "I don't understand…" Then something seemed to dawn on him and he wiped his face with his sleeve. "Take me with you!"

"Squall, I-"

"You can take me with you! We're family, so I can just come with you and-"

"It's not that simple…"

"C'mon, if you just tell them, I bet-"

"They don't _want_ you!"

And then there was complete silence in the room. Time seemed to stand still as he stared at her, trying to process her cruel words. Then she snapped her suitcase shut and ran from the room.

Squall, trembling uncontrollably, slid to the floor and curled up as tightly as he could, sobbing like the day I had found him home alone after his mother's death. When car doors shut somewhere outside, Squall jumped to his feet and sprinted from the house, desperately trying to stop her from leaving him. But it was too late…the car was gone. Everyone just stood there under the awning, watching as he stood stone still on the dirt road in the rain.

Standing there, together, I could finally figure out who they really were. The blonde with glasses was Quistis, the brunette with really short hair was Selphie, the blond with poofy hair was Zell and the brunet with really long, unruly hair was Irvine. What were they all doing there? Were they all in Garden because…they didn't have anyone to go home to, either? It suddenly made sense to me why it had seemed like Squall had so many friends when I was away form him. That was why each of them had come to me on Squall's behalf…they were trying to help their old friend. Even if he had acted like he didn't care, he trusted them.

Zell stepped forward cautiously. "C'mon, Squall…let's go back inside…"

With a scream of rage and agony, the brunet flew at the poor blond, punching him right in the face. Despite his hair style, Zell was no chicken; he fought back hard.

Matron ran out into the rain, trying to stop them. "Squall! Stop this! Zell, please!" Finally, she got a hold of the blond's arm and pulled him away. "_Stop_!"

Squall laid in the mud, unmoving. "…" He seemed to be thinking, no, maybe he _really_ believed…that she'd left because of something he did.

"We're all going to miss her, but Ellone is _gone_ now. She went to go start a new life, just like you'll do when you go to Garden. You should be happy for her…" With that, she pulled the rest of the kids inside, probably ready to take care of Zell's split lip.

Squall laid there for what seemed like hours, the rain washing away all the blood from the small gash on the side of his face. Thankfully, it had never scarred. I didn't want him to remember this moment of his life like I wanted him to remember our childhood together.

After some time, he climbed to his feet, utterly defeated. "Sis…why?" Squall sniffled quietly. "I'll be okay…by myself…you'll see. I'm gonna go to Garden…and become a SeeD, just like…I promised I would. You said it was…important. And that…my important friend will be there. I wanna see 'im…I don't wanna be…alone…"

But Squall was left alone for many days after that, even by Matron, herself. She eventually forgave him, but the damage had already been done. He spoke to no one from that place again. Flowers bloomed, then summer winds returned before the leaves began to fall. The snow never stuck, always melting before it had a chance. And then spring came again…and Squall was nine years old.

It was easy to forget that Quistis was only a year older than us. She hugged everyone goodbye before turning to Squall, who stood apart from everyone else. She smiled at him. "See ya next year, right, Squall? Just you wait…I'm gonna be a SeeD, too!" He shrugged and she got into the waiting car. Quistis would go on to become a SeeD at only fifteen years old and then get her instructor license at seventeen. And then, when she was 18, I came into her class. _She always acts so old and wise, but…she's really not all that different from the rest of us._

I snuck a peek at the driver, who happened to be Cid, himself. _Since when do headmasters drive all the way out to boofoo to pick up homeless kids and take them to Gardens?_ Matron approached the window and he smiled warmly before kissing her. "Next year they'll all be old enough, right? Then you can come home to Garden with me. This'll work."

She merely nodded, but I knew I had just witnessed something important. Cid was married, wasn't he? Still married? Was this Matron person his wife? I couldn't recall if I had seen him wearing a ring or not. I had certainly never met her before. It gave me a bad feeling.

Another year passed by me and Squall hadn't changed one bit. He had withdrawn completely after Ellone left and had no intention of changing that. He had decided long ago that if you couldn't even trust your family…that you couldn't trust anyone at all. _No wonder you were so cold to me…_

This time, there were three separate cars. Squall and Zell would be going to Balamb Garden, Selphie to Trabia Garden and Irvine to Galbadia Garden. What was the purpose of splitting them up? Matron said that she'd pack her things and meet Cid at Garden…but I have a feeling she never came.

The years blurred as Squall got older, but I never saw the woman called Matron again. At twelve he was praised for his hard work and able to choose his weapon. He chose the gunblade and spent the following week with a master blacksmith, watching as his weapon was formed. He sketched the lion symbol for the blade, encouraged to customize it and make it his own. They used clay to make an impression of the silver lion chain he wore around his neck so they could hang one from the hilt. When it was finished, he thanked the master and swore he'd take perfect care of it. As far as I could tell, he really had. It was always spotless and gleaming. I could understand; I felt the same way about Hyperion.

Time finally slowed again, and by then Squall must have been at least sixteen. He looked just about the same as he had when I'd finally met him a year later. I followed him through the training center and it seemed rather empty, as if all the monsters had been locked up for the night. I recognized the path he took, which lead to the 'Secret Area', where kids hung out after hours to make out or whatever. I had never been there, myself, and it made me panic a little. Was he meeting Rinoa there? I hadn't seen her yet and was wondering when exactly her nasty ass would come into the picture.

Upon entering, Quistis greeted him. "Hey, you came."

Squall crossed his arms impatiently. "Yeah, I did. So what do you want?"

"Well…" She walked to the edge of the platform and rested her elbows on the railing. "I just wanted…to tell you something, before it's too late."

"Too late?"

She nodded. "Sometimes, things like this have a time limit."

"…" I couldn't help but notice that they were the only ones there. Had she chased everyone away? It didn't really seem likely, despite her hatred for delinquents like me. He stepped up beside her and waited a moment before answering. "…well?" _For being drop-dead sexy, you're pretty damn clueless._ I could see exactly what was going on, but then again, I doubted that he had ever been confessed to before. Well, except by me.

The blonde sighed lightly, as if to say 'Why are you being so difficult?'. "I wanted to tell you that…I like you, Squall. I've cared about you for a very long time…"

It didn't even phase him and he snickered. "And the 'time limit' refers to what? How long before you change your mind?"

"That's not it!" It was the first time I had ever heard Quistis sound so upset. "Ever since back then…why are you so cold?"

Instead of answering her question, he turned his back to her. "Whatever." But he was probably thinking 'Because I don't care.' Squall only took about two steps towards the exit before her words stopped him.

"Tomorrow…"

"…" The brunet rolled his stormy eyes and turned to face her.

"I'm getting my Instructor License tomorrow. So…even if you had accepted my feelings, we couldn't be together. You'll be in my class when the next semester begins, as my student, and teacher-student relationships are forbidden…"

"…then why tell me at all? It's pointless and changes nothing. You may as well have told it to a wall."

"It's _not_ pointless! I…" She hung her head in defeat. "I just wanted you to know…how I feel about you. I just wanted you to know that there is at least one person out there…who cares about you, even though you've stopped caring about anything. That you're not alone, even if you think you are…"

"I _want_ to be alone. I don't need you, or anyone else, to care about me. So stop wasting your time." He turned and walked away, pausing briefly at the exit. "…do yourself a favor and forget about me."

Then he was gone. "I'll never…forget about you…" And Quistis, seemingly always so strong and brave, broke down.

Squall stopped a few feet outside the door, able to hear her muffled sobs. He seemed to be thinking it over, wondering if he should go back and apologize. In a way, I hoped he would. She was an old friend and even if he didn't consider her one, she had been nothing but kind to him. It looked to me like she didn't even expect him to return her feelings since she planned to be an upstanding Instructor. Should he go…or stay? In the end…he walked away slowly, burning that bridge behind him.

In the following blurry days, she avoided him; who wouldn't? Once the new semester began, and every semester after that, she would treat him as she had always treated him: with kindness, as if he hadn't broken her heart that night. I suddenly found myself having a bit more respect for her than I had had before. _Anybody else, to be let down so cruelly…hell, I've done it to lots of people and they never spoke to me again. Seeing how it looks from the outside, as I am now…it makes me kind of hate myself. _For her to be so hurt by his assholeishness and still be perfectly kind to him in every way, until eventually forgiving him entirely…earned her a lot of points, in my book.

"Alright everyone. Settle down!" Quistis rapped her hand on the desk to get the quiet she was looking for. "This is our new student, Rinoa Heartilly. Please be kind to her and give her any assistance she might need." She looked around the room, scanning for an empty seat. Noting the only one in the room, she tried not to frown. "Why don't you sit next to…Squall. Squall! Raise your hand!"

The unhappy looking boy in the back of the room reluctantly did as he was asked. Rinoa practically skipped to the back of the room and sat beside him.

"I'm Quistis Trepe, the newest Instructor, but don't think that that means you can slack off in my class. My only three rules are that you follow directions, do your work, and remain respectful to everyone at all times. I have high expectations for this class of SeeD candidates. Please open the main menu of your desk panels and go to the textbook section…"

Rinoa seemed confused about the panel and just did as the boy next to her did. "What's your last name, Squall?"

"…Leonhart." I hadn't really expected him to answer such a frivolous question. It couldn't be…that he actually thought she was cute? I doubted it. He had never mentioned being physically attracted to her in any way when he had told me the story. I had to admit, it was weird seeing it happen first hand.

"_I was quiet back then…but I wasn't angry."_

She smiled at him kindly, in a way I had never actually seen from her before…almost like she was an entirely different person. "That's so great! It fits you perfectly!" When he made no comment, she added, "Because, this is a lion, isn't it?" She moved to touch the pendant around his neck, but he flinched at the contact and scooted away. She tilted her head to the side and watched him, most likely wondering why he acted the way he did. "It's special, huh?"

Squall nodded, and that was the end of that.

"_But Rinoa never let anything go."_

When lunch came, she easily found the lone figure sitting at the corner table, staring out the window. "Can I sit here?" At his shrug, she took it upon herself to sit across from him. Sadly, it kind of reminded me of the day I first sat across from him. He probably liked her as little as he had liked me. She picked at the food briefly, never actually trying it. "This food isn't very good, is it?" Another shrug from him, and she looked out the window, to see whatever could be so amazingly enticing that he would stare like that. However, all she saw were birds sitting in a tree. Some flew away and she took another stab at conversation. "It would be nice to be a bird, wouldn't it? You could fly away from here, go where ever you wanted to go…"

"Until you get shot down."

And then she said nothing for the rest of the period.

"_I thought she was too polite to just get up and leave right then, and that she would leave me alone from then on. But everyday she asked the same stupid questions. I finally got tired of hearing them…"_

Many days passed before me and she followed him around for every single one of them. She was persistent, I'd give her that. What bothered me was that she really didn't seem like she had any bad intentions. She was new and happened to get lucky enough to be sitting next to a super hot guy in class, so it didn't seem like she had actually purposely targeted him or anything like that. _So…what really happened?_

"Will you just _shut up_?"

She stared at him, looking hurt. "I-I didn't mean…"

"My mother died when I was little and all she left was this chain that, apparently, used to belong to my stupid father-whoever he was. Then I sat in some damn orphanage until I was old enough to be shipped off here, and that's _it_. So stop asking."

Most people would have been really turned off by his attitude, but she didn't seem angry at all. "It…must have been so lonely. My father and mother are rich, so I can't imagine…"

He scowled, getting annoyed. "I don't need your pity."

"I-I'm not trying to pity you! I'm…just trying to _understand _you. I want to be friends."

"_The rational part of me wanted me to tell her to take her idealistic views of friendship and shove them up her ass, but…she was the first person who ever tried. So the other part of me decided it was stupid to let a could-be friend slip through my fingers, since I may never have found any others…but I still didn't want to open up too much. Problem was, once she got her damn foot in the door, she wedged her way in, little by little. I Ended up telling her…everything."_

Months passed and although he seemed to be willing to let her hang around him, he still kept her at arm's length. Or tried. One day, she dragged him down to Balamb's beach. It reminded me of all his time on the shore by the orphanage and although he hadn't protested going there with her, I doubted that he enjoyed it much.

They sat in the sand quietly for some time before she spoke. _"_You know…you don't have to be afraid, Squall."

He growled, instantly irritated at the insinuation that the great Squall Leonhart could get scared. "I'm not afraid of anything."

She just giggled like he wasn't trying to stab her with his eyes. "Don't be silly. Everyone's afraid of something…and I think you're afraid of being alone. That's why you've been alone all this time, isn't it? If no one is around you, then you can't lose them. Right?" I was rather shocked at her decently intelligent observation. The Rinoa I knew was a complete bimbo. _Who the hell is this chick?_

"I…" Squall appeared equally surprised and struggled to form words he'd never had to speak before, but she continued before he could say anything at all.

"But you don't have to worry! We'll be friends forever…I'll never leave your side! I promise." She leaned in and kissed him, taking advantage of the romantic scenery. He was too stunned to respond at first, not able to believe that anyone could truly care about him. Then he kissed her back, to my displeasure. Normally, this would be the part where I mock gag and try to throw rocks at her, but…it made something inside of me hurt and I turned away from the sight, willing time to move quickly again.

"_Promises are cheap. Just because I let my guard down…just like that, she was my 'girlfriend'. But since I had told her everything there was to know, the mysterious Squall Leonhart was gone, just leaving this…boring idiot. I didn't want to do all those idiotic lovey-dovey bullshit things that you read in 99 cent paperback romance novels, like she did."_

And time _did_ move for me; I watched the following weeks with annoyance. She'd try to hold his hand, he'd pull away. She'd ask him on a date, he'd be 'busy'. She'd want to kiss in front of everyone, to show off their relationship, and he'd recoil. Not, unfortunately, because it disgusted him, but because he didn't like people watching him. It made her angry every time. And then I realized…that she may have been persistent, but she wasn't patient. She may have known a lot about him, but she didn't understand him at all. _She's __**female**__ and he doesn't want people to see them together…now I don't feel so bad._ It wasn't me that Squall was rejecting these days…it was my attempts at some degree of exhibitionism of our relationship. Squall was amazing and I had no problem letting everyone know that he was mine. _But it turns out…that that kind of thing is what he hates most. Why?_ Then it hit me: fear of total and complete rejection, from _everyone_. Whether people would actually give a shit about his relationships or not, staying under the radar like he had always done was safe, and that was what he preferred. And I…had never respected that.

Squall was sitting in his dorm, doing a whole lot of nothing. The latest Weapons Monthly(of that time) was spread out on his desk, like he had read it a hundred times over by now. He was relaxing on his bed, brooding as usual. When there was a knock on the door, he shot up but remained silent.

A strange voice came from behind it. "Mail call!"

Squall blinked once. Twice. He glanced upwards and mumbled. "It's not Friday…and I don't get mail…" Everything about it telling him it was a bad idea, he got up and opened the door anyway…and immediately regretted it.

"I knew it!" Rinoa pointed at him accusingly. "You were here the whole time! You didn't go to the dentist…" She shoved him aside and entered, looking around. "You weren't studying, writing, looking at porn…I don't get it! Why did you lie to me?"

"…Rinoa…" He sighed and closed the door before sitting down on the edge of the bed, probably trying to think up an excuse.

She sat beside him after a time. "Squall, how come you never want to do anything with me?"

"I never said-"

"You don't have to. You just never do anything. And to make it worse, you lie to my face every time."

"Well…" It was true and he couldn't deny it.

"Do you love me?"

"I…"

She didn't even wait for him to fully answer, not at all impressed with his hesitation. "I said, do you love me?" I didn't like how she was forcing him to say it, when I had so patiently waited for it. And when I wanted to hear it again, to be sure it was real, I had begged for it pathetically. Still, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe he had kind of done this to himself. Instead of easing into the relationship little by little, rejecting what he wasn't ready for, but trying new things sometimes, he just avoided everything. It was no surprise to me that it had ticked her off.

"Yes…"

"Then love me."

Squall stared for a moment. "…what?"

She produced a little black box and wrapped her octopus arms around him. "Make love to me, Squall. You never say it, I can never feel it…so show me."

It reminded me of how Squall had told me to show him how I felt and that…was our first time. But in the end, he confessed that he was hoping I'd fuck him and be done, that that was all I wanted and then I'd leave him alone. I couldn't help but wonder if he had taken Rinoa's selfish words and used them on me.

As clothes fell to the floor, I turned away, unable to take it. _Squall…_ I never wanted to see him with someone other than myself and I covered my ears as her soft moans began to reach me. I wanted to run far away…but this had already happened. The damage had already been done…and could never be undone.

When it was over, she held onto him under the covers. _"_Squall…when we're a little older…I want to marry you."

"…what?"

"I want to be with you forever…and make our promises real."

"Okay." His lack of hesitation hurt me and I had to remind myself that she was an evil bitch that he didn't love anymore.

"You want to? Promise?

"I promise." _And that's why…you hate promises. They're just words to you, easily broken and twisted into lies. _

"_After a couple weeks of screwing around with me all the time, she must have gotten bored again. She hired some stupid thug to kiss me. And that thug just happened to be Irvine. He'd do anything for a night with a pretty girl."_

I never saw her interaction with Irvine since I was following Squall. I could only guess that he had to be able to remember who the moody brunet was, but probably harbored no feelings of friendship for him anymore. "Squall, wait a minute. I've got a question for ya."

He narrowed grey eyes suspiciously and clearly couldn't remember this person. "What do you want?"

"Well, the thing is…" And then he caught a glimpse of Rinoa and made the move he'd be handsomely repaid for later. He grabbed the shorter teen and kissed him roughly.

Squall's brain was likely in overload, but he managed to push the cowboy away and wipe his mouth with his jacket sleeve. "What the fuck is your problem?"

He smirked and tipped his hat. "Don't shoot the messenger, pretty boy." And with that, he took off.

Squall was about to chase down the perverted douche bag when he spotted Rinoa, staring at him in horror with tears streaming down her face. It was a good act, I'll give her that. She ran and he followed, all the way back to his dorm.

"…I-I can't believe you cheated on me, Squall." She was wiping her fake tears away carefully so as not to smudge her makeup.

He was completely alarmed, in a way that I rarely ever saw. "I _didn't_! I don't even know who he was. And I pushed him away!"

Rinoa frowned suddenly, her voice cold as ice. "I'm sorry, I'm not buying your lies."

"I'm not lying!"

"Like all the other times you didn't really lie to me? I'm sorry, but this is goodbye, Squall."

"W-What? No…" He attempted to touch her shoulder, his first ever move of contact towards her, and she smacked his hand away.

"Sorry, but it just has to be done." She starting gathering her things into her bag to take back to her own dorm. I hated how she kept saying that she was sorry, when she clearly wasn't. "Your promises to me were all lies…I never should have believed you. This was just…a big mistake." I flinched a little, knowing how badly it can hurt to hear those words from the person you love. Squall had used them on me before and it had made me…so angry.

"Wait-Rin, please…"

"Rin?" She looked at him. "Now isn't the time to be making up pet names to call me, Squall. You never did love me, did you?"

"I did! I…do."

She smiled at him in a way that made your blood run cold. "It's okay…I understand."

"Y-You do…? So that means…" There was the tiniest hint of hope in his eyes, like maybe she believed him.

The smile stayed firmly in place. "I hate you, Squall."

He stared, bewildered; his hope crushed into a million pieces. "…what…?"

"I don't ever want to see you again, Squall. Not if I can help it. You never loved me and you never kept any of your promises. You were using me! And I want nothing to do with you anymore. Never again." She smiled still. "Goodbye, Squall." Having successfully ripped out his heart and stomped all over it, she walked out and shut the door behind her.

Squall slumped against the nearest wall and let the tears flow. I tried to remember a time when I had ever seen him cry harder than he did then…and came up empty handed.

I turned and tried to follow her, to find out exactly where she had gone at that point. But the further I strayed from Squall, the more blurry my vision became until I had to turn back. Clearly, anything other than watching him was off limits.

But what was her deal? _Maybe she just got bored. After all, nothing changed by sleeping with him. It didn't make him want to hold hands and cuddle. Was that what she was hoping it would do? Make them into a 'real' couple? And when it didn't work she gave up? _It didn't really make sense to me. When most people gave up, they simply broke up. But she wanted it to seem like something else…she wanted to make it seem like it was _his_ fault. She wanted him to blame himself and keep wanting her long after she was gone. _Somewhere along the line…you became quite the evil bitch, didn't you?_ If I had been able to follow her, I may have found out why. But I had to remind myself: _the 'why' doesn't matter now. She did what she did, she's doing what she's doing and eventually…she'll pay for it._

"_It took a long time to get my shit back together. But by then…I hated everything. I hated everyone. I wanted to die, and didn't care if I did, but couldn't do it to myself…just in case…she came back to me." "_

The next day, he had gone to class. Rinoa had apparently requested to be transferred to a different class and gotten her wish. He ignored everything and everyone, just living-no, existing. A week or so passed this way before Irvine approached him one day.

At first, the cowboy kept his distance. "I uh…don't kill me, okay? I just…want to explain…"

Squall scowled at him darkly. "Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it." But he only made it a few steps before Irvine's words stopped him dead in his tracks.

"She was using you!" He blurted out. "I…I mean…look, she paid me to kiss you, alright? Not with money, an'…well, I'm not tellin' you this cause of the orphanage or anythin'…"

"Orphanage…?" Then he could remember it. And, like me, he was probably wondering how exactly Irvine ended up in Balamb when he had been shipped out to Galbadia Garden all those years ago.

"But uh…truth is…well, she wasn't even a good lay. So I just thought that uh…ya know, man to man, I should tell you that she put me up to it so she could get rid of you. Dunno why, though. Didn't ask."

Squall glared at the floor, unbelieving. "…you're lying."

"I am? What the hell for?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a camera sized tape. "Here, your proof. I like to keep a uh…little memento from each of my girls. I figured you wouldn't want to believe me and, well, you don't have to watch it if you'd like to live in delusion…hell, I'd probably prefer that you didn't. It's…kind of embarrassing…" _Why the hell is this guy willing to do this for Squall? I wouldn't be perverted enough to keep sex tapes, but even if I was, I would never be stupid enough to give them to anyone, especially just to earn their forgiveness._

"…why?" Yet Squall took the tape from his hands.

"Suffice it to say that she's a skanky bitch and I feel like something of a dirt bag, myself. And…you shouldn't be hurting over this…you should be pissed. Next time you need me…I doubt you'll want me, but I'll be there. Later."

And Squall was left alone, holding the one thing that could turn everything around. He skipped the second part of class and borrowed a T.V. and tape player from an empty classroom. Returning to his dorm, he locked the door, turned the volume down very low and just sat there, staring at the fuzzy white screen. He was probably wondering…should he push play, or should he forget about it? Was it all a lie?

After a long hesitation, he hit play. The image of another dorm, not unlike his own, came into view. It was empty for a long time before the door opened and Irvine entered, followed by Rinoa.

"Not bad, but you could have left off the messenger part. What if he figures it out?"

"Who cares?"

"I do. I want him to be sad and miserable forever, just silently _begging_ me to return to him."

"So he'll be pissed instead. You don't want him anyway. Now…about my payment…"

"I was going to give you a half hour, but, since you disappointed me, you have fifteen minutes."

"We'd better get started, then…"

The scene that unfolded before me seemed more like a dream than something real that had happened. At first, Squall turned pale, looking like he would be sick. He fisted his hands in his hair, leaning far over and taking uneven, heaving breaths. For a moment, I thought he might pass out.

"_I want him to be sad and miserable forever, just silently __**begging**__ me to return to him."_

Instead, he screamed in horrific anger before crushing every breakable object in the room, including the T.V., tape and tape player, which were later reported missing and never found. I had never seen him so angry before in my entire life…and could only pray that I never would again. The closest I had ever gotten was when he almost broke a glass of water on my face, and that was fine by me. I was certain that if anyone had been unlucky enough to be there, right then, he would have blindly ripped them apart with his bare hands. It was kind of…scary.

"_But seeing her with everyone else, and Irvine's confession to her buying his help…I finally figured out that she'd made up the whole thing. She'd fucked with me and thrown me away." _

There were so many unanswered questions. What was her motive? Why do all this? What was the point in someone she didn't want chasing her forever? _When I first came to Balamb, she was acting interested in him. Even now, as a sorceress, she's still after him somehow. What the fuck? But I guess it's pointless to think about._

Months passed and the semester ended. The short midsummer break passed by uneventfully and then, the first day of the new semester arrived. Time slowed unexpectedly and I could only wonder what was left for me to witness. I followed Squall in his usual route to the classroom and my vision began to get blurry. As he turned the corner, I could make out the headmaster's ugly red sweater and…

…_me._

Like the ending of a video, everything went black.


End file.
